CHAPTER SIX





Look. Maeda Riku isn’t one to brag, okay? That’s a very unclassy thing to do and he is nothing if not the epitome of class, the essence of grace and modesty, someone who would never stoop so low as to show off what he has and others do not…


But, like. He’s got a date with Oh Sion and no one else does. So everyone else can suck it.


Riku insists that he feels a very normal way about finally getting to go on a proper date with his boyfriend even though, sure, maybe his behavior is indicative of someone who is way too expectant and much too overeager and probably disproportionately excited. But Riku can’t help it, okay? He was on cloud fucking nine when Sion kissed and hugged him in that stupid closet. Riku doesn’t even have any complaints about riding in the death machine Daeyoung calls a truck because he’s still floating off the euphoria of Sion murmuring I want to take you out, please. Their date is on Saturday - Riku only has to wait two days for what can only be the best night of his entire life. 


And okay, maybe his expectations are a tad high. Maybe. But Riku’s mostly just looking forward to getting Sion to himself for a whole night. Or, well. They can only stay out until Megumi’s bedtime, but that’s whatever. There won’t be anyone to interrupt their time alone together and Riku plans on indulging as much as he possibly can. 


“This is the happiest I’ve seen you get about a date.” Daeyoung is usually a very encouraging friend but when they arrive back home, his face is a tad judgemental. Or maybe he’s more surprised. While Riku isn’t usually a restless person, he’s been wringing his hands nonstop just thinking about what Saturday holds for him. Daeyoung levels him with a Look. “So, is Sion-san really packing or what?”


“Wh- why are you thinking perverted things? I’m just happy!” Riku is just a little petulant, as he does not care for any critique on his relationship with Sion and also he is pointedly not thinking about what Oh Sion might be packing. It’s for his own fucking sanity. “He’s just taking me to dinner. Isn’t that so romantic?”


Daeyoung blinks. “I mean. I guess.”


Riku ignores whatever that tone means. Daeyoung has his weird psychosexual thing with Yushi where all they do is eat and drink and have sex. That boy has no room to debate what romance looks like. Riku only tells him: “It’s very romantic. So, goodbye.” And then he promptly exits the truck. 


Daeyoung balks and says through the window: “I didn’t mean that-”


“I know,” Riku waves him off. “But I need some time to be crazy. I’ll see you.”


It comes off more haughty than he means it to but Daeyoung lets him go without trouble, which is good. Daeyoung is a very supportive friend, usually to a fault, but he’s seen Riku at his lowest of lows while dating and Riku doesn’t need any reminders of that right now - he’s riding the high of his time alone with his boyfriend. And also he’s still very excited.


So:


“Just don’t get too crazy, senpai,” Daeyoung calls after him. His voice is weary but accepting.


Riku huffs. He will get as insane as he pleases. “I’ll be fine!”


Without much fanfare, Riku heads to his apartment and beeps his doorcode in. He slides in through the door, slips off his shoes, unshoulders his bag. Now that he’s back home he’s really feeling the exhaustion from the festival, what with all the preparations he had to make over the past few weeks. Also the festival itself kicks up a lot of dirt. So now he’s feeling gross. Riku definitely needs a shower... and maybe he’ll get himself some takeout while he’s at it…


It’s while he’s padding to the bathroom that his phone buzzes a familiar pattern. Did you make it home safe?


Riku looks down at his phone and smiles a smile so dumb that he’s almost embarrassed. Almost. But instead he swipes to the camera app and poses for a selfie. He looks rumpled and tired but he has noticed that Sion particularly likes it when he sends photos of himself, so Riku tries providing him with selfies as often as he can. He puffs out his cheeks and presses a hand heart to his face. He clicks the shutter button. The photo comes out pretty well. Sion’s gonna love this one… 


Riku sends the photo into their LINE chat. Just got back~ I miss you~


Maybe he should have more reservations about piling his affection on so heavily, Riku knows, but Sion is a very reciprocative person. And just as expected, his response comes almost immediately.


My kitty. You’re so cute.


Ugh. He’s so- ugh! Riku should probably be feeling more shame about being twenty-nine and called cute but of course he feels no such thing. He grins even as he goes to the bathroom to shirk off all his clothes. It’s too hot to push off his shower but Riku also refuses to put his phone down, and so he sits there naked on his shower stool and smiles down at his phone like a weirdo. At least Sion doesn’t need to know just how insane he is, right? 


And so then Riku asks, maybe a tad too coy: Can I have a picture too ?


It’s a little bold of him. Perhaps too bold. Sion’s not exactly someone who takes photos of himself. Riku’s seen his camera roll; it’s nothing but Megumi and sometimes Yushi. Or photos of food. But Riku can still be hopeful because he likes to think that his boyfriend would make an exception just for him. 


But Sion doesn’t respond immediately. A few beats pass and then he replies a very straight-forward: Is that really what you want?


Hmm. Riku’s not sure if Sion’s being more teasing or genuinely asking with that. Or, knowing him, it could be both. Riku gnaws a little on his bottom lip and only dares to ask: Yes. Please?


Sion’s typing bubble pops up and down a few times. Riku turns on the shower head and waits for the water to warm up. He should put his phone down but now he’s deathly curious to see if Sion will appease him or not. Normally he caves very easily - like, extremely easily - but there are still things he’ll drag his feet about even when Riku really, really presses…


Sion’s response is predictable: Urgh.


Riku’s bottom lip juts out. He knew his boyfriend was gonna get stubborn but that doesn’t mean he’s taking an answer like that so easily. He fills his chat box with kaomojis and hearts and begs, again: Please??????


It’s just an attempt, you know. Riku doesn’t expect Sion to cave immediately because he never does if it’s something he really doesn’t like to do, like talk about himself or his own preferences or anything like that. And yet Sion’s resolve seems to be crumbling, at least a little bit. 


Ugh. And then: Do I really have to? Will you be mad at me if I don’t?


Riku laughs a little in the humidity of the wet room. He needs to- he really needs to wash off, he’s feeling grimy, but he needs to take care of this first. So Riku sends Sion: I won’t be mad!!! But it’ll make me happy!!!! Please?? I need one!! And then he puts his phone down to shower.


Riku’s curious if his very blatant begging will work because it’d be surprising if Sion gives in just from this. Or at least this one time it would be. Sion can be stubborn about the oddest of things - it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that his self esteem isn’t the greatest nor does he enjoy being looked at in general - and admittedly Riku’s a little disappointed about that. But he can be patient because one day or another he will get a proper photo of his boyfriend’s handsome face…


So Riku showers relatively quickly, scrubbing through his hair and over his body because he’s still covered in dirt from when the kids piled on top of him after the tug of war game. He hates the grubby part of child-rearing but it’s not so bad when they’re being happy and sweet and when they actually listen. Plus, with break starting tomorrow, his summer is looking very child-free and that’s a pretty exciting thought. 


Very quickly, Riku finishes his shower up and towels off and dries his hair. Then he picks up his phone, idly, just to check on-


“What the-” Riku almost drops the damn thing. His screen opens to his chat with Sion and waiting for him is- is that a selfie? Is it actually?


And, well. It seems like it is, because it’s a picture of his boyfriend staring into the camera with a peace sign pressed to his cheek. Riku grins as he looks down at the photo. Sion’s so handsome. He’s not really smiling but his ears are red and he’s standing in his kitchen of all places. The posing of it all is very awkward, which only makes Riku feel more endeared because of the text that accompanies it. 


Is this what you wanted? -_-


That’s- wow. Wow. The funny thing is that Riku has absolutely no reason to be this surprised when he was the one who was begging so much for a selfie in return, but still. He’s surprised Sion’s indulging in something he usually dislikes doing so much. But either way, Riku is delighted. 


Wow!!! He doesn’t even know what the normal thing to say is. You’re so handsome!!! Wow!!! ♡♡♡


Is that kind of lame of him? Yes. Does he care? No, not particularly. Riku leaves the bathroom to go to his room and put some clothes on. His phone buzzes again while he’s pulling his shirt on, then again when he’s putting on a pair of shorts, and then-


Riku stares at his phone. What could Sion possibly be saying that requires that many messages?


I’m glad you like it…


I haven’t taken a selfie since college. Sorry I’m old.


Actually ignore that last message. I'm not old. But sometimes I remember that you’re still in your twenties and it gives me a crisis.


Taking selfies at my age is weird. 


But for you… I can try.


Maybe. Urgh.


Riku is deeply endeared by this, if not also exasperated by Sion’s tendency of talking down on himself. He isn’t sure how one person could possibly be so insecure about taking selfies when Oh Sion’s face is, like, generational. And he needs to know that.


And so Riku only asks him: Are you with Gumi?


As usual, the response comes after a few seconds. Sion’s so dependable like that. No. She’s napping and I’m supposed to be making her dinner.


Riku blinks. How in the world could she… er, never mind. Megumi’s a bit of an odd kid, he should’ve expected that. So Riku chooses to ignore the usual questions he has about Megumi’s sleeping patterns - such as how can one seven year-old possibly nap as much as she does? - to ask the more important thing here, because even though they just saw each other, he wants to talk more. 


Can we call? Or are you busy cooking?


There’s a brief moment where Riku gets nothing in response. Just a brief one. But then Sion’s typing bubble pops up and he says: I’m never too busy for you.


Eugh. Sion really has his sweet moments and they never get any less jarring. So Riku, blushing just a little bit, plops down into bed and calls Sion’s number. This time it only rings once before his call gets picked up. A low, tired voice asks: “Hello?” 


For some reason Sion always sounds so weary over the phone. Riku grins. It’s just kind of funny considering that Sion usually coos at him otherwise…


“Hi, Sion-san. This is Riku, your boyfriend.” Riku acts a little indignant, even if only because Sion always answers the phone like he’s scared of it or something. And also he wants to tease. “Can’t you greet me more sweetly?”


Sion only huffs out a laugh on the other side of the line. Maybe he’s really just trying to keep quiet. “I- that’s what you want?” Sion hums when Riku affirms with yes, please. “Ah, okay, let me think…” 


Another moment passes. A very, very long moment. It’s like Sion’s waiting for something and Riku, a little impatient, pouts: “Sion-san.”


But maybe he should’ve been a little bit more patient. Because Sion, without skipping a single beat, coos right back: “Riku~”


It’s- it’s bad. Riku should’ve seen that one coming from a million miles away because Sion loves to tease him right back, and yet his face still goes red. Riku’s still not used to Sion saying his given name, let alone in that fond voice. “Actually, never mind…” Riku squirms a little in bed and backtracks almost instantly.


Sion laughs again, this time a little louder. “Really? I thought you wanted me to be sweet to you.”


You are, Riku thinks. But instead he says: “I do. But you… you do too much.” And then he refuses to elaborate any more than that because if he has to hear Sion call for him again - in that loving tone, no less - he will die. 


You can hear the smile in Sion’s voice. “Ah, I’m sorry. You’re just cute.”


Riku rolls over in bed. He originally called to discuss the selfie - and Sion thinking that he’s old, because somehow he’s getting more ridiculous by the day - but it’s also just nice to talk to each other without other people listening in. So Riku closes his eyes as he plops into a pillow. “Can you send me photos of yourself more often? Getting to look at your face is a treat…”


Sion says nothing for a second. But then, a little weary: “That’s a tall order, baby.”


Riku’s cheeks warm a little at the pet name but he means it. “But I send them all the time…” He doesn’t really mean to guilt trip but it’s true, isn’t it? “You get to call me cute. What if I want to call you cute?”


“Me?” As expected, Sion’s response comes automatically, as if it’s well practiced: “Ehhh. I’m not cute.”


For a second Riku blinks. Because- because what the hell. “Oi, who told you that?” He grouches into his phone because it’s true, Sion is actually a very cute man. He’s more expressive than you’d expect, he’s very doting in general, that kind of thing. “I think you’re plenty cute.”


“I- Well-” Sion cuts himself off. He sounds a little exasperated. “I- I don’t think anyone else thinks that. You’re the only one who thinks I’m cute, Riku.”


Riku frowns because he knows for a fact that that is a lie. But then, after another second of thinking, he gets indignant too. “Hey, why does anyone else need to think you’re cute? I’m your boyfriend. No one else gets to have opinions about how cute you are.” Riku isn’t really a jealous person but he’d- he’d like Sion to care a little more about his opinion as his boyfriend. Plus he just likes reminding Sion of the fact that they are, indeed, dating. “Sion-san, is there anyone else you want to look cute for?”


It comes out sounding a little bit like a lecture. Unfortunately that’s just habit - Riku’s a teacher, you know. But Sion sighs a little on the other side of the line. “No. It’s just you.”


Despite everything, Sion’s voice is still warm as it always is. And Riku, because he is insane, is way too satisfied by that answer. “That’s right,” he says again in his Teacher Voice. “So take lots of photos. And be cute only for me. I want- um.” He squints off at nothing and thinks. “I want fifteen selfies on my desk by Monday.”


Sion sounds admonished. “Fifteen?”


“Okay, fourteen,” Riku compromises. Then he laughs when Sion groans. “Okay, fine! Thirteen and no less!”


“I can do one a day. That gets you three.” Just like Riku uses his Teacher Voice, Sion has his Dad Voice. “And you even get to see me on Saturday. So surely that counts for about… ten?”


Riku smiles. “It does not.” But three is better than nothing, which is what he was already working with. And Maeda Riku is not a greedy man so he won’t push too hard. Though eventually he’ll find a way to make Sion give in, surely…


“Too bad,” Sion says. His voice is firm. “Your boyfriend is old. This is how it is.”


Ugh, of course that’s his only comeback. Riku puffs his cheeks out. He’s not offended but he is a tiny bit bothered that Sion uses this I’m-such-an-old-man-and-woe-is-me thing against him. “You’re not old,” Riku says. “You’re only five years older than me.”


Sion chuckles. And then, horrifically, he reminds him: “We wouldn’t even have been in high school together.”


“Th-” Riku has no comeback for that even though it’s ridiculous because it’s already been over ten years since either of them were in high school. So all he can think to say is: “Well, of course not! You were in Korea and I was here!”


For some reason, that makes Sion laugh. It’s a real laugh, a loud one, the kind of laugh he sometimes wheezes out whenever the kids do something particularly outrageous. It’s hard for Riku to not feel a little smug about getting Sion to laugh like that. Hmph, that’s right. Only your boyfriend can make you that happy, Oh Sion. 


“You got me there.” Sion’s voice is happy, fond. “I guess- well, eh, five years isn’t so bad…”


“It’s not,” Riku says stiffly, because it isn’t and they’re already too old to be keeping score like that. And, without thinking, he adds: “Besides, maybe I’ve got a thing for older guys.”


There’s a beat. And then: “Do you?”


Riku said it to get brownie points but in retrospect he’s realizing that only does the opposite. Damn, he dug himself into that hole. Riku huffs. “Actually, let’s not get into that.” And when Sion tries to say something else: “Seriously, don’t try it, ‘cause I’m so into you and that’s it.”


Sion just chuckles again, though. Riku thought he’d be offended by the prospect, but maybe- maybe not? “Is that really it? Riku, I’m starting to suspect that you’re actually more into… what, am I a DILF?”


God, how could he- ugh. Riku’s not into older men on principle, let alone dads, but it’d be a lie to say that aspect of Sion isn’t… very attractive. His face goes red and he says immediately: “That’s not it.”


It’s not. It actually isn’t. But there is something deeply sexy about how Oh Sion is such a good dad and good with kids in general. Though it’s not like Riku’s the only person who thinks that. He’s seen the moms at school give Sion looks, especially the married ones - Oh Sion is a catch in basically every way and Riku’s not pretending anything otherwise. 


“Are you sure?” Sion hums again when Riku scoffs at his question. “You know, Daeyoung told me something so interesting-”


“Don’t listen to that demon!” Riku whines immediately. He doesn’t know what Daeyoung said but that man is evil and it’s not fair because it’s not like Riku could, say, go to Yushi for the insider scoop. Tokuno is a brick wall and Riku is helpless. “Whatever he said isn’t true, you’re my dream man!”


But to his horror, that only makes Sion laugh more. “Haha, I know. That’s what he told me.” His voice is so smug. 


And that is so- Why is he so- Sion’s such an asshole!


Riku feels his entire face turn bright red. None of this is fair and somehow that is worse, the fact that Sion already knows; somehow this is worse than if Sion were to find out about his vast preference for older men and women or- or how he has a thing for dad bods. This is so much worse. Because it’s too real and Riku likes him way, way, way too much and Sion is too good at teasing him and one day he is going to straight-up die. Riku has to stop letting himself be goaded into these things so easily but it’s not fault when his own boyfriend is his biggest bully.


“You’re so mean,” Riku whines, burying his face in his pillow. It comes out very petulant but he’s so embarrassed he could die, probably.  


“I know. I’m sorry, baby.” Sion’s voice is so fond that Riku could melt into it. “You’re my dream man, too.”


It’s really not fair because Sion can be suave when he tries to be and Riku feels so helpless whenever that affectionate tone is turned on him. “Am I really?” Riku can’t help but ask even though he already knows the answer. His voice lilts into curiosity and he’s maybe goading Sion on just a little bit, but that’s only because he wants to hear more…


Sion sighs something exasperated. “Of course you are. Do you want me to give you a list?”


That makes Riku smile. “No, you don’t have to. But maybe next time…” His smile widens into a grin when that makes Sion sigh again. “Hey, I’m joking!”


They call for a bit longer but soon enough Megumi wanders into the kitchen because she’s hungry for dinner and Sion needs to start cooking. And Riku, too, needs to eat. He wants to talk more but he’s aware that Sion has his duties as a parent no matter how much of his time Riku wants to take up… 


And that’s fine. It’s not like Riku’s gonna ask Sion - who is perhaps the most dedicated parent in the entire world - to put his needs over Megumi’s. It’s just a little disappointing sometimes. But he’ll get over it. It’s not that big of a deal.


“I’ll see you tomorrow, though,” Sion reminds him before he hangs up, once he has convinced Megumi to go off and distract herself until dinner’s ready. “And then you’ll see me on Saturday, remember?”


Riku flushes a little at the reminder even though it’s pretty much all he can think about. “Yeah…”


“I’m excited,” Sion tells him. “It’s gonna be hard to not kiss you tomorrow, so don’t get all cute during drop-off.”


Riku goes even redder. “I won’t…”


Sion laughs. There’s a yell in the background. He responds in Korean and then: “Okay, kitty, I’ll see you. Be good, okay?”


Sion’s been saying that these days, ‘be good.’ Riku can’t tell if it’s another habit - because that’s what he says to Megumi whenever they part - or if his boyfriend’s just generally telling him to… what, behave? But Maeda Riku is admittedly a bit of a degenerate, and so he’s not complaining about it. “I will.”


“Good,” Sion’s voice is warm. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, baby.” And then he hangs up.


Riku stares at his phone a little bit longer before groaning into his pillow. Ugh. Ughhh. Ever since they started dating, Riku's been left feeling severely embarrassed in the aftermath of their calls because Sion is so doting even over the phone. His tone is so fond and he’s so sweet and Riku is a little ashamed that the Dad Voice is what does him in. Because it’s not even in, like, the sexy way. Sion just speaks to him so affectionately. Riku’s not used to it yet…


It’s only when his phone buzzes does he roll off of his pillow. He needs to go hunt down some food. But Riku smiles at the text he gets. Don’t forget to get yourself some dinner, kitty.


I will~ Riku responds back. Wow. Wow, Sion makes him so happy.


So he orders from the only fast food place in town that sells hamburg steak. Its not Riku’s favorite but after a day like today he needs something heavy that will put him into a fucking coma. Eventually Sion sends him a photo of his meal, which is pork belly. He offers him some, which Riku is morose he can’t accept even though he’d much prefer eating Sion’s food over some delivery bullshit. But the hamburg steak tastes good and he needs the calories after running around all day…



So he eats it. And then he passes out immediately. And that’s not a bad way to end another long festival day. 


That night passes the same as ever; so does the next day. That Friday is merely the closing ceremony before break so there’s not much to do in terms of, like, actual teaching besides corralling the kids together. The little ones are basically impossible to calm down but it’s not like the older kids are much better - they pile into the auditorium and Riku catches glimpses of Sakuya and Ryo roughhousing with their classmates.


Isn’t- isn’t Ryo the class president? And he’s still being so rowdy? He’s setting such a bad example! Riku wants to lecture but ultimately decides to ignore them. They’re not his students, that isn’t his fucking problem, and Riku doesn’t envy their teacher in the least.


(But still, Riku can’t help but fume a little. He raised Ryo-chan to be much more well-mannered than that!)


Though Suzuki keeps things brief at the closing ceremony, which is lucky for all of them. Riku has a hard enough time keeping the kids in line, he doesn’t want to have to keep them still for hours either. He only makes sure everyone heads home once the day is all wrapped up. Megumi and Maku leave with Tsugumi. School ended early today and both their parents are still at work - Riku had seen Sion earlier in the morning but they kept things more brief than usual so as to not get too excited over what tomorrow will bring.


“See you, Sensei!” Megumi squeezes a hug around Riku’s waist. “I’m gonna miss you!”


“Ah, I’ll miss you too,” Riku says, because he will. He pats her on the head. “Be good for your Appa, okay?”


“I will.” Megumi’s voice is pointedly a little too innocent, which means she has very different plans for her dad in mind. But alas.


Riku’s glad to be off early. Now he gets to be a bum for forty days and he couldn’t be more excited because the rest of the year he has to be on his A-game. Is he a little jealous of the longer breaks the teachers get in the West? Absolutely, he is. But beggars can’t be choosers and Riku immediately changes into his PJs when he gets home, burrowing into his usual spot on the couch. He sends a text to his group chat with Daeyoung and the kids.


DON’T BOTHER ME UNTIL MONDAY. SERIOUSLY.


The three boys send back their affirmatives. Bless their hearts. Riku will usually give in and let them come over and terrorize him no problem, but now he desperately needs the break. Like, even more than usual. Especially with how the past few weeks have gone and with exam season finally over and everything…


The last thing Riku does before turning his phone off and throwing it somewhere where it can’t bother him is text Sion. I’M FREE! I hope work is going well hehe ♡ It’s more out of principle than anything else because Sion’s usually too busy with the ryokan to text much. 


But then it’s time to be a bum. And so Riku buries into his couch and celebrates the impending six weeks of absolutely nothing ahead of him. 


The feeling of freedom is spectacular. Riku listens to his tired body and does literally nothing. He saved some leftovers from last night, and so he watches a k-drama he saw advertised on Instagram (the Japanese subtitles are questionably low-quality) while chowing down on his food. A part of him wants to learn Korean by osmosis because Sion and Megumi pretty much speak exclusively in Korean outside of school. And he’s, like, so nosy about whatever they’re talking about. But the more Riku watches this show, the more he realizes actually speaking it would be difficult.


He downloads a Korean learning app on his phone. He tries sounding out some of the syllables. And it is- it’s nearly impossible. Plus so many of these vowels sound exactly the same. Riku sends his phone an admonished look and tries looking up Youtube videos on learning Korean from Japanese. That seems hard, too. It’s when he’s debating cutting his losses when a text comes in.


Hi, kitty. Just got back from work. I hope you enjoy your break. Now I’m gonna be busy with the kid TTT


Oh, right. Now that Megumi is out of his hands Sion has to take care of her full-time - Riku hadn’t even considered that. He bites his lip and shovels some hamburger into his mouth as he texts back: Can anyone watch her? 


Riku was hoping that his boyfriend’s summer wouldn’t be too stressful, but Sion’s reply comes quickly and even over text he sounds a little stressed. Poor guy.


No. Maku and Megumi are gonna hangout at the ryokan but we’re gonna have our hands full with watching them and working... Yushi says it’s fine but he’s gonna be pissed by day three. Lol.


Riku stares down at his phone. Wow. So this is the real privilege of being a child-less teacher, he’s realizing, he gets to go home and be absolved of all of his child-rearing responsibilities. He blinks. Should he… should he offer to help? He has no plans for the foreseeable future other than a weekend trip back to Fukui, but besides that…


Do you want me to watch them?


The offer is half-serious. As in, Riku wouldn’t mind lending a hand but he doesn’t think Sion would genuinely consider it. Riku is their teacher but not much more than that and while babysitting isn’t exactly an inappropriate offer, it’s not conventional of him. In a town this small no one would find it weird. But again, he and Sion are dating. And maybe some degree of separation would be-


Sion replies after only a minute, though. Would you? Seriously?


Riku blinks once, surprised by his boyfriend’s apparent surprise. Then he blinks again when his phone rings. Of course it’s Sion. So Riku picks it up, unsure exactly why this is the kind of reaction he’s getting.


“H-hello?”


“Hi. Sorry, it’s easier to talk this way.” Then Sion cuts right to the chase, just as expected: “Are you really being serious?” He sounds almost- hopeful, for some reason. “Sorry, I know you’re just being nice, but I really-”


“That’s not- hold on.” Riku cuts him off just to make things clear. “I’m not just being nice. It was a serious offer. But I didn’t know if you’d want me to, you know, because we’re…” Riku doesn’t know quite how to word this, licking his lips. 


There’s a pause. Sion exhales. “...Right. That’s true. Sorry, I got a little excited, because-” For some reason, Sion chuckles a little. “It’s just been a while since I’ve gotten babysitting help from anyone other than Yushi…”


Riku sits back against the couch and hums. “That’s why I offered. I’m fine with it if you’re fine with it. I just didn’t want to…” Riku pauses. “I don’t want to overstep.”


He doesn’t even know if he’s explaining himself correctly. But Sion breathes a tiny thing, again. “It’s not overstepping if you’re just babysitting. If you’re comfortable with that…?”


Riku puts the phone call on speaker and smiles down at his phone. He always knew he’d be doing things at Sion’s pace - that was a given - he just wasn’t quite sure if Sion trusted him to this extent. You know, with Megumi and everything. They’re both aware that she likes Riku a lot - and from what Sion has said to him, she likes him more than most people - but Riku doesn’t want to cross any boundaries. Whatever those may be.


“Well, I could structure some kind of lessons for them. Or we could go over some of the workbooks I got for autism.” Riku feels weirdly embarrassed for some reason. “It’s up to you. And Sachiko-san. If you trust me with them…”


Sion doesn’t say anything for a long moment. It’s not tense, but when he speaks, his voice is a little tired. “I guess I just don’t know how these things normally work. Gumi likes you so much and I’ve never had much support with her anyway…” Sion chuckles a little, though it’s not necessarily out of humor. “Sorry. I don’t want to take advantage of our… um. Our relationship.”


It’s funny. Sion doesn’t seem to realize, yet, that Riku would happily do anything for him in regards to Megumi. Somehow Sion doesn’t realize that Riku really just… he wants to help. He really does. Maybe more than he should.


So, even though Sion can’t see him blush, Riku can’t help but feel a little shy. “I’d offer regardless of our relationship, though. I want to help you and Sachiko-san out. But I’d also like to work with Megumi on some… um…” His fingers fiddle with each other. “They call them coping skills.”


Sion hums. It’s a thoughtful sound. “Right. That. You’re-” He sighs. “You’re an angel. You know that, right?” 


Riku blushes a little more. “I don’t know…” It’s not fair how Sion can make him feel so shy even now.


But Sion doesn’t seem to mind the embarrassed edge of Riku’s voice. His tone is a little more cheery this time around. “You are. You’re an angel. I’ll talk to Sachiko-san if you’re really sure, baby.”


Riku softens again at the petname. “I am. I don’t have anything going on anyway…”


Normally he’d hate signing himself up for more work but Maku and Megumi aren’t really troublemakers, nor are they particularly high energy kids. Is this a little- is it toeing the line? Maybe. But Riku was being honest when he said he wanted to help Megumi out. He’s only her teacher until March, anyway, and they’ve got a lot of work cut out for them until the year ends. Riku wants to set her up for success without worrying that he’s leaving her to the wolves when she moves up a grade...


“Okay. Okay, Riku, thank you.” You can hear the smile in Sion’s voice. “You’re my savior. I’ve told you that before, but I mean it.”


“I… maybe.” Riku takes a petulant bite of his hamburg steak. He puffs his cheeks out a bit. He gets on Sion for being bad at accepting compliments but somehow he always feels so embarrassed when Sion praises him back…


“Well, you are. God, I-” Sion laughs a little and the sound rumbles in Riku’s stomach. “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Do you want me to pick you up?”


And that offer is- well. For some reason, Riku’s brain almost restarts. “Pick me up?” No one has ever picked him up for a date before. During college he was always doing the picking up, or the other person thought it was strange, or they were closeted, so-


“Yeah. Unless that’s weird.” Sion’s chuckle is a little nervous this around. “I-”


“No, wait. I want you to.” Riku blushes furiously. Why is this so embarrassing, he’s almost thirty! “I’ve just never been offered before. But if you could, I-I’d really like that…”


For a second neither of them say anything. Like, for a long moment. But then Sion exhales a fond sound. 


“Okay. You’re- wow.” He sounds happy. “You make me feel crazy. You’re too sweet for me.”


Riku curls into himself. “I’m not. There’s no such thing as too sweet to you, Sion-san…” Is that too doting of a response? Too fond? It might be, but Riku doesn’t care.


Sion chuckles again. “You’re right. You’re perfect.” Then he laughs a little when Riku makes an involuntary wounded sound. “Okay, sorry, I’ll stop. But tomorrow? At five?”


And, well. As embarrassing of a boyfriend Sion is, no one could say he wasn’t very attentive. “Yeah,” Riku grins despite himself. “Don’t be late.”


“I won’t.” Sion’s voice is firm. “I’ll be early for you, baby. Be good. I’ll see you tomorrow.”


Riku’s grin is way too wide on his face. “Okay. See you.” And then Sion hangs up.


Wow. Riku sets his phone down against his chest and grins. It’s probably weird for him to feel so disproportionately endeared by someone he is, in fact, already dating. But hell, Sion is so sweet and Riku’s pretty sure he doesn’t even realize it. Past his walls he’s just… he dotes a lot. You can tell he’s affectionate with all of his friends - and his daughter, of course - and that affection goes even deeper than you’d think it does. Riku wouldn’t dare think of himself as an exception or as someone Sion dotes on more than anyone else, but it’s hard to not be a little overjoyed that Sion has no problem showering him with praise and affection to the extent that he does. That’s good, isn’t it? It’s a good premonition for their date, right?


But maybe Riku’s being too wishful, though. He’s not under the impression that their relationship will be only sunshine and rainbows. Even if Sion didn’t clearly have so many hangups about himself, Riku isn’t stupid enough to think that a guy who’s a single parent just a few years out of a seemingly messy divorce would be easy to date. Sion is… extremely cautious. And even when he isn’t, he gets really down on himself. Riku can’t quite understand the way Sion thinks, but he’s also never been put in a position that requires even half the responsibility that Sion’s role of single father does. But Riku wants to understand how his boyfriend ticks and he wants to help him realize that he’s good. You can only do what Sion has done if you’re a good person, Riku knows that for a fact - he’s seen all kinds of attitudes from single parents and it’s not often you come across someone like Sion, who always puts his kid before his own wants and needs.


And Riku just wants to- well. He’s not going to try and be any kind of savior. Of course not. But he doesn’t mind having to do a little work to show Sion how good he is good, you know, because he is. Plus helping out with Megumi might ease some of the burden. It’s not like Riku is really planning in the long term, like- like stepping into her life. He wouldn’t dare to. But the possibility is there and he wants to do something good for the both of them if he has the chance.


He’s just… it’s okay for him to want that, right? Sion is a good dad. Megumi is a good kid. Riku won’t try to replace whatever- whatever it is that they lack. He’ll just be there if he’s allowed to be. He hopes that’s okay and he hopes that he can at least help them a little bit because he really does care about them both…


Riku blinks out of his daze when his phone buzzes. It’s a selfie of Sion in bed, his kid cuddled up in his side. The message that follows is this: I can’t wait to see you.


Riku grins. Yeah, he can’t wait either.



 ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 



…And, well, okay. Okay, so it’s not that Riku is having a crisis less than twenty-four hours later. Except maybe he’s having a little bit of a crisis. Just a tiny one. 


“Daeyoung,” he groans. “What do I wear?”


Daeyoung, who is strewn across his bed, squints at him. “Umm. Maybe try the leather jacket again…?”


“It’s July!” Riku wails. “Do you want me to die?!”


He’s being a tad dramatic, sure, but Riku hasn’t properly dated anyone since college and he can’t exactly fallback on the ye olde reliable ‘Go Slutty on the First Date’. Never mind that that’s not really the vibe with Sion, he can only be so bold in a town as tiny as this one - while Riku doesn’t have issues with people speculating he may not exactly be straight, he’s still trying to lay low for the sake of, like, his safety. 


So, you know. Riku’s having just a teeny bit of a meltdown. This is not his proudest moment but he’d probably be doing better if his best friend were at least more helpful.


“Okay, well,” Daeyoung turns back to his phone. “Then I guess you’ll die.”


“Daeyoung! Daeyoung! How could you!” Riku is so offended he could cry and Daeyoung breaks into giggles like this is all very funny, which it isn’t. Riku smacks him with the sleeve of a sweater because he’s admonished - what happened to his good-boy kouhai who does everything he’s told? “Come on! Help me out! You know how much I like him!”


“Sorry! It’s just-” Daeyoung giggles as Riku smacks him again. “Okay, I’m sorry! It’s just funny! I’ve never seen you freak out this much!”


Riku relents, huffing, though that’s mostly because Daeyoung has a point. It’s true that Riku doesn’t usually get this paranoid about his dates, or at least he’s not usually this worried about them going poorly. He may have the tendency to go all-in in his crushes but first dates are like the wild west of dating, right? You can’t be too upset if they go badly. Riku’s best quality is his blind confidence so he can’t let himself get crestfallen if he and his date simply don’t click. But things with Sion are already going really well. They’re going really, really well and Riku really doesn’t want to fuck things up because on principle this is the healthiest, most normal, most reciprocative relationship he’s ever been in. And maybe that was a low bar to pass, yeah, but it still raises the stakes of a mere first date, especially since they’re both approaching things so slowly.


A lot of Riku’s other relationships were more intimate-forward - or at least pretty sexually charged at their onset - and he’s much more used to that kind of dynamic. There was a lot less pressure when he always knew that sex wasn’t very far off in the distance, so playing up the flirting or teasing was an easy solve when things got awkward. But Sion said he wanted to take things really slow. So Riku doesn’t have his normal moves to fall back on. And that’s fine, really, it’s just- it’s new.


(And okay, yeah, maybe Riku still sometimes has the inclination to go full speed because that’s just what he’s used to. Maybe. But for the man of his dreams he will relent. Otherwise Sion’s gonna find some kind of way to weasel out of his hands. 


Riku can just feel it in his bones. Sion always tries to run when he gets cornered and Riku isn’t taking any fucking chances.)


So:


“I’m just worried,” Riku pouts a little. He parks himself down on the bed, sitting at the edge of his sheets while sending Daeyoung a crestfallen look. And therein lies the real thing he’s worried about: “You know how Sion-san is. He’s probably gonna try to tell me not to date him…”


Daeyoung blinks. “You think so?”


Riku smiles a tiny, sardonic thing. “Probably.”


A date to make their relationship official is only customary, right? And so all of this seems very innocent at first glance. But Riku isn’t stupid; he has noticed that Sion operates in patterns. He only likes revealing himself little by little and Riku’s almost certain that Sion wouldn’t agree to go steady with him without laying all his cards out on the table. And given the way Sion’s been skirting around all mention of anything too deeply personal over the last two weeks, a storm of some kind is coming. There just has to be. Whenever things get too vulnerable Sion always makes at least one attempt to stave him off - Riku would be an idiot if he hadn’t noticed that. 


But here’s the thing: Riku can’t be dissuaded. He wasn’t dissuaded that night in the park two weeks ago, he isn’t dissuaded now. He will do whatever’s necessary to get it through his boyfriend’s head that he’s staying and that’s- that’s it. That’s all it is. Riku’s certain this date will go well because Sion isn’t getting rid of him so easily - he is much more relentless than Sion seems to realize - but Riku also knows it will be a bit of a pain to make him understand that. 


So it’s just… under all of Riku’s excitement is an edge of nervousness he just can’t shake off. It’s annoying. 


“You’re brave, senpai.” Daeyoung doesn’t use the word “delusional,” which Riku appreciates, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t really get what his deal is but it seems like… a lot.”


Under any other circumstance Riku would probably point out that he and Daeyoung are one for one in ‘being interested in older men with a lot going on with them.’ But he will let it slide just this once. “I think it’s probably more complicated than I think. But he’s still really…” Riku’s smile goes fond. “I don’t know. Sion-san’s already so good to me.”


Daeyoung nods. “He is. So stop worrying about your outfit. I think he’d probably like you wearing whatever.”


And, well. That makes Riku perk up a little bit. He didn’t exactly need a pep talk to get through his melodramatics but Riku still appreciates Daeyoung encouraging him anyway. He beams. “You think so?”


“Yeah, we wear those ugly smocks at work,” Daeyoung points out, which is also true. “And yet he thinks you’re sexy.”


Riku’s ears go pink and he scratches at his neck, embarrassed. “Eh, he doesn’t think that…”


Daeyoung doesn’t waver, though. “Trust me, he does.”


So that’s that. The bolster in confidence certainly helps. Daeyoung has a point in that Sion is pretty easy to please, even though most of the time that isn’t necessarily a good thing. But alas. Riku retrieves his phone from where it’s charging on his nightstand. Sion hasn’t texted him but he’s probably getting ready, too, and a little interrogation never hurt anyone. If Sion really finds Riku attractive in that smock then maybe asking the man himself for an opinion isn’t the worst idea ever…


Like, Riku already has a rough plan of what he should wear, but since when did he pass up the opportunity to needle some praises out of his boyfriend? That’s right: never. 


So Riku goes to their chat and types out the text he has in mind. Sion-san~ What’s your ideal type? He’s only asking on the off-chance Sion gives him a genuine answer, which is extremely unlikely, but it doesn’t hurt to fish for some compliments anyway. Riku’s type of man has always been very blatant and yet Sion’s rather cagey about what he likes, so if Riku could appease that then at least he’d worry less. Or worst case scenario he finds out that Sion really does like him in the smock. And that would be mildly concerning but not the worst thing in the world, so…


Riku sends the message and then he sets his phone down to dive back into the piles of clothes strewn across his bed because he figures it’ll be a minute before Sion responds. But then there’s a buzz. And when he picks his phone back up, Sion’s message says only: ?


Ah. He should’ve expected that. Riku explains himself, albeit hardly: I’m figuring out what to wear. What’s your ideal type?


This time Riku doesn’t put his phone back down on his nightstand - he stands there and waits. Sion’s typing bubble pops up and down a few times only to send back a response that literally anyone could’ve predicted, and yet Riku still blushes anyway.


You’re my ideal type.


Like, really. Riku should’ve expected that kind of reply from Sion because that’s the kind of boyfriend he is. He loves handing out praises freely, almost to an excessive extent, and of course Riku has no issue with that. He loves Sion’s praise. He loves it a little too much, actually, according to Daeyoung and all of his loved ones. 


Really?! Riku’s ears are red even though he already knows what Sion is going to say back. But there’s no harm in asking for a few more compliments, is there?


Of course, Sion says. Who else would it be? And, well, he got him there.


Riku smiles, his face a little pink. Though he needs to- he really needs to get ready. So he sends Sion a barrage of happy kaomojis and hearts because they do enough talking for him and then he turns back to Daeyoung. The kid had a point - Riku needs to lean harder into his usual style. Oh Sion is ridiculously easy to please and he should use that to his advantage. 


“Okay, I got it,” Riku beams. “Let’s blow him away!”


It’s a joint effort, but after a while of trying things on and coordinating different pieces, they put Riku’s outfit together. It seems casual enough. A v-neck, a light jacket, some jeans. But the v-neck is a little low. And the jeans hug his ass really, really well. But it’s not overt in that Riku looks like he’s on a gay date, and yet he’s still dressed leagues better than what Sion sees him wearing at work everyday. This might shock his boyfriend down to his fucking bones. And hell, Riku hopes it does.


“You look good,” Daeyoung confirms with a staunch nod of approval. He is aware that Riku and Sion are going very slow and he’s being so normal about it, though he still has his opinions. Such as ‘since when did you go slow with anyone?’ 


Which is… well. Daeyoung might have a point there. But Riku is perfectly capable of matching his boyfriend’s tempo and that’s all that anyone needs to worry about!


“This is perfect,” Riku affirms. He looks himself up and down in the mirror and smiles, because if Sion likes him in the smock, this is gonna be a full-on culture shock. He gives himself a nice pat on the ass. “He’s gonna freak out.”


“Senpai, you’re so-” Daeyoung pulls a face in the background, which he only does when Riku is being a little crazy. But still, he doesn’t have to be so mean about it. “Does Sion-san know you’re so weird?”


Riku immediately turns around, admonished. So much for his unwavering confidence. “What’d you say?”


“I meant-”


“No, I heard what you said! Since when was I weird, huh? Huh?”


Daeyoung leaves soon after that because Sion will be here any minute, however Riku bestows upon his best friend a relatively expensive bottle of sake in thanks for his help. Apparently Daeyoung and Yushi are getting together tomorrow, and he is- well, it’s a whole thing. 


Even Daeyoung’s sheepish little smile is suspicious. “Thank you. I think he’ll like this…”


Riku ignores his suspicious tone because yeah, whatever that means, he doesn’t really want to know. “Well, I appreciate your help,” Riku sees Daeyoung to the door. “And don’t do anything I wouldn’t, okay?”


Daeyoung’s blush is growing as Riku shuts his door in his face. “Wh- I- We’re not-” 


“I don’t want to know, alright?” Riku calls. “But be safe!”


Riku is serious in his advice, even though he can’t yet decide if he wants to be nosy about the kind of relationship that’s brewing between those two or not. Riku tries not to worry too much, but those boys are seriously fooling no one and he can’t help but be a little nervous for whatever Daeyoung is getting himself into when Tokuno Yushi is largely unreadable. Daeyoung’s so sensitive, plus Yushi’s several years older… he doesn’t need to get his poor heart broken again… especially in a town this small…


Seconds pass before Riku shakes his head out of his daze. Er, well, he can worry about that tomorrow. Today he has a date of his own, doesn’t he? And so Riku banishes all thoughts of anyone besides Sion out of his mind while he waits for his boyfriend to pick him up. 


Because, like, wow! Just the reminder makes him feel so excited! Who cares what Daeyoung is getting up to with Yushi, this is much more important!


Soon enough, there’s a knock at his door. For a second Riku’s confused because who the hell knocks instead of ringing the doorbell? But then he realizes of course Sion would. Of course he would, he’s like a million years old. 


“I- I’m coming!” Riku calls out, suddenly feeling ill-prepared as he grabs his wallet off of the dining table. Then he goes for the door. Riku blushes as he swings it open and leans shakily against the doorframe. He’s breathless. “H-hi.”


“...Hi.” Sion’s voice is low as he steps into the doorway, backlit by the shadows of the apartment building walkways. His eyes shift to the plunge of Riku’s shirt as Riku very blatantly looks him up and down. 


Riku smiles. It’s a wide, smug thing. “You’re so handsome.”


Sion’s ears are red. He’s cute. And he does look very handsome, too. Normally he’s either wearing his work uniform or something baggy but now he has a t-shirt that hugs his chest really well, and also a nice, standard pair of jeans. Riku lets his eyes drag over all the wonderful places this outfit accentuates. Sion clears his throat. But then he says nothing, faltering again when Riku looks pointedly at his pecs.


And, well, Riku is fascinated by this reaction he’s getting from his boyfriend. When was the last time Sion was so shy around him? He resists the urge to tease too much, only needling at him once: “You don’t have any compliments for your date, Sion-san?”


Wonderfully enough, Sion’s eyes are still stuck on the low dip of Riku’s v-neck. “No, it’s just- You also…” For a brief second their eyes meet, and then Sion looks away again. “You look good.”


Riku’s grins. He reaches out for Sion’s hand; he squeezes. “Do I?”


“Of course,” Sion says. He glances back at him, this time at his face. And then, after a second of them staring at each other, Sion tells him: “Um. I’m gonna kiss you now.”


Admittedly, that declaration catches him a little off guard. Riku, still smiling, blinks. “Oh. You’re-?”


Sion does exactly as he says, though - he steps forward again and leans down to meet Riku in a kiss and it is very chaste, of course. But Sion’s hand slides up Riku’s arm, his shoulder, his nape. He squeezes. Riku makes a tiny noise without meaning to and Sion pulls away entirely. For a second Riku can only blink. Sion smiles a sheepish little thing. “Was that okay?”


Riku needs a second for his brain to come back online. But he says: “Y-yeah…” And yet his mind is already going haywire. So that’s how Oh Sion kisses his boyfriend hello on a date. That’s so sexy! Holy shit!


“We have to behave ourselves in public,” Sion explains himself in a low murmur. But his thumb runs along Riku’s baby hairs. “You look… very pretty. I was gonna bring you flowers but I thought it’d draw too much attention…”


Riku blushes. It’s not fair how quickly Sion can turn these things on him, but even so, he reaches up on his tiptoes for just one more kiss. “Don’t worry about flowers…” Riku’s arm circles Sion’s neck. “And you’re also pretty…” He cranes up, up, up.


Sion smiles, his face still pink. “Thank you, baby.” And then he kisses him again.


And again… and again… and again… and then again…


Riku, embarrassingly enough, whines a little when Sion pulls away. He knows he’s pouting but he still complains: “I want more.”


Sion presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “We have a reservation,” he says. Though his lips are red and well-kissed and that’s a sight Riku is really proud of. “Also we’re gonna get caught, I think.”


Riku’s pout deepens. Unfortunately Sion is right about that, as dinner calls and also at this rate they’re gonna get seen in the open like this. “Okay, fine,” he relents, squeezing Sion’s hand as he steps outside and shuts his door behind them. “But later…?”


Sion’s ears are still red. But he nods. “Later.”


So into town they walk. Riku was kind of surprised that Sion planned on making the trek all the way to his apartment just to pick him up, as Riku lives more on the outskirts of the community, but he supposes the walk isn’t too terrible for someone like Sion. After all, the man likes being on the move. It’s just a little funny in how obvious he is; even as they walk side by side down the road Sion is fidgeting a little bit. They can’t hold hands but they linger a smidge closer together than most male friends would. Even just the proximity is nice.


“Are you taking me somewhere fancy, Sion-san?” Riku asks. He’s mostly joking. Their idea of fancy around these parts is nothing like it would be, say… well. Anywhere else, basically. 


“I wish I could. Megumi refuses to sleep until I get home, so I can’t really-” Sion huffs out a little smile. “We can go into the city another time. During the day, maybe. And I can take you someplace that’s actually nice…” Sion’s fingers brush against Riku’s for just a second before he’s pulling away. 


Riku isn’t surprised. He knows Megumi keeps Sion on a tight schedule and he hadn’t even considered the thought of going into the main part of Kyoto for a date. There’s probably a lot more to do there, too, at least in the way of food. Plus they’re unlikely to run into people who know them. And that is a very enticing thought. There’d be less eyes on them, less scrutiny in public, plus this time of year the city is packed with tourists and neverending crowds…


Hm. Maybe Riku should start brainstorming more so Sion isn’t doing all the work on their dates. Or hey, maybe that’s the appeal of their relationship, huh? Sion is experienced; he’s been married; he knows how to woo someone.


And, well. Riku is very much enjoying being wooed. 


So:


“I’m not hard to please,” Riku says, which is actually kind of a lie. But regardless, Sion has a habit of finding ways to keep him easily satisfied, so he’s not really worried. “I’ll be happy as long as we’re not eating at the convenience store. I know you love their food, but-”


“Hey, that’s not true,” Sion laughs. “It’s my kid, okay? Not me. And I think you’ll be okay with where we’re going.” Wow, Sion is so touchy. He reaches out to rest his hand very briefly, again, over Riku’s nape. He squeezes twice before letting go. He really never strays that far…


Riku’s only a little suspicious: “Are we going to Takeda’s? Or Kirishima’s?”


He figures they’re headed somewhere like that because there aren’t very many choices in the town besides, like, three restaurants. But for some reason Sion laughs and this time it sounds slightly more nervous. “Um. No, actually, we’re going to the ryokan…”


And, well. Huh. Riku blinks, mildly surprised because men don’t often take you to their place of employment on a first date. He has to digest that for a second and then he’s just confused.


Riku turns to Sion, his voice sounding almost concerned: “We’re going to the ryokan?”


To be honest, Riku doesn’t know how he feels about that. The idea is very romantic, sure, but maybe more for foreign tourists who want to try on yukatas or prance around like they’re experiencing the pinnacle of Japanese culture. But Riku grew up in a very stereotypically traditional Japanese town and Sion literally works there, so, like… you know…


It’s just a little curious is all. And slightly disappointing. Just a little bit. 


“I thought it’d be nice. They’ve got this kaiseki meal I thought you’d like,” Sion scratches at his neck and sends him a very, very apologetic look. “Sorry. Is that lame? I’ve never tried it before. I don’t really know much about, like… Japanese stuff…”


Ohhh. Well, that makes a lot more sense. Kaiseki meals are nice date material and they’re a lot less strange than… hanging out at one’s place of work, for example. Riku is a lot less weirded out knowing that. “You’ve really never tried it?” He asks Sion, mostly curious. “Even though you work there?”


Sion shakes his head. “No, normally Yushi and I just eat stuff from the convenience store. But I’m friends with the chef and you said you like more traditional foods, so…” His voice trails off and Sion looks away, his ears pink.


Wow. Oh, wow. So that’s the reason? Riku is- he feels guilty for being disappointed because he should’ve known that Sion would put this much thought into their first date rather than just take him to one of the random eating spots in town. Going to the ryokan is unconventional, sure, but to tell you the truth Riku’s never had a real kaiseki meal either. Or at least not a traditional one. So for both them, that’s-


“That sounds fun,” Riku smiles. He reaches out to squeeze Sion’s arm, apologetic, and just so he can save face, he decides to tease: “But you just wanted to see me in a yukata, didn’t you?” Riku grins when that makes Sion sputter. It helps him cope with the embarrassment. 


“I did not,” Sion huffs, his voice surprisingly petulant. “I’m not gonna-” He looks down at the ground and pouts a little. “I don’t have ulterior motives, you know.”


Riku’s smile softens and he grabs Sion’s hand this time, feeling a little too fond. For someone who prefers teasing over genuinely talking about himself, Sion can be awfully honest. “Of course you don’t, you’re a terrible liar,” Riku squeezes his hand. “And I’m not wearing a yukata on the first date.”


He’s joking about that but Sion huffs again, a little exasperated, though he tangles their fingers together as they enter a long stretch of the road where no one is lingering about. “I wasn’t expecting you to, seriously…”


Riku has to hold back his laugh. He can’t help but tease even more; Sion’s reactions are just so funny because no one else in his life takes his joking so seriously. Riku presses in closer and drawls his voice out: “Really? ‘Cause I could’ve sworn-”


“Riku, really, do you think I’m some kind of pervert?” Sion complains loudly, which only makes Riku laugh more. “Do you normally just go around dating men who want to see you in things, seriously-”


“Okay, I’m sorry!” Riku laughs, clinging onto his arm as Sion stomps off. “I’ll stop! You’re just being cute-!”


At least the ryokan is closer to Riku’s apartment than the town center is, so they don’t have to walk nearly as far as he thought they would. The building is as old and beautiful as ever; Sion guides him up the front slope and in through the front entrance with practiced ease. The doors creak open. Riku’s impressed by the well-kept wooden interior. So this is what the inside of this place looks like…


Sion, of course, isn’t so taken with the architecture of the building he spends everyday in. He smiles something good natured to the girl behind the counter, who recognizes him immediately. Sion asks her: “Hey, Yui. Do you know if Satoshi’s ready for us?”


Riku turns back to attention only to see that the girl sends an incredibly loaded look his way. It’s an up and down, one he doesn’t really understand the intent behind. But then she turns, smiles at Sion, and says: “He is, Sion-kun.”


Oh. Oh, okay. The way this Yui girl says Sion’s name is very, very intense. Anyone would instantly be able to tell that she’s got a thing for him. Riku isn’t exactly miffed but he’s a little bothered when she sends him another Look, which means… well. He has no idea what that’s about, actually. And yet Sion only smiles and bows his head. 


“Thank you.”


Riku follows along as Sion turns down an adjacent hallway. He sends a weary glance back at Yui - who’s still staring him down, what the fuck - but he’s brought back into the present when Sion’s fingers circle his wrist and pull him in closer.


“Sion-san, is she-” Riku almost says something very stupid as he’s manhandled into Sion’s side. He’s not a jealous person - genuinely, he’s not - but when someone is vying after your boyfriend so blatantly it’s hard not to comment on it. Plus they’re coworkers, aren’t they? Which means she-


“Yeah, I know. She has a thing for me. And I’ve turned her down already.” Sion’s smile is a little exasperated. “She asked twice, actually. Haha…”


And, well. Now Riku’s a little upset. He’s indignant on Sion’s behalf more than anything because that’s just ridiculous. “She’s still trying? Even though you said no?!”


It’s funny. Sion is probably as neurotic as a person can get and yet when Riku riles himself up, he only smiles. “She is.”


“But that’s-” Riku lets himself be pulled along even though he’s feeling personally offended by Sion having to what, fight off suitors at work? “She shouldn’t-” 


It doesn’t matter what he has to say, though, because at the split of the hallway, Riku’s being yanked around a corner before he can even think to nag at his boyfriend about derailing anyone who chases after him. “Come here,” Sion says, no room for argument in his voice. 


Riku is very easily backed up against a wall and that’s- woah, Sion’s strong. For a second he is very dazed and his mind goes through a rapid pattern of protect your boyfriend from the enemy and wow, boyfriend has big muscles and manhandling is good and let’s ask for more of this and how strong can he get? And-


“Um.” Riku’s mind goes completely blank as Sion crowds against him and dips down to give him a kiss, just one. In public? The hallways around them are empty, but still, Riku’s voice comes out tiny. “Sion-san, h-here?”


“Yeah, here. You’re so-” Sion chuckles a little. “I couldn’t tell her that I already have a boyfriend, Riku, and I wish I could…” Slowly, he leans down to kiss him again. And then again. And again. Sion’s voice is a very low murmur: “But you know, I’m only interested in you.”


Oh, wow. That’s so- Riku’s aware of his red ears. He is. But Sion kisses him so gently and he wants a little more, all thoughts of Yui forgotten. Riku doesn’t let his boyfriend pull away just yet. “Only me?” His voice is dazed as he tugs Sion into another kiss.


Sion’s hand finds his waist. He squeezes. “Of course. You’re…” Sion pulls away just a hair as he smiles. “You’re gorgeous, Riku.”


And, well. Riku wasn’t doubtful to begin with but it’s hard not to be swayed when your handsome boyfriend praises you in such an affectionate voice. Riku averts his eyes as Sion backs off of him, just enough to put a respectable distance between them. 


“Well,” Riku mumbles, suddenly very embarrassed. “If that’s how you feel…”


He doesn’t look at Sion but he knows he’s smiling. “Are you jealous?”


That’s a good question. Riku doesn’t normally get jealous in relationships. And he doesn’t feel particularly perturbed now, more bothered that Sion’s being hounded down by someone he’s already rejected. So he shakes his head. “I’m not. You’re just…” Riku squeezes Sion’s hand. “You’re too nice to people.”


Sion chuckles. “That’s not true.” Riku glances up at him when he says that. Sion raises his eyebrows. “What? I’m not.”


Riku can only shake his head, feeling very exasperated. “Now, that’s why people get the wrong impression. You’re being extra nice and you don’t even realize.” He pulls Sion’s hand as he- he starts moving even though he doesn’t know where he’s going. “You have to stop being so doting to everyone and maybe they’ll-”


“Wrong way, sweetheart,” Sion laughs. He pulls Riku back. “Over here.”


Riku’s face is red. “Okay. But you get it, right, you’re so sweet. Everyone is gonna get the wrong idea when a handsome guy like you acts too nice…”


Sion’s ears are pink, too. His laugh is a little embarrassed this time. “Now you sound jealous.”


He’s incorrigible, isn’t he. Riku hadn’t realized this would be a side effect of his boyfriend not realizing just how good of a man he is - Oh Sion is functionally a woman-magnet because his only bad quality is that he’s too humble. But now he- ugh. Ugh. This is gonna be a Thing, isn’t it. Riku isn’t prone to jealousy but if he has to act like he is because that’s the only way Sion will realize how much of a catch he is, then sobeit. He has no qualms about causing a little drama every now and again. 


“I’m not jealous,” Riku tugs on his arm. “But I can be if people are confessing to you left and right. You’re too nice to them and they’re gonna think-”


“Okay, okay.” Sion sighs. He really thinks Riku’s being serious and that’s the funny part. “I’ll only be nice to you, then. Deal?”


And, well. Maybe it wouldn’t be awful to play the jealousy up a bit if this is the kind of reaction Riku gets, huh? This will be a very useful tool in his scheme to help his boyfriend think nicely of himself. Sion doesn’t even know half the women in this town desperately want him and Riku’s gonna make sure he figures it out one way or another.


So Riku grins and squeezes Sion’s hand. “You have a deal. Don’t be nice to anyone else or else I’m gonna be mad.”


He’s not even being serious, but Sion sighs and he sounds really, really exasperated. “I’ll try my best, honey…”


And, well. Riku lets him think what he wants to think. All the better for his plans, right?


Luckily they both drop the subject after that - Sion seems to be relieved that Riku doesn’t bother him about the Yui thing and Riku quietly filters all of this information away for later - and it doesn’t take much navigating to get to the dining room anyway. It’s a nice place, well-upkept with shoji panel walls and tatami floors. They also seem to have the room to themselves. There’s one low table set up and waiting for them. 


Riku follows after Sion, who sits down at the table with his legs crossed and beckons Riku to sit down across from him. He’s acting… Sion’s being surprisingly nonchalant. Riku can’t help but feel a little suspicious about this whole thing. 


“Don’t tell me you asked Tokuno-san to reserve the whole room for us.” Riku is in a tad bit of disbelief. Sure, Sion works here, but it’s still- it still seems crazy to him. No one has put this much thought into a date for him before, but if Sion really went the extra mile, his standards are gonna start rising exponentially…


“What’s wrong with that?” Sion smiles a little as he pours Riku some tea from the pot already sitting on the table. “I thought it’d be nice. Also Yuu-chan was adamant. So I didn’t have a choice, actually…”


Riku blinks, confused by that revelation. Though out of habit he bows his head when Sion passes his cup over. Riku takes it in two hands and sends him a weary look. “What do you mean?”


Sion’s cheeks are a little pink but he’s still smiling. “Yushi is a really big fan of you. He says you’re a good influence on me…” Sion bows his head when he takes a sip of tea, though it seems to be more because he’s embarrassed. “So he said I had to wow you. He was the one who offered up the dining room.”


That’s- that’s very surprising news. Riku can’t help his smile. “Really? Tokuno-san likes me?” Maybe it shouldn’t be that shocking - he and Yushi definitely seem to have a shared agenda to look after Sion based off of the things he’s said - but still, Yushi is a difficult guy to read. Or at least Riku hasn’t tried too hard to figure him out yet. It’s a little intimidating to approach Yushi right off the bat because he tends to look at you like he’s watching you very closely. And it’s… it’s hard to ignore that, to be honest. He will really get you with all the staring... 


“Well, yeah. Yushi likes that you tell me to stop being mean to myself,” Sion’s voice is tiny and embarrassed. “And he thinks you’re good with Megumi, which is kind of the most important thing to both of us, so.”


Riku is surprisingly touched. Of course he was envious of Sion and Yushi’s bond a few months ago, but it’s clear after weeks and weeks of growing closer that Yushi is the most important friend Sion’s ever had. They grew up together; they do basically everything together. Yushi is the reason Sion ended up in Japan to begin with. Apparently he even pays Sion twice the salary he normally would. The ryokan’s the most lucrative business in town so that’s not surprising, but Tokuno Yushi is a pillar to everyone in this community. And for someone that important to Sion to also like him…


Riku blushes something fierce. “Oh. Wow, okay…” He doesn’t even know what to say. He’s happy. He had no idea Yushi thought of him so highly!


“Sorry. I didn’t mean to- um.” Sion scratches at his jaw. “I don’t know if that’s too much pressure. I know Yushi is a little intimidating.” And, well, that is a severe understatement. “But he’s just really shy, I promise.”


“It’s okay. I figured.” Riku says it because it’s true. Then he grins, feeling very proud of himself all of a sudden. “And, well, if he’s why my boyfriend can take me on fancy dates…!”


Sion sighs a little, though his smile is still fond. “I wouldn’t really call this fancy.” He reaches across the table for Riku’s hand. “But I hope you still like it…”


It doesn’t even matter that Sion attempts again to downplay himself; Riku’s giddy anyway. “Well, I love it.”


It’s nice that they’re set up to be alone, though, because now the two of them can finally have some real privacy. Sion’s even taking on the role of server so there’s no chance of anyone walking in on them. Riku wonders how that paints their relationship as something platonic to Sion’s coworkers because surely it just doesn’t. But he’s not gonna worry about that right now. The two of them hold hands over the table until Sion gets a text on his phone. It must be from the chef. 


“That’s the sakizuke.” Sion gets up on wobbly legs. “And don’t move. I’m getting it.”


Riku blinks. “Are you sure? Because I can-”


“No, stay there.” Sion uses his Dad Voice again, and Riku is a little ashamed by how quickly he’s quelled by it. “Be good. I’ll be right back.”


Riku turns pink. He’s ninety percent sure that Sion doesn’t even realize he says the ‘be good’ thing as much as he does, but even still, he listens. Riku bows his head as Sion runs a hand over his hair. “Okay…”


You can hear the smile in Sion’s voice. “Good boy.” Ugh. He’s so annoying.


Sion goes off to retrieve their food from the kitchen and it takes a minute for him to get everything together, a minute in which Riku just stares down at his hands and waits. But then Sion returns and he’s actually very careful with the plate of food in his hands. Riku’s curious as Sion sets the first dish down on the table and gives him a shaky rundown as he settles back down on his side of the table.


“Let’s see if I can remember what Satoshi said. That’s grilled eel, that’s a pickled garlic shoot, that’s dashi jelly, that’s… um.” Sion blanks. “Sorry. I forgot.”


Riku smiles. “It’s okay. It looks good.” He picks up his chopsticks and immediately brings one of the pieces of grilled eel to Sion’s lips. “Say ‘ahhh.’”


Sion flushes. “Here?”


“Yes,” Riku says, dead-serious. “You can do me next.”


It’s nice. The whole meal is very nice. Sion ends up hustling back and forth a decent bit considering that a traditional kaiseki meal is eight courses long, but Riku is honestly just grateful for the privacy. He can dote all he wants this way, like wipe sauce off of Sion’s lips or hold his hand or play footsies under the table. That’s the part he has the most fun with. Sion has ticklish feet, apparently.


“Don’t- stop doing that,” Sion scolds a little as he eats some of his sashimi. He sends Riku a look. “Baby, don’t torment me.”


Riku smiles. He loves how Sion showers him with the usual petnames, especially now that they’re alone. “I’m not doing anything.” That’s a lie.


Sion levels him with a sterner look, this time something that makes a surprised, pleased tingle run up Riku’s spine. “Kitty, not now.” Sion reaches under the table and his fingers curl around Riku’s ankle. “Or else I’m gonna keep you here like this. Okay?”


And Riku is… he’s not, like, turned on. No way. Because Sion’s using his Dad Voice and Riku can’t be setting that precedent for himself because that would be evil and extremely, extremely perverted. But Riku also would listen to anything Sion told him to in that voice. He just would. 


So Riku nods. “Okay...”


Terribly enough, his easy obedience makes Sion smile. He squeezes his ankle. “Good boy.” The praise comes without second thought, so surely there’s no way he- Sion turns back to his food, completely oblivious to what he’s even doing. “So. Do you like it?”


Riku blinks very slowly, his mind a little dazed. “What?”


Sion squeezes his ankle again. He laughs. “The food? Do you like it?”


Wow. So Sion doesn’t even realize. That’s so fucking evil. Riku stares down at the ayu on his plate. A part of him wants to call Sion out on it, this authoritative little tone he takes on, but he actually doesn’t want Sion to even realize he has this whole… this dommy thing. That’s the embarrassing part. Riku’s not gonna say anything because he doesn’t want Sion to stop…


And that is slightly deranged of him, yeah. But Riku likes it, Sion’s gentle authority, and a little indulgence never hurt anyone, right?


So:


“It’s good.” Riku starts making his way through his sashimi and ignores the way Sion raises an eyebrow at his stilted reaction. “You were right, I like the- the light stuff. Ryo-chan calls me lame but simplicity is best, haha…”


Sion blinks only once. But then he smiles. “I don’t know if I agree with that. But to each their own.”


The conversation throughout dinner is nice, though. Even when they inevitably have to talk about very un-romantic things. “You’re still sure you’re willing to babysit?” Sion asks as he sets the nabe on the table’s burner. He turns it on and they can do nothing but wait in the meantime. “I talked to Sachiko. She just wants to meet up with you so we can iron some things out. But I’m sure you’d rather relax on your vacation rather than watch our kids…”


“Eh, it’s fine,” Riku shrugs, because it is. “To be honest, I get a little bored over break. And Maku and Megumi are a lot easier than the others.”


Sion doesn’t look so easily convinced, though. “Maku, sure. But Megumi…?” It’s funny how he always acts like Megumi is some habitual troublemaker when normally she spends her school day quietly entertaining herself. She may cause chaos for Sion at home, but Megumi is a literal angel whenever she’s under Riku’s care.


So, as usual, Riku waves him off. “No, no, she’s good in school. With other kids, maybe not, but she’s diligent at her schoolwork. That’s not common at her age.” Riku takes a sip of tea. “Besides, right now I’m taking a class on handling autistic students and it’d be good to put some things into practice…”


Sion blinks at him, his expression almost absurdly surprised. “You are?”


His shock is funny, too. Sion really doesn’t realize just how much everyone cares for his kid. So Riku grins. “Yup. That’s how I got the workbooks I was telling you about. I wasn’t gonna get all- all in your business. But if she and I are gonna be hanging out anyway, it’d be good to work on some stuff…”


Riku watches Sion look back at him. As usual, Sion just, like, stares. Riku would be more self conscious but Sion always gets like this whenever someone does anything remotely thoughtful in his direction. Riku takes another sip of tea and waits for his boyfriend to catch up with him. It usually just takes a moment… especially when it comes to things that involve Megumi…


And so, after a few long seconds:


“Wait, you’d- really? For Megumi?” Sion looks flabbergasted. Wow. He really still struggles with this stuff, huh. 


“I told you I would. If the teachers and I are gonna tiptoe around Suzuki-san, I need to make sure Megumi can- there’s no good way to word this.” Riku levels him with an honest look. “I need to make sure that she’s competent in the classroom, I guess? Er, well. You know what I mean when I say that.”


Sion blinks again. His look of shock fades but he still needs another second to process that. “Oh, so you’re helping her… it’s so she fits in?”


Riku shakes his head. “No, that’s- I don’t know if that’s really the goal here.” He sets his tea down. “But Megumi needs some accommodations. I have to make sure that they’re things that every teacher in our school can reasonably do for her.” Riku explains his plan as best he can, though even he isn’t sure how effective he will be in helping a kid like Megumi. “So when she has a meltdown, right, there needs to be some failsafes. I have to make sure Megumi can communicate her needs. Or if she can’t do that, then at least she needs a way to cope without the classroom having to stop for her. That way the admin won’t have any reason to step in…”


Riku’s not sure if he’s wording any of this properly. But Sion, very slowly, nods. “Right. So- so the- the coping skills.” He runs a hand through his hair. “And you’re… you’re really gonna commit to helping her?”


Sion says the word “commit” in a very dubious voice. Riku would be offended by his own boyfriend doubting him if it weren’t for the fact that Sion is dubious of literally everyone. So Riku just smiles, hoping it doesn’t come off as too overeager. 


“If you let me,” Riku says. “Even if we’re dating, I’m not gonna…” He tries to find the right words. “I won’t barge into your life with her, Sion-san. Not if you don’t want me to.”


Riku means every word that he says. Sion nods even more slowly, though he still looks a little dumbfounded. Riku would find it funny if he weren’t aware that it’s just because Sion is an idiot who can’t believe it when people want to help him out. But Sion’s voice is low as he says, very slowly, “So in the long term, you’d want to…?”


Riku reaches across the table. He squeezes Sion’s hand. “I plan on dating you. And… and helping Megumi. If you want me to.”


He says it gently so as to not scare Sion away, who looks down at their hands. He shifts to lace their fingers together. Sion’s voice is low, maybe even reverent. “Okay. That’s…” He blinks, hard. “Yeah, we should talk about that. But later.”


As usual, Sion’s so awkward at these things. Riku squeezes his hand again. “Later?” His smile is a little wry, slightly exasperated. “Sion-san, don’t take me on a date and try to convince me you’re bad for me. Please?”


Sion flushes a little bit. At least he’s self aware. “It’s not that,” he says. “I’m not gonna- unless you want to.” Of course there’s the offer, though, because he’s relentless. Sion's thumb eases over Riku’s knuckles. “I just don’t want to talk about sad stuff right now. But before I take you home… if we- if we’re making things official…”



“We are,” Riku tells him in a wry voice. But Sion’s smile is meek and he scratches at his cheek.


“I’m just saying, you know… just in case…”


As always, Sion’s giving him an out. Riku’s not quite sure what to tell him; he’s not quite sure what Sion means by talking about “sad stuff.” It is… is it something about Megumi’s mom? That’s really the only topic they’ve never breached before and the closer they become, the more it feels like an inevitability. 


So Riku squeezes Sion’s hand. “Okay.” He can accept that that will come when it comes. But in the meantime Sion’s expression is very morose and that wasn’t really Riku’s intention here; he plays with Sion’s fingers and his boyfriend hardly gives him any reaction at all. 


Riku tries not to frown. Pay attention to me, idiot, stop moping on our date…


Ugh. He should reset the mood. How does he do that? Riku doesn’t know, so he thinks. And thinks. It takes a minute because Sion’s staring down at their joined hands with a tiny, bitter look and Riku should- he needs to make him laugh or something silly, you know, as a distraction. So he thinks some more and then inspiration strikes, because of course. Of course!


Almost automatically, Riku kicks a little under the table. It’s only hard and pointed enough to-


Bingo. “What’d I tell you!” Sion jumps.


“Sorry, it’s funny,” Riku grins because it is. And also the incredulous look on Sion’s face is much more fond than it is sad. That’s exactly what he was aiming for. But when Sion rises to his feet, Riku pales: “Or. Um. Maybe not?”


“Oi, I told you to listen.” Riku’s a little scared for his life when Sion moves around the table. He’s using his Dad Voice. “How many times do I have to-”


Riku cowers on instinct, though he’s laughing a little when Sion kneels down to wrestle him into his side. “Wait, I’m sorry, be nice to me-”


“You’re a troublemaker,” Sion grumbles. But Riku’s delighted because Sion only slings an arm around his shoulders and settles down next to him. “I’m staying here. To keep a better eye on you.” Sion’s arm falls to his waist; Riku melts easily into his side as he squeezes him in closer.


Riku can’t help his smile as the nabe starts bubbling and Sion reaches over to turn the burner off. “Well, I’m not complaining…”


“Of course you’re not,” Sion huffs. But he pulls Riku closer and keeps a firm hand on his waist. “Don’t move.”


Riku leans into Sion’s chest. He can’t help his grin. “Okay.”


(Now he knows how to get Sion’s attention, huh? Being a brat is really the answer to so many things…)


Unfortunately there are only a few courses left in what very well may be the best meal of both of their lives. Sion only leaves one more time to bring out the rest of the food at once - he’s trying to save on trips to the kitchen and also being surprisingly strict about the whole Riku sitting-still-and-behaving thing. Which seems a little hypocritical but whatever. It’s mostly just funny that Sion’s stricter with Riku than he is with his own kid. Riku leans his head back on his boyfriend’s shoulder as he pushes the dessert plate in front of him.


“Jellies,” Sion points out. “Your favorite, right?”


Riku can’t really swoon while he’s basically in Sion’s lap, but he still grins. “Yup.” His fingers circle Sion’s wrist. “Remember, you have to feed me.”


Sion sighs a little. “You really want the strangest things…” And yet he still obliges, of course, because he always does. 


It’s wonderful. Sion brings each cube of jelly to his lips without complaint and he hardly gives a reaction when Riku’s lips drag over his fingers. Riku smiles as a jelly pops into his mouth. “Thank you, Sion-san.” Then he beckons his boyfriend for another. Riku has no qualms about being greedy when his boyfriend’s willing to hand feed him jellies of all things. 


Sion only blinks, his ears red. “...You’re misbehaving again.”


And well, Riku agreed not to push. So he doesn’t. He only cranes up to Sion’s mouth with a grin, ignoring the complaint entirely because Sion seems to like him a little teasing and demanding no matter how much he complains. “Kiss?”


Sion relents, though his hand once again squeezes Riku’s hip. “Just this once.” But then he squeezes again; he kisses him again. And again and again and again. 


Wow, Sion is really so fun to play with...


The fun can’t last forever though - once they’re done eating they need to get going because Yushi could only give them a very small window of time to keep the room to themselves. The ryokan is still a business, after all. So Riku sits there obediently while Sion returns the dishes to the kitchen. And then, when Sion offers a hand to bring him to his feet, Riku takes it. He’s led out of the room by hand. Sion’s on the move yet again. 


“Do you have any more plans for me?” Riku asks innocently as Sion leads him down the hallway. “I don’t want to take up too much of your time if Gumi is waiting for you…” 


“It’s only seven. She’ll survive.” Sion seems nonplussed about that, which is… actually, maybe that’s not surprising at all. He rests an arm across Riku’s shoulders and squeezes him in close. “Why? Are you trying to get away from me?”


“I’m not,” Riku complains a little as Sion squeezes him again, again, again. “I just- I’m trying to be mindful!”


“It’s not your job to be mindful. This is my break from parenting, too,” Sion presses a kiss to his cheek because the hallway around them is devoid of people. “Hm? I’m spending as much time with you as I can.”


Riku goes a little pink but he still smiles when Sion kisses him on the forehead next. “Okay, okay, I’ll mind my business…” Then they reach the front lobby of the ryokan, so Riku puts a good foot of space between them while Sion sends a nod Yui’s way.


“Have a good shift, Yui.” Sion doesn’t let Riku step too far out of reach, though; a hand circles his wrist and squeezes. 


Yui sends him a smile that probably comes off as very friendly to most people, though her eyes lock in on where Sion is holding Riku firm. “Good night, Sion-kun!”


Riku blinks. Sion squeezes his wrist again as he nods once more. “See you.” And when Riku tries pulling away again, Sion brings him in closer. His voice lowers. “Why are you trying to get away? Focus on me, not her.”


Riku pouts a little. “I am…” Because, you know, he literally is. 


Sion grins. It’s so openly affectionate that Riku hopes that Yui thinks they’re drunk or something, or at least any reasonable excuse for two men to be so touchy. Because Sion is closeted and he should- “You’re not paying enough attention to me,” Sion complains anyway. There’s enough space between them for it to come off as platonic, albeit barely. Sion says to him: “Don’t get jealous, I’m right here.”


Riku’s a little shocked by the level of petulance. Because Sion isn’t- he’s not normally so frank about those things, wanting his attention or anything like that. “I’m not jealous,” Riku says faintly. “I’m just…” He searches for his words as they step out of the ryokan and back into the night air. Sion lets him go, though that’s because there are a few tourists milling about. “I’m just being cautious. Now she’s gonna think that we’re… you know.”


“She won’t,” Sion sighs, though he’s smiling a little bit. Then he sends Riku a glance. “Why, was I being too obvious? I didn’t think I was.”


Wow. He had no idea Sion would be like this. Riku should say they definitely were being too obvious because that’s like playing with fire in a tiny town like this, letting themselves be seen that close together. But curiosity piques at him because Riku always figured Sion would be pretty cautious with the… the queerness. He has no reason to be shameless or open with his affection, especially in a community where everyone is always watching their every move…


So Riku bites his lip and he admits: “I don’t know.”


Sion exhales. He doesn’t reach for him again, though he looks like he wants to. “Normally I wouldn’t be so… you know. But I kind of…” Sion smiles something a little sardonic and runs a hand down his face. “I want Yui to back off. But I don’t think having a kid makes people think I’d be with you. Because, you know, people kinda don’t consider… um. Bisexuality.”


And, well. That’s a very practical way of thinking about things, that’s for sure - Riku wouldn’t expect much else from someone like Sion. Instead he asks: “Have you dated a lot of guys?”


“A few.” This time Sion’s hands slip into his pockets. “I’m not usually this open about it. I grew up…” He laughs on an exhale. “I grew up aggressively Catholic.”


Riku blinks. “Oh.” And, well. Well, that explains pretty much everything that Sion has going on, doesn’t it? His whole… the shame thing. And the guilt, because holy shit, you'd have to be blind to not clock it. Riku only trails a bit after him, thinking and thinking and thinking. He heard some Koreans were ultra-religious but he never thought that Sion grew up like that. Riku’s not sure what to ask, or at least what he’s allowed to. “So that’s why you’re all…” Wow, he definitely isn’t gonna word this correctly.


Sion’s smile is bitter though he doesn’t seem offended. “Is that why I’m repressed? Yeah.” He waits for Riku to catch up to him and he levels out a small exhale as their gaits level out. “My parents were really strict. I went to Catholic school. It was shoved down my throat a lot.”


Riku blinks again. He doesn’t know why he’s so surprised. He just assumed someone who grew up like that would be… not so receptive to being flirted with by their kids’ teacher, probably. “So you were super closeted,” Riku says slowly, even though that’s admittedly a given. “But now, you’re…?” He doesn’t know the delicate way to word this.


It’s just… this is news to him and Riku can’t help but be cautious. Maybe he should’ve asked about this first, before they ever started dating, because the whole identity-presentation thing is a particularly sore subject for him. Riku’s not proud to say it but he has a history of entangling himself with men who were the aggressive kind of closeted, ones who’d drop him for the first girl they saw because dating women was a better cover than having a suspiciously close friendship with another guy. There were a few times Riku would realize after the fact he was only the side piece, or worse, that the guy was married or already in a long term relationship. It’s not uncommon in gay circles, especially with older men. Riku is used to feeling those kinds of things out. But with Sion, it’s… he doesn’t seem to be that kind of person, does he? Though Riku could be wrong. He’s been wrong many, many times before. 


Something in his stomach tumbles over. Riku hadn’t even considered if Sion would prefer presenting as straight, too, regardless of his feelings. Especially if he grew up in that kind of environment. But while dread climbs up his insides, Sion’s hand reaches out to squeeze his.


Riku blinks. Sion’s touch is still as gentle and affectionate as ever. That’s the thing he’s stuck on.


“Maybe ten years ago I would’ve been more scared, but it’s different now. I was supposed to marry a woman and have kids. But then she divorced me and my kid is autistic. So I don’t have as much to worry about.” Sion sends Riku a sideways glance; maybe he thinks that’s relieving to hear but it’s not, not really. “I mean, I’m thirty-four. I was worse about it when I was twenty. And I’m not twenty anymore.” 


Their fingers tangle together. Something in Riku’s chest squeezes and he’s not sure what it is - should he be glad? Or should he be scared? Should he be afraid that Sion is another man who would abandon him at the first chance he has to cosplay heteronormativity? Riku licks his lips because his mouth has gone dry. “You were worse? About what, being-?” He’s scared of the answer but he asks anyway. 


“I was worse about being closeted. But that was a long time ago,” Sion’s gaze meets his and at least he looks like he means every word. “That was in college, before Megumi. I was as bad as it got. But in Seoul there’s this place called Itaewon. And if you know where to go…”


Riku nods, the motion automatic. “Well. It’s the same in Tokyo.”


Sion’s hand squeezes his. “Yeah. So it’s been a while. But I’m not all-” He slows to a stop in the middle of the street. There are no nearby streetlamps but Riku can see Sion’s eyes staring right at him in the dark. “I’m not repressed about you, you know. I’m not ashamed or anything. I haven’t even given it much thought since my divorce because I don’t… there’s nothing for me to hide behind anymore.”


Riku blinks. Oh. Oh, well, that is… that makes sense. He can feel himself relax though he didn’t even know he was tense to begin with. Riku isn’t usually so easily convinced by these things but Sion’s never shown any of the internalized homophobia that Riku’s used to dealing with in other men - he’s a single dad in a foreign country. There are no churches to be afraid of. Sion has already… he’s already played the act. 


But still, a part of him still finds it a little hard to believe. Is Sion- is he not ashamed of Riku like the others were? Wouldn’t it be so much easier to date a woman he could marry and have more kids with? Riku doesn’t know what to say. If Sion isn’t resentful of him, that would be… it’d be new. This would be one of the first times Riku’s dated someone who wasn’t ashamed of him on principle and he’s just not used to it.


For several seconds Riku is disappointed in himself for fearing for the worst even though he has every reason to always be afraid of the worst. But when Sion squeezes his hand again, he shakes the feeling off and tells him honestly: “It’s okay. I’ve done a lot worse. Like guys I didn’t know were married…”


Sion’s stare turns harder. And then, his voice flat: “Riku, there’s no way.”


“I-I didn’t know!” Riku defends himself. Because he didn’t. Though there is relief flooding into his veins because Sion’s face is free of judgement and unlike all those other men, he isn’t harboring any kind of resentment about it. “I was young and impressionable. I like women, too, but it’s all- I have a bit of an age preference.” He ignores Sion’s grip tightening over that even as his voice shrinks.


Riku isn’t sure why he thought that would come to Sion as a surprise. His boyfriend’s chuckle is more amused than anything. “Baby, did you think I didn't already know that? 


And that is- that’s not fair. Riku’s ears are burning but he sends Sion a Look. “You can’t talk, Oji-san.”


He meant for it to be teasing, if not very embarrassed on his part. And it is. But Sion’s smile is unrelenting, which is kind of crazy, because he’s normally so cagey about the age thing. He only smiles. “Yeah,” Sion says. “But Oji-sans are your type, aren’t they?”


Riku has to look away. “They’re not.”


They walk into town, keeping their hands to themselves when the streetlamps become more frequent. They talk, mostly. They talk about gay things. Sion has more experience with women but he doesn’t exactly give the impression that the religious indoctrination worked all that well on him, and Riku is- he’s so fucking relieved about that. “I mean, I prayed the gay away for a while. But it didn’t work, plus I went to an all boys school,” Sion says flatly. “At a point it starts getting hypocritical.”


Riku resists the urge to reach for his hand. “But your parents are intense about it? And they’d… you’d never come out to them, right?”


He asks even though he won’t like the answer. It’s not like Riku would go around coming out to his own family, either, but he’s used to being a secret and for some reason the idea of him being part of Sion’s shame just… it hurts his feelings. But again, shouldn’t he be used to it? It’s not like he ever expects another guy to bring him home on his arm or anything…


Sion’s smile is a little grim. “Ah, they’re really intense. Not so much now, but, it was-” Sion runs a hand through his hair. “When I was in high school I’d have to go into confession. Which is where you, like, confess your sins to the priest and he tells you to pray about it. And I’d make up some bullshit because I would’ve gotten my ass beat if they knew what I had to hide. It’s always been like that, even until…” Sion lets out a long, long sigh. “I didn’t want to raise Megumi in Mokpo, to tell you the truth.” 


Riku nods. That makes sense. He doesn’t think he’d want to raise a family in his hometown, either, but the religious part of it is probably worse for Sion. Riku’s hands wring together. “Yeah, probably not.”


“Imagine her in Catholic school,” Sion chuckles. “God, she takes after me. She’d be so unruly. I’d never put her through that…” His voice is very contemplative. But when they turn onto a quieter street, Sion’s pulling Riku in by the shoulder almost immediately. His tone turns low, fond. “I feel like I’m better off here with you.”


Riku blinks. He doesn’t know why he’s so surprised but Sion’s tone shifts so fast the second they’re hidden in the shadows. And Riku fits so easily into his side. He can’t help but feel a little admonished: “Really?”


“That’s how I feel, yeah,” Sion presses his forehead to Riku’s temple. “I don’t plan on ever going back unless I have to. I don’t-” He smiles something tired. “I can pretend if I need to. But I’m not doing it again, the comphet bullshit. I already wasted my twenties trying to hide.”


Riku relaxes into Sion’s arms. He shouldn’t be so easily reassured but it’s hard not to be when Sion is- he’s different from most people who are repressed about their sexuality. He’s more jaded. He’s already lived the experience of a straight man, that’s the difference. Riku looks down at the ground. “So, with me, you aren’t…” He doesn’t know why he feels so embarrassed about needing to feel reassured. Isn’t this a given?


But he’s had his heart broken enough times by the same bullshit. Sion is different - he’s always been different - but there is something so terrifying about dating someone whose entire life would be better off if he were with a woman instead. 


And yet:


“I’m not interested in selling the fantasy anymore, Riku,” Sion tells him. He tugs him to a stop and squeezes him in closer, lowering his head down so they can be eye-to-eye. “Being a divorcee in a Catholic family is a lot like being the gay one. And I’m both. So you do the math.”


And, well. He’s got a point there. Somehow Sion’s always so rational about the things that are hard to digest and Riku doesn’t know why, but that makes him smile a little. He snakes his arms around Sion’s waist and presses him into a hug. He exhales. “Okay. And you’re not secretly married, right, or-”


“If I choose anyone over you, you can just kill me,” Sion squeezes him back. “I’m serious. You’re perfect.” Lips press to Riku’s forehead.


Riku grins into Sion’s shoulder. “I dunno about that.” For some reason it feels so embarrassing to hear the praise now.


But Sion just cradles him by the nape. “It’s true. I don’t want anyone else. I may not be really open like you are, but it’s not because I’m…” Sion sighs a very small sigh. “Sometimes I get in my head. But more than that, I really like you.”


Wow. Wow, for someone who is so repressed - and is aware of it, too - Sion is sure good at comforting people. Even though he can be really mean to himself, there’s still this unflinchingly rational edge to everything he says. Riku wouldn’t normally find that kind of thing very comforting but Sion is… he’s so dependable. He’s easy to like. Riku smiles as Sion brings him in close, close, close.


His voice comes out muffled. “I don’t want anyone else, either.” Riku digs his face into Sion’s neck. “You don’t have to be shameless, just keep liking me…”


Sion chuckles a little. You can tell he’s smiling from his tone alone. “I will, baby.”


Their walk ended up being kind of aimless but the talk was- it was nice. They separate when a set of headlights come down the road and Sion pulls Riku off to the side so they don’t get hit by a car on their first date, of all times and places. Riku leans into his shoulder as his boyfriend stares down at him. “You wanna get dessert?”


Riku blinks. That’s not where he thought this night would be going, especially after the conversation they just had. “We had dessert already,” Riku points out, though he goes easily when Sion steers him by the shoulders down the street. 


“Yeah, well, I want to treat you,” Sion insists. “Besides, I’ve gotta- we have more to talk about.” That’s vague but not unexpected. Not really. Riku supposes there’s more for Sion to tell him even beyond the gay stuff - Sion skirts around the traumatic parts of growing up Catholic with a laugh. It wasn’t hard to notice that. But there must be more to it, huh... 


So:


“Okay,” Riku agrees. His fingers pull at Sion’s hand. “Let’s go. The convenience store?”


Sion sends him a smile. It’s a very real, very genuine smile. “Yeah. Let’s go.”


It’s a short trip once they pass the playground, about a five minute walk. The fluorescent lights of 7/11 are a huge contrast to the subdued dusk outside. Riku follows Sion around the store. He has it memorized by heart, it seems. Sion stops by the ice cream and Riku reminds him: “You like cake.”


Sion laughs a little. “I do. Sorry, I just-” He smiles. “I wanna get something for Gumi but that’s a bad idea. Maybe tomorrow…” Wow, he really never stops thinking about her. 


“Tomorrow,” Riku echoes. “Let’s get you one of those disgusting chocolate things.”


There’s not much in the way of baked goods at their local conbini but Sion settles on a melon bread and a donut. Riku himself opts to just get a Melona bar. Simplicity is indeed the best. But Sion pays for the whole lot without any complaint and Riku is also ashamed to say that moves him greatly because he has extremely low standards. Though at this rate Sion might keep raising them…


“Thank you,” Riku murmurs as they leave the store and Sion passes his ice cream over to him. 


“You’re welcome,” he smiles. “Wanna sit at the park?”


They sit at their usual bench. That’s mostly because it’s hidden from the road and so they can freely cuddle, which is nice. Riku rests his head on Sion’s shoulder as he nibbles at his Melona bar. This flavor isn’t too sweet. It’s something nice to indulge in at this hour, while the moon is rising and the sky is slowly darkening…


“So, you know. Before things are too… um. Official, I guess? I need to tell you some things.” Riku likes that Sion at least gets straight to the point. Whenever he tries beating around the bush it gets annoying because he’s awful at pretending to be nonchalant.


“Okay,” Riku says simply. He sits up to look Sion in the eyes. “Like what?”


Sion unwraps his melon bun. His hands aren’t shaking, not like they usually are whenever he’s stressed, but he still heaves out a long sigh. “Well. Um… I guess there are the obvious things. Like how no matter what I do, Megumi comes first. And that includes…” Sion unwraps the bun and winces. “Us, too, I guess.”


Very slowly, Riku nods. A part of him is offended on principle. But he gets it. Most people are dating with a partnership in mind but Sion is dating with Megumi in mind. “Okay,” Riku says. “I figured.”


“Well, actually, I- um, I don’t think I worded that right.” Sion leans into his side and exhales a little. “Her happiness comes before everything. But you, too, you matter to me. So, it’s not like I’d just- it’s not like I’d dump you on the side of the road if she told me to.” Sion takes a tiny bite of the bun and tries to smile. “But if I had to choose-”


“Sion, that’s- I get it.” Riku tries to reassure him because there’s no pretty way of wording it, is there. “It’s okay. I’m not offended.”


But Sion isn’t so easily convinced. He makes a little frustrated noise. “But I mean- that’s not- I don’t mean that in, like, the terms of forever. It’s just… in the short term. You and Gumi are two separate decisions.” Sion pulls a face at his own words. “Or, well. In the long term… I can’t even think about that. But hypothetically speaking, you’d be- together, I’d both- I’d have both of you in mind. Do you get what I mean?” He looks away with pink ears.


Oh. Ohhh, okay, Riku sees what he’s getting at now. That makes him smile. “Ah, you’re a dad. You want me to marry into your family unit?” He’s half-teasing.


Sion makes a face. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe not. But it’s easier to think about it that way.” He takes another bite of his melon bun. “I guess what I mean is that you’re signing on for me, but you’re also agreeing to, um... prioritize her, too.”


See, that makes more sense. And it’s also nothing that Riku wasn’t mentally preparing himself for. His smile grows. “I know.” He switches his Melona bar into his left hand and his fingers skirt down Sion’s arm to curl into his palm. “In the short term, right? You’ll do what you need to do. But until we’re sure of… of more, I’m signed on for all of it. How’s that sound?”


Sion sends him a slightly skeptical look that Riku tries not to be miffed about. But then he nods, relenting. “...Yeah. That’s- that’s kind of the idea.” Sion’s smile is tiny, weary. “And while we’re at it, I don’t think I can ever have any more kids.”


Riku squeezes his hand. “That’s okay. I don’t think any kids will come into our possession.” Then he pauses. “Well, Ryo, maybe.”


At least that makes Sion’s smile grow a little more. “Well, I just thought you’d want kids. You’re good with them.”


Huh. Well, that's probably a fair question. It’s not like gay couples adopting in Japan is an easy nor common process, so the idea is more of a hypothetical than anything else. It’s certainly true that Riku always grew up wanting to be a dad, but after becoming a teacher, he’s not so enthused by the idea. Riku hums. “Well. I don’t know. I’m a teacher, I’m glad to come home to no kids.” But he makes sure to still look Sion in the eyes. “Except Megumi. Though… you know. I’m not gonna get ahead of myself.”


Sion chuckles a small little laugh. Then he looks down at the melon bun in his hand. It’s a little… his gaze turns a little more contemplative. “I don’t think Megumi would want another parent anyway. You’ve heard her talk about moms…”


Right, there’s that too. Sion has so much to worry about, doesn’t he?


Despite himself, Riku nods. “She doesn’t need a mother.” He understands Sion’s hesitance to bring anyone into Megumi’s life. She’s a kid whose trust needs to be earned and Megumi’s already had it hard enough with her actual mom leaving. That doesn’t exactly set up a very good step-parent situation. Riku isn’t… he doesn’t even know how he feels about the idea if the opportunity were to present itself. As, like, an actual step-parent. It’s too early for him to know. But Megumi is a good kid and he likes to think he’s not too bad of an option…


Riku squeezes Sion’s hand. Sion sighs again, sounding very tired. But his fingers lace into Riku’s and at least this time he isn’t trying to run or hide or stave him off. Their gazes meet and Sion’s expression is open, honest, maybe the most honest it’s ever been.


“I want to tell you about all of that. But it’s… I don’t even know where to start.” Sion sets his melon bun in his lap and smiles as he huffs out a humorless laugh. “It’s such a long story. I’ve never even bothered to explain all of it to anyone. Everyone I hang around now, they watched me crash and burn when the divorce happened…” 


Riku’s heart clenches. His grip on Sion’s hand tightens. “It’s alright. Take your time.” His thumb brushes over Sion’s knuckles. “Or, I don’t know. Maybe you can start at the beginning?”


Sion only exhales. “Ah. The beginning…”


For a while they sit there while Sion thinks. Riku lets him. He doesn’t mind waiting. He’s been patient thus far, hasn’t he? Oh Sion is a good man; he’s easy to wait for; he’s not like anyone Riku has ever dated before and that’s the crazy thing. It’s like by the day Sion just gets better and better and Riku can’t help but feel like he’s being just a little bit delusional about how much he likes him. It’s just- it’s hard to be dissuaded. But then he watches as Sion’s eyes open, as he stares down at the ground, as his hand squeezes Riku’s very, very tightly. Every thought in Riku’s mind automatically screeches to a halt.


So Sion’s ready to talk now. Obviously Riku is ready to listen. He waits as Sion takes in a very long inhale, breathes out a very long exhale, and then his mouth opens. 


“Megumi’s mom- er, my ex-wife, I guess.” Sion already looks a little meek at the title. “Her name was Tsuchiko. We met in college, right before I did my military service. ‘Cause in Korea we’ve got a whole, um. Mandatory thing. It sucks.” Sion chuckles a little. “We were so young. But twenty-four is an age where you think you’re a grown-up. So we got together fast, got married fast. It felt right because we just clicked. We liked the same music, we had the same friends, her family was well off and they liked me. It felt like fate. ‘Cause I was a little farmer boy and she liked me and they let her.”


Riku hums. His fingers squeeze Sion’s hand. Riku doesn’t know at what point he would be overstepping, and so he does as best he can to keep from intruding in on Sion’s past. “And then…?”


Sion sends him a tiny, tiny smile. “Well then, I don’t know. It was good at first. Our personalities meshed really well. But then I did my service and we got all yearny and then afterwards we said- ugh. ‘Why not get married?’ God, I was so dumb.” Sion laughs something very empty like the memory is something that brings him a good deal of pain. His eyes flit down to his left hand, his fingers tangled with Riku’s. “We went really fast. Within the year she was pregnant. And then Megumi was born. And you know, how I- my parents are a certain way. The religious stuff, being queer. It was like I was finally doing everything right. You know? I thought I finally had it all figured out…”


Sion trails off. Riku watches his expression darken just a smidge. The furrow of Sion’s eyebrows is something Riku’s never seen before. It’s… it’s curious how something so idyllic can fall apart like that. Riku waits for Sion to speak but his expression isn’t exactly one of someone reflecting back on happy memories.


And so Riku only prods once: “Then… um. Did she… did she do something?”


Riku always figured that Sion’s ex-wife must have betrayed him in a very significant way. That’s the only thing that could explain why Sion is as terrified and insecure as he is now, right? It’s just the logical conclusion to come to. But Sion scratches at his neck. It’s not an uncomfortable gesture, really. But he looks over at Riku and he says, rather frankly: “Well, honestly, the reason we got divorced was because of Megumi.”


And that comes as- that’s a shock. Riku can only blink for a second. He wonders if he heard that wrong. “What?”


Sion’s smile is sardonic. “I- If Megumi were never born, I don’t think Tsuchiko and I would’ve ever gotten divorced.”


And okay, yeah. That is a bit of a truth nuke for him to drop right now. For months Riku had been under the impression that Sion’s ex did something unfathomably cruel to him as he’s been left so afraid and wounded. But to hear that… to hear that they could’ve- that Sion would have- that they would’ve stayed together and that Sion would’ve been happily married to his dream girl, that hurts a little. Or, well it hurts a lot. It shouldn’t but it just does.


For a second, Riku feels very upset. Because that means Sion never would have- with Riku, he wouldn’t- but he doesn’t have the right to get upset over hypotheticals. He- he doesn’t. There’s a reason Sion’s holding his hand on this bench instead of her’s. There’s a reason Sion ended up in Japan instead of staying back in Mokpo, or even in Seoul. Riku has to inhale, exhale, squeeze his hand again and act like an adult. 


“What do you mean by that?” His voice is weaker than he means for it to be. “It was only… it was because of Megumi?”


He is reeling at this revelation but Sion, for all purposes, seems rather nonplussed by the idea. He shrugs. “Well, I don’t know. Tsuchiko and I did great together, you know. I really loved her and she really loved me, that was never anything I doubted. But when Megumi was born, you could tell she wasn’t like the other kids.” Sion breathes out a long sigh and his voice turns from nonchalant to bitter again. “I was a stay at home dad back then. I spent all day with her. Megumi was silent. She never cried. But when Tsuchiko held her she’d start getting all whiny.” Sion smiles a very sardonic thing and he squeezes Riku’s hand again, again, again. 


“Oh...” Riku’s still a little confused about how Sion is getting from Point A to Point B. “So… it was because Megumi didn’t, um… connect with her?” He tilts his head.


Sion’s still smiling. “Kinda. Tsuchiko is an heiress to a company that could buy this town if they wanted to. Her husband came from a cow farm. Her kid was mute. Her family wanted her to do better once it came down to it. So, you know.” Sion doesn’t even blink. “The math is obvious. Gumi and I weren’t gonna be the ones to bring honor to her legacy. And I wasn’t gonna give Gumi up for anything. So she left.”


Sion says it so simply but the weight of that statement almost echoes. Riku feels- he’s way more crestfallen than he’d thought he’d be. He always thought that Sion’s ex cheated on him or something with the way he talked about her, but this is so anti-climatic in maybe the worst way possible. Riku squeezes Sion’s hand again. “Ah, so… s-so that’s how it is. If Megumi wasn’t-? She would have-?”


“Well, if our kid wasn’t autistic, we probably would’ve been the perfect family. But Tsuchiko couldn’t bond with Gumi at all. She told me she couldn’t believe she gave birth to her and we fought so much because I was-” Sion takes in a very deep breath and for the first time in this entire conversation, his voice falters. “All her life, Megumi has loved me the most. And I wasn’t compromising on that. If Tsuchiko didn’t want to love Megumi, then I- I wasn’t gonna love her.”


Somehow each word Sion is saying is more devastating than the last. Riku is… he’s a little flabbergasted. That’s the only word he can think to use right now. Of course the weight of Sion and Megumi’s bond has always been obvious to him, but to know how deep it truly goes is… wow. That’s- wow. There’s just no other way to put it. Sion did, indeed, sacrifice his whole life for his kid. It puts a lot more into perspective. 


Everything about Sion is starting to make a lot more sense now. Of course the man who gave up his dream life to raise his daughter on his own would be self-sacrificial by default. Of course Sion’s so guilt-ridden. How could he not be? That’s the thing - Sion has no choice but to carry this burden alone, doesn’t he? Did he… did he ever have a choice?


It’s like a bomb has been dropped in Riku’s mind. This is his boyfriend, who he knows decently well, and yet it feels like he’s finally been granted access to the inner workings of Sion’s mind. Riku stares at his side profile, his sad smile and the acceptance all over his face. This is the look of a man who carved his fate with his own two hands. This is the man who, after a great deal of turmoil, has decided to let Riku see his pain for what it is. Sion can be really hard on himself but now it’s obvious why he never allows himself any leeway. Sion doesn’t have a choice but to put himself last when there is no one he can rely on besides himself.


Wow. This is… somehow this is worse than what Riku had imagined. 


This is what Sion’s been carrying around all by himself, huh? The weight of Megumi’s life? Sion is- he’s raising her by himself and choosing to prioritize her wellbeing over his relationship with his ex, he is selfless to even that extent? Riku didn’t know. He had no idea. Sion comes into his classroom with a grin on his face and picks his kid up in his arms as easily as he breathes; Sion moved abroad to give her a second start; Sion cried when he told Riku he liked him because he has every reason to never date anyone ever again. And that’s… that’s the burden Sion has shouldered for years and years and years. That’s why he’s so- he’s so-


In retrospect, Sion should probably be doing a lot worse than he is. Riku can’t fucking believe him. And yet Sion is… he’s kind of relentless about Megumi, isn’t he? He doesn’t compromise on anything. He could be heartbroken over his ex-wife but instead his kid still, still, still comes first. 


Riku kind of wants to cry for him. He had no idea that out of all the terrible reasons Megumi’s mom wouldn’t be in the picture, it’s simply because she didn’t want to be.


That’s just- it’s fucking heartbreaking.


Riku doesn’t know what to do, let alone what to say. Sion is smiling but it’s a bittersweet smile, and like this you can hear the toll the past seven years have taken on him. “It’s funny. I didn’t grow up wanting to be a dad but one day I was a dad, and she was-” Sion actually does tear up this time. He lets go of Riku’s hand to wipe at his eyes. And then, with trembling palms, he places his hands about a foot apart. “She was this tiny. And she trusted me more than anyone.”


God. Riku feels a little teary too. It’s just- well. Sion carries a burden Riku couldn’t even begin to understand but he can see what it means to Sion to be a dad and Megumi’s only parent at that. It’s his whole life. This is what Sion was hiding under that exterior of terrified, desperate man - Megumi is all he has. And he’s all she has in return. And that’s just so…


“Sion-san…” Riku breathes. He puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. He doesn’t know what else to say.


Sion wipes his eyes. “Argh, it’s- it’s fine. Honestly, knowing that she didn’t care for Megumi just- it got rid of the flame. Completely.” Sion rests his hand over Riku’s. “You know? It was clean-cut when we separated. She didn’t fight for visitation and I didn’t fight for child support. The judge said it was the quickest divorce proceeding involving a kid he’s ever seen.” Sion looks over at him and smiles. “But I don’t regret it, obviously. Megumi is my world.”


He says it in such a simple, accepting way. Sion is talking about all of this as if the choice to raise Megumi on his own was nothing more than a no-brainer. And maybe it was, to him. Maybe she too is all that Sion knows. This is- this is heavier than Riku was expecting. It makes everything make more sense, even down to their after school pick-up routine being so intensely affectionate. 


And this is why, huh? Megumi and Sion only have each other and it’s been like that for a long time. Riku understands it now, Sion’s fear and repression and everything. Being a single parent is a harder job than he had realized. It is a cruel one, too, and very isolating. And yet Sion is still…


He’s so loving. That’s the thing Riku wants to cry about. Sion has experienced that kind of heartbreak and yet he’s still so loving. 


He leans in to rest his head on Sion’s shoulder. He can feel his own eyes getting watery. Riku’s heart hurts for them, the both of them - Sion who was suddenly single-parenting a kid who trusted no one besides him; Megumi who was abandoned by her mom without seemingly any second thought. Sion has always made his divorce sound like a footnote in his life. It was always explained away with something like we’re not in contact, don’t ask Megumi about her mom. It was cryptic but that’s fine, Riku’s a teacher and he’s seen it all. But he’s never seen this, or maybe he’s never looked hard enough. A lot of single parents have taken on the task of single parenting without complaint like Sion has but Riku had never put any thought to what that kind of sacrifice entailed.


It’s just… it’s crazy. It’s unimaginably difficult, too. “I’m sorry,” Riku mumbles into Sion’s shoulder, squeezing his bicep. “It must’ve been so hard…”


“It’s okay,” Sion tells him. Of course he does - Sion will never complain about the position he was put in even when he’s being given the space to. “It’s not all bad. At first it was- I didn’t know what to do, but things could’ve been worse. I went back to Mokpo. I managed the farm for a year and a half, something like that. I wasn’t cut out for it. Which was a blow to my ego, but that’s whatever.” Sion laughs a little, though this time he sounds much less crestfallen; there’s some genuine mirth in there. “Really, I can’t complain. Yushi pulled me out here. And I think that was… a really good thing. For Megumi.” He rests an arm over Riku’s shoulders and squeezes him in close. “But for me, too.”


Riku squeezes his eyes shut as he tears up into Sion’s shoulder. He can’t believe that he’s so- he can’t believe that someone who has been through so much heartbreak could find comfort in him. Riku sniffles. “Really?”


He sounds admonished but Sion nods. He rests his cheek against Riku’s forehead. And then he says: “Riku, this is honestly the happiest I’ve been since Megumi was born.”


It’s not fair how Sion can tell him such devastating things so casually. Riku doesn’t- he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to do, really. For some reason his eyes are tearing up when Sion kisses him on the forehead, and he- how is this even real? 


Riku’s voice sounds disbelieving. “I-is it actually?” Because he can’t believe it, you know, it feels impossible to believe that he’s the one to make Sion happy. Even when- even after he was literally married!


Riku is beside himself but Sion huffs just out a laugh. “Now why are you crying.” A hand finds his jaw and tilts Riku’s chin to the right so they come eye to eye; Sion presses in closer. “Wow. I didn’t realize you were such a crybaby, Riku.”


Riku sniffles. “I’m not.” He definitely is. “But you just told me a really sad story…”


Sion chuckles. He’s smiling but that, too, is bitter. “Really? Am I too sad for you?”


God. This is so- everything hurts. Riku shakes his head. He’s kind of lost his mind and ice cream’s getting everywhere, so he drops his Melona to the ground and pulls Sion into a hug. “You’re not. You’re not too- you’re too much of anything for me.” Riku squeezes him in closer. “Sion-san, I really like you…”


“You do, huh?” Sion is teasing but it doesn’t have the usual edge. He just sounds fond as he sets his melon bun aside and pulls Riku in even closer, until- “Come here.”


Riku’s basically pulled into his lap. Which is fine. They’re pressed together forehead to forehead and Sion smooths over the hair at his nape. His touch is so gentle. Sion’s been through so much, and yet above all he’s a very gentle man. 


“What I wanted to tell you,” he murmurs, “is that I’ve lived through a lot of ugly things. And I don’t dwell on it much. Or I try not to. But Megumi is settled here. She’s really happy. And I can’t do anything stupid.”


Riku nods. He sniffles. “I know.”


Sion smiles. “Everything in my body is telling me that I’m being stupid with you. And I know I’m risking everything and I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t even be tempted by you.” His other hand falls down to Riku’s waist. And then Sion sighs. “But you make me want to be stupid. Just one more time.” 


Riku wipes at his eyes. “But I don’t- I didn’t-”


“What, are you backing out?” Sion’s still smiling even as Riku pouts. Fuck, he’s being mean again!


“No, that’s not- but I- I didn’t realize you went though so much and-” Riku sniffles. “I just didn’t know you had it so hard… don’t make fun of me…”


“Sorry.” Sion’s smile turns apologetic as he smooths a hand down Riku’s back. “All I mean is that I’m tired. And I’ve been alone for a long time. But being with you feels really…” Sion exhales something fond. “I’m feeling hopeful again, I guess.”


Riku cries, his tears pouring down his face. He can’t help it. He didn’t think- he didn’t realize to just what extent Sion had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Not entirely. He had no idea it was something like this. Riku curls his arms around Sion’s neck and presses their foreheads together. “Do you… do you think I’m worth that?” He doesn’t know if he feels more surprised or more honored that Sion holds him in such a high regard. 


But for some reason, Sion just laughs. A tear slides down his cheek but he looks happy - genuinely, he looks happy. “I don’t know anything, Riku. That’s the thing. I don’t know anything but the more I try to resist, the- the worse I feel.” Sion’s palm covers his nape and he squeezes. “But now you know how delicate I am. And I’m letting you right in here.” He guides Riku’s hand to his chest, right over his sternum, where his heartrate is a jack rabbit’s pace. “I’m terrified of what you can do to me. So this is your last chance to back out.”


Riku leaves his hand there. It reminds him of the confession two weeks ago, except this time Sion is more earnest: If it’s not real in here, I’ll die. He really meant it. Of course he did. Sion has known nothing but heartbreak and sacrifice and Riku could very easily make his life worse, not better.


So:


“I don’t want to back out,” Riku tells him. Obviously. “I’ll go as slow as you need. I don’t-”


“After everything I told you?” Sion asks. He smiles when Riku pouts. “I’m just- I just have to make sure.”


“I’m sure,” Riku tells him. And then he only has to lean in to kiss him.


Something about it is so… it’s nice. It feels like a finality, or maybe a confirmation. It’s not heated, though their kisses never really are. Sion is more subdued than usual but he won’t stop smiling. He brings Riku in by the nape, and then when they separate, he squeezes him into a very, very tight hug.


“I can’t believe you’re real,” Sion says. He sniffles. “You make me so happy, Riku.”


Riku hugs him back even harder. He can’t believe that he’s the one who gets to hear those words come out of Sion’s mouth, but he’s glad he is. No one else, ever, will get to make Sion happier than he does. Riku’s gonna make sure of that. 


He presses a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek and tells him honestly: “Well, you make me even happier. So what are you gonna do about that?”



 ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 



They stay at the park and talk for a while, albeit about not-so-sad things but rather their plans for break or potential dates that would work around Megumi’s schedule. You know, because now they’re Official. They stay maybe too long. Riku loses track of time until Sion, who kept him in a vice grip all the while, checks his phone: “Oh, fuck. Yushi’s gonna kill me.”


“What?” Riku blinks as Sion just- Sion just manhandles Riku off of him. Riku’s a little surprised by the strength as he’s slid off of Sion’s lap with a little too much ease. Wow, it’s nice to know those muscles aren’t just for show…


“Gumi gets really- she’s grumpy at this hour. I’m sorry, I need to learn better time management.” Sion sends Riku a guilty smile and then swoops down to give him a peck as he picks up his forgotten goods, which are mostly uneaten. Sion stuffs the donut in his pocket which Riku would be disgusted by if Sion were anyone else. But his boyfriend just smiles down at him. “Come on, I’ll walk you.”


Riku stares. Though he takes Sion’s hand when it’s offered to him. “But don’t you need to go?”


Sion’s smile widens a little bit. “I told you she’ll survive. I want to take care of you first.”


Oh, wow. For someone who is deeply - and rightfully - repressed for a million reasons, Sion sure knows how to say the most hauntingly loving things. Riku is a little pink as his boyfriend pulls him to his feet and drags him along. He only tries: “But Megumi-”


“-Can wait,” Sion affirms. “You’re my baby, too.”


Unfortunately enough, Riku is a little too pleased by this. A part of him had expected Sion to be ready to drop him at any given moment if Megumi needed him and Riku would’ve understood that, to an extent, though it’d still make him feel some type of way. But Sion is adamant about this and his hand is firm in Riku’s. Riku can’t stop staring at him. It’s in awe, mostly.


“What? It’s- she’ll be fine.” Sion is almost exasperated when he catches him staring.


“It’s not that,” Riku says, because it’s not. “I just like you so much.”


It’s embarrassing. He doesn’t even mean to say that in such a helpless, dumbfounded voice, but Sion laughs as his ears go red. “Do you?” Now they’re both embarrassed. Riku averts his eyes and scratches at his neck. But Sion’s grip on him tightens. 


“I do,” he mumbles. “I really do…”


“Okay, well, be a little more stingy when you say that or else I’m gonna- you make me feel crazy.” Sion cuts him off before Riku can go on any kind of tirade, at least, which is probably better for the sake of both of their sanities. “You’re really cute. And it’s- it’s a lot. ‘Cause I’m an impulsive person and you’re driving me insane.”


Riku blushes, still very embarrassed. Though he tries pointing out: “But you’re not impulsive, are you?”


Sion laughs, except this time it’s not really mirthful. “You have no idea how crazy I can get. So don’t tempt me, kitty.”


They kind of have to hustle on their way back but it’s still nice. Sion doesn’t let go of him for even a second. They’re in agreement that they’re obviously gonna keep their relationship as secret from the public as they can for, like, safety reasons, but in the dark they have an alibi. And Riku loves this anyway, holding hands on the way home. 


Plus he can admire Sion more openly with no one around to catch him in the act. Sion’s shoulders are so wide and his hands are warm and he’s got really firm… um. Arms. Yup, that’s all.


“Sorry for rushing you,” Sion apologizes when they get to Riku’s door, who beeps his passcode in. “I just have to-” He balks when Riku steps inside. “Oi, are you leaving me just like that?”


“I’m not,” Riku grins. “But you have to come in so I can kiss you.”


He’s only being honest without any ulterior motives involved. Sion looks a little pink at the suggestion but when Riku pulls him inside, he goes easily. “W-well. Okay, then...”


Riku is a man on a mission, though. He closes the door swiftly, he backs Sion up against it. Their height difference is but a few measly inches but Sion’s posture is actually terrible. Normally it’s impossible to notice Riku’s much shorter than him. But Sion stands to his full height now and that is- wow, he’s handsome.


“Hi,” Riku smiles. He presses in close, close, close.


Sion smiles back at him. His hands rest on his waist. “Hi, kitty.” He smiles more when Riku nuzzles into his jaw. “Fuck, you’re so cute. I don’t wanna leave.”


“You have to,” Riku reminds him even as he reaches up to kiss him. Sion’s hand slides up his back to cradle the back of his head. “Sion-san…”


“Riku,” Sion kisses him back. “Mm. Baby. My baby.” He smiles when that makes Riku blush. “Oh, cute.”


“Stop it,” Riku pouts. The kissing is so nice. They kiss softly and it’s very innocent, like how he kissed in high school or something. Sion’s hand is warm on Riku’s waist and he just holds him. Even though Sion has a firm grip it’s nothing particularly commanding. Riku smiles when he squeezes. 


“Okay, I-” Sion kisses him one last time. “I seriously have to go.” He sighs a little and squeezes Riku into another hug. Sion really seems to like hugging. “I’m sorry. I want to- I want to stay and dote on you.”


Riku smiles into his neck. “I’m not Gumi. You don’t have to dote…”


Sion only squeezes him harder. “No, I do. You’re so cute. And you’re… you’re so patient with me…”


Riku closes his eyes. He presses more into Sion’s neck and leans his weight into him. “‘Cause you’re worth it. And I like you…” He smiles when chapped lips press to his forehead again. Sion is really so predictable, heh.


Eventually they do have to separate, though, and on Sion’s part it takes a little pleading because Riku keeps teasing him. It’s so funny. They’ve been official for a mere hour and yet Sion can’t say no to him. Or maybe he’s never been able to do that, actually. 


“Seriously, I’ll call you later. Unless you wanna sleep?” Sion smiles when Riku shakes his head. “Okay. Well, actually, Megumi might make me sleep with her. But we’ll see.” Sion swoops down to kiss him one last time. “You’ll be good, right?”


There it is again. Riku smiles. “I will…” Though he wants to tease a little more. He reaches for another hug. 


“Hey, no, I know what you’re doing,” Sion pulls away when Riku’s hands sneak over his waist. “Come on. I’ll see you soon. Okay, kitty?”


Damn, what a way to ruin his fun. “I guess…” Riku opens the door for him and leans against the doorframe as Sion steps out. “Be safe.” He smiles up at his boyfriend. It’s a little smug, sue him. 


Sion’s sending him eyes like he wants another kiss but if they do that he’s never leaving. So Sion closes his eyes and exhales and steps away, like, fully. “Okay. So-” Sion looks pained, though. “Check your phone. Don’t fall asleep.”


Riku grins. “I won’t.”



“Okay, then. I’m leaving now.” Sion manages another step. And then another. And then another half step before he turns back. “Er, maybe just-”


“No, go!” Riku waves him off. He’ll push Sion away if he has to. “I’m closing the door!”


Sion pouts. “Okay, fine. I’ll miss you.”


Riku laughs. “I’ll miss you, too.”


He actually closes the door after that, though, because Sion’s getting that pained look on his face again. He shuts it behind him and can hear a loud groan of an exhale on the other side of the door. That’s so cute. Sion’s really clingy, isn’t he? That’s surprising. Riku hadn’t expected him to be the more needy one out of the two of them, and yet he’s super touchy and affectionate and everything. Riku should use that to his advantage more often…


At least it’s not even that late, only nine or so. Riku gets ready for bed anyway since he’d prefer to fall asleep on this phone call. He washes himself off, gets dressed, rolls into bed. He scrolls around on Instagram until a text comes through.


Sorry, I can’t call… the little one wants a sleepover in Appa’s bed…


Riku smiles. He’s not even jealous. It’s- well, you know. Sion will always put Megumi first, that’s a given. But he prioritizes Riku, too. It’s really so wonderful. Riku isn’t worried about being cast aside at all.


Okay, Riku texts him. Go to bed, then. We’ll call tomorrow to talk about babysitting?


Sion texts back immediately: Okay. You can come over if you want…


Riku snorts: Really?


Well, Sachiko-san will be there too. Don’t get any ideas. 


Riku rolls into his pillow with a smile. Darn. Okay. I’ll be there but I guess we can’t kiss…


The response is immediate: When there is a will, baby, there is a way.


Riku laughs. It’s not fair - for someone with the kind of hangups that he does, Sion’s awfully good at the doting-boyfriend thing. It’s so nice. It feels good, it makes Riku feel really hopeful for the future. They don’t have everything figured out perfectly just yet but they’ll learn together, won’t they? He doesn’t doubt that at all.


Okay~ Riku texts. Good night, then ♡


Sion’s text is immediate: Sleep well, kitty. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.


Riku puts his phone on his nightstand and squeals into his pillow. He doesn’t let himself hit the full KYAAAAA but he’s close. And it just- it feels right, you know. He feels like he’s a good decision for Sion; he feels like Sion’s a good decision in return.


So Riku goes to bed with a smile. And when he wakes up, there’s a text waiting for him: Morning, baby. Come over soon. So we can kiss ♡


Wow, a heart emoji and everything! How did Riku get so lucky! He rolls out of bed and texts as fast as he can: GOOD MORNING HEHEHEHEHEHHEEEE ♡ I’M RUNNING OVER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! And then he does, of course, because he said he would. 


Twenty minutes later, when Sion greets him at the door, his face is both admonished and impressed. “You- really?”


“Yeah,” Riku grins. “Is Gumi around?”


Sion smiles. “No, not yet.” And then he pulls him inside and crowds him up against the door. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”


Riku pouts just for the dramatics of it all. “Don’t ask, just do it.”


And so they’re able to get a few kisses in. Or maybe a lot, lot more than that. Riku isn’t counting but that’s the thing about Sion being his boyfriend - for the first time maybe ever, he’s dating someone without any shame at all. And it’s- it’s just perfect.


Sion smiles into his mouth. “Just a little more, okay?” That is almost certainly a lie. 


Riku can only smile back. “Okay.”