CHAPTER FIVE




Okay, so. Okay, so maybe Sion is experiencing the aftereffects of making what could’ve either been the best or worst decision of his life. And he’s also reeling from a lot of things in general, namely his own opinions on- on recent events, you could call them. Like, he and Riku are dating now. Sion doesn’t know what he’s feeling anymore and he doesn’t know anything at all, actually. 


Where doubt usually rings, there’s nothing. Right now his mind is silent. That’s never happened before and Sion doesn’t know how to feel about that, either. He’s used to feeling insecure, he’s used to doubting himself, he’s used to regretting the impulsive things he gets himself into almost as soon as he opens his mouth. But this is the strange part: Sion doesn’t regret asking Riku out at all.


So… so he’s gonna ignore that. Because whether this is good or not has yet to be determined and Sion is a cringe millennial - sometimes you just have to say YOLO and roll with it like an adult.


Right? Right.


“Get home safe!” Riku is telling him right before he drives off, half-hanging out his window. It’s a vast contrast to how he normally comes across - Riku’s usually so calm and collected - because right now his face is bright red. Riku stutters out: “And- and text me!”


God. He’s so cute. “I will,” Sion promises. Again, he’s not thinking about anything at all. He tacks on a smile so Riku knows he’s teasing but he also very much means what he says: “Thank you for the cake. And your face.”


Sion has this tendency to tease once he likes someone enough and he was hoping that wouldn’t infect the thing he has with Riku, and yet he was sorely wrong about that. It’s pressing, the urge to speak with that lilt to his voice and tease in that sing-song tone and watch him turn pinker and pinker…


Riku blushes deeper but is mostly unperturbed by the teasing. “That’s- okay, bye!” And then, that time, he actually leaves.


Wow. It’s hard to think much of anything after the evening they just had, and so Sion watches Riku’s truck peel off in a bit of a daze. It’s an old thing. The smell of sulfur lingers in the air; Sion stares until the truck is but a dot down the road. But then his phone buzzes and he startles. 


Oh. It’s Yushi. Sion forgot he left him hanging earlier. 


I know you were with Riku, but are you on your way back? Hyung, Gumi is gonna overthrow me any second now……


Sion’s mouth twitches into a tiny, tired smile. Right. Right, he needs to go home. Beyond his- his boyfriend, there is the matter of his daughter, who is undoubtedly going to make a mess of his night the second he gets back. Sion sighs. He better head off too…


So he does. Sion walks off into the night and it’s just… it’s a little funny. He’s thinking about nothing at all as he wanders back to the house, not until Riku sends him a text that he’s safe at home about halfway through his walk, to which Sion grins down at his phone as he sends back a reply. Riku is so- he’s so cute. And he’s sweet and he’s kind and he’s gorgeous and he has a very kissable mouth, apparently. And really, kissing him was an impulsive decision too. Sion had no business kissing him so much but he doesn’t regret that. He doesn’t regret any of it, actually. Not even the things he probably should. That’s new; how often is it that Sion isn’t immediately doubting his every move?


It’s just a little odd. In a good way, maybe. That’s the part that freaks him out, that this feels like a good thing. Riku texts back a little heart and Sion has to shove his phone into his pocket so he doesn’t say anything stupid. God forbid he lets himself be any more impulsive than he has already been, at least for tonight. 


Sion inhales; he exhales. He stares down his feet as he passes under streetlamps and retraces his way home. Don’t get too ahead of yourself now, Sion. You already kissed him five million fucking times. At least show some restraint, for the love of god. What happened to your self control? Except Sion smiles at the thought because he’s an idiot and that, too, is dazed. 


Ah. Riku must’ve stolen his self control and left it dead in a ditch somewhere. Sion turns onto his street and his smile is unchanging if not a little too fond. He can still feel the warmth of Riku’s hands, his mouth, his low voice… he can still feel the weight of Riku in his side, can still imagine the fond look on his face at each kiss, each press up against each other…


Sion sighs fondly. He arrives at his house; he opens the door and is immediately confronted by a literal screech.


It’s Megumi. She comes running, sobbing her eyes out. “A-Appa-!”


Er, well, never mind. The bubble of tranquility pops the second Sion even just walks through his own front door because Megumi is terrorizing Yushi in the not-good way, as in she’s pissed that Sion was gone all day and all she’s been left with in the meantime is her Yushi-nii. She’s crying and yelling as she sprints across the length of the living room. That’s not good.


“Why were you- how could you-” Megumi trips over her feet and comes barreling into Sion’s side.


“Hi, honey…” Sion makes an apologetic face as he catches her. He closes the door behind him with his free hand. “Um. Sorry I’m late…”


Megumi has tears streaming down her face. “But you-” She clings onto Sion’s arm and only stops herself from launching at him once she realizes he’s covered in grass. Then Megumi’s wailing: “That’s- Appa, why are you- it’s not fair! I wanna cuddle right now-!”


Sion sends a confused look at Yushi, who shrugs from the couch. It’s something like hyung, I tried. That’s not good, either.


Oh well. At least Sion’s used to this, these little tantrums that Megumi only ever has about the strangest of things. Sion sighs and swoops down to kiss his sniffling daughter on the forehead, stroking a hand over her hair as he attempts to detach her from his arm. “I can shower in ten minutes, baby, okay? Be a little patient.”


Megumi is beside herself, though, continuing to cling with a vice grip. “But you were gone all day!” She doesn’t even wipe her eyes, just openly crying at him as she wails again: “Appa, you said you’d be home for dinner!”


Sion toes his shoes off. They’ll need to be washed. Then Sion slowly slides across the floor, creeping to the bathroom and trying not to track dirt across his meticulously clean house even as Megumi only clings and clings and clings to him. “Have your Nii-chan set a timer, then. I- it’ll really only be ten minutes!” Sion’s trying to compromise because that’s the only thing that calms her down besides, like, ice cream. 


And, well. On the bright side, Megumi finally lets go of him. On the other hand, she also turns to Yushi and yells: “Yushi-nii! Did you hear that?! Appa only gets ten minutes!” Sion regrets giving her the idea almost immediately. 


God. His kid is really gonna be the death of him. But Yushi sends a wordless thumbs up from the couch and Megumi sends Sion a deadly serious look as she tells him: “Ten minutes, Appa. Got it?”


So alas, Sion’s fate is sealed.


It’s- this is a little ridiculous but it’s fine. It isn’t anything Sion isn’t used to - this whole tantrum song-and-dance, for one, is very familiar - nor does he ever expect Megumi to let him off easily. She’s fucking relentless and it’s his fault for enabling her so much out of the sake of ‘fairness’. As all parents do, there are some things Sion has played too fast and loose with, and these so-called compromises are one of them. But he doesn’t have much choice in the matter; he pushes everything that doesn’t involve his kid out of his mind while he showers, scrubbing himself down as quickly as humanly possible. Sion’s done in nine and a half minutes and he has only barely pulled a clean shirt on when an impatient knock comes at the door.


“Appa!” Megumi bellows. “You have to be done now!”


Sion closes his eyes, briefly, feeling very exhausted all of a sudden. “Just another second, honey…” He needs to put on his pants at least.


A pause. “That’s one second!” And, well, Sion should’ve known better. 


He only takes a few more moments to get ready. Megumi is on him as soon as he’s out of the bathroom. “Baby…” Sion sighs as he pulls her up into his arms and nuzzles into her cheek. “I thought you said you’d behave while Appa was gone…”


“You were gone for too long,” Megumi sniffles. She’s being much more petulant than usual as she loops her arms around his neck and squeezes. Sion winces. She’s getting too strong to be doing these things now. One day she’s gonna pop his head off his neck.


“I’m sorry,” Sion says as he brings them both back to the living room, going right to the couch because it’s been an incredibly long day and he needs to decompress. He pets over Megumi’s hair before turning to Yushi. “How much do I owe you?”


Yushi makes a face at him. “Nothing.”


God, he’s so- Sion can only sigh, long and wounded, as he melts into the couch. It’s been a very long day and these two are only making him feel even more exhausted. “Yuu-chan, seriously, she was…” Sion can’t think of a nice way to word you put up with my demon of a child all day, let me pay you, and so he doesn’t. He only pleads, his voice exasperated: “Come on. I don’t ask you to do this for free.”


“It’s not free, I raided your fridge.” Yushi’s not budging, not even a little bit. He pads over to the genkan and slides his shoes on as he sends Sion a look. “Seriously, I ate all the banchan.”


And okay, well. At least that’s something. Sion was hoping Yushi would take some kind of payment - he babysits literally all of the time - but if that payment has to be in food, sobeit. Sion closes his eyes and tries to accept that this kid is never gonna take any money from him. “Okay. Fine. I’m gonna need help next weekend, so send me any grocery requests...” 


Yushi’s tone rises a little, excited. “Really?”


Sion squints an eye open and glares at him. “I’m your hyung, of course,” he grouches. “You already pay me more than you should, in what world do you expect me not to-”


“Okay, okay, sorry.” Yushi grins and pulls on his hoodie. “I’ll give it to you on Monday.” Then he looks at Megumi and waves at her. “Bye bye, Gumi…”


Megumi is grumpy. And when she’s grumpy she hates talking. So when she only grunts in response, Sion prods her. He whispers: “What do you say when Yushi-nii leaves…?”


That only means Megumi bites out, even more petulant: “Bye.” And, well. At least she gave it an attempt.


Sion sighs again, something incredibly exasperated, but Yushi is laughing as he opens the front door and closes it shut behind him. In his wake he leaves behind a stewing seven year-old and Sion, who is too tired to deal with a stewing seven year-old. But he still brings Megumi into a tight hug and presses a smack of a kiss to her cheek. “It’s time to get you to bed,” Sion attempts.


“No,” Megumi says back. “It’s time to cuddle.” 


Normally Sion would be more stern with her but it’s still relatively early and also he did kind of break their promise today. He wasn’t supposed to stay out past dinner. Which Sion is… he’s a little bitter about that, yeah, because he would’ve really preferred to sit there longer with Riku and just hold hands and kiss and all of those embarrassing things. But it’s not like Sion isn’t used to having to prioritize Megumi’s wants over his own. So she burrows under his shirt and Sion lets her because he always lets her.


“Comfy?” That’s all he asks as Megumi smushes her face into his sternum. One of his hands splays across her back and holds her there.


“Smells like Appa…” Megumi’s already nodding off, somehow. “Appa, let’s just… let’s just cuddle…” She snores. Yeah, you can always count on Megumi to conk out the second she’s comfy. Sion sighs again. 


Being a single parent really isn’t for the weak, is it? She caused all that fuss just to pass out in his arms as she always does...


Ah, well. At least things are calm now, what with the kid snoring into his chest and the quiet of the house around him. The TV is playing some variety show but Sion catches himself repeatedly staring off at nothing as he’s left to sit there alone and think, especially now that Megumi isn’t begging for his attention. He thought his mind would be a mess but it’s actually… it’s suspiciously quiet. He runs a hand down Megumi’s back and a terribly fond, terribly giddy smile slowly grows on his face.


God. He kissed Riku, like, three billion times. And now they’re boyfriends. Or, well, they’re something like that, they’re dating until they make it really official at their Actual Date. Which is- that’s just- he’s so-


Wow. Wow.


Sion’s too old to be this giddy, he knows, but that’s whatever. It’s hard not to be giddy when he knows that tomorrow all the self-doubt will roll in as it always does, so now Sion just wants to indulge in how he feels- he feels really happy. That’s the other weird thing. Sion doesn’t know how long it’s been since he was this happy. Riku is so handsome and he’s also just beautiful in general and his hands are big and warm and there’s an edge to him, too, when Sion really teases. Riku has a petulant side that gets whiny and he’s so fucking cute. Now Sion wants to tease even more. God. 


And he also just wants to- well, he doesn’t know what exactly he wants. But for the first time in a very long time, Sion actually wants something. Isn’t that crazy? It’s been years since he’s felt this crazy about anything.  


Sion exhales again, his smile dimming as he closes his eyes and leans his head back against the couch. Of course the urge to doubt himself is still gnawing at the edges of his mind. But this decision feels… Sion’s not sure how to describe it. It just doesn’t feel as impulsive as his confessions usually do, as reckless of a track record as he has. After all, Sion’s been almost-considering the idea of asking Riku out for weeks. He just didn’t realize that he’d end up doing it in the heat of the moment. And yet there is something about Riku that makes him act irrationally and Sion isn’t quite sure what it is that makes him cave. Not just yet. But Maeda Riku makes him want to listen to the dumb, young, yearny part of him no matter how loudly Sion’s rationality is screaming at him to focus on Megumi instead of his own feelings. 


That’s why he still gave in at the end of the day. Of course he did. If there’s one thing Sion is consistent about, it’s his inability to fight his goddamn impulses. Though three years without budging was a decent record…


So, you know. He’s counting his blessings rather than beating himself up, or at least right now he is. And that’s- it’s fine. It is.


Sion sighs out something very long and very, very tired. Megumi snores into his chest and she’s really none the wiser about any of this, huh. That’s a mess just waiting to happen, whatever he and Riku become with Megumi in their stead. He already knew that; that’s why he’s been dragging his feet for so long to begin with. And yet that’s a risk Sion thinks he’s willing to take. Or, well. He just has a feeling about it. Which is dumb, but it’s still true. Riku makes him feel good things and Sion’s not gonna get all doubtful just yet. This warmth in his chest is a feeling he ought to relish in while he can... 


Right, he should be happy no matter how much his mind is fighting him. Sion’s head pounds a little at just imagining how he’s gonna spend the next several weeks trying to talk himself out of committing to this, whatever “this” is. A long-term relationship? He hopes that’s the goal here. Sion’s trying to stay positive but his brain is never ending in the way it keeps him paranoid. Maybe he needs to put the kid to bed before thinking himself to death... 


Right. Gumi comes first, then the agony. As always. 


“Baby, it’s time to go to bed,” Sion tells her as he rises to his feet and carries her down the hallway on two wobbly feet. Normally her weight isn’t much of a problem but he spent all day landscaping and his back is gonna be pissed at him tomorrow. His voice is low, a coo: “Are you ready to sleep?”


“Mfrgh,” Megumi grumbles. “‘M tired.” At least there’s that.


“Bedtime, then,” Sion hums as he waddles into her room and sets her down on her futon. “Come on, let’s get ready.”


Megumi is still pretty much knocked out while Sion tucks her into bed, which is good - it’s rare that she’s too sleepy to insist that she needs to spend the night in her Appa’s shirt and Sion’s glad for time by himself. He tiptoes off to his own room after wrestling her into PJs and slipping her usual bunny stuffie into her arms. He exhales when his bedroom door slides shut behind him. Again, in the silence of the house, his mind is surprisingly quiet.


Sion smiles. Now that there’s no kid to focus on, of course his thoughts flit back to Riku. A part of him wants to freak out about it. Like, laugh like a maniac or have a meltdown or something. But the shoji walls are thin and he needs to act his age. Right? Or, like, he should behave at least a little bit like a grown man and not a love-sick teenager…


“I’m being so dumb…” Sion buries his face in both hands, still smiling. No, there’s no way he’s acting calm about this. He must not be as good at compartmentalization as he thought he was. He chuckles, just a tiny bit, the sound breathless. “This is so ridiculous.”


And, well. Of course it’s ridiculous, but most of the things in Sion’s life are pretty ridiculous and so there’s no use in fighting what is simply par for the course. He gets ready for bed despite knowing it’ll be hours and hours before he will be able to sleep. Most parents indulge in hobbies after putting their kids down for the night but Sion is currently hobby-less by proxy of his Everything, so all he can do is lay in bed and think. He crawls under his sheets and lets his mind wander. Of course he thinks about Megumi; of course he thinks about Mokpo; of course he thinks about Riku, mostly. There are good things; there are bad things; he’s thinking about both, Sion’s a catastrophizer by nature and denying himself the spiral would go against everything he stands for. He shouldn’t indulge in his anxiety but it’s rare that his mind is so crystal clear, even if only just for the night.


So Sion thinks, and for the first time in a very long time, he lets himself really give in to his mind. The hopeful parts of it, the paranoid parts of it, the tired parts, everything he is afraid of and even the small, teeny-tiny bits of faith he wants to let himself believe in…


Sion inhales; he exhales. It’s rare he lets his mind go off on its own. Wow. Even he is intimidated by the sheer amount of worry he keeps up here. 


It’d be funny if not for the dozens of things he genuinely has to consider on the daily. Because while most thoughts Sion thinks during the course of his day are about insignificant, asinine things, right now his mind echoes nothing but his worries. Even the dumber ones. Like the fact that Sion thought he’d feel a lot guiltier about his confession, for one. That’s what confuses him the most about… everything, really, even though it shouldn’t. After all, Riku is a very easy person to like. It’s incredibly easy to confess to someone who goes the extra mile for his kid and tells him he’s a good guy and shows up randomly with a cake and the excuse it just reminded me of you. Sion has- honestly speaking, he’s never had anyone do that kind of thing for him. Not actually. It’s dumb that that’s what he’s stuck on, but still, he is.


Like, sure, it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but Sion has mostly dated women and in a very stereotypically gendered way it always landed on him to do the wooing. And even when he dated other guys, it was always so… it was different. They were all so deep in the closet that their courting was done in secret, in the shadows. And he and Riku have to be hidden in the shadows, too, to an extent. But Riku beams whenever Sion walks into his classroom and the pure openness of that is new. It’s new and it’s wonderful. It gives him fucking heart palpitations. Riku is so beautiful and Riku isn’t ashamed of him. That’s terrifying: Riku is shameless and he’s the first person Sion’s ever liked who was shameless about him. 


It’s so… Sion is so endeared by it. He doesn’t know how to act when Riku isn’t drawn in by his guilt, or the facade he’s bad at putting up, or anything besides the real him, the him that Sion is hiding in his insides. Riku’s maybe the first person who hasn’t been off-put by his self loathing, not even the crueler parts of it. Riku understands that Sion needs to put Megumi first and simultaneously prods at him in the ways Sion needs to be prodded at. And that is- it’s new. It’s new and it’s also very, very scary. 


But Sion thinks he likes it. Or, well, he’s starting to. He’s starting to get more comfortable with the prospect of being seen and that is something he never thought would happen. Riku’s got this habit of getting under his skin and teasing his secrets out of him and Sion has just been letting it happen... 


He’s never let anyone do that to him before, no one except for maybe Yushi. This is Sion’s first time experiencing a lot of these things and he’s trying to be excited rather than intimidated. But that, too, is a process.


Things are just complicated, you know, though they always are. Sion doesn’t know how he’s supposed to feel besides ashamed. When he was with Tsuchiko there was so much shame - her family could’ve afforded to buy the farm ten fucking times over and Sion was overly aware of his place from the moment they got together until she told him she wanted to get divorced. That’s why there was a huge part of him that was relieved when the court hearings went smoothly. Sion was finally free from the never-ending feeling of inadequacy, at least, never mind the ostracization being a single dad brought on. With that came a whole new kind of guilt, and that’s the guilt that Riku no doubt sees in him every time Sion averts his eyes and stumbles over his words whenever he has to talk about himself.


But even then, Riku is… he’s so different, isn’t he? 


Riku doesn’t hold Sion to his guilt, nor does Riku seem to care much for all the things he has to feel guilty for. That’s new, too, and for the first time maybe ever it makes Sion feel like he’s really being seen for who he is and not who he tries to be. Sion wants to be a good dad, a hard worker, a functioning adult. But at the end of the day he is only himself, tired and jaded and uncertain. And Riku knows that. And yet he likes him anyway. Sion doesn’t know what about him there is to like, and even then, Riku sees something in him that Sion can’t. Riku makes him feel like he’s a good man because he says it so much: you’re a good dad to Gumi, you’re a good friend to Yushi, you’re good to me. Sion wouldn’t call himself a good man and yet Riku is persistent about it in the same way he is about… well, he’s persistent about everything, really. 


Maeda Riku is an extremely persistent man; he is persuasive, too, and shameless in the way he refuses to relent. So it’s just a little funny in a roundabout way. Of course Sion had felt the confession brewing ever since the day of Megumi’s meltdown. That was the first time he had really wanted to say it, because that was the first time he’s seen Megumi calm down in someone else’s arms and Riku’s whole existence is a temptation, the way he looked up at him and sheepishly said well, I just tried my best. Riku doesn’t even know the amount of grief that Megumi’s struggles have brought into their lives. Ever since she was a baby she has struggled far more than any “normal” kid should and Sion is always thinking back to when she was an infant and she would cry and cry and cry when anyone besides Sion held her. That was the only time Megumi would ever cry; when her mother held her, when her grandparents cooed at her, when anyone besides Sion came too close. And yet, somehow, Riku is another exception. 


God. Sion couldn’t pretend like he wasn’t swayed by that. He really couldn’t. Megumi is by far the most important thing in his life and he has spent seven years revolving around her like she is his sun because if there is one thing Sion would do anything for, it’s his kid. He wants her to be happy, he wants her to be healthy, he wants her to feel like she can fit in like everyone else. So Sion can’t entertain anyone she doesn’t like. So Sion has never put a thought to dating because he refused to let anyone close to her unless they could be trusted. So Sion has tamped down any dredge of want or desire or selfishness. 


But even after so many years of Sion denying himself, it’s Megumi who has chosen to trust Riku more than she trusts… anyone else, basically. And, well. That’s a little difficult to contend with if they’re gonna be dating. 


Everything is so fucking complicated, you know? Sion doesn’t know how he should feel about that, Riku being Megumi’s exception and her teacher and maybe the only other person he can count on to know what she needs. Because sure, Sion confessed like he knew he eventually would. And he doesn’t regret it, not yet. And yes, out of anyone he could’ve chosen to fall for, Riku is probably as good as it gets for both him and his kid. But Sion’s responsibilities feel like a mountain even on a good day, and he is a parent before he is even a person, and he can’t fuck up Megumi’s life again. No matter how much she trusts Riku, all the responsibility is on Sion’s shoulders and he doesn't know the appropriate way to draw the lines here. Between teacher and boyfriend and friend and- and whatever else they are... 


And that’s even disregarding Sion’s bullshit. He can only hope to god that Riku is at least aware that he will not be an easy man to date. It’s not like single dads make ideal partners, especially when their kid is autistic and struggles as much as Megumi does.


So, you know. He’s a little freaked out. 


The extent to which Sion likes Riku doesn’t change the things that are hanging on the line. Sion’s worrying about Megumi most of all, but he’s also less worried than he would be if he were dating anyone else. There are upsides to Riku being a teacher - he understands how kids work. He understands how to act around them. He wouldn’t try to infiltrate in on Sion and Megumi’s lives unless asked, probably, though Sion’s gonna have to think more about how he wants to navigate that. He’s never dated anyone while single parenting. How long does he wait before telling her? Does that change if Megumi already knows Riku? 


Oh, god, how does he tell his kid that her Appa’s bisexual? What the fuck, does he need to be worrying about that too?


It’s so- Sion almost kicks himself for going off the rails so quickly. He doesn’t even need to think about all of that right now - the festival’s in two weeks and they can’t go on a proper date until after that, anyway. For now they’re just dating in some way or another. Sion has two weeks to figure out how he’s gonna tell Riku how fucked up he is, which also means he has two weeks to talk himself out of trying to convince Riku that he’d be a bad boyfriend. Whatever happens after that can really only depend on how crazy Maeda Riku feels for him. Which is actually…


Okay. Well. Sion is starting to doubt Riku’s sanity. Just a little bit. 


It’s just kind of hard to imagine a well-adjusted person enjoying a confession in the manner that Sion confessed. You know, through tears and in the middle of a mild meltdown. But it’s also not like Riku has ever come across as absurdly normal. That level of shamelessness isn’t exactly common, nor is his endless optimism. So… maybe it’s fine…?


Sion can only sigh. He hopes that Riku won’t mind how serious their relationship needs to be, nor how slow it needs to be taken. Sion isn’t… he hasn’t kissed anyone in over three years. Things with Tsuchiko were strained ever since Megumi was born, and quite frankly, the idea of anything more intimate than a hug really scares him. Sion used to never be the kind of person to take things slowly. But now he has to. If not for Megumi’s sake, certainly for his own. That’s the thing he’s been denying for a long time. The idea of giving himself to anyone feels extremely daunting and it makes his stomach churn, actually, the thought of being touched or praised too affectionately or being told he’s loved or anything like that…


Ugh. But Riku is good. That’s the awful part. He seems like he understands the seriousness, somehow, or at least he’s willing to indulge. Sion doesn’t know how he’s going to act normal at school on Monday. Riku is so cute. And now he’s his boyfriend. And he's all- 


God, wait. Sion’s face burns a severe red. Now Riku is his. What the fuck, how is that even real?


It’s hard not to freak out. Sion knows above all he has to do right by Megumi, and he will, it’s just- Riku really cares about him. Or at least he thinks about him and listens to the things he says. It’s almost enough to make Sion cry again. The cake was such a nice gesture and it’s deeply embarrassing that Sion’s reaction to something so small was so visceral. He’s been telling himself that he’s bad for so many years, hasn’t he? But Riku is a good guy. He’s really, really good. Sion doesn’t deserve him. There’s just no way that he does.


…Except, well. Sion’s starting to think that he wants to. Sion wants to deserve him; he wants to be selfish this one single time; he wants to keep Riku for himself and hiss at everyone else: back off, he’s mine, I’m never letting him go. Sion was in denial about that, too, but the feeling only grows by the day. 


This is new. It’s new that he wants something, that he wants Riku, specifically. Sion feels selfish for going for it even though there’s so much at risk. And yet, and yet, and yet…


Ah, it’s still possible this could be really good for everyone involved. So maybe Sion shouldn’t get so ahead of himself. He inhales and then he exhales and he lets himself smile. Stay in the moment, idiot. You’ve been dating for two goddamn hours. Then he rolls over to his nightstand to grab his phone and send his- he sends his boyfriend a goodnight text. 


Right. Sion’s done enough thinking. He needs to focus on what he actually has control over, namely the very good-looking man he got to kiss approximately one hundred times only a mere few hours ago. He types something annoying and cheesy just because he’s allowed to, now: Riku~ Sleep well, okay? 


And, as always, a response from Riku comes quickly. Sion-san~ I will~


Ugh. Sion smiles like an idiot. How can one person be so cute? He doesn’t know. Riku’s so cute and he’s his, and he’s just so- is he allowed to have this? Is Sion really allowed to-


Okay, yeah, no. He needs to stop thinking and go to sleep. So he does.


The fact that he’s able to turn his brain off after a day like that is incredible, but Sion dozes off eventually; he’s a little restless, too, but he always is. It’s just a little funny that he’s sleeping well for once. Sion doesn’t dream of anything haunting and that can only be a good premonition because normally he’s terrorized in his sleep even on really good days. So… so, you know. Things are unusually peaceful as he snoozes away without a care in the world…


Except for the fact that when morning comes, he wakes to what can only be Megumi shaking at him incessantly. A weight climbs onto his bed and pulls at him, and then is shaking him again, and then is pulling at him again, and then- 


“Appa!” Megumi basically shouts into his ear. “I’m hungry!”


“Wh- Ow-!” Sion’s confused, barely awake and covering his poor ear. Is he still dreaming? He can name the amount of times Megumi has woken him up in her whole life on three goddamn fingers, the needy infant phase included. He squints his eyes open over at his alarm clock. It’s only seven. Sion looks back at his kid, who is looming over him, and feels… very lost. “You’re up so early, honey. Is something wrong?”


“It’s ‘cause I’m hungry,” Megumi says simply. She crawls into his arms and flops down against his chest and Sion lets her do as she pleases. Though, of course, Megumi doesn’t even acknowledge Sion’s groan as she throws her weight against him. “And I didn’t get any Appa time yesterday…”


So that’s why Megumi’s up so early - she wants to hang out, huh. Sion smiles something a little tired and fond as he pats a hand down her back. His eyes slowly, slowly drift back closed. “Sometimes Appa has to help out the neighbors, baby…”


“Okay,” Megumi parrots, “but Appa also has to cuddle me.”


It’s so- she’s such a little know-it-all. Sion knows he shouldn’t entertain it but he laughs into her hair and squeezes her close. “Yah, you’re so spoiled. Hm? Appa spends allllll his time with you.” He smacks a kiss to her cheek. She giggles.


“Yup,” Megumi says, absolutely no shame at all. She buries her face into his chest. It’s rare for her not to comment on the fact that he’s shirtless. “I don’t wanna share...”


“Aigo. What am I gonna do with you.” Sion lets her burrow all she wants, of course, because he always does. It’s too early for him to worry about how Megumi would handle the concept of Sion dating someone. Or even just spending time away from her. He already knows it won’t be easy and that’s…


That’s a problem for Future Sion. There’s no need to torture himself now. It’s not like he knows how to manage Megumi’s clinginess half the time anyway.


“Food,” she reminds him. Then she blows a raspberry into his chest. Sion blanches.


“Ugh, don’t- you little troublemaker-” He tries to push her off of him but Megumi’s surprisingly strong and attacks him with another one. Sion lets out a long whine, pained. “Gumi, please…”


She laughs. “It’s what you get.” And then she gives him one more.


“Why are you being so naughty,” Sion bemoans, though he’s laughing a little. “Yah, I’m never letting Yushi babysit you again.”


But eventually they manage to get up out of bed - as hunger is making both of their bellies growl - and not long after that, they’re ready for the day. Because of the special occasion (Sion locking down Megumi’s teacher, that is), they go out for breakfast. And yeah, Megumi can’t know about that, so Sion uses the excuse that he ‘just feels like it.’ She’s not suspicious, at least. The single diner in town has a few Western foods and anything to quell her pancake addiction helps Sion out anyway.


“But you have to keep your volume down,” he tells her as they walk into town, hand in hand. The early morning breeze is cool but soon enough the sun will be scorching. “I know you’ve got a lot of energy, honey, but be a little mindful…”


“I am mindful,” she replies. Which is debatable. But Megumi’s actually better behaved around the elderly, which are the only kind of people out at this hour on a Sunday, and so he will concede.


“Okay,” Sion smiles. “Then let’s get you some pancakes.”


They both get pancakes, actually. Megumi tries to weasel him into getting her a melon soda but not even securing a man like Riku can put Sion in a good enough mood to let her have that garbage for breakfast. So Megumi settles on milk and he gets coffee with a shitton of sugar. Yamamoto, who runs the joint, sends him a mildly judgey glance for it. But that’s not new. She’s weary of him and Megumi. She always has been, as so have most of the people in town…


Sion pretends he notices nothing. It could be because of Megumi’s social issues, it could be because of him being a single dad, it could be them talking in Korean, it could be literally anything. There’s no use in worrying. The two of them have too much on their plate to try to appease the judgy weirdos in this town, so. 


Megumi talks his ear off about nothing in particular while they wait for their food to come. She’s much more hyperactive in the mornings, so once or twice Sion has to remind her to keep it down, but otherwise she’s fine. She tells him about what she and Yushi did yesterday. They watched anime, played video games. They went out and got food with Sakuya and Ryo, something fast and greasy, which Sion has mixed feelings about.


“Ryo-nii, huh,” Sion says thoughtfully. Ryo is a good kid, Sion just doesn’t know him as well as he knows the others. He and Sakuya and Yushi’s families have been here forever. Ryo’s sweet but there’s something very mischievous in his eyes that makes Sion a little nervous, though not any more nervous than he is when leaving his very impressionable daughter with a little shit like Tokuno Yushi in charge. So, really, he can’t complain much when all of them are wanting to help him out.


“Ryo-nii’s super smart,” Megumi reports to Sion. “He knows more about monkeys than I do!”


And, well. If Ryo can match Megumi bar for bar, Sion’s hardly complaining. “That’s great, baby.” He thinks it’d be nice if Megumi made more friends with kids her age, or got to know even just one woman, but alas. Sion’s accepted his fate. 


At least the food is good. They eat relatively quickly because Megumi’s a girl who likes to hustle, and so Sion follows along with her tempo, slightly scared that she’s got big plans for him today. But first, as Megumi’s starting to get a hang of the respectful tone you use around the elderly, she puts her skills to the test as they leave the diner. And that is… it’s pretty funny, actually. She puts her hands to her belly and bows incessantly at the other tables on their way out, all full of older people who coo at her. Sion doesn’t have the heart to tell Megumi that she’s doing far too much. At least she’s learning, right?


“Ah, Sion-san, your little one has gotten so polite,” one Nagai-san coos.


Sion’s eye twitches. He can’t tell if that’s a thinly-veiled insult or not. But even so, he fakes a smile and bows his head. “Haha, thank you…”


Ultimately the day is their oyster. It’s rare that Sion can get Megumi up this early so he lets her decide what they do, which is apparently wander around town for a bit. There’s the bookstore, for one, where Sion somehow ends up purchasing two books because Megumi’s negotiation skills are getting a little too good. Then there’s the general store, which has toys and also anything else you could possibly hope to buy in a town this small. Megumi, as usual, doesn’t seem to care for any of the little-kid things. But they end up in the seasonal goods section and she suddenly asks: “Appa, can we go to the beach?”


“The beach?” Sion asks. That’s new. Megumi’s only been to the beach in Mokpo - which she loves - but they don’t currently live near any actual beaches. All of Japan is pretty much a coastline but in Kyoto, it’s… um. The places by the water aren’t exactly beach-like…


But, like. There are other places, surely, Sion just doesn’t know any. Maybe he should ask Riku.


“I wanna go to a beach. Like in Mokpo.” Megumi is looking through swimsuits, of all things. “Wouldn’t it be fun?”


“Oh. Yeah, it would.” Sion’s a little dumbstruck, mostly because he can’t believe it never occurred to him to take her to the beach while they were here. Is that weird? They moved around this time last year and he was too busy juggling Megumi’s petulance over leaving Korea to think much about those kinds of things. Going to the beach isn’t exactly the most common activity in Kyoto. There’s a lot of forest so people tend to go camping, but that would be very difficult for them…


Like, really. Megumi would do horribly if they went camping. She hates bugs and is not very fond of the outdoors as a whole, and for the life of him, Sion can’t figure out how to get her interested in any activity besides swimming.


“Okay. Then I need a swimsuit and goggles,” Megumi says matter-of-factly, picking out everything herself. She lands on a yellow one-piece and a matching pair of yellow goggles. “What about floaties?”


“In moderation,” Sion attempts. But she ends up picking out a giant inflatable shaped like a swan, never mind that she’s already a stronger swimmer than he is. So, you know, that’s that. 


They’ll have to go to the beach soon enough, huh?


They waddle home with their goods. Or at least Sion does, Megumi happily has her Appa carry everything for her. The two books she picked out are nonfiction accounts of the Hiroshima disaster. Sion would like to have put his foot down about it - you know, her staunch fascination with pretty grim and age-inappropriate things - but at this point the more she learns about Japan the easier time she has here. Which is… good? Or at least it’d be better if it weren’t because she likes reading about historical tragedies and natural disasters of all kinds. But again, at least Sion was able to flip through the books first and confirm that they weren’t too graphic, both of them being more objective historical retellings more than anything else. If he didn’t let her read, she’d be using the internet instead. And all Sion can do is pick his battles. 


If he restricts her too much, she starts getting defiant, and he barely has enough energy to deal with Megumi when she’s being agreeable...


“We’re home!” Megumi shouts when they get back. Then she’s yanking her goods out of Sion’s arms without any care for his safety.


“What happened to your manners,” Sion complains as he stumbles over his feet. “At least ask first!”


At least Megumi doesn’t cling to him once they’re back home. Though that’s because she’s excited to read her books while wearing her brand new swimsuit, which is a combination Sion lets her own because who is he to limit her potential. Megumi sprawls across the hardwood floors and starts reading the books at lightning speed. Sion puts on a fan for her. He’s glad he had to replace the tatami floors when they moved in - now it’s cooler in the summer. Tatami’s more comfortable but Megumi always complains that it gets too hot when they’re at the ryokan, which drives Yushi crazy because there’s no other Japanese kid on earth who would complain about such a thing, according to him. “Do you even teach her about her culture, hyung?” As if tatami floors are the pinnacle of Japanese culture.


Sion always shrugs. “Are you worried about her or are you protective of the ryokan?” That always shuts Yushi up. It’s a learning curve anyway. Megumi’s so detached from Tsuchiko that Sion’s not sure if she really sees herself as Japanese, which is…


Well. He’s kind of at a loss for how the hell he’s supposed to navigate that. But as all things, he’s learning with time.


Tsuchiko’s family is incredibly well off. And that’s putting it lightly. They’re not quite chaebol level but at a certain point all wealthy people are the same. Her dad’s business cycles between Japan and Korea. Megumi is technically an heir, though trying to imagine Megumi taking any part in a fortune global 500 business is extremely funny. Tsuchiko’s parents tried to pay Sion off so they could raise Megumi in his stead - they wanted to raise their business’ lineage, not their grandchild - but of course Sion was having none of that. They settled on the deal that when Megumi turns of age they can offer her a place at the company and she can decide what she wants to do about it. Though Sion’s extremely doubtful that Tsuchiko’s family cares enough about her to uphold their end of the bargain. And that’s fine. It’s not like Megumi is going to want anything to do with them anyway, or at least not at this rate, though Sion would be supportive if she did.


But truth be told, Megumi would be an absolute disaster in a position that’s that stuffy and uptight. She’s much too busy daydreaming to uphold a family legacy, let alone one that she wants no part in. Sion tries to remind her every now and again that she is, in fact, half Japanese, and as such she should indulge in Kyoto now that they’re here. But she really prefers speaking in Korean, eating Korean food, watching Korean shows, talking to their Korean family…


For sure, she’s Sion’s kid. He’s both proud of her and anxious for that very reason. But alas.


Sion zones out while Megumi reads, sitting on the couch and staring blankly at the TV. It’s only ten. He’s just glad that his kid’s entertaining herself because their shopping spree took it out of him. And now that Megumi wants to go to the beach… hm. It’s making him realize that he forgot to plan for the break that’s about to start. This is going to be their first full summer here and Sion… erm, well.


He maybe forgot about the impending scheduling nightmare that would be her summer break. Maybe. And maybe that’s coming around to bite him in the ass, now. 


…Or, well. Maybe.


God, Megumi’s gonna need to be looked after. Sion’s been thinking about letting her hang out at the ryokan, though that’ll put unnecessary stress on Yushi because she loves bothering him. Tsugumi already volunteered to watch both Maku and Megumi but she’s a kid herself. She’s plenty responsible but Sion doesn’t want her to waste her entire break on watching kids… though she’ll be watching Maku regardless… though Sachiko said something about Tsugumi having club obligations, didn’t she? So maybe they both need to be looked after? Sion’s definitely the one better off in that regard, as Megumi and Maku can hang around the ryokan. But again, actually watching them would end up on Yushi’s shoulders since Sion is the one running around the grounds all day, having to fix this and that…


Ugh. Parenting is so hard. 


Sion will think about that later because he’s a procrastinator and this is- he doesn’t want to work out logistics right now. So he closes his eyes and attempts to nap, perhaps, except that’s when his phone buzzes. Normally Sion would ignore his phone when he’s this tired but he already knows the text came from Riku, and Oh Sion is not going to pretend he wouldn’t prefer talking to his boyfriend over doing ninety-nine point nine percent of other things. So.


Sion squints an eye down at his phone and smiles when a message lights up his screen: Good morning, Sion-san. I hope you slept well!


God, he’s so cute. Almost immediately, Sion forgets about his exhaustion as he picks his phone up and types back: Sensei, you’re up so late today. Did you stay up past your bedtime?


The response comes after a moment: Maybe... 


Sion shouldn’t tease, not in the first twenty four hours of them dating, but he just can’t help himself. Riku’s petulance is so sweet and the way he plays into the teasing is really- it’s nice. And it only makes him want to be a little meaner, but that’s not something Riku is allowed to know.


So Sion asks: And why were you up so late?


It’s dumb. He almost chuckles when Riku’s response comes through, though he has to stifle it or else Megumi will get all nosy about what he’s up to. There was someone on my mind… someone handsome…


Sion grins a terribly wide grin and asks: Hm? Reallyyyy?


Riku replies with a frowny face. Ah, it’s just so hard not to poke at him. For someone who seemed eager to make moves early on, Riku’s so shy now. How’s that even possible? It was Riku who was needling with nonstop questions for so long and yet now he’s acting so whiny about it. It makes Sion wonder if he dreamt up the last month or if Riku really is as petulant as he comes across.


Sorry, I’ll stop, Sion sends to him. You’re cute.


Riku sends a smiley face. And then: what are you up to?


Sion looks up at where Megumi’s still sprawled out just to check on her. But she’s still deep in her book and manspreading to her heart’s content, and that is… Sion frowns. He might be raising her to be a little too much of a boy. In the stereotypically bad way, you know, in that she has no respect for the space she takes up and absolutely no spatial awareness in general. Megumi needs to work on her manners. That’s not even a gendered thing, it’s just that Sion’s own mom went easy on him and now he has no idea how to raise her properly. Meanwhile Maku is like a little gentleman. He makes Megumi look like she was raised in a fucking barn. 


Which is- well. That’s not too far from the truth, is it. Sion huffs to himself and goes back to his phone. That’s another problem for Future Sion…


Megumi’s reading books about Hiroshima. I’m watching TV. He’s actually just letting the Return of Superman play on and on in the background, but Riku doesn’t need to know that. So Sion tells him: She was dragging me around this morning. I’m tired T_T


You poor dad, Riku sends. Which does make Sion feel some type of way, distantly. And then: I’m going to say something embarrassing.


Sion blinks at that. Because it’s just… he’s not really sure what that means, especially coming from Riku. He’s shy and has these moments where you can tell he’s trying really, really hard to come off as suave. Which is very endearing. But this is new, this… what? He’s phrasing it like some kind of declaration.


So, smiling a little bit, Sion sends: ?


But devastatingly enough, all Riku says is: I miss you today.


For a second Sion can’t compute that, not completely. But then he’s- he goes so red so fast. No one’s said that kind of thing to him since he was, like, in high school, and it’s just- from Riku, it’s so cute. It’s so nice. Sion feels crazy. 


He wants to pull this man into his arms and keep him there. It’s palpable, Sion’s need. His heartrate speeds up and his stomach churns and his mind even chides him: Just from one text, Sion, really? Really?


And, yeah. Just from one text, really…


I miss you, too. Sion has a very hard time not adding in a pet name but, you know, with due time or whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow! Those texts can’t convey everything he wants them to, but it’s a start.


Except Riku is so- his next text is so sweet that Sion damn-near aches. But I only get to see you at school for a few minutes…


Sion has to cover his face with one hand so he doesn’t screech or something. He wants to- he needs to, like, punch a pillow. Fuck. This is so cute it’s making him aggressive. Sion had no idea a grown-ass man could give him cuteness aggression to this extent, but alas, Riku is terrible for his wellbeing. 


He… he doesn’t even know what to say. So Sion settles on something teasing so Riku doesn’t realize that he’s, like, melting. Hm~ You want to see me more? When?


It gets worse, though. Riku answers: All the time.


This is bad. Sion didn’t realize that Riku would be like this, so genuine and sweet that it makes him need to chew on leather or something. Normally Riku hovers somewhere between shy and firm and that’s what Sion’s used to, you know, that makes him easy to tease. But this version of Riku is- ugh. How is he so cute?


You have to stop doing this to me. You’re so cute. I want to eat you. Sion deletes the last part, but his point still stands. So he asks instead: When’s your break tomorrow? I’ll meet you.


Sion stares down at his phone expectantly. Riku takes a long moment to answer. Longer than he usually does. But then his response reads: I take my break when the kids eat. Around twelve. But you don’t have to meet up with me…


I do, Sion types, because he actually does if Riku really misses him so much. How long do you get? An hour? Let’s meet at the park.


Riku takes another few moments but then he sends three texts.


Okay…


You’re really sure?


Don’t lead me on!!


That makes Sion laugh out loud. He looks over at Megumi, half scared she’ll bully her way into his side and demands to know what’s so funny, but she’s fully engrossed in her book. So Sion grins and grins and grins because he feels so… wow. He’s so fond of this man that it physically hurts. 


Riku, I won’t lead you on. Let’s spend some time together. I miss you too.


It’s vulnerable - so vulnerable that Sion cringes - but he gets a wall of hearts and a lot of very happy kaomojis in response to that. So, you know. Things aren’t going all that bad, not really.


All of this is kind of silly. In a way Sion wonders if he’s playing with fire. He’s not really pushing too hard with the boyfriend label - he’s trying to keep things simple for now, or at least until their date - because he’s still figuring out some things in his mind. Like the Megumi situation. That’s a big glaring contradiction Sion has to justify to himself, the risk they’re taking when Megumi has only just started to settle down in Japan. But he can’t stew too much when he’s faced with the full force of Riku’s affection. 


The next day they meet up at the park during their lunch break; they sit together on a bench that can’t be seen by the road. Riku leans against his shoulder. Sion isn’t in the habit of eating much of a lunch, but for some reason Riku ends up feeding him about half of his bento.


“I know what you’re doing,” Sion huffs a little. Their fingers intertwine. He squeezes. “You need to eat too…”


“I don’t care,” Riku says. He presses a baby tomato to Sion’s lips. “Say ‘ahhh.’”


It’s bad. Sion likes him too much, so he obliges so easily. He’s soft on most people in general but with Riku he’s worse, because he’s always worse when he dates someone. It makes it hard not to fall too hard, too fast, it makes it hard to slow down. But Sion forces himself to take things very slowly even when he wants to cup Riku by the jaw and kiss him until his lips are bitten red.


But that’s- Sion just has to focus on doing everything in moderation. Right? Right.


Ugh. It’s not like Sion isn’t scared. No, not even them dating will change how terrified he is about, like, all of this. Sion has very little confidence in himself and it’s still surprising to him every time Riku leans in to nuzzle into his neck or his shoulder or his bicep. It feels like he’s playing with fire for real - this man could ruin him so easily. 


Sion is so delicate. He’s been in denial about that for a long time, but he really is. And that makes it hard to go about this new relationship calmly, at least…


“You’re- you’re like a cat, did you know that?” Sion pets over Riku’s hair. It’s beyond him why Riku likes getting so close when he’s sweaty and greasy from work. But his boyfriend only snuggles up to him, closing his eyes as Sion’s fingers trail over his head. 


“I’ve heard that before,” Riku agrees easily. “That I’m like a black cat or whatever…”


Sion is insane. He’s a millisecond away from asking who the hell’s seen you like this before, except that’s stupid because of course Riku has been like this with other people. For god’s sake, they’ve only been dating for a day. He’s so insecure. 


(And he knows that’s Tsuchiko’s doing but he would prefer not to dwell on that right now. So.)


“Yeah, well.” Sion tries to keep his voice even like he’s not jealous and he can’t tell how well it works. “Well, you’re cute.” He presses a kiss to Riku’s forehead and tries to stay nonchalant about the way it makes him blush.


“You’re cute, too,” Riku plays with his fingers. He yawns. “Sorry, I’m so tired…”


“Don’t fall asleep now, baby,” Sion chides on impulse. “You’ve got work.”


He doesn’t even realize he let the petname slip until Riku stills against him. Sion has to manually backtrack and realize what he said, and then-


“Uh, sorry,” he says. “I- I’ve got a habit.”


Riku gives him a sideways look. He doesn’t look bothered, though, his ears are a little pink. “I know. You’re like that with Gumi.” Riku glances down at his hands and rubs Sion’s thumb between two fingers. His mumble is almost petulant: “But I’m not your kid, I’m your boyfriend…”


God, he’s so sweet in the exact way that Sion is weak to. He presses into Riku’s side and says: “Hey, that’s not it.” He’s a little too delighted when Riku turns to him, their eyes meeting. “Gumi’s my baby, but so are you… kinda. If you’d like to be.” Sion licks his lips. “In, um. A very different way?”


Riku flushes a little. But again, he doesn’t seem bothered. He’s just a tiny bit petulant. Riku rests his head against Sion’s shoulder and asks, voice coy: “In what kind of way?”


And, well. If he needs an example, Sion can show him one. He brushes their noses together and tells him: “Like this. Pay attention.” And he kisses him.


It’s slow, easy. It’s not particularly heated, either. Sion can’t help but notice that Riku’s got this habit of melting into him when he’s being kissed, which makes it very difficult not to pull him in closer and kiss him meaner. But Sion doesn’t do that. Of course not. He gives him a long, very normal kiss before pulling away. 


“...Hm.” Riku’s ears are red. “I don’t mind it, I guess.”


Sion would probably be more offended if Riku didn’t then hide his face in his shoulder while squeezing his hand. They’re both nervous, huh. Sion huffs out a laugh and runs his hand over his hair again. “So you’re okay with being my baby, huh?”


Riku’s face presses harder into him. His mumble comes out shy. “Mm. Yeah.”


“What else?” Sion asks. He doesn’t mean to tease but he’s feeling very, very tempted. “Do you-”


“Anything…” Riku squeezes his hand. “But I also want a special nickname. One that Gumi doesn’t get.” He nuzzles into Sion’s arm. God, he’s so cute, Sion feels like he’s losing his mind. He wants to say it all the time. Riku, do you know how cute you are? It makes me feel crazy. You make me so, so crazy...


But Sion can’t help his grin. “Okay, okay. I’ll think of one.” That’s gonna be hard, though. He’s already in the habit of calling his kid every pet name under the sun. It’s just habit. But there’s gotta be something, right? Something more… what, romantic? More doting? Sion hasn’t put this much thought to anyone besides Megumi in at least three years, so the idea of doting on anyone like he does on her seems impossible…


But then Riku mumbles, his voice still petulant: “It has to be a good one, Sion-san.”


Sion laughs this time. “It will be!”


They don’t see each other for lunch everyday, but most days they do. It makes pick up and drop off time a lot less charged than it could be, and yeah, that’s the best word Sion can think to use to describe their whole- their vibe. He started coming in a little later so he doesn’t get sidetracked by other parents and he can keep Riku’s attention all to himself. Daeyoung sends them side-eye the whole time, but considering what Sion’s managed to weasel out of Yushi about that kid, he doesn’t feel bad in the least.


“Hi, Sensei,” Sion grins to Riku as Megumi flies at him. “And hi to you too, baby.”


“Appa…” Megumi buries her head in his stomach. “I missed you..”


The funny thing is that Megumi’s gotten a tad more expressive outside of the times it’s just the two of them, which Sion is greatly endeared by. He’s not sure if the field trip or her meltdown has more to do with it. He’s certainly not complaining either way. Anything to quell her social anxiety around other kids is something he’s grateful for.


“I missed you so much, honey,” Sion brings her into his arms and squeezes her. “Were you good, hm?”


“Yes,” Megumi says in a purposefully innocent voice. Yeah, right. He looks at Riku, who’s already looking at him. 


“She was good,” he promises. “She’s getting a little more comfortable with the other kids…”


Sion looks down at Megumi, who’s already trying to fuse into his neck. “Are you?”


“Not really,” Megumi mumbles, a little too honest like she always is. But it’s not like he expected any other answer. Sion’s always thought that Megumi’s inability to mince her words was cute. He laughs. 


“That’s fine. My Gumi’s so well-behaved, hm?” He grins when she giggles. “Of course you are. ‘Cause you’re Appa’s good girl.”


Megumi is easily pleased by the praise, that’s why Sion showers it on her. But when he looks back at Riku, he’s a little flushed. Which is- it’s curious. He’s not meeting Sion’s gaze, either, which has been a work in progress ever since they started dating. Riku’s willingness to make eye contact drastically changes by the day, but this is still…


Hm… why does this feel different from the usual shyness?


“Sensei, was anything off today?” Sion asks Riku, opting not to question him too much. But he watches closely as Riku’s hands wring together in his lap and he avoids his eyes. How interesting.


“Not really…” Riku is acting so embarrassed all of a sudden. He’s so cute. If it were just the two of them Sion would do something about that, but with Megumi he can’t prod at him much. Or at least not besides reaching out to squeeze Riku’s shoulder and purposely running a thumb over his collarbone. Sion likes to think he’s subtle about it though the truth is slightly debatable. 


“Then I’ll get going so I can feed her…” He drawls out his voice in the way he only does to get Riku’s attention. Sion’s curious what there is to be embarrassed about, but now isn’t the time to ask. So he just smiles when Riku finally glances up at him. “And I’ll see you tomorrow. Okay?”


Riku licks his lips. He nods. “I’ll see you tomorrow…”


God. Sion has to pull away or else he’ll feel really tempted to kiss him. So he shoulders Megumi’s bag and sends a little bow Daeyoung’s way. There are no other parents watching but Sion is still playing it safe. He’d be risking too much if he didn’t.


“Bye, Sensei, Daeyoung-san,” Sion waves. “Gumi?”


“Bye bye,” Megumi calls half-heartedly. She’s exhausted. Sion laughs, bows again, and off they go.


It’s good. Things are surprisingly easy like this, like to the extent it’s hard to believe that Sion was in such staunch denial just a few weeks ago. But Riku has made it very, very difficult for him to deny the obvious. The field trip was one thing, but the fact that Riku was able to calm Megumi down from a meltdown is still insane to him. It’s not a particularly difficult task if you know how to handle kids like her, but Megumi doesn’t usually listen to anyone during her episodes unless she really trusts them. And yet she had curled up in Riku’s lap without a second thought. She had known that Riku would keep her safe. Of all people, huh, it’s Riku who she trusts…


That’s not insignificant to Sion. Not at all. And then there was the cake thing, and then the confession, and with each day any feeling of regret Sion had is slowly fading away. I really like you. That’s what he was thinking that night. I like you so much. You see me in a way that no one else does. I can’t help but like you. So he doesn’t regret it. Or at least not yet. But Sion needs to kick his habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop, god fucking help him, so he tells himself that things are good because they literally are. 


The next two weeks pass by easily. They keep up their schedule and Sion is still holding himself back, though that’s for his own sake more than Riku’s. He can’t afford to get impulsive again; that’s the main thing he keeps in mind. The festival is only days away and Sion thinks he’ll ask Riku out properly then, you know, schedule a proper date. It feels like a good time to take the metaphorical plunge. There aren’t a lot of date spots in their town - especially not if you’re a gay couple, ugh - but he can come up with something. Yushi is more than ready to babysit on his behalf anyway. 


Sion just needs to go for it. And he will. Just… not yet. 


He brainstorms over it in the week leading up the festival. You know, secluded restaurants or romantic spots in the woods that aren’t creepy, things like that. But it’s the night before the festival when Sion gets a text shortly after putting Megumi down for bed. He’s sprawled across the couch and half-paying attention to a k-drama his sister's been raving about when his phone buzzes.


Is this a good photo to send to him??? I’m being serious. Don’t make a joke or I’ll cry.


Immediately, Sion is very confused. He opens the text from Riku and attached is a selfie. It’s of him, obviously, fresh out of the shower in loose clothes. Riku’s pouting at the camera. He’s… so cute. But then Sion returns back to the message and doesn’t quite know what to say.


So: ?


A response comes immediately. LDFHJFKJHFJKFJ. And then: IGNORE THAT> PLEAISE


Sion raises an eyebrow. Oh, okay. So it was for someone else? Daeyoung, maybe? He’s half-flattered, half-jealous. He pouts down at his phone and reminds Riku: But you look so cute, baby.


Riku doesn’t even respond in words. He sends an embarrassed LINE emoji and Sion huffs out a laugh to himself. Ah, so he’s being really shy about it. That’s so sweet. It’s hard to be jealous much when he gets a reaction like that…


So Sion replies: What are you so shy for? Hm? You already know you’re handsome, kitty. That was the nickname he ended up deciding on. It suits Riku enough, would be weird to say to his kid, is perfectly affectionate. It checks all the boxes. 


Except Riku doesn’t respond for a full minute. And then two. And then three full minutes pass and that is… a little too long. Eventually Sion sits up a little and stares down at his phone.


He thought Riku was just being shy, but now… Did he- did he take it too far, somehow? Sion thought the petname was cute. But maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s too much, maybe it’s too soon, maybe he’s being too presumptuous. Sion’s biting his bottom lip and about to type out an apology when-


….Sorry. Something came up. I had to do a thing….


You’re also…. yup.


Riku’s next LINE emoji is a thumbs up. Fucking hell.


Sion’s in disbelief how one person could make him feel like this, like how he feels so fond that he could die. Sion’s heart is racing, even, like he’s back in high school and crushing on the prettiest boy in his class. Riku isn’t suave at all. And yet he has these moments where his sincerity catches Sion so off guard that he doesn’t know what to say.


So he grins and he types: I’m also…..?


Riku idles for several moments. And then a text comes through. Even on his phone Sion can imagine Riku saying it so petulantly: You’re also beautiful.


Sion’s grin widens: Really? He doesn’t mean to tease, like actually, but it’s very hard not to.


And Riku’s answer is so simple, so very him: Yes….


Oh, wow. He’s really something else. Sion is half-tempted to run across town right now and kiss him because he should be kissed, right now, except he can’t do that because of the sleeping kid. Obviously. Obviously. But feeling so giddy he could pass out, Sion sends: Really~~~~~? My kitty thinks I’m beautiful~~~?


Riku’s answer comes immediately. Yes.


And, well. Sion just laughs to himself because he’s so fucking happy. Wow. Wow, Riku makes him so happy.


It’s bad. Sion goes to bed that night grinning to himself. He doesn’t think he really has the right to be so happy, what with everything hanging in the balance of his decisions. Sion’s so used to walking the tightrope. Every step he takes could be detrimental. He is used to the act. He is used to precarious situations, every nerve ending in his body is familiar with the feeling that comes when he slips and then therein follows the dredges of fear and terror and the urge to run, run, run.


But that night he dreams of a familiar smile and warm arms around his neck. “Riku,” Sion says. “Riku.”


“That’s not what you call me.” Even in his dreams Riku is so sweet that it makes him ache.


So Sion calls him: “Kitty.” Riku kisses him. “My kitten.” Riku kisses him again. “You’re so beautiful, I don’t know what to-”


“Stop talking,” Riku tells him. And so he does.


It’s an innocent dream all things considered. It’s incredibly innocent. And Sion wakes up in the morning with a smile on his face like a stupid, incredibly selfish, gigantic idiot. He laughs into his hands in the quiet of his bedroom, as the birds chirp outside, as his life finally moves on.


No, he doesn’t regret it at all. Not even a tiny bit. And Oh Sion is so fucking happy that he could cry.



 ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 



…Er, okay. Well. Maybe he was just a little wrong about that. A few hours later Sion arrives at the school festival and is immediately overwhelmed. And that’s kind of an inevitability, sure, but given both his and Megumi’s… tendencies, you could call them. It’s just a bit overstimulating.


So, you know. He’s not really riding that wave of boyfriend-induced euphoria anymore. But it was great while it lasted.


The sheer volume and amount of people is just an unfortunate side effect of the school system. Their town has one building for all the kids from early elementary school all the way up to high school, and for some reason the principal insists on the festival and sports day being held at once so the younger kids don’t feel left out. Which means, in turn, the whole town is here to check everything out. Sion and Megumi are both standing in the entrance to the grounds, staring down at the mass of people ahead of them. Sion sends a glance down at his daughter and they exchange similarly weary looks. 


“We can go home, Appa,” Megumi offers. Never mind that she’s kind of mandated to be here. Though that doesn’t mean the suggestion isn’t very, very tempting.


“Hey, no, we’re gonna have fun,” Sion insists as the adult here, no matter that he’d much rather be back home and cuddling with his kid than fighting through the crowds. Now he’s glad that he told Yushi not to come. It’s just…


Wow. This is their first time at a Japanese school festival. This is just a lot. 


Half the grounds are taken up by booths and the other half is ready for all the activities of sports day. Sion’s been doing cursory research online as to mentally prepare himself for today, but even so, the scale of the festivities are bigger in real life. He takes Megumi’s hand and reminds her: “We have to check out your classroom, remember?” 


The second graders have a much simpler concept on display. It’s an art project they all collaborated on together, apparently - Riku told him to stop by the classroom before doing anything else. So Sion nudges her towards the direction of the school building even as Megumi’s feet begin to drag.


“I don’t wanna,” she pulls a face when Sion drags her along, hiding half behind him. Sion can’t tell if it’s because of the festival being overwhelming or if there’s something about her class’s display that she doesn’t care for.


Hm… it’s hard to tell. Megumi’s so oblivious in a lot of ways but when it comes to her hard work being displayed publicly - or when any kind of attention is rained down on her - she starts getting shy. Or, Sion would consider it to be more like ‘severely anxious,’ but she’s only seven.


And yet:


“But Appa wants to see what you did.” Sion tries to keep his voice level as they head into the school and climb up the stairs to the second floor. Megumi sticks close by but she’s suddenly so shy, almost defiant when Sion approaches the classroom doorway. He sighs when he feels her starting to pull away: “Gumi…”


“It’s embarrassing,” she murmurs. How the hell a little kid can be so embarrassed by so many things is beyond him. 



“Well, Appa’s dying to see what you made. You want me to carry you?” Sion knows that he needs to stop babying her but desperate times call for desperate measures. And at least coddling her always works - Megumi nods, and so Sion hauls her up into his arms. This way she can hide if she needs to. Sion pats her on the back. “Come on, Sensei told me to take a look…”


He peeks into the open classroom door. There are already plenty of parents milling about, and so Sion makes sure to smile and bow his way around the room even though he gets vaguely-judgy looks for carrying around a kid as big as Megumi. Which, okay, is fair. But more importantly, there’s a huge wooden panel on display at the front of the room, probably as tall as him and much, much wider. It’s a mural. 


And, well. Okay. It’s… it’s a mural that was clearly painted by seven year-olds. So it looks exactly like you’d expect a mural painted by seven year-olds to look and Sion has to take a full minute to keep his composure because he is- he’s a supportive parent, okay?!


“W-wow, Gumi…” Sion isn’t laughing because that’d be mean. But Megumi’s a good artist and he’s not quite prepared for how terrible the other kids in her class are at painting. There are a lot of… abstract shapes. Sion prods her. “Which part did you do, hmm?”


He asks it even though it’s obvious. In one corner there’s a very highly-detailed painting of a monkey and… a man? For a second Sion wonders if that’s supposed to be him, but it’s different from how Megumi normally draws him.


Sion moves in to get a closer look. “It’s Sensei,” Megumi murmurs as Sion oohs and ahhs over her work. It’s kind of funny. Megumi’s never shy about her drawings, and yet she’s acting all petulant right now.


“Aigo, you’re so good as always. My Gumi’s so talented.” Sion smiles a wide smile because he’s really, really proud of her, especially when all the other kids can’t even draw proper circles. So Sion pulls out his phone. “I need to get some photos, baby, or else your Halmeoni’s gonna be mad.” He tries putting her down but Megumi’s clinging to his neck like the idea terrifies her.


“But it’s embarrassing,” Megumi whines. “I don’t- Appa!”


“What, I’m scared of your Halmeoni! We need to show her!” Sion says, admonished, because he is. His mom is quite staunch about seeing all of Megumi’s art and she demands to be sent everything that her pencil touches, god forbid Sion gets in the way of his mother’s access to her favorite - and only, technically - grandkid. So he tries prying Megumi off of him to no avail, only chiding: “Come on, we can show your cousins…”


“That’s worse,” Megumi whines. Loudly. She’s not anywhere near meltdown territory but her volume turns some heads. Megumi’s a pretty teasing kid who plays petulant to get laughs but this is different - why is she acting so embarrassed now? She’s easily the best artist in this class! And by several years of rigorous practice, too! 


So Sion… he needs to redirect. He looks around the room, desperate for any kind of distraction. Luckily for him, Riku’s busy talking to Sachiko and Maku, which is- that’s good. At least Maku’s mom got some time off. But Riku and Sachiko are the only two other adults in this room Sion knows well enough to ask for help, so he approaches them, ignoring the way Maku hides into Sachiko’s side upon his arrival.


“Sorry to interrupt, I thought I’d say hi,” Sion bows his head. He sends a smile to Sachiko, then Riku. “The mural’s so nice, Sensei.”


“It is, right?” Riku’s ears are pink but he grins. “And Gumi-chan’s work is-”


“Ugh,” Megumi groans into Sion’s neck. She’s being so angsty today and he doesn’t know why. So Sion mouths to Riku and Sachiko: She’s being sensitive.


“Ah, Maku, show Sion-san what you did,” Sachiko prods her own son. Though she’s a lot tougher of a mom than Sion is - she grins when Maku shoots her a horrified look. “What? You’re talented too!”


“I’m really not…” Maku huffs. But he gestures to an incredibly tiny section of the mural with a lot of… they look like blobs and stick figures, maybe. It’s hard to tell. Maku’s face goes red and he stares down at the ground.


“Wow!” Sion tries, like, so earnestly. “S-so you’re both gifted-!”


Maku makes a face like he knows he’s lying. Which, okay, is fair. It’s good that he’s self aware. But Sion turns to Riku and tries smiling something calm even though Megumi’s still huffing and puffing at him. He offers his phone out to his boyfriend.


“Can you take a photo for us? I want to show Megumi’s grandparents…” He sends side-eye to his daughter. And then he adds: “Which is non-negotiable.”


“I don’t wanna,” Megumi complains. Loudly.


Sion’s smile twitches but he doesn’t relent because for god’s sake, this is the one fucking thing she’s normally proud about and his parents will pay a shaman to curse him or something if he doesn’t send them every possible angle of her art. He only mouths at Riku: Please.


Riku nods reassuringly. “Of course.”


So Sion stands next to the mural while Megumi refuses to show her face. But that doesn’t matter, his parents know how petulant she is and he’s sure as hell not forcing her. Sion smiles for the camera anyway. “Gumi,” he prods her, “Cheese!”


And Megumi does not, in fact, cheese with him. Which is fine. They can have words later. 


Riku has to go help a few other parents but he pats Sion warmly on the shoulder before sliding away, and the affection is enough to fuel Sion into another round of bargaining with his whiny daughter. He takes a few close up photos of Megumi’s work. “I’m just saying, your Halmeoni wants to see your cute face,” Sion sing-songs. “She misses her prettiest grandkid. She whines at me ‘cause you never show her your smile…”


Megumi isn’t so easily swayed. Of course she isn’t, she’s the most suspicious seven year-old in the fucking world. But she peeks out of Sion’s neck and asks, not so easily convinced: “...Really? I’m the prettiest…?”


Sion stares at her. “Yah, of course.” He’s actually a little offended by that reaction. Who the hell wouldn’t- he squeezes her. “What, you don’t think you’re pretty? You’re the cutest thing in the world. I worked hard on that face of yours, you know, you have great genes.”


But Megumi presses her cheek to his. She’s pouting. “I dunno…”


Sion can’t tell if the aegyo is on purpose or not - he doesn’t think Megumi has realized her face is a weapon, but he can never be too sure. So, despite himself, Sion pleads a little. “Please? Halmeoni will be so happy to see your face, baby. You can go on the fridge…” That's a real incentive; his cousins’ kids get their best work put on the fridge and Megumi is way more competitive than she lets on. She’s been wrestling for prime real estate on that thing for as long as she’s been able to hold a paintbrush in her hand.


Megumi even makes a thoughtful noise like she’s considering it. “Really?”


Sion can’t let her realize how fucking exasperated this conversation is making him feel, but that’s because she’s seven and young kids often have this habit of drawling out everything way longer than it should take. But he promises, his voice edging on desperation: “Really.”


At least Megumi seems to find these terms acceptable, thank fucking god. She wriggles for Sion to put her down and stands next to her part of the mural, letting her bangs hang in her face as she stares down at the ground.


Sion isn’t someone who asks for more than he should, but just once, he dares: “Smile?”


Megumi shakes her head. And, well. At least he tried.


The photos turn out well, though. Megumi’s a really cute kid. Her head is almost perfectly circular and even hiding her face like that, you can still see her pout. God, Sion’s gonna be beside himself when she loses her baby fat. He doesn’t dare hope that it’s his genes that make Megumi so outrageously adorable, but a guy can dream. Didn’t Riku say she has his pout…? So surely…?


Sion stares at each photo with way too big of a smile. His eyes actually might be watering. “There we go,” Sion sniffles as he swipes through the lot of them, because yeah, he took about eighty pictures in one go. “Aw, Gumi, baby, you’re so pretty. You’re getting all grown up…”


This is a weird time for Sion to get emotional but he can’t help it. Megumi’s shot up since they came to Japan. She’s pretty tall for her age, just like he was. She’s still got a round face but some of her features are maturing little by little. The more Sion looks, the more she’s morphing into him, and that is- ah, maybe she really does look like him, huh? Sion doesn’t cry, but…


“Appa,” Megumi nudges him, “why are you crying.”


Okay, well. Maybe he’s crying just a little bit.


“I’m just so proud of you.” Sion wipes a few of his tears away. It’s just hard not to get emotional. Megumi’s his only kid. And it’ll probably be that way forever. He can’t imagine raising anyone besides her and she’s his pride and joy and he just- god. She’s so grown up. 


“Appa’s such a crybaby,” Megumi chides him, of course. She leans into his side and reaches up, up, up to wipe away a tear on his chin. “Aigooo.”


“Aigo,” Sion agrees. “Sorry. You’re getting so big and Appa’s so proud of you.”


Megumi’s a sensitive kid but she’s not emotional in the same way other sensitive children are. She’s pretty flatline most of the time, actually. But she’s always been more empathetic to Sion, which makes his heart fucking hurt as his little Megumi squeezes him into a hug. Her voice is so sweet: “I’m proud of you too, Appa.”


That only makes Sion cry more, but he laughs and holds her in closer. She’s really the best thing to ever happen to him, huh.


They leave the classroom not long after - it’s only getting more crowded and Riku’s too busy doing his job to spare Sion any attention, which he’s mildly bitter about. So he and Megumi head out to explore the festival. Sion’s mostly just interested in the food. Sports day is starting in an hour or so and he needs sustenance if he’s gonna be out in the heat, especially since Megumi is so chronically unathletic and his support is gonna be more… hypothetical. He’s pretty sure Megumi couldn’t give two shits about either the festival or the athletic competitions.


So as they wander about the stalls, Sion can’t help but ask: “Are you running in the relay? Or… any of it?”


Megumi chews on a beef skewer. She asked Sion for one because it was the first stall they saw, and, well. “Nope. I’m not running at all. Everyone said I’m too slow.”


It’s not funny. It’s really not. But Sion almost snickers. He used to feel bad for the way Megumi’s left out of anything physical because she’s deadly unathletic, but in all honesty, she’s completely unbothered by it. Though he still intends on making her do soccer in the fall. Or… no, yeah, that’s probably his only option. 


“Aw, but you’re still cheering with your class, right?” Sion stops when he sees a stall selling takoyaki. It’s yummy, plus Megumi hates octopus so he doesn’t have to share. 


“Yeah,” Megumi sighs like her life is incredibly difficult. “Sensei says I have to.”


Sion grins. “Your Sensei’s right. You have to get some spirit in you~”


Sion’s still getting used to how Japanese school differs from the Korean kind. Out in the countryside things are different. There aren’t cram schools, not to the same extent, nor does Sion really intend on sending Megumi to any extra classes. She’s… smart enough, probably. She needs to start doing extracurriculars, though. As it is Megumi spends too much time inside and on the couch like a little bum. Seven years old is much too young to be a bum!


So they split a Pocari Sweat while they sit on a nearby bench. Megumi’s overheating in her uniform - Sion wipes down her forehead with a napkin and she does little more than make a face while she gulps the drink down.


“Cute,” Sion coos. And then he takes out his phone camera: “Pose!”


“Appa!” Megumi complains. “That’s not-” She pouts and that’s cute too, unfortunately. “That’s not nice!”


“It’s for your grandmother!” Sion tries defending himself, but her stink face is so severe that he ends up apologizing. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, honey. It’s just that our family’s all the way in Korea, right? They don’t get to see you grow…”


Megumi’s pout persists. But she’s not mad, not really, because she lets Sion wipe sauce off her mouth with only a little bit more squirming. It’s good that she bonded so closely with his family when they lived in Mokpo; she’s more understanding about those things. Though that doesn’t make her petulance any less severe. “I guess.”


“Eh, come on. Miyoungie started in college. She keeps bugging me, she wants to see you in your uniform.” Sion taps around on his phone to send the photos off to the big family group chat. “And Gunwook’s in high school now, so’s Minjae. Your older cousins wanna see you grow up, baby.”


Megumi crosses her arms and leans back against the bench. Sion grins when the photo of her drinking Pocari Sweat goes through and immediately a wave of compliments comes in. THAT’S OUR BABY and Megumi seriously looks nothing like you Sion-ah, lol, she’s so pretty, and aww she’s getting so grown up TT. Siyeon sends an audio message. She’s just screaming: “CUTE!”


“Your aunt is being very passionate,” Sion says, rolling his eyes. He sends to the groupchat: THOSE ARE MY GENES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. “Is there anything you want to say to the family?”


Except his phone is immediately blowing up with replies to his last message, and quite frankly, he doesn’t care for what these terrible people have to say to him. Sion frowns as his phone dings again and again. 


Those are not your genes!!! Are you fucking crazy??


Oppa, your ex wife sucks but that’s all her LOLOLOLOL


Eh~~~~ you were a weird looking kid, Gumi’s so pretty!


Okay, so. Okay, so, he’s gonna block all of his fucking cousins. They share genetics, do they even realize what they’re saying!


Megumi looks thoughtful, though. She always is whenever it comes to the family. As subtly as he can, Sion switches back to his camera and turns on a video. She’ll be pissed if she finds out but this could be enough to make him the favorite of his generation, you know, if he sends a video that goes viral in the group chat. Which this most certainly will.


“Megumi, baby,” he coos in Korean. “What do you want to say to your cousins?”


“I dunno.” She kicks her feet, staring at the ground. “I miss them. I wanna go home soon…” And then she doesn’t elaborate anymore besides: “I miss Choco Pies.”


Boom. You can count on Megumi to keep things brief, and even just that will cement him in the will forever. Sion sends the video to the chat and smiles. 


“We’re going back soon, honey.” Megumi’s not as crestfallen about the distance as she used to be but Sion knows she still misses everyone a lot. Sion’s family is gigantic and they all get along surprisingly well. Most of them are still in Mokpo. Megumi spent the majority of her childhood being surrounded by a huge group of people who love her to death despite the vast array of opinions they have about Sion’s decision-making in his twenties. Which is… well. He’s just gonna call all of that water under the bridge for the sake of harmony.


“I know.” Megumi mumbles. “But I want Halmeoni to- actually, never mind.” She blows her bangs out of her eyes and sighs out a deep, deep sigh like her life is incredibly harrowing. “Halmeoni would be mad that I’m not running...” Ah, so that’s what she’s getting all angsty about. 


That makes Sion laugh. Because well, it’s true. “Right? Hey, you’re lucky Appa lets you be lazy. We’re gonna have to sign you up for something.” Sion pinches Megumi’s cheek. “If you don’t exercise, you’re gonna wither away.”


“I won’t,” she pouts. But Megumi’s not that combative about it, at least. That’s good.


Sion has to put his phone on silent because apparently his family is waiting for more Gumi content instead of, like, working or whatever they should be doing in the middle of a weekday. But that’s fine. This is why he’s the favorite, he’s got the cutest kid. Sion fends off multiple requests for more videos. Don’t be greedy, he texts his cousins, she hates the camera. You want her to kill me, huh? Then where will you get your content from?


“Oi! Sion!” 


Sion looks up from his phone to see two familiar figures running towards him, one much bigger than the other. Of course it’s Sakuya and Ryo. They’re wearing their athletic uniforms. They look cute in them, even more boyish than usual.


“Hi, boys,” Sion grins. He wipes Megumi’s forehead again, who waves at them.


“You’re here for the festival?” Sakuya asks, a little out of breath. He sends Megumi a glance. “What do the second graders do?”


“They painted a mural.” Sion wants to show them photos but then Megumi will really throw a fit. “Gumi’s part was so good, she really-”


“Appa,” Megumi chides. Sion shuts his mouth. The other two snicker. 


“Are you running later, Gumi-chan?” Ryo asks her in a pitched voice. It’s kind of funny. He and Megumi aren’t too far off in size, considering they’ve got a ten year age gap. Sion doesn’t point that out, though, because Ryo’s a feisty kid no matter how sweet his little face makes him seem.


And, of course:


“I’m not running,” Megumi is as honest as ever. “I’m too slow.”


Ryo bursts into laughter but Sakuya smacks a hand over his mouth. Megumi’s indifferent to them as she always is, and honestly, Sion can’t blame Ryo for finding it funny. It’s not often you come across a kid her age who’s so self accepting. Sion wishes he could say that’s because of his parenting, but it’s really because Megumi is so ambivalent about anything she doesn’t care for. Or sometimes she just gets really, really combative. So Sion actually prefers this by a landslide.


“I’m trying to get her into soccer in the fall,” Sion tells Sakuya, who lets Ryo go after the smaller kid throws him off. He ignores the middle finger Ryo throws out and asks Sakuya: “Do you still have room on your team?”


“Yup. But I dunno if we’re doing a full season ‘cause I’ve got exams.” Sakuya scratches at his neck, also ignoring Ryo, who is huffing and puffing at him like an angry little dog. “I was gonna see if Yushi-nii could stand in, but he’s… uh…”


“Bad at teaching?” Sion suggests.


Sakuya laughs a little sheepishly as he avoids a kick to the back of his knees. “Well. Something like that, yeah…”


Sakuya and Ryo have some free time so Sion offers to get them food, which they are eager to take him up on. Megumi holds one of Sion’s hands hostage but she seems fine just kind of peeking around at everything in skepticism. Sion suspects she doesn’t understand the Japanese festival thing, or at least not really. Megumi’s not exactly the type of kid who gets sucked into school spirit. If anything, she seems weirded out.


But the boys, in comparison, seem to be enjoying their final school festival. “Our booth is a maid cafe,” Ryo tells Sion without any reservations. “And they wanted us to be maids.”


“We got out of it ‘cause Ryo’s the class pres,” Sakuya adds. “But then they wanted us to be butlers so we had to bribe half the class. It was bad.”


“Ah, yeah,” Sion smiles. That reminds him a bit of college. They do a similar thing at Korean universities although he was never much involved in those. But a few people called Sion the ‘Idol of the Business Majors’ and forced him into department activities. That was a weird time in his life…


“I wasn’t gonna be a maid, or else I woulda- hey, they’ve got yakitori!” Ryo cuts himself off, pointing off in the distance. He beams back at Sion, uncaring for their conversation at all. “Can we-?”


“Sure,” Sion laughs a little. Ryo’s really cute. And he’s still got his baby fat like Sakuya. Being a dad has really turned on that parental urge to dote. It’s getting bad.


Sion ends up buying skewers for all three of the kids. Apparently Megumi wants another one and he doesn’t see an issue with being indulgent if she’s not gonna be running anyway. Though she ends up only eating half of it; Sion finishes it for her gladly. Mm. That’s yummy. 


“This is so good,” Ryo has sauce all over his mouth. “We ran around all morning, I’m exhausted…”


Sion ignores the pressing urge to wipe at his face. “Really?”


“We set everything up,” Sakuya’s face, too, is covered in sauce. Sion’s hands are literally itching at his sides. “It was a lot of work.”


Sion smiles. Though he goes to retrieve them some napkins. For god’s sake, kids really never stop being handfuls even once they grow up, do they…


They idle while they eat. Sakuya and Ryo are no less rowdy with food in them, though they’re clearly happy to chow down on the skewers. It’s cute. The four of them wander around the festival and occasionally stop to get second looks at everything. And then they’re in the middle of talking about some of the high schoolers’ shenanigans when Ryo’s phone rings. 


“Eh?” He picks it up with a confused look. And then, into his speaker: “Nii-chan? What d’you want?” 


Sion doesn’t pay him much mind, as he’s busy fixing Megumi’s hair for the tenth time today. Though he didn’t know Ryo had an older brother. That’s… it’s a little intriguing. Sion can’t possibly imagine the kind of person who had to raise a younger sibling like Hirose Ryo.


So Sion peeks over as Ryo closes his free ear with his pointer finger, squinting off at nothing as he strains to listen. “What? Sion? Why do I-?” Then Ryo turns to Sakuya. “You’re such a snitch!”


Sion blinks at them as he finishes retying Megumi’s hair. Does- does Ryo’s brother know who he is? But then he catches how Sakuya grins something guilty with a very smug shrug. And that is… very suspicious.


“I thought he’d like to know,” Sakuya says. And, well. What the fuck does that mean?


“You’re so-” Ryo huffs, turning back to his phone. “Sion-san bought us food, so- No, we’re not extorting him! How could you say that, I’m just a cute kid!” He groans. Ryo looks at Sion, for some reason. And then he says: “Riku-nii wants you to check your phone.”


Sion stares. “Riku…?” Ryo knows Riku? And well enough to call him ‘Nii-chan’?


“He’s my cousin,” Ryo says like it’s a no-brainer. “And he’s-” He shouts into his phone: “I don’t care if you’re jealous, you’re old!” And then he hangs up.


Oh. Oh, well, okay. Sure. Sion’s very confused, but that’s- the town’s small, so it makes enough sense. Though that doesn’t mean he isn’t still surprised by the coincidence. Sion fumbles for his phone. “Riku wants me to-?”


“He’s pissed at me ‘cause I’m distracting you,” Ryo takes a petulant bite of his chicken. “It’s like he’ll wither away and die if you don’t give him enough attention, Sion-san, seriously…”


Sion laughs, but that’s because he doesn’t know if he’s ever been so confused in his life. “Ah, I don’t-” He checks his phone, though. Under a pile of texts from his family is a message from Riku. 


Sion-san… let’s meet up… I miss you…


Oh, so that’s what he wanted. Sion’s face softens into a smile and he immediately forgets that the kids are staring right at him. He has to fight the urge to coo as he texts back: Where are you? It’d be nice to meet up and wander around together… kind of like a date… er, maybe not with the little ones around…


Except, of all things, this is how Riku responds: Did Ryo say anything weird????


Sion blinks. What does… He looks up at the boys, who are looking back at him with perfectly innocent faces. Ryo blinks round, clueless eyes. Sakuya smiles just as innocently. “Is everything okay with Riku-nii?”


It’s… huh. Something about that feels off. Sion shakes his head and looks back down at his phone. “It’s nothing… I think your Nii-chan is paranoid…” He misses the snickers they sneak to each other.


Sion texts Riku back. No. We’re near the field, baby, come here. And then: He only said you’re cousins btw.


Except Riku’s response is— what is he even talking about? Okay, but he didn’t make me sound weird. Right?? Right????? Sion stares down at his phone. Since when did Riku worry so much?


It’s a little funny because of how out of character it is. Sion huffs a chuckle. He has no idea what Riku’s so anxious about, but something about it is sweet. Riku usually comes off as so calm but there are times he starts getting all nervous over seemingly nothing. He’s cute. So, so, so cute…


So Sion sends him: Ryo’s a good kid. Come here or else I’m going to be very sad. 


And, well. At least that gets the response Sion’s been fishing for. Riku texts him back at lightning speed: OKAY, OKAY!!! I’M ON MY WAY!!!!!


There’s a very stupid, very giddy smile on Sion’s face. And when he looks up from his phone, there are also two judgemental teenagers staring at him. Sakuya and Ryo are both obvious about it, actually, their once-innocent faces morphed into blatant disgust. What the hell is that about.


“So it’s true,” Ryo drawls. “You guys are really…?”


Sion’s face immediately flushes. “That’s- um.” He flounders because he wasn’t prepared for this. Sakuya and Ryo have both been in his house dozens of times and yet he didn’t even know that they knew Riku, let alone- they know they’re dating?


“We know everything,” Sakuya supplies. And before Sion can even ask what that means, he repeats: “Yes, everything.”


Sion is vaguely incredulous, and for a very long moment he doesn’t know if that’s valid of him or not, not when… apparently these two know, what, that they’re together? What exactly does ‘everything’ mean? Sion looks down at Megumi, who is currently hanging off of his leg and staring at a man in a nearby takoyaki stall mix a huge vat of batter. He doesn’t know what to say.


“I…” Sion has mixed feelings about this. So he gestures down at his kid and says: “Have some tact at least.” Never mind that Megumi couldn’t be less interested in their conversation. “I didn’t know that you two were… aware.”


“It wasn’t by choice,” Sakuya says, like that’s reassuring. And it really isn’t. 


“I didn’t wanna know but Riku-nii is bad at hiding his, um-” Ryo sends a sideways glance at Megumi. “His feelings are really obvious.”


And, well. When they put it like that, they have a point. Riku is probably as blatant as it gets in, like, every way humanly possible because he doesn’t have a subtle bone in his body and there are still times Sion is tempted to ask his boyfriend to reel it in when they’re at school and other parents around. So…


So, like. He’ll figure out what it is they know later. He’s too tired for that conversation right now. Sion still has about a million questions about how they came about this information but honestly speaking, he doesn’t want to question them anymore than he already has. Sometimes the less he knows, the better. 


“Alright,” Sion sighs. He runs a hand down his face. This certainly took a turn in an interesting direction…


“But treat him well-!” Ryo needles, though he doesn’t seem very serious as he wags a finger in Sion’s face. “Or else you’ll get our wrath. Right, Saku?” He elbows Sakuya in the side, hard enough to make the other boy wince. 


“Don’t make me pick sides,” Sakuya attempts. But when Ryo elbows him again: “Ugh, fine. Sure.”


Sion just shakes his head. It’s hard to take a threat like that seriously but it’s not like he intends on being a bad boyfriend or anything. In fact, Sion’s kind of the most nervous about that - like, not being deserving enough or coming off as ungrateful. So Sion holds a hand out to Ryo and offers: “I know he’s too good for me. I’ll treat him well.” 


Ryo grins and shakes his hand in a surprisingly firm grip. “Then you have my-”


“Ryo-chan! Hey! Hey!” 


They all turn to Riku, who runs up to them with a very disturbed look on his face. Sion’s just a little- he laughs. Riku’s ears are bright red, and if he didn’t know better, he’d think that this is what Riku looks like when he’s angry. But even now he’s still cute. You know, like a cat. 


“Hi, Nii-chan,” Ryo’s smile turns nervous. He backs off immediately.


“You,” Riku points at him. “I’m gonna-” Then he turns to Sion. “Don’t listen to anything he says. Please?”


Sion smiles. “Really?” He puts a hand on Riku’s back, who’s heaving. “Sensei, you need to breathe.”


“I know, I just- these two are-” Riku takes several deep breaths. “I’m so-”


“What’d I do?” Sakuya frowns. But then the other two stare at him with such intensity that he bows his head. “Okay, Sensei, sorry.”


Sion’s just endeared, mostly. He had no idea Ryo and Sakuya were so close to Riku but it makes a lot of sense in retrospect. Riku and Ryo have a lot of similar mannerisms. Plus Sion remembers Riku saying that his mom’s side of the family lived in town, which is why he moved here when he was offered the job. But also Sion’s never seen his boyfriend look so stern as he levels the two boys with a frown.


“Were you behaving yourselves? Huh?” Riku’s squinting at them. “You’re lucky Sion-san’s so nice because if it were me, I’d-“


“Hey, they were being good,” Sion appeases, just because he feels he should. “Hm?” He rests a steady hand on Riku’s shoulder and squeezes. “They were telling me about their booth. Right, guys, the maid cafe?”


“Unfortunately,” Sakuya nods. Riku looks a little suspicious at that answer but his shoulders slump and he leans into Sion’s side.


“Okay, but- but you can’t corrupt him-” He points to Sion. “Or her. Or else you’re dead.” Riku rests a hand on Megumi’s head, who blinks out of her trance like she is only just realizing Riku has joined them. 


Megumi beams. God, how hard was she daydreaming? “Sensei!”


“Hi, Gumi-chan.” Riku’s voice turns so sweet so suddenly that the rest of them are left a little stunned. Though in Sion’s case it’s more awe than anything. Riku grins when Megumi lets go of Sion’s hand to hug him around the waist. “You’re having fun with your Appa, hm?”


“Yup.” Wow, Megumi’s so smiley around him. She’s not even like that with Yushi. Sion looks over at Sakuya, who looks similarly shocked. 


“Good girl,” Riku cups her cheek and pinches. “And you’re ready for the relay, yeah?”


“I’m not running,” Megumi points out. Though it’s not lost on Sion that Megumi is less deadpan around Riku compared to pretty much everyone else, himself included. He has mixed feelings about that. Namely jealousy on both fronts. His kid treats his boyfriend specially but his boyfriend is also more doting to her than anyone else…


Riku’s chide is gentle. “Ah, but you have to cheer on your classmates!” And then he sends Sion a brilliant grin. Sion has to- he blushes and looks away. 


God, the combined aegyo of those two… one day it’s genuinely gonna be enough to kill him…


The five of them settle down at a picnic table for a while. Megumi’s sitting between him and Riku. Sion would normally be more perturbed about getting cockblocked if it weren’t for the fact that Megumi has both of their hands on her lap and this way it’s much less weird to accidentally brush against one another every now and again. Which they do. A lot. Actually, they’re basically holding hands, but Megumi doesn’t need to know that.


And, well. Sion can’t help that his smile is a little smug. He’s got both of his babies with him. He’s happy as a fucking clam.


The two boys talk to Riku about this and that and Sion pays half attention to their conversation, mostly doting on Megumi because she’s still sweating. They’re under the shade of a tree but he catches a bead of sweat that runs down her temple. Sion knows he babies her too much but it’s hard not to when her little face is so sweet and round and cute and-


“Do you need another drink?” Sion asks her in a low voice. “Appa can get you something.” He insists on it, actually, because Megumi doesn’t do very well in the heat. 


Megumi squeezes his hand. She’s almost coy: “I want a soda…”


That sounds like a bad idea. Megumi’s a little frail for her age - you know, due to her general aversion to exercise - and Sion knows she should be drinking water instead. It’s almost August and the sun is ridiculously strong these days. The last thing he needs is his daughter fainting on him. 


But again, the way he and Megumi operate is always in the name of fairness above all. So Sion rests his chin in his hand. “Hm? You want a soda?” He pokes her in the stomach. “Then what do I get out of it, huh?”


And, well, that gets exactly the kind of reaction he was expecting - Megumi’s eyes light up. She really loves a good negotiation. “I’ll… um.” Megumi tries: “I’ll do the dishes?”


“Nice try,” Sion says. “But that’s a given.” It is; it’s actually the only chore she does. Though Sion respects the hustle. He’s taught her well.


Megumi only pouts, though, staring off in the distance as she thinks. “Um… uh…” It always takes her a while to come up with something. But then she looks over at Riku, for some reason, and Sion’s a little horrified when Megumi leans in to whisper to him: “Sensei, can you help me?”


“Hm?” Riku leans in, too. Great, now Megumi’s brought his boyfriend into the conspiracy. But Megumi rocks up to whisper into his ear and Riku grins. “Ah, you need something to negotiate with?”


Megumi nods. Sion almost face palms. God, she’s so conniving but her face is so cute that you don’t even realize. And he definitely shouldn’t be entertaining this. Like- he just shouldn’t. He can’t set the precedent that Megumi can use Riku against him, not during their negotiations. That’s not fair for him in a myriad of ways. Never mind that Megumi has to learn to actually compromise! She’s already spoiled rotten!


But before he can say anything, Sion’s words fall flat in his mouth - Riku’s smile is just so cloyingly sweet and directed right at him. “Hm. I think I’ve got an idea.” He pats Megumi on the head. “How about Appa gets you a soda, and I’ll get your Appa a gift?” 


“Eh?” Both Sion and Megumi are similarly shocked by the offer. Er, well. Megumi is delighted; Sion is horrified. This cannot be the precedence they set as a- as a family unit. Er, hold on, not a family unit, but-


“Yup.” Riku’s smile is so innocent that it’s hard to believe he, too, is scheming. “I’ll grant your Appa one wish.”


This is terrible. Megumi beams. Sion groans into his hand because of course now his kid’s gonna figure out his one weakness. He can’t agree to this because it sets such a bad example and yet Riku is- he’s too good. And that offer is so tempting. Like, way too tempting. Sion looks away when Megumi pulls at his shirt.


“Appa, c’mon, it’s fair,” Megumi lies, because she wants to put him in an early grave.


“How’s it fair? Sensei’s doing all the work for you!” Sion complains. But the both of them are shooting their fucking aegyo beams at him and he’s like, milliseconds away from giving in and they know it.


So, even worse:


“Appa, please?” Megumi pulls at him insistently, her eyes all round and innocent like goddamn boba.


An adult-sized pinkie links with his and Riku’s smile is so, so sweet. “Sion-san?”


Jesus christ. Sion is not happy about this. Like, not at all. But he sighs and he says: “Fine,” because he is a weak, pathetic man. And he even shakes on it, because he’s also an idiot who is helpless to his- fuck, they’re both his, aren’t they? That’s even worse. 


“Yay!” Megumi cheers. She leans into Riku’s side. “Thank you, Sensei!”


“Of course,” Riku pats her on the shoulder and his smile is so warm and sweet and- ugh. Ugh. Sion needs to figure out a way to separate them, at least when he’s around. This is bad for his health…


So Sion sighs and bonks Megumi lightly on the head as he asks: “You little troublemaker, what soda do you want?” And then, just to remind her: “It can’t have caffeine.”


“Melon, please,” Megumi grins. Of course that’s what she wants. Sion looks to Riku.


“You, I’m getting you something. What do you want?” He stands up and stretches out his shoulders because he’s- he’s all tense from that interrogation. But Riku says nothing, so Sion glances back at him. Riku’s cheeks are red. Why’s that? 


“O-oh, I don’t know…” Riku tucks some stray hair behind his ear. Sion blinks. Why'd he get so shy? But Riku’s eyes avoid his as he mumbles: “Just a water is fine…”


Sion squints at him but Riku’s staring pointedly at somewhere over his shoulder, so he relents. “Alright, then, fine.”


God. Sion should’ve known they’d team up against him. He goes to buy Megumi a melon soda and Riku a water and the two kids some Pocari Sweats. It’s moments like these where Sion feels older than he really is because that’s how doing the Dad Activities make him feel. But he brings the drinks back to the table. All four of them bow their heads.


“Sion-san, you’re so cool,” Ryo grins.


“Thank you,” Sakuya grabs his drink. 


“Thank you, Appa!” Megumi beams.


“Thank you, Sion-san…” Riku’s smile is warm.


Sion waves them off as he sits down, his ears a little red. Ugh, it’s embarrassing to be assaulted with thanks like that, though he appreciates it. Sakuya and Ryo break into another conversation and Sion watches Riku and Megumi drink in tandem. It’s… it’s really cute, but Sion may or may not be biased. Megumi has to drink everything with both hands ‘cause she’s tiny but Riku is, of course, as beautiful as ever. He tilts his head back to sip his water down and the curve of his throat is… hauntingly pretty…


And, well. Sion is but a man. He snaps a photo. At the sound of the shutter, they both turn to him like alarmed little kitties. God, that’s so cute.


“For your Halmeoni,” Sion lies in Korean. But Megumi is really cute in that photo, so he sends it to the groupchat.


“What?” Riku asks, a little exasperated. Right, he doesn’t- the language thing gets weird.


“My mom is desperate for Megumi photos,” Sion waves him off while typing a bullshit message. He sends it. “Don’t worry, Sensei, you look very good too.”


But Sion regrets the decision almost immediately. The Megumi photo is cute, sure, but his vulture cousins are locking right onto Riku.


Oppa, who is that beautiful man?!????


IS THE GUY IN THE BACK SINGLE????


Eye candy from Sion of all people… Maybe Japan isn’t so bad…


OH SION. HIS SNS. NOW.


Sion has to suppress the urge to angrily message them all back: he’s mine, keep your paws off of him, he’s already taken, the good-looking guy belongs to me. Which he doesn’t, of course. He pockets his phone as his eye twitches.


But then the damn thing rings. It’s Siyeon. Fucking hell, of course she- Sion groans as he answers it because his little sister will kill him if he doesn’t pay her enough attention. “What do you-”


“Who’s your friend, huh? Is he single?” And, well. Of course that’s why she called. Sion feels mortified but it also reminds him of back in high school when he and Siyeon would always end up having crushes on the same guys. They really are brother and sister, exactly the same in the absolute worse ways. Unfortunately Megumi’s gonna end up being their triplet.


Feeling vaguely perturbed, Sion shoots a sideways glance to Riku, who looks back at him curiously. “No, he’s- he’s not single. So you can lose whatever interest you have, okay?” Riku raises his eyebrow and Sion waves him off. Right, at least Riku has no idea what he’s saying. Thank god for that.


Except:


“Really~?” Siyeon even pulls aegyo on him, for fuck’s sake, it’s like everyone knows he has one weakness. “Oppa, the least you can do is set me up. I’m stuck at the farm, there aren't any cute boys around here! You know what it’s like in Mokpo! They’re all weird and religious and-”


“He doesn’t speak Korean and you’re not his type!” Sion insists. “He likes handsome g- girls.” Nice save, Sion. “And tall girls! You’re short!”


“What are you saying, we’re almost the same height!” Siyeon yells back. Which, to be fair, is true. “Are you really gonna-”


“Is that Siyeon unnie?” Megumi cuts in. This is when Sion realizes that he only yells on the phone when he’s talking to Siyeon and unfortunately enough, the only person at this table who can understand what he’s saying is his very nosy seven year-old. “I wanna talk to her!” Megumi makes grabby hands. God, she’s like a little version of her aunt…


Sion makes a face. Then he says into the phone: “Eurgh. Siyeon-ah, Gumi wants to talk. Don’t say anything weird.” But he relents, still, passing it over to his kid. He huffs.


It’s not even that annoying. Siyeon’s always been like that, as all little sisters are, nosy about his life. But he’s a little bothered that he can't tell her the real reason why Riku’s off limits. She knows he’s bi - unfortunately she knows everything about him - but things are too new and his family’s so- it just feels too risky. What if it doesn’t work out? Or even worse, what if it works out too well and she and their cousins want to get to know him?


God. Riku’s so calm and gentle and cute. Sion’s family would descend on him like vultures.


“Is everything okay?” Riku asks. God, he’s so wonderful. And he looks so concerned, too. Neither Sion nor his terror of a family deserves him. 


Sion just sighs. “It’s my sister. She’s-” He actually doesn’t know how to answer that question without telling him that Siyeon and every female cousin of his is now hounding him for Riku’s contact info. So Sion paraphrases: “She’s just being nosy. She’s very bossy. And she gets in my business, so I just…” He trails off, lest he exposes himself.


But Riku accepts the explanation easily. “She’s younger than you, right?” Sion nods. Riku smiles. “Ah, that’s sweet. You’re close! That must be so nice!”


Yeah, maybe we’re too close. Sion uncaps his drink and huffs. “I guess.”


Megumi and Siyeon don’t talk for very long, but Sion’s got an ear out for any funny questions. Though none come. Thank god. Megumi hands the phone back to him and Sion only says: “Yah, Siyeon. I’m gonna tell you something you can’t repeat, okay?”


Sion glances down at Megumi, who isn’t paying attention to him. But he still stands up and walks a ways away. This is a risky move for him to pull but he’d rather nip this in the bud while he still can. Sion cradles his phone to his ear and makes sure there’s no one in earshot as Siyeon asks: “What? What are you-”


“That guy. I’m dating him. He’s my boyfriend.” Sion says in one breath. “And he’s Gumi’s teacher.”


For a second, there’s nothing. But then Siyeon screeches. 


“YOU’RE DATING? SINCE WHEN WERE YOU DATING? AND A HOT GUY? SINCE WHEN COULD YOU PULL A HOT GUY? GUMI’S TEACHER? DO YOU USE YOUR DAUGHTER’S LIFE AS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR MEET-CUTES? OH SION, YOU-”


Sion hangs up. And then he puts his phone back on do not disturb. For his own sake, you know.


At least telling her brought on some relief, Sion thinks, as Siyeon’s texts start filling up his screen. He goes back to the table with a carefully neutral look on his face. But the others are already getting ready to leave. “The sports section is starting in a few,” Riku explains. Megumi’s hand is tightly held in his. “We’re gonna go back to the room to get ready. But sit over there, okay?” Riku motions at another tree along the track. “That’s where our class is sitting.”


“Can I sit with you?” Sion asks, half-joking. But Riku’s ears go pink and he flicks some hair out of his eyes.


“Well. If you want to, I wouldn’t mind,” Riku says. He’s almost being haughty. But then he tugs on Megumi’s hand. “Say bye to your Appa, okay?”


Megumi’s still sipping on her soda. She waves in a very unperturbed manner. And, well, now Sion’s left to stew all in his lonesome.


The four of them head off. Sion heaves out a sigh as he sits in the spot where Riku told him to sit. Very hesitantly, he opens his phone to a barrage of messages from his sister. They range from questions about him getting back into the dating game to preying on young teachers. Which is so- she’s so fucking ridiculous and the awful thing is that this level of neurosis is almost certainly something she learned from him. Fuck.


So Sion texts her: It’s new. Don’t jinx me. AND HE CAME ONTO ME.


Siyeon’s response is predictable: Bullshit.


Sion can’t argue over text right now. He’s too- he’s so tired. So he dials Siyeon’s number because he’s got some time to kill and there’s no one in his direct vicinity. Not that many people in Japan speak Korean, but still, you can never be too sure…


“Hey, indoor voices this time,” Sion says when she picks up. “And don’t insult me. I could’ve kept that photo to myself.”


Siyeon huffs. There’s only a few years age difference between them but any remnants of the age hierarchy pretty much disappeared around the time Siyeon graduated high school because Sion, like a fool, so quickly got married and had a kid. That decision was something she thought he was really dumb for. Which, in retrospect, was true. But Siyeon went to trade school rather than college and she’s honestly better-suited to run the farm than Sion ever was. But Sion’s still in denial about most of his life decisions so he opts to not think about any of that.


“Sion, it’s just… you’re actually dating?” Siyeon’s voice is quieter but not necessarily calmer. “It’s just a little shocking, you know. It’s been so long. I didn’t think you’d ever really move on from Tsuchiko.” 


And that is- wow. Sion sighs something exhausted. He can’t believe that his sister would think he’s caught up over Tsuchiko, of all people, who abandoned him and his kid without much thought for them in the aftermath. How could he be stuck on her?


“Three years isn’t even- It’s not that I didn’t want to move on from Tsuchiko, it’s that Megumi comes first.” Sion runs his hand down his face and rubs at his forehead. “But my boyfriend is… really good with Megumi. And that’s why he makes me get all-” It’s then when Sion realizes he almost said something severely sappy to his little sister, and so he hesitates. “Um.”


“So you fell for him,” Siyeon deadpans. She’s not one to mince her words either.


Sion’s ears are a little pink. “Well. I guess. You know what Tsuchiko was like with Megumi, I’m kind of- I’m not really in the position to date just anyone.” Though Riku isn’t ‘just anyone.’ Sion knows that much, albeit that’s because he’s fucking whipped. So he adds: “But he’s definitely better than what I deserve, if I’m really being honest.”


Siyeon doesn’t say anything for a second. Usually that’s when she teases him with yeah, since when could you date someone so good-looking. But then Siyeon hums thoughtfully and says: “That’s not true. Oppa, you’re a good guy.”


And, well. That does make Sion smile. Siyeon only calls him “oppa” when she’s feeling particularly merciful. “Hey, I’m not asking for pity...”


“I’m being serious, idiot. Come on. Megumi’s got- she’s got a lot going on.” Siyeon sighs on the other side of the line. “And you’ve been so busy working since the divorce. But Yushi oppa’s your boss and you’ve got the time, don’t you? So why not date, right?”


Sion thinks briefly about Megumi’s separation anxiety and how that’s probably the biggest barrier to his relationship with Riku, like, physically. And so he says: “Well. I’m trying to...”


“See? There you go. You’re doing something good for yourself.” Normally Siyeon teases him incessantly but right now she huffs out a strained laugh. They’re both stunted, like, emotionally. That’s the Catholic-school-adolescence at work. “Sorry, I just- you shocked me. You never think about romance. You’re all mopey about it.”


Sion’s smile fades a little. Because, well, that’s true. “I’m not.”


And Siyeon calls him out immediately, of course. “You are. You’ve got this, like, self-sacrificial thing that no one asked you to have.” It’s really unfortunate how Siyeon can cut down right to the core of everything, but again, she probably knows him better than anyone. “Look, mom and dad won’t care if you don’t ever get married again. You gave them Gumi, they’re supportive. So you don’t need to try to get all-”


“They won’t be happy about me dating a guy, though,” Sion points out, which is true. And also not the point, but it’s still- ugh. “Siyeon, it’s fine. I’m not- I don’t need their acceptance anymore. I’m not a kid anymore.” It’s hard to forget his high school days, sitting in his classes and having the straight-is-great shit drilled into his head. “I’m just trying to take things slow with him and just- I need to work on my self esteem. Okay?” 


Sion’s a little proud of himself for that last one because isn’t admittance the first step or something? He’s starting to come around to the idea, too, the concept of taking care of himself as a whole…


But then, for some reason, Siyeon hesitates. And she asks: “Well. How slow?”


Sion narrows his eyes. That is… very suspicious. “Um, I don’t know. What does-”


“Okay, so, I originally called you because of- not your boyfriend.” Siyeon sounds a little uneasy now, which isn’t a good thing, because Oh Siyeon’s only speed is one hundred and it’s not good when her voice takes on that placating tone. “But the farm, we- we made a deal with this supplier in Seoul. So the margins are actually insane right now...”


Sion blinks. “Oh, then- that’s good.” He’s a little confused. That’s not really the kind of thing that requires a phone call. But Siyeon doesn’t say anything, so he asks: “Wait, right? That’s good? The profits are doing super well?”


“Um.” Siyeon inhales. “Um, yeah. It’s good. But mom and dad wanted to celebrate by going on a trip. To Japan. When Gumi’s on break...” Her voice trails off in a pitched lilt. “So you're not coming to us, actually, because we’re going to you…?”


For a second Sion is extremely confused. Because- because what? But then it processes and his voice raises to an absurd degree: “You’re coming here?!”


“I mean, they want to,” Siyeon sounds apologetic. “And they already bought tickets…”


Sion’s speechless. He doesn’t- he’s not- his mind instantly flits to Megumi first and foremost. “Yah, but Megumi wants to see the kids.”


“Look, I told them. And they wanted to keep it a secret for a while, so this is my warning,” Siyeon sounds tired but still, she’s genuinely apologetic. “You know them, they’re gonna be nosy. They wanna see what you’re up to because they’re worried and they want to check up on you…”


Sion sighs. He rubs again at his forehead, suddenly very stressed out. It’s not terrible that his parents are coming. No, of course not, he loves them dearly and they love Megumi. Of course they do. It’s just… it feels sudden with the Riku thing. He loves his parents but he also enjoys when the insanity is contained to Mokpo. Namely the homophobia. It’s not prevalent enough that it’s all they talk about, but heteronormativity and comphet impulses have consumed more than enough of Sion’s life and he’d rather they not bring it over here. He doesn’t want to hear bullshit about settling down with a new girl or finding Megumi a mom, or- or how as a single dad he is only- 


God, and Riku’s so pertinent to their lives now. Fuck.


“Are you coming?” Sion asks. He’s almost pleading. “Siyeon. I can’t do it alone.”


“Of course I’m coming, I want a vacation too,” Siyeon huffs a little, though her tone is still soft. “And it’s not like I’m saying you have to introduce him to them as your boyfriend. That’d actually be- that’s a terrible idea.” She laughs a tiny thing. “But they’re gonna want to meet your friends.”


Sion’s response is automatic: “Yushi is my only friend.”


“Well, mom hates that about you!” And as he should’ve expected, Siyeon’s voice turns a little stern again. “Can’t you just pretend? It’s not like it has to be formal. But he’s in your life, right, and he’s in Gumi’s life...”


Sion doesn’t like the implications of that, coming from a straight person, but he knows he should- pretending isn’t a terrible idea. God, he’s so used to pretending. Sion closes his eyes and sighs again. “...We could.”


“Just think about it. You’ve got, like, five months. We’re landing a few days before New Year’s so we can be there for Gumi’s birthday.” Siyeon’s chiding is gentle: “Oppa, come on, you’re finally starting over. Focus on that. I’m not saying you have to come out to them or anything.”


Sion softens a little because it’s only in times like these he remembers Siyeon is actually his dongsaeng. “Of- of course not, Siyeon. I’m just tired.” He looks around to make sure no one’s listening even though, again, he’s whispering in Korean. “But it’s- that’s a lot of pressure. We just started dating and Megumi loves him. I already ruined her life once. I can’t mess up and-”


“You’re not going to,” Siyeon scolds him. “Stop being an idiot. You’ve been doing it alone for so long. Just let people take care of you and give it some thought, right?” She makes it sound so fucking easy, though. For so many years Sion barely let his parents into his life and Megumi has been a very shaky bridge between them. He’s tired of upsetting the balance because he makes stupid decisions. And he doesn’t- Riku is not a stupid decision, he thinks.


So Sion exhales again. “...Yeah, okay. I just don’t know if Riku would…” He closes his eyes. Sion doesn’t even know about Riku’s whole- his growing up queer thing. He doesn’t even know if he’s gay. Sion groans. “Ugh.”


“You’ve got five months,” Siyeon reminds him. “So you can figure out if he’s worth it or if-”


“I’m not coming out to them,” Sion hisses. Because there’s no fucking way he’s doing that.


“That’s not what I mean,” Siyeon says. “But you’re a bad liar, oppa. It’s obvious when you’re in love. It’s all over your face. So you’ll have to pretend really, really hard.” God, the fact that she’s right about that, too, is just so- this is all- he feels-


Sion sits there and just- he breathes. Just for a second. His anxiety is rising and rising and rising and he already hates that Siyeon can see right through him. She knows to what extent he’s kept his sexuality hidden from his parents, especially since they were helping with Megumi for so long. Sion’s hidden a lot of things in order to have a good relationship with them. He’s already grateful they were so easy-going about his divorce, he can’t- he was willing to forgive, to forget, to wipe his teenage years from his mind entirely. School and church on repeat, coming up with lies in confession because to tell the truth was a death sentence, kneeling and thinking about the alter boy he had a crush on when he was fifteen and praying: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t know how to take it out of me, it’s all my fault, I was born with this evil in my insides, I’d do anything to be normal. The shame is all he knows and Sion has forgotten all of that for the sake of- of his life. Of Megumi’s life. God, he’d do anything for Megumi and so he forgives them and he tries to forgive himself. 


But he’s really not a good liar. And his bond with his family means so much to him. Sion has worked so, so, so hard to pretend he is not resentful and he has trained himself to stay quiet when they talk about queer people and he has spent so many years keeping an entire half of himself contained to the shadows of Itaewon because he was so fucking afraid of anyone back home finding out how dirty and bad he really is. But if they found out he was dating Riku, they would- fuck. Sion can’t do that to Megumi. That’s a risk he simply can’t take. But Riku is so good to him, and he is shameless in all of his affection, and Sion can feel the guilt rise ugly and bitter like bile in his throat.


He may never be able to give Riku that same kind of shameless in return. He may never be able to give him the unabashed affection Riku shows him in public. You know, the kind that he deserves. Riku is so brave and Sion isn’t ashamed of him. He’s really not - Sion’s done his time in the closet and playing along with his parent’s comphet fantasies for him and he’s done with all the secretive bullshit. But he’s also just…


Sion is scared. He’s still scared. He doesn’t want to be scared but he fucking is, so.


“God,” Sion sighs. He can’t- those are all things he will never say out loud because no one is allowed to know. He only tells Siyeon: “I wish you could’ve told me at a better time…” Some of the classes are starting to file out onto the field.


“Sorry,” Siyeon sounds sincere. “But if it comes down to it, do what’s good for you. I’m serious. You’ve been through enough, stop overthinking and just- just follow your heart.”


Sion’s smile is sardonic. He is so, so tired. “The last time I followed my heart-”


“It’s different,” Siyeon insists. “How long are you gonna punish yourself for what she did to you, oppa?”


Sion doesn’t want to answer that. Not right now, not really, and preferably not ever. Confronting what Tsuchiko did to him is a mountain he hasn’t even attempted to climb and it’s not the time, nor the place, and he should be focusing on Megumi. Sion licks his lips. “Siyeon, I have to go. For real. The festival-”


“I know.” Siyeon sighs. “But- call me this weekend, okay? We can talk about it more. And I wanna hear about this guy.”


Sion is tired. He smiles. “He’s too good for me, that’s all you need to know.”


“There’s no such thing,” Siyeon deadpans. “I love you, idiot, be nice to yourself.” And then she hangs up.


It’s- wow. That was quite the phone call, wasn’t it. Sion’s left to reel by himself as the kids march out onto the field. They’re cute in their uniforms, plus the size difference between the first graders and high school seniors is… really funny, actually. Sion doesn’t want to dwell on that conversation right now. Not really. Riku’s class is one of the last ones out and he can see Megumi almost jump at him the second she sees her beloved Appa waiting for her.


It’s Maku who holds her back. Sion smiles. They’re so good for each other. That’s what he needs to be focusing on. 


Right, he needs to focus on the important things. Whatever will happen in five months will happen in five months and the sports festivities are right now. So Sion doesn’t think about it; he’s good at compartmentalization, he doesn’t need to. But Megumi grabs Riku’s hand while pointing at her beloved Appa and something in Sion’s chest settles. 


That’s… they’re his, aren’t they? Sion would like to deserve the trust they both have in him and he wants to stay in this tranquil bubble of affection and fondness for forever, really. He doesn’t want the insanity of his childhood leaking into the good thing they have here. Even if it’s inevitable, he can… Sion can compartmentalize and re-center his mind on the important things.


So, you know. Enough of that. He has a sport’s day to focus on.


Riku's class joins him. Megumi lets go of Riku’s hand to plop down in Sion’s lap. Normally he would tell her to not do that, but Riku only sends him a smile, and that’s- it must be fine. It’s not like she’d listen otherwise, Sion’s accepted that his kid has Appa Tunnel Vision or whatever you want to call it. Megumi holds both of Sion’s hands in her own and squeezes.


“Are you excited?” Sion whispers.


“Not really,” Megumi whispers back. And, well. It’s not like he expected any differently.  


Sports day is very straightforward. There’s a little ceremony before the activities start, in which the principal says vague words of camaraderie and advice - that’s the guy who talked shit about my kid, Sion tries not to think too hard and promptly fails - but then they’re off. The younger kids go first for obvious reasons; they’re restless in the sun. Sion helps Riku pass out bottles of water to the little ones. They’re all sweaty and a little miserable but their energy is palpable, which is cute. 


The first and second graders go at once, which Sion thinks is a little unfair for obvious reasons, but alas. There’s short distance runs - which Megumi’s class clears easily - and then a long distance - a kid from first grade wins. The whole relay situation is sloppy at best. Six and seven year olds are not so coordinated at using their hands. They drop the baton on every single pass-off. 

Riku ends up next to Sion, which is unfortunate for a lot of reasons. Namely that Sion’s presence, somehow, rids his boyfriend of all sense of professionalism. Riku has to clutch onto his arm every time the baton drops so he doesn’t laugh at each fumble. They can’t be too obvious but there’s a point where Sion laces their fingers and squeezes his hand, once.


Riku grins over at him before letting go. Then he addresses the kid in Sion’s lap: “Doesn’t it look fun, Gumi?”


“No,” Megumi says honestly. Which is- well, that’s fair.


“Can’t you be a little enthusiastic?” Sion is mildly exasperated, squeezing her shoulders. He shakes her a little. “Sensei told you to have some spirit!”


“It’s too hot to have spirit,” Megumi complains. Ugh, she’s so stubborn. At least Sion tried, right?


Riku leans a little into him. “Ah, it’s okay, Gumi is still cheering them on.” That’s a lie but Sion decides not to point that out for Megumi’s sake. She’s so lucky her teacher is a literal angel; Sion smiles when Riku’s chin hooks over his shoulder.


“You have to stop enabling her,” Sion murmurs. He turns just enough to look Riku in the eyes.


His boyfriend smiles up at him. “You first.” And, well. Touche. 


Only tug of war is left after the relay, at least for the little kids. And for some god forsaken reason, they’ve decided the entirety of the classes will do it together. It’s with great reluctance Megumi is tugged to her feet and Riku nudges her forward. “Go on, it’ll be fun.”


“But you’re not doing it, Sensei,” she pouts. She makes grabby hands again. God, Megumi’s relentless. 


Riku only waves her off. “Go with Ma-kun!”


And, well. Sion’s impressed that she listens to Riku so well. Megumi follows Maku down the line with a huge pout on her face. Sion turns on his phone camera with a grin. He needs this video desperately.


“The first grade teacher’s doing it, why aren’t you?” Sion asks while they wait for the rope to get set up. It’s true - the younger kids have their Sensei on the rope with them.


“Because I’m the only guy. The other teachers rallied against me and it means nothing ‘cause Misato is a gym buff.” Riku takes a long swig of water. Then he realizes Sion’s recording. “Sion-san, can you send that to me?”


“Yes,” Sion sends him a smile. His grin grows when he notices the face Riku’s sending him. “What? Don’t look at me like that.”


He only says it because Riku’s scooting in closer and sending him Eyes. It’s the aegyo beam, except unlike Megumi, Riku does it on purpose. His hand rests on Sion’s arm and squeezes. “I’m not,” he says. His voice is so petulant, god.


“Alright, sure,” Sion huffs. But Riku rests his head on his shoulder for just a few seconds, and that is- that’s nice. Sion blushes a little. He’s doomed.


It’s only a few moments later that the game of tug-of-war starts. The seven year-olds are actually a good deal bigger than the younger kids, not to mention their class is bigger, so Sion’s having a hard time envisioning a future where they lose. The struggle is real for about five seconds. But then Hitomi from Megumi’s class screams: “One, two!”


It’s maybe the most beautiful thing Sion’s ever seen. The rest of the second graders echo “one, two!” before yanking. And with one surprisingly strong pull, they win just like that. 


Oh, wow. That was actually kind of impressive.


For some reason, Riku’s almost in tears. He shakes Sion’s arm. “A- that was a coordinated attack-! I didn't even tell them to-!”


“Oi, yeah, you taught them well,” Sion complains as he’s shaken like a snow globe. “Go easy on me.” But then he stops the recording and he’s grinning because the kids are overjoyed, running back to Riku at full speed.


“Sensei!” They’re yelling at him. “We won!”


“Yeah, you-” Riku only yelps as a gaggle of seven year olds pile onto him.


And, well, it’s really sweet. And that also marks the end of the second graders’ sports day.


They’re expected to wait for the older kids to finish but all the little ones are fussy for the next hour, which is a pain. But soon enough the day is all wrapped up and Sion idles outside of the classroom with Riku and the other boys while the girls change out of their uniforms. And when they’re done and the boys go in next, Sion grins when Megumi spots him. “Appa, you’re here!”


“I’ve been with you all day, baby,” Sion sighs, though he’s fond. He flicks Megumi’s hair out of her face. “Hold on. Lemme do your hair.”


Megumi makes a disgruntled expression but relents. Sion tugs her hair tie free and slides it onto his wrist while he brushes it back. God, he doesn’t know how she manages to make such a mess of it during the day. But Megumi keeps her hair short enough that it fits neatly into one little pigtail, which he ties off easily. He pats her head. “All done.”


“Now I’m sleepy,” Megumi turns her head and mumbles into his stomach. Of course she is. The festival’s not even over, not officially, but she’s definitely done for the day. 


“I just gotta talk to your Sensei and then we’re done,” Sion promises. He smooths a hand down her back. “Just hold on a little longer…”


It takes a while, though. Apparently all the TA’s were busy doing some volunteering with the older kids but Daeyoung is back soon enough, so he and Riku stand in the classroom and give the kids some directions. They’re unruly as hell but that’s nothing out of the norm. Tomorrow is the closing ceremony before summer break and then they’re free. The excitement in all of the seven year-olds is damn-near palpable.


Sion stands outside until they’re done. And then a flood of kids are pouring out to greet their parents. He opts to go inside because Megumi usually stays put instead of looking for him - as expected, she’s at her desk, organizing some things. Sion waves when he slips past Maku. The kid gives him a shy smile in return. Ah, that’s some kind of progress, right?


He approaches Megumi, resting a hand on her back. Sion’s voice is gentle: “Baby, is it okay if Appa talks to your Sensei for a bit before we go?”


“Hm? Yeah.” Megumi’s really sleepy, knocking her head down against the desk. “Ow…”


“Careful,” Sion chides, rubbing at her forehead. But then he’s slipping off.


Pretty much all of the kids are cleared out of the room. So Sion goes straight to Riku, who’s at his desk. He’s rifling through some papers with a focused look on his face. Sion stands over him and says: “Sensei.”


“Hm?” Riku looks up. “Oh, Sion-san. Hi.” He smiles. “Do you need something?”


Sion steps in just a little bit closer. “Can I have you alone for a second?” He keeps his voice low. “I promise I won’t try anything.”


Riku blinks at him for a second, looking like he doesn’t believe a word he says. But then he smiles. “Hm? You wanna be alone with me, Sion-san?” He grins and scans the room before calling out: “Daeyoungie, can you keep an eye on Megumi?”


It’s just the four of them in the room. But Daeyoung sends them a look like: You better not be up to what I think you’re up to.


“It’s not that,” Sion huffs. But Riku takes him by the wrist and leads him out of the room - so, a little helpless, Sion has no choice but to follow.


It’s a little funny though. They end up in a closet, of all places. The younger students have already cleared out so no one sees them go in but Sion’s still a little impressed by Riku’s quick decision-making. All he teases is: “Do you normally bring your students’ dads into this closet, or…?”


“No,” Riku says. But he shuts the door behind them and backs Sion up against the wall. Two hands run firmly over his shoulders, his chest; then Riku squeezes him into a hug. 


And, well. Sion’s not complaining about that.


It’s not often that they’re given the opportunity to be alone with each other. Like, fully alone. Sion holds Riku close, hugging him tightly. Their height difference isn’t insane but Riku tucks easily into the crook of his neck and it feels so nice to just hold him. How long has it been since Sion’s hugged another adult like this? It’s been just him and Megumi for so long…


Ah, the thought’s bittersweet. But nevertheless, Sion’s got an agenda here.


“Sensei,” he murmurs after a moment. Sion runs a hand down Riku’s back. “I’m gonna ask you something highly unethical.” His hand settles on Riku’s waist; it squeezes.


“What?” Riku asks into his neck before reeling back a little bit. His expression is vaguely disturbed. “What do you-”


“Sorry. That was a joke.” Sion’s voice is low. He grins and leans down a little bit so their gazes meet. “You owe me a wish, right? I wanna use it on our date.”


And, well. That gets a better reaction. “Wh- really?” Sion doesn’t know why Riku’s so surprised. He blinks, hard, and squeezes Sion’s shoulders. “A date-?”


“Yeah,” Sion says, a tiny bit exasperated. “We agreed to go out after the festival. The festival’s over.” His second hand joins Riku’s waist and this time his touch is more purposeful. “I want to take you out, please.”


It’s quiet for a moment and Sion’s a little incredulous by Riku’s apparent surprise. Or maybe Riku’s brain is more fried from the festival than Sion thought - Riku blinks and then he’s smiling something very shy. “Oh, right.” His gaze averts down to wear Sion’s holding him. “You’re gonna take me out? That’s what you want to waste your wish on?”


“Of course,” Sion murmurs. Any other time he’d probably be more annoyed that his boyfriend, of all people, is shocked by such an offer. But he’ll let it slide just this once. Sion squeezes Riku’s waist again and watches pink spread across his cheeks. “We’ll get dinner. This weekend?” He smiles when Riku nods. “What day?”


“Any of them,” Riku squirms a little when Sion leans down to kiss his cheek. “I can-” Sion kisses his nose. “I’ll free up my schedule-” Sion kisses him on the mouth.


“Good,” Sion murmurs. The kiss, again, is innocent. It’s sweet. He keeps his hands steady on Riku’s waist because he’s starting to get obsessed with holding him there. His voice is low but clear: “I’m gonna take you to dinner, okay?”


“O-okay.” Riku sounds unfocused as he’s kissed again, again, again. Sion presses in a little more and he whines. “Not at school, I told you-”


“I’m not doing anything,” Sion backs off quickly, because he wasn’t. He brings Riku into a hug again. “Sorry, sorry. You’re just… I like you.”


They just breathe together, really. They breathe for a very long moment. Riku smiles into his neck. He squeezes Sion back. His touch is a little gentler but no less firm; his hands are bigger. Riku is so gentle for someone so all-encompassing. A hand slides up Sion’s stomach, his chest, pressing firm right over where Sion’s heart is thumping.


“Yeah, well,” Riku murmurs as he leans back up to kiss him, his palm flat over Sion’s heart. “I like you too.”



 ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 



When Sion gets home that night, he’s still smiling. It’s not for any particular reason. He just is.


Megumi is as limp as a sack of rice in his arms. She flops onto the couch and Sion lets her, pulling off both of their shoes. “What do you want Appa to make for dinner, baby?” He asks before she falls right into a coma. 


“Samgyeopsal,” she mumbles. So pork belly it is, then.


Megumi curls up on the couch, still in her uniform, and is immediately snoring. Sion doesn’t have the energy to change her, so he just plops down too and closes his eyes. The house is so quiet compared to the festival. That’s nice. They both get overwhelmed quite easily and sometimes it’s exhausting to have to be the brave one out of the two of them. Sion, too, really prefers staying home…


It’s a little funny. His mind is still quiet. No, it’s really funny. Sion thought he’d be nonstop anxious after agreeing to date Riku, but he’s been… he’s been alright. He wants to be cautiously optimistic. Especially with a date on the horizon.


Like, seriously, he’s a lucky bastard. He gets a date with Riku.


Obviously the phone call with Siyeon rings in his mind. Sion’s parents are one thing, but it’s- it’s not a big deal. They had a weird relationship when he was growing up. They wanted him to be a certain way, and so he was, because Sion can be good at playing a role if he really needs to. Of course he resented them for it. Of course he did. But then he got divorced and he flew back to Mokpo with nothing but his shame and Megumi, and they were the ones who held their pride to take him back in.


And, well. Sion thought that forgiving and forgetting was the easiest thing to do, and so he did. He thinks he did. But there are still times the murmurings of the past rise up in his mind and he’s just really, really tired.


But he has… he has five months. So there’s no use in worrying now.


For so many years now he’s been running on an empty tank and it feels like things are starting to nip at his heels again. Sion isn’t an idiot. He knows why Tsuchiko leaving him hurt so much. It wasn’t just their relationship, no, nor was it just their love. It was everything it stood for. She was Sion’s ticket to prosperity; she was Sion’s ticket to being a good son who marries a nice girl and has kids with a beautiful wife from a good family. There were a few months when Megumi was an infant - before they realized anything with her was off - that Sion was playing the act so well. He almost convinced himself that that was his destiny. The wife and the kids and all those nights in Itaewon that he pretended never happened because that was his duty as a son, you know, to pretend the queer part of him was dead and never existed to begin with. But then, for the next four years, that act slowly fell apart. The arguing. The fights. Megumi staying nonverbal into her toddler years, Sion always at home with her, Tsuchiko coming back from work very late and sometimes coming back from work drunk and sometimes coming back from work drunk and angry and bitter: Oppa, who do you love more, me or the kid? If it came down to it, who would you pick? Sion never answered even though he knew what he’d choose and she knew exactly what he was thinking every single time. 


So, you know. Tsuchiko didn’t even fight for visitation; that was the nail in the coffin. Sion going back to Mokpo was his burial. Moving to Japan was his last opportunity for rebirth, of sorts, finally. Because Sion isn’t an idiot - he can’t be fooled twice. He will not, again, be forced to choose between Megumi and anyone else, and if he is, his answer is never going to change. It just won’t. He is an Appa before he is anything and that is not a choice he will ever regret making.


But again, here he is. Again, he’s found someone he wants to be good for. Cycles have this funny way of persisting. Sion is a lot of things but you can never say he isn’t consistent. 


The guilt is so innate. Of course it is. Megumi needs him, that’s the bottom fucking line, that’s what the rest of Sion’s life looks like. That’s the burden of parenthood and being so young and stupid when he decided to have a kid; Megumi is his responsibility forever. And Sion knows that, that’s why for three years he has been swallowing his resentment and telling the restlessness in his inside to heel. But Siyeon was right, too, he’s spent enough time torturing himself. He could punish himself for the rest of his life in order to pay the price of Tsuchiko’s absence but that’s not what Megumi needs from him. Megumi is a simple kid at the end of the day. She’s so happy with just him. And Sion wants to be happy with just her, too. But there is still a void in his life where there is nothing besides his shame and guilt and the memories of being loved, a ring on his finger and a baby monitor on his nightstand. Those days are long over. But Riku makes him feel- he- it’s almost-


Sion doesn’t know exactly what it is. Maybe it’s hope. He wants it to be. He is terrified but he is also tired, that’s the thing. He’s fucking exhausted. He’s been alone for so long, he’s all Megumi’s had for even longer. But Riku is there. Not just for him, but for Megumi too. No one has ever- god. Not even his parents give so much thought to how Sion’s doing. Yushi does, to an extent, but Yushi has already done enough for him and Sion couldn't possibly ask him for more. There’s just no way.


But when Riku brought him that cake, for a second, all the pain and misery and torment disappeared. It was like his vision tunneled in on Riku and his smile. I want to do something good for you. Even when Sion had sworn - you’re too good to be true - Riku held his hand and told him I think about you. It felt like he was free-falling for years only to finally land in a very soft, very warm bed, one that was made just for him.


I think about you. That was enough to make Sion cry. Because all he could think in return was: How can you think of me when I don’t even think of me? How could I be someone you think of? How do I deserve the space I take up in your mind?


Sion is terrified. Of course he’s fucking terrified, by now it’s habit. Guilt and shame are one thing, but fear can do a lot of evil, evil things to you. That’s why Sion’s so reliable, you know, his fear is so consistent. He’s so afraid that he will keep running until he can’t possibly run anymore. But Riku is so… good. And gentle. And kind. But he also has the petulant side to him, sometimes he becomes so conniving, and Sion just wants to trust him. He wants to let Riku look at him. He wants to take a nap in his lap because then he may finally sleep well.


Is he selfish? Maybe. Is he chasing something impossible? Yeah, probably. But god, Sion can’t deny himself anymore. Riku was the one who tore down his walls one by one, he’s the one who wore down his resolve, Riku’s the one who ripped away Sion’s fear and saw him shaking and afraid in his insides. That’s the thing; Riku sees him. Riku’s seen him be weak, and Riku’s good with his kid, and Riku is too good for him. But Sion wants to- he wants to be good enough to deserve him. Sion really, really wants to, he wants it so badly he was able to be selfish and say: I really like you. He was selfish enough to hug him in the storage closet and kiss him. He was  selfish enough to ask him on a date. Sion is selfish enough to be hopeful, and that’s the very thing he is so afraid of. Hope is an impossibly terrifying thing. 


And yet Sion wants to- he thinks he’s alright with being a little hopeful. 


The doubt never goes away. Of course it doesn’t, giving his heart to Riku could be a bad idea. But it feels right, at least for now. They’re going on a date. A real one. And Sion will let Riku, just this one time, take anything back if he wants to. He will lay it all out: I need to go excruciatingly slow, I’m so afraid of being touched, I don’t know if I can ever have sex again. He will tell him: my kid comes first, Megumi is always the most important thing in my life, I can’t be anything more than what I am now. He will tell him: if you’re going to break my heart, please do it now. I can’t take another heartbreak. Riku, I might die. I cannot uproot Megumi’s life again, I have run out of places to hide, I can’t survive another betrayal. It might break me for real. I’m all Megumi has, please don’t break me. 


It’s impossible for Sion to know if this is the best or worst decision he’s ever made but for now it feels like the right next step. It feels good, it feels more real than things with Tsuchiko did, not because Sion didn’t love her but because now he knows himself better. Now he knows he can’t deny himself of Riku’s affection. That’s new for him. Sion’s denied himself many, many things in life; that’s how he became such a good son. But Riku is impossible to say no to and for the first time in three years and a lifetime, Sion wants to give his life another proper do-over.


…Or, well. At least he thinks he does. And that is better than nothing.


So Sion gets to work. He grills up samgyeopsal on the stove, he makes rice, he digs kimchi and ssamjang out the fridge. He wakes Megumi up, he feeds her, they watch Shin-chan until she’s ready to sleep. He puts her to sleep, he texts Riku, he goes to bed himself. He gets them both up in the mornings, drops Megumi off at school, he goes to work.


He goes to Yushi’s office, he rips the door open. Yushi is staring blankly at his computer, strip mining in Minecraft.


“Yuu-chan,” Sion says. “I, um. Really need your help?”


“Is it an emergency.” Yushi barely spares him a glance.


“Yeah. Kinda.” Sion’s face is bright red but he is brave, finally, he is doing the next right thing. “I have a date.” Yushi stares up at him and Sion tries for a grin. “So… what do I wear?”