CHAPTER TEN




It’s two days later when the fated Universal Studios trip has finally arrived upon them and Riku, for better or worse, is meeting Sion’s family for the first time. Like, he’s really meeting them. Sion’s trying not to be too nervous about all of this but of course he’s spent the past few days feeling so anxious that he could vomit everywhere. How could he not? There’s so much hanging on the line now, like their relationship and the fate of the family unit they have with Megumi and also just everything in general...


Sion wishes he could say that the idea of Riku and his parents being in the same room didn’t freak him out beyond repair but then he’d be lying. But most things freak him out as it is, so… so it could be worse.


Right? Probably! 


And yet, of course, that morning Sion sleeps through his three alarms and wakes up to immediate chaos. Despite all the planning he’s put into this trip everyone else seems more prepared than he is; there are the sounds of people clamouring around his house and getting ready and that’s- that’s just not a good look for him. Also Megumi’s arms are squeezed around his neck while she sleeps and she’s very slowly suffocating him, but honestly that’s the least of his worries right now. 


So: 


“Baby, we…” Sion genuinely has to take in a breath as he unlatches his kid from his neck and shakes her awake because wow, Megumi’s gotten way too fucking strong. “I- we- Gumi, come on. We gotta get up. We’re going to Universal today.”


Sion only woke up half an hour late so they’ll be just fine if they hustle, but the unfortunate thing is that when you have a seven year-old whose natural inclination is to sleep until noon, sometimes you just have to take a gamble on that seven year-old being either extremely grumpy or surprisingly agreeable when you wake them up early. And today Megumi is the former, of course, because Sion has terrible luck. “I don’t wanna,” she bats him away and rolls back over into her pillow, never mind the goddamn theme park trip he planned for her. 


And, well. Surely that’s not a bad premonition for the day ahead of them, right?


“But we- we have to, Gumi.” Normally Sion isn’t this admonished while parenting - that’s the one thing he has pride about, you know, the fact that he always keeps his cool - but it’s hard not to be incredulous now. Megumi loves theme parks. That’s the whole reason they’re going and Sion isn’t in the financial position to act like those tickets didn’t cost him an arm and a fucking leg to get. So he shakes her again: “Honey, come on. We have to get ready now or else we’ll get there too late.”


“But it’s early,” Megumi whines. “Let’s just go later...”


Sion can feel a very distant pang of annoyance rise within him and he ignores that, obviously, though he doesn’t relent on getting her up either way. “No, we have to go now,” he nudges her back awake again and again. “Megumi, come on. Get up.”



He isn’t being all that demanding but for obvious reasons Sion also isn’t being as lenient as he usually is, so his voice takes on a stern edge that it only very rarely does. Normally Megumi listens once her Appa really harps on her, but upon hearing his tone she just turns back at him with wide eyes. Then her bottom lip wobbles. And no, that’s not a good sign either.


“But it’s so early,” Megumi’s voice warbles. “And I’m so tired, Appa…”


God, somehow she’s being even more incorrigible than usual - she’s pulling that pained-baby face and everything! - and Sion’s just generally feeling aghast about all of this. Sometimes he’s not sure if Megumi knows to guilt trip him or not because on impulse he wants to say his daughter is a perfect angel who would never try to emotionally manipulate him. But it’s also true that Sion tends to cave at the first sign of tears and she has to know that, right? 


So Sion is- he has no choice but to put his foot down today. He sits up, he rises to his feet, and then he sends her another pointed look. “Megumi,” Sion says. “Appa spent a lot of money on the tickets today. So we’re going now, okay?”


For a second they just stare each other down. All things considered Megumi is usually a pretty agreeable kid because Sion knows how to accommodate her particularities, so this isn’t something they typically have issue with. Or, well, not unless it’s months into the school year and Megumi’s worn out from the nonstop action and suddenly she’s decided her uniform skirt is evil again. But today she stares up at him, her eyes narrowing, and she looks mad enough to bite. That’s when Sion realizes just how much she looks like him. 


She’s making the same face he makes when he’s fucking pissed. Sion’s not sure if he’s ever seen Megumi look so genuinely mad before and that is- that’s really not good. 


It’s kind of insane, actually, how uncannily identical her angry look is to his. Megumi rolls out of her futon and somehow manages to make the motion look petulant, stomping to her feet as her nose scrunches up in annoyance. “Fine,” she bites out. “I’ll get ready ‘cause- ‘cause you’re being mean to me.”


Good lord. Sion has to consciously remind himself that his daughter isn’t even eight and already struggles with emotional regulation more than most children do, but even then this is still fucking ridiculous. Like, this has to be the dumbest reason a kid has ever been mad at their dad, right? Sion tries not to take her attitude personally but Megumi stomps over to her closet and the visceral anger is written even in just her tense shoulders. He couldn’t even tell you the last time she was this mad at him; he couldn’t tell you if she’s ever been this mad at him. 


On instinct, Sion kind of wants to apologize. Don’’t be mad at me, please, I’m your Appa and I’m trying my best for you. And yes, he’s aware that that’s a pathetic thought. But Megumi’s also old enough to deal with going on the trip she’s been excited about for weeks, he knows, because there’s no way he has to coddle her over something like this. That’s the real kicker; yesterday she was over the moon and now it looks like she wants to kill him. 


So this is- this is just crazy. It’s crazy even by Megumi standards. 


“Okay…” Sion tries to keep his voice stern instead of weary but it’s a little hard to do that when Megumi’s sending him a stink eye. “Tell me if you need anything, okay, baby? Appa’s gonna make breakfast…”


He figures disengaging is better to give her time to cool off, never mind that if they genuinely argued now it would sour the whole trip. But Megumi doesn’t even give him a response, rummaging furiously through her clothes. For a second Sion considers scolding her for that, too - he’s been trying to teach her to communicate when she’s upset instead of freezing people out - but then she looks up at him with a still clearly-angry expression.


“Okay,” Megumi signs in sign language, which is one of the select signs that Sion knows, and for a second he’s relieved that she’s at least acknowledging him. But then he- the fact that Megumi’s opting not to speak entirely is a little concerning. Is she really that mad?


A sense of foreboding looms in Sion’s chest and there’s something like a Dad’s Intuition blaring warning bells in his head. “Oh, you… you don’t want to speak right now, honey?”


This is bad. Megumi shakes her head and then turns back to her closet, pointedly ignoring him. Normally Sion would chide her for that, too, but if Megumi’s decided talking is off the table, then… then this is going to be a lot bigger of an argument than he thought it was going to be. Disciplining an autistic kid is already hard enough and yet she still manages a way to throw curveballs at him, huh? 


Sion stands over her futon and is a little unsure of what he should do. Megumi doesn’t sign all the time - it’s usually only when she’s overstimulated, or more often just tired - but she’s never angrily signed at him. That piques Sion’s worry because it’s really out of character for her. Or, well, all of this is. But it’s usually just the two of them and the house has been full of people for the past week, so maybe she’s really just overwhelmed? Sion’s usually able to read her cues but this kind of thing has never happened before and he’s at a complete loss for what to do. 


If Megumi were a “normal” kid he would probably be scolding her more because she really knows better than to treat him like this, like, as her dad. Though if she’s so mad she can’t even talk, then being angry won’t solve anything. But usually the two of them are able to talk things out instead of whatever this is... 


Ugh. Okay, fine, he’ll back off. Isn’t being a parent just so humbling?


Sion isn’t sure if that’s the right parenting move to make, but it’s the safest move to make. So, ignoring his pride entirely, he gives his daughter a smile and slowly backs out of the room. “Alright, honey,” Sion says in a light voice. “Thank you for getting up so quickly…” 


Megumi doesn’t even acknowledge him; Sion steps outside and gently closes the door behind him. Then he sighs a long, pained thing the second he’s out of her earshot, but that’s mostly because he can’t believe that parenting never gets easier with age. If anything, Megumi was way easier to manage as a literal baby. Is that normal? It’s not, right? Or is it? Is that because she’s autistic or is it because she’s just a weird kid in general?


For a second Sion just stands there and has to resist the temptation to bash his head into something. But then, because they’re both chronically absent-minded, Siyeon comes out of her room while staring down at her phone and immediately runs right into him. 


Sion balks as his sister rams directly into his shoulder. “Do you mind?”


“Well, why are you in the way?” Siyeon complains, still visibly half-asleep. But then, taking a second to right herself, she squints at him and pockets her phone. “Oppa, you look especially disturbed today.”


And, well, he’s sure he does. “Gumi’s pissed at me,” Sion tells her, still feeling pretty flabbergasted in general. “She wanted to sleep instead of going to the theme park, so we got in a bit of a tiff…”


For a second he lets that settle in the air because he knows how incredulous it sounds and he also knows how incredulous it is. But then Siyeon runs a hand through her bedhead and grins something evil. “Really? That’s so funny.”


Sion just huffs, admonished, as his sister cackles her way into the bathroom. It’s not funny at all! What the hell! 


Somehow he’s been awake for less than twenty minutes and yet Sion can feel his mind start to teeter into disaster mode; he tries to keep his head level as he goes and gets dressed, but that’s also a losing battle. As a single parent his first inclination is to feel guilty whenever he does something that upsets his kid - it’s not like Megumi has anyone else to go to, so it’s usually just easier to avoid conflict all together - but Sion would be lying if he said he wasn’t also a little annoyed at her right now. Things are stressful enough as it is and yet Megumi always manages to throw fits at the most inconvenient of times…


Sion’s been trying to stay more on the optimistic side ever since he had his tantrum at the ryokan, and as such his mom’s snide comments have just rolled off his back and no amount of teasing from Siyeon can really annoy him and even Megumi’s mood swings have felt less soul-crushing. But Sion’s also been anticipating today for a very long time so he’s taking this argument with his kid a little harder than usual. Despite his best efforts the worry still tries fighting its way to the surface and Sion’s contending with it, his resolve to stop harping on himself and also the fear that’s looming over him today. That’s why Megumi’s meltdown isn’t really helping, you know, because Sion’s already stressed out of his goddamn mind about the thing with Riku. Things will probably be fine - there’s no world in which his parents don’t find his boyfriend irresistibly charming, for one - but that’s because Riku is good at putting on a smile and nodding along to everything and being agreeable. Sion, on the other hand, is jaded and tired and burnt out and no longer able to play any part at all. 


Really, the thing that’s stressing him out the most is himself. Riku’s so charming and Sion’s never been great at acting like he isn’t affected by that charm. His acting is going to be terrible. 


“I’m fucked,” Sion mumbles as he he pulls on his couple’s Henley shirt and his nicest pair of jeans and spritzes on his cologne; he’s trying to run through all the motions of a calm, at-ease, well-adjusted single dad. But it’s hard not to get down on himself when he knows that Riku is so good at this kind of thing, talking to parents and charming them. Sion’s kind of been the biggest victim of that charm, hasn’t he? But all he can do about it right now is sigh and keep trudging on. Sion is always able to keep his head on straight when he really needs to, right?


He stares at himself in the mirror and runs a hand down his face. Right, he just needs to focus on the next right thing. And right now the next right thing is getting ready and making sure Megumi is okay and keeping everyone in line…


Sion checks his phone idly, because they’re running low on time and he’s still trying to stick to his schedule. But then he realizes there’s already a text from Riku waiting for him, which is… that’s definitely not good. What time should I get there? 


It was sent an hour ago. Fuck.


Of course he missed that, huh? Sion can feel the anxiety rising in him again, which isn’t great either. But that’s- this is fine. Sion dials Riku’s number as he leaves his room, crosses the hallway, and enters the now-empty bathroom. He flicks the light on; he retrieves his moisturizer; he tries not to panic.  


Hopefully his boyfriend won’t be too upset that he took this long to get back to him. Sion presses his phone to his ear and it rings just once. And then Riku picks up: “Hi, sexy.”


It’s dumb how even just Riku’s voice subdues him, or at least it subdues him way more than anything else really could. Sion smiles something exasperated and fond. “Hi, baby.” Then he starts on his normal cleanser-moisturizer-sunscreen routine and asks: “Are you… um. Are you ready?”


Riku’s voice comes out wry on the other side of the line. “I’ve been ready, Sion.”


And, well, of course Sion feels guilty for that. “I’m sorry I missed your text. Gumi woke up in a bad mood and I’ve been- I had to deal with her. But if you come over now, we’ll have plenty of time.” Then Sion actually checks the time. “Er, well, maybe you should hurry a little bit…”


He knows that he’s a mess right now but Riku, as usual, seems pretty unperturbed by his frantic energy. “Okay, I’ll hurry. Do we need to debrief on anything?”


For a second Sion just blinks because he hasn’t thought things out just that far yet. But of course that doesn’t change his inability to act casual around Riku and also the very intimate relationship his boyfriend has with Megumi and how all of that is gonna be on display to his parents. Then Sion blinks again, hard. “Right. How about… um. When you get here, text me, and we’ll talk first. Sorry, I’m a little out of it…”


He can hear Riku’s smile even in his voice. “You seem a little dazed, yeah. What, should I meet you outside?”


“Probably.” Sion squeezes an ungodly amount of toothpaste onto his toothbrush and runs it under the sink tap. “Sorry, I know this is crazy. I’ve just been really-” He doesn’t even know how to explain himself and so Sion brushes his teeth and says through a mouthful of toothpaste: “This is stressing me out a little bit.”


He hopes Riku can understand him. But Riku, of course, only chuckles. “No, I know. I’m nervous too. But I think it’ll be okay.” In the background of the call there’s a door opening, a door closing. “I’ll head over now, okay? And I’ll text you when I’m at your place?”


Sion closes his eyes briefly but that’s because Riku is a light in a sea of darkness, like, seriously. He’s basically an angel sent from heaven to regulate Sion’s nervous system, or maybe he’s just an angel in general, because there’s no way in hell any of Sion’s past partners were able to flip him from out of his mind to perfectly sane like Riku can. He smiles like an idiot at the thought and says: “That sounds good. See you, baby.”


Riku hums. “See you, hyungie.” And then he hangs up before he can get scolded. Of course he does.


Sion stands there for a second, dumbfounded, his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. It’s just hard not to be entranced by Riku even half a year into their relationship, huh? But then he sees the time in the corner of his eye and almost has a fucking aneurysm. 


God, he just- he needs to get hustling. 


So Sion hustles. He zooms through the rest of his morning routine and soon flees from the bathroom. Megumi passes him on her way inside, sending him a dirty look. Normally Sion would take the time to chide her for that, or maybe even just apologize for earlier, but he doesn’t have the time nor the energy right now. Sion already feels bad enough as-is, okay? He never uses the money he spends on his kid to hold over her head because of course he doesn’t, Megumi’s seven and she’s his only baby and Sion spoils her in every way he’s possibly able to because he’s all she has in return. And my Megumi, he thinks every day of his goddamn life, will never have to go without anything. She just won’t.  


But still, this is one of those times where Sion has to swallow his pride and push her a little bit. Megumi will- she’ll be fine. Sion knows she will because he’ll make sure of it and he always, always, always makes sure of it. So at least there’s that, right? One way or another, they’re going on this trip and she’s going to have a great time. 


He just knows it. Again, that’s his dad’s intuition. 


Sion skids into the kitchen and is a little horrified to find his mom craned over the stove. “Eomma,” he complains on impulse, never mind that this way they’ll at least be eating on time. But still, it’s just- Sion wants her to take a fucking break just for once, god. No wonder he ended up like this, his parents are even more relentless workaholics than he is!


“No, let me cook. You woke up late!” His Eomma, of course, waves him off. “A little cooking won’t kill me, Sion, I’m not geriatric. Do you think your parents are already elderly?” Her hand, hovering over a dish towel, scares the shit out of him. 


“It’s not that,” Sion grumbles, but he relents and makes his way to the coffee maker to start a pot for himself and Siyeon. “But you’re in my house, you know…”


“And when do I get to cook for you, huh?” She leans over only to pinch at his ear. “You were hopeless in the kitchen before Megumi was born, I feel better doing this.” And, well, Sion can’t argue with that. His bachelor days may be long-gone but it’s true he’s only able to feed his kid because it got to the point of learn-or-die.


So Sion clenches his jaw. “Well. I’m buying dinner.”


His mom sends him side-eye. “We’ll see about that.”


Ugh. It’s not like Sion can argue anyway because his mom has a feast of dakjuk and rice and eggs and a bunch of banchan ready for all of them. Sion doesn’t remember her prepping those earlier in the week. Did she just- did she just make those? There’s no way, right?


But again, he’s not allowed to talk back. Sion sits at the dining table and hands Siyeon a cup of coffee when she comes slouching over next to him. She grins. “Thank you, Oppa.”


“Mhmm.” Sion pours tea for his dad next. “You, take this. You’re too old for coffee now. It’s bad for your teeth and it’ll make you shake...”


“What are you saying,” his dad grumbles. He sends a longing look to Sion’s mug but that’s because he got addicted to this shit while working long farm hours. 


“It stunts your growth in old age,” Siyeon adds in a sage voice. Then she cackles, squirming away when their dad swats at her. “Appa, we’re joking!”


“So annoying,” he grunts. “And Megumi’s just like you, too. You’re both bad influences on her.”


“I’m her dad,” Sion grouches, admonished. But he can’t argue back, because as if on cue, Megumi comes trudging to the dining room. Her hair is a mess as it always is; she’s wearing her favorite monkey sweater and her usual overalls, though their straps are twisted up in the back. Normally she has Sion help her with them, which makes his heart pang. But Sion still smiles as best he can. “Ah, baby, good morning…”


Megumi sends him a look, sitting down at the table with a huff. She signs with her hands: “Pancakes?”


Siyeon blinks. “What’s she doing?”


Sion’s dad squints. “I dunno…”


“It’s sign language,” Sion says. “She-” He cuts himself off when Megumi’s stare only hardens, her body curling up as she wraps her arms around her legs. But then, again, she signs angrily at him. 


“Where are my pancakes?!” That glare is enough to kill someone, what the hell. 


Normally she doesn’t act so bratty in front of her grandparents - even Megumi knows to be scared of her Halmeoni’s scolding - so Sion’s eye twitches. “We don’t have pancakes, honey. Your Halmeoni made dakjuk and eggs.”


Megumi stares at him harder. And her hands say: “Make some.” She probably means it as a question but her hand motions still come off curt.


So Sion just shakes his head. “Baby, you have to eat what’s here. We’re not making pancakes.”


It’s scary how intense Megumi’s expression gets; for a second Sion is deeply worried that she’s going to throw a full-on tantrum because her eyes go unfocused and her mouth twists up like she’s about to really lose it on him. Sion’s been the victim of that expression many times before - he already knows she’s going to yell.


But then, to all of their surprise, she just sniffles. And then she sniffles again. And then a tear falls, and then another, and Megumi promptly bursts into a sob. Her voice comes out warbled: “B-But- but I- Appa, you-”


Oh, jeez. So it’s a crying kind of day instead of a yelling one, huh? Sion sets his coffee down on the table and moves to comfort her, ignoring the incredulous looks on his dad’s and Siyeon’s faces because he feels similarly. “Honey, we can’t have pancakes everyday. This will be yummy, too.” He strokes over Megumi’s hair and pulls her into his side.


“But I wanted pancakes,” Megumi sobs. And this is a part of parenting too, Sion has to remind himself, just in order to keep fucking sane. He’s just glad that his parents are very doting grandparents because if this were him he’d be getting his ass beat right now.


But his mom only pokes her head out of the kitchen. “Aigo, Sion, I can make her pancakes. How do you make pancakes?”


And that’s not fucking helpful, is it. “Eomma,” Sion groans. He tries smoothing Megumi’s mess of hair into something sensible even as she cries and cries into his shoulder. “She can go a day without pancakes. We’re gonna be eating sugar all day at the park.”


His dad frowns. “But-”


“Would you have given me pancakes?” Sion asks them seriously. At that, his dad huffs. Yeah, that’s what he thought. “Gumi, eat some eggs. They have pancakes at the theme park.”


“But I want them now,” she sobs. “You’re so mean, Appa.”


That makes Siyeon snort. Sion shoots her a dirty look. He already feels guilty enough that he has to play both the bad cop and the good cop, for the love of fucking god, he doesn’t need to be reminded that Megumi only causes fits over the dumbest of things because she’s seven. “I-” Sion doesn’t even know what to say because of course he wants to apologize. But then his phone buzzes and he knows it’s Riku, so he sighs. “Listen, I’ll be back in a second. But you have to eat what Halmeoni made.”


“Halmeoni can make pancakes!” His mom cuts in. Again, that’s not helpful.


“Absolutely not,” Sion groans. “Siyeon, don’t let her do that.” Then he kisses Megumi on the forehead. “Baby, you’ll be okay.”


“I won’t,” Megumi sobs even harder. And, well. There’s not much he can do about that right this second so Sion only ducks out of the room, half of him fuming and the other wanting to spiral as he toes on his shoes in the genkan and ducks through the front door.


It makes him feel like such a bad dad whenever this shit happens and he’s so tired and it’s- it’s so hard to deal with this kind of thing all on his own. Sion wishes he had someone else to balance out his discipline because that’s how it’s supposed to work, right? There’s supposed to be two of them, there’s supposed to be someone to wipe her tears when she decides she hates him, there’s supposed to be someone to help him teach Megumi right from wrong and how to regulate and all the shit he’s awful at. But Sion doesn’t have anyone else, and that’s the fucking thing that’s still eating away at him even all these years later. 


God, even those tickets were supposed to cheer her up, but of course even that’s not enough. He never does enough, does he? God, he’ll never be enough, nothing ever will be, he still- he’ll always-


“Woah,” Riku is the one who catches him when Sion honest-to-god stumbles out his front door. As always Riku is warm and steady, taking Sion by the shoulders and leveling him with a nervous smile. “Hey, careful. You’re getting too old to be falling like that, Appa.”


Sion lets himself be fixed upright. “Sorry,” he grumbles. He’s in a bad mood and that is- fucking hell, he wanted today to go better than this. He needed it to.


“You look- is everything okay?” Riku leans up to meet his eyes. “You seem mad.”


God, of course he’s able to catch that. Sion softens when Riku squeezes his shoulders because he’s the only person on this entire earth Sion would let himself look this upset in front of. “I- I’m not mad. Megumi’s just really angry at me and I’m-” Sion sighs and rubs at his forehead. “I feel bad whenever I upset her. But I don’t have a choice, do I? Someone has to discipline her but I’m her only parent so now I’m the bad guy…”


Sion’s voice trails off. He’s not used to it, yet, being given the space to complain. But Riku just nods. “I know what you mean. It’s like that at school, too.” Riku smiles. “She’s stubborn just like her Appa.”


Sion pouts even though he knows Riku’s only being honest. “That’s not helping...”


“I’m sorry,” Riku’s smile grows, though. He presses in close enough to give Sion a hug. “Does this help? It’ll be okay. I can help you sort her out if you want…” Then he pauses. “But only if you want me to.”


He’s so sweet. Sion manages a tiny, exhausted smile as he squeezes Riku into his arms. He really needed this damn hug. “No, I’d love your help. She likes you more than she likes me, you know.” 


Riku noses into him. “That’s not true.”


It is, though, and Sion kind of loathes it even though he’d be a hypocrite if he said he didn’t understand that if he were seven he’d also like Riku more than he likes his own dad. So again, he just smiles. “It’s okay. I can deal with being her second favorite.” And, well, that’s true - Sion will be fine.


They hug for several long moments and it’s insane how Riku always calms him down just by, like, existing. It’s kind of funny how little effort it takes, too, because they only have to hold each other and Sion’s heart rate settles. There’s chaos waiting for him back inside and yet this is renewing his strength more than anything else really could. His boyfriend really must be the best in the world…


It’s after a full minute that they pull away from each other. Riku grins at him and Sion, because he’s an idiot, is helpless but to grin back. And then that only makes Riku grin even wider. “What’s that look for?”


Sion shrugs, feeling fond and silly and relieved. “I dunno, you make me happy. And you also look really pretty today.” He brushes Riku’s hair out of his eyes and he can’t look away from his face, really, though his outfit is also fitting. Or, well, everything about Maeda Riku is always fitting and well-put together and perfect. But that’s not new. 


“Do I?” Riku leans back just enough for Sion to have a view of his full outfit, though his ears are pink. “I wanted to look good. Um. For your mom, I guess.”


Sion’s smile goes wry. He squeezes Riku’s waist. “My mom? Not my sister, right?”


It’s funny how fast Riku’s expression goes petulant, his bottom lip jutting out. “No.”


Sion can only huff out a laugh. Having Riku here has already eased so much of his usual parenting guilt; it can’t relieve everything, no, but it relieves more than he could manage on his own. And besides, this sight is a nice one. Riku unsurprisingly looks good in winter clothes. He’s wearing jeans and a button-up under a heavy overcoat, a scarf donning his neck. He’s really just so handsome, isn’t he? Sion straightens Riku’s scarf with a smile and then kisses his forehead.


“Sorry, I won’t tease you. I’m just glad you're here. I’m a little frazzled now, but…” Sion pets over Riku’s hair and his smile widens. “I’m calmer when you’re around. And I know I’m gonna be a bad liar today, but that’s okay.”


Riku looks up at him, his smile fading a little, though his hands close around Sion’s. “Is it? Do you think we’ll be alright?”


And, well, Sion’s surprised by how settled he feels now. He’s not so worried anymore, and even though he’s going to struggle to reel in the affection, it’ll be fine no matter what happens. Sion feels… he’s not sure quite what would happen if his parents were to figure them out. It wouldn’t be good if they did, obviously, and so he’s going to be on his best behavior anyway. But Sion also needs Riku around him and his kid and he wants his parents to know, in some way, that there is someone taking good care of him and Megumi. Maybe Riku isn’t the hypothetical wife they want for him, but he’s still…


Well, he’s something close. Sion shrugs again. “I dunno. You’re important to me and I want them to meet you.”


Riku pinkens a bit. “Okay. But we’re still being low-key, right.”


Sion nods. “Yeah. But if- if something happened, I’m choosing you. You know? If it came down to it, I would.” He’s told Riku this before but even he’s still surprised by how much he means it.


Immediately, Riku’s eyes cast down to the ground. His grip on him tightens. “You- don’t say that.”


“Why not?” Sion’s only being honest about his choice - that’s the thing he’s come around to, the fact that he knows what choice he’d make. His talk with Yushi was enlightening and Sion just generally doesn’t think he could go back to the way things were before if he really had to pick between an easier life without Riku or a harder life where they at least get to be together. Sion’s relationship with his parents is important to him but he has already lived a lie for them for so many years; he already lost three decades to it. Isn’t it time that he chose not the right thing, but what makes him happy?


But Riku looks away as Sion stares down at him, fully serious. “You just shouldn’t do that for me,” Riku mumbles. “Your family is important to you, so don’t make waves with them…” But his hands, still in Sion’s, squeeze. 


It’s a little silly of them to be doing this now. Sion can still remember that talk they had in the car a month ago and he can still remember how happy Riku had been at the prospect of not being hidden. And yet he’s choosing to act selfless now? Sion doesn’t want Riku to be selfless; he likes this man for how shameless he is, for how much he wants, for how deeply he feels things. Riku looks down at the ground. His ears are red. Sion’s not quite sure what he’s feeling but he squeezes his hands back. 


“They’re important to me, sure, but so are you.” Sion means every word, smiling when Riku finally tilts his head up so their eyes can meet. “We’ll see what happens. But to me, you’re-” Sion leans in to kiss him, just once, a peck. “I need you. I need you more than I need, like, anyone. Do you understand that?”


Riku looks flustered and maybe that’s apt because out of the two of them it’s not usually Sion who makes these big, sappy declarations. But when Sion levels him with another look, he nods. “Alright. I guess…” And, well, it’s not like he has any choice in the matter anyway. Sion’s not letting him go, ever.


“Good. Because you’re mine, so-” Sion smiles. He squeezes Riku’s hand again before dropping it. “Let’s go in. Also, I’m sorry in advance.”


Riku’s returning smile is faint but at least it’s there. “I’m sure it'll be fine...”


With that, Sion opens the front door and steps back inside. They’re both immediately met with the sounds of Megumi wailing and Sion’s family desperately trying to reason with her in the other room, and yeah, just as he expected, all of this has turned into a literal shitshow. Sion sends Riku a look and mouths: It’s pretty bad.


“Just a bite, Gumi!” They can hear Siyeon desperately attempting to reason with the kid. Sion’s honestly shocked that she’s even trying.


But then Megumi, of course, is being as petulant as she possibly can. “No, I don’t wanna!”


Sion runs a hand down his face and watches Riku’s expression change from a smile to absolute horror. Which, yeah, is definitely apt. It’s been a long, long time since Megumi’s thrown a fit like this.


But his family keeps trying to please her anyway. “Honey, Halmeoni can make you pancakes…” God bless Sion’s poor mother’s heart, never mind that she’s pointedly going behind his back. He’s honestly just grateful that she doesn’t ever try to discipline his kid like she disciplined him. 


And yet that only makes Megumi even more aghast. “But then Appa- Appa’s gonna be even meaner! He’s already being so mean to me!” She wails again. “It’s not fair!”


Sion shakes his head, sliding off his shoes. Then he shuts the door behind them and helps Riku shed his scarf and coat. They share another look and even Riku seems disturbed by all the ruckus she’s making; his face softens when Megumi starts sobbing again in the next room over. “Oh, Gumi’s really upset…”


“Yeah,” Sion’s smile is sardonic, helping Riku out of his coat. “Are you sure you want to deal with her?” He only asks because it’s kind of insane that Riku wants to help at all. 


But Riku nods. “She might just need a little redirection…”


Well, Sion has always adored Riku for that boundless optimism, so he’ll concede. “Alright, then.” And then he calls loud enough for his kid to hear, cutting right through all the sobbing from the dining room: “Gumi! Your Sensei’s here!”


Sion didn’t think him saying that would actually do anything in terms of the meltdown because Megumi’s not really the type of kid who’s able to just snap out of things. But then, like a switch has been flipped, the crying stops. They both look at each other, confused. Then Megumi pops her head out of the dining room, sniffling. “S-Sensei? You’re here?”


“Hi, baby,” Riku smiles. “Have you been good?”


To be honest, Sion is kind of offended by how easily she cheers up upon seeing Riku’s face. Megumi comes running over with tears in her eyes and a relieved expression like this is her first time seeing Riku after many years apart. “Sensei, I missed you!” She burrows into him for a hug. 


“I missed you too, Gumi,” Riku pets over her hair. Then he sends Sion a look. “Goodness, she’s a mess.”


Sion huffs. “Well, I tried.” Whether or not that’s true is up for discussion, but still.


“You poor thing,” Riku crouches down to nuzzle into Megumi’s face and wipe her tears and snotty nose. “Hm, baby, what’s wrong? I thought you were being good for your Appa.”


Megumi’s face falls. “I- I was trying to be. But then I was- and Appa-” She buries into Riku’s shoulder. “I didn’t sleep well, Sensei, and I wanted pancakes, and everything’s loud, and I- I-” She sniffles again. “I wasn’t being good…”


God, that just pulls at Sion’s fucking heartstrings. He tries not to step in as Riku wipes her tears but it’s hard not to coddle his only baby, you know, especially when said baby is usually so good to him. “Oh, Megumi,” Riku says. “You have to tell your Appa that, honey. Weren’t you excited for the trip today? Were you just cranky because you slept weird?” 


Megumi hides her face in Riku’s neck. “Yeah…”


Riku smiles and strokes over her hair. He doesn’t usually lecture since that’s Sion’s job - you know, as her dad - so he just holds her close. “You must be hungry. Hm? We all feel better after we eat, you know.” Then he sends Sion a look, as if to say: Is this okay?


Sion’s a little peeved that Megumi seems to have no qualms settling down in Riku’s arms rather than his own, but he’ll let it go if she’s ready to be soothed. So he nods and mouths: Thank you.


Riku smiles before turning back to their petulant kid. “Let’s not cause problems for your Appa, okay?” He coos again. “Your Appa works so hard…”


“I know,” Megumi squeezes him. “I was being bad…”


Riku holds her tighter and Sion reaches down to pet her head. “Gumi,” he chides a little. “You’re not bad. Do you wanna eat?”


Megumi doesn’t look up at her Appa, but she nods. And, well. At least there’s that.


The moment is tender all things considered, and when Sion steps in closer to smooth his hands over Megumi’s shoulders - he doesn’t want to overwhelm his kid with any more lecturing just yet, never mind that they still need to talk some things out - she melts into his touch. Sion would really like to sit in this for a second because he’s had an awful fucking morning and Megumi’s wailing haunts his soul everyday as it is.


But then he remembers who else is in the house, and very quickly all tenderness flees. His mom and Siyeon poke their heads out of the dining room. “Oh, Sensei’s here,” Siyeon grins.


Sion’s mom, however, is aghast. “Sion,” she says, sounding in-awe. “Who is this handsome boy hugging Megumi?”


So, naturally, they make introductions. Riku is as well-mannered as ever, bowing and shaking hands as Megumi clings and clings and clings to his waist. In clunky Korean he calls himself Megumi’s teacher and Sion’s friend. His pronunciation is questionable but Sion’s mom damn-near swoons over Riku’s face, so that’s- well, it could be worse.


“I told you my friend was coming over,” Sion reminds his parents as they all sit down at the table. Riku sits down next to Sion and doesn’t complain as Megumi settles into his lap, who looks much more at ease now that her Sensei’s here.


“I didn’t know your friend would be so handsome,” his mom is still admonished, though. “And he’s Megumi’s teacher?”


“Yes,” Sion’s smile is wry. He turns to Megumi. “Are you gonna eat what Halmeoni made?”


At the mere reminder there are no pancakes for her to gouge on, Megumi’s smile falters. Her lip wobbles just a little. “I- I’m hungry. But I dunno...” Sion doesn’t blame her for being honest, though, because there are days Megumi will only eat three of her select favorite foods and today very well may be one of them.


But:


“Come on, honey, just a few bites,” Riku smooths over her hair to tie it back into a neater pigtail. “Sensei will buy you sweets at the park, okay? Your Appa’s making sure you don’t have a sugar crash.”


It is a little humiliating that Riku is better than Sion at reasoning with his own kid, to be honest, but at the same time Riku has twelve times the practice. So Sion just watches Megumi consider the offer, mulling it over in her mind. And then she concedes: “Just a little...”


“Good girl,” Riku praises. “What do you want, hm? Eggs? Sensei will get it for you.”


Sion sighs as Megumi makes Riku do her bidding, though that’s typical for them. Across the table he can see Siyeon visibly bite back her teasing. Both of his parents seem quite taken with Riku, though it’s hard not to be taken with Riku, huh. Sion just can’t help but want to growl at everyone on impulse because he already knows his boyfriend’s amazing, thanks, that’s why Sion has him locked down. 


“He’s good with her,” is all Siyeon says in Korean. She takes a noisy sip of her dakjuk. “Right, Eomma?”


Sion’s mom stares as Riku loads up a plate for both himself and Megumi, because of course only an angel like Riku would oblige so easily with Megumi’s latched onto him like a leech. “Oh, yes,” his mom agrees in a distant voice. “I didn’t know you had friends other than Yushi, Sion. And that they’d be so good with her…”


It’s true that Riku is good with Megumi in a way no one else is, and Sion tries not to look too smug about it for the sake of his image. But he smiles at his parents and it comes off a little self-satisfied. “It’s just him, really. Riku’s a good guy.” 


And, well, it’s not like that’s a lie. So.


They speed through breakfast and Yushi arrives in the midst of the chaos, bundled in a puffer jacket like a gigantic marshmallow. “Sorry, there was some drama at the ryokan,” he plops down next to Sion. “Yui got into it with Atsuki and I’m pretty sure I‘m gonna have to fire both of them ‘cause they’re both scheming to get with you.”


He explains this to them in Japanese very quickly while Sion’s parents are distracted by the gift he brought them, some fancy matcha set from the city. To say that this news is more like a bomb being dropped on their conversation would be an understatement. Because… because what the hell, exactly, is going on at the ryokan?


Riku balks. “There’s another girl trying to get with Sion?” It’s kind of offensive that he doesn’t sound as jealous as much as he sounds amazed. Isn’t he supposed to be Sion’s boyfriend?


Sion can only sigh. “Atsuki is a housekeeper. We don’t even work the same shifts. I didn’t know she-” Then he groans. “What the hell is going on…”


“Your face is causing a disturbance amongst my staff,” Yushi deadpans. And when they glare at him: “I’m joking. But they’re both young, you know? It’d be irresponsible if I let the drama continue. Some of the hotel guests saw them going at it, so-” He reaches for a bowl of dakjuk. “It’s making all of us look bad.”


Of course Sion’s admonished at the news - he had no idea there was drama going on behind the scenes, what the fuck - but he’s glad Yushi’s at least taking care of it. He squeezes his shoulder. “Sorry, Yuu-chan.”


“What are you sorry for, they’re being petty and I’m the boss. You’re like ten years older than both of them, I dunno why they think they stand any chance.” Yushi seems unperturbed, at least, immediately digging into his food. Then he catches Siyeon’s eye across the table, who clearly can’t keep up with the rapid-fire Japanese. He switches to Korean: “I’ll tell you later.”


Siyeon pouts. She kicks Sion under the table. “That’s not fair.” Why the hell is she taking it out on him?


So then, of course, Sion just kicks her back. “You’ll be fine.”


Soon enough they all finish up and get ready to go. Megumi’s in a remarkably better mood with Riku fixing her clothes for her and Sion’s a little sad that she didn’t go to him instead, but it’s mostly whatever. Mostly. But then Sion kneels down to help tie up her boots since he always does that and Megumi looks a little embarrassed when their eyes meet. It’s good for her to have just enough shame to be self aware, at least.


“Baby,” Sion says gently as he finishes tying her shoes and pats her ankle. “Look, I’m sorry that I upset you, okay? But sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do. And Appa thought you really wanted to go on this trip…”


Sion tries not to sound bitter or bring up money because that’s not classy of him. But Megumi hangs her head. “No, I’m sorry. I was being grumpy and mean…” Her hand reaches out to rest on Sion’s shoulder. “Sensei said I should’ve communicated instead of being bad…”


And, well, Sion wouldn’t call Megumi “bad” by any means, but he appreciates the apology nonetheless. So he just sighs and ruffles her hair. “It’s okay. But let’s work on it together, okay? I’ll learn more sign language and we can talk things out, too. I don’t want you to think that I’m mean.” For a second Sion falters because the thought of Megumi resenting him scares him shitless.


But to his surprise Megumi just nods back at him, leaning forward to give him a big hug. “You’re not mean. I’m sorry, Appa, I love you.” She squeezes him. "You’re actually the best Appa in the world, it’s my fault…”


Oh, god, she’s so sweet. Sion smiles and hugs her back. “Really?” He grins when she nods again.


“Really.” Megumi even gives him a peck on the cheek. “I’ll be good now.”


Sometimes solo parenting feels absolutely thankless, but then it’s times like these when Sion feels so happy that he could die, really, because all he’s ever wanted was to be the kind of Appa that Megumi can say these things to. “I love you too, Gumi,” Sion gives her a peck on the cheek right back. “Let’s just have fun today, okay?”


“Okay,” she nuzzles into him. “I’m excited…”


So at least that ended up fine enough. Sion’s gonna let bygones be bygones for now - Megumi doesn’t need to be shamed, you know, and he wants her to have a happy day at Universal with him - because more talks can be had later on. But there’s also no doubt that Megumi only had a freakout because she was overstimulated, so Sion still grabs what has been dubbed in the past few months as the “meltdown bag.” It’s a kid’s backpack; in it he keeps noise-cancelling headphones, art supplies, and a few small stim toys. He also brings along Megumi’s favorite hoodie and her bunny stuffie and a book she’s been reading, like, just in case. Normally Sion doesn’t try to anticipate this stuff happening but most of Megumi’s issues are easily solved by having these things within reach anyway. So they’re better off safe rather than sorry, right?


It’s still a learning process, the autism-or-whatever-it-is thing, and Sion’s trying to get better at being prepared. Nowadays Megumi knows to go to him for one of her comfort items when things get overwhelming, so maybe today really was just a one-off. With age these things are starting to happen less and less, and even if the meltdowns never really stop happening that’ll be okay, too…


Riku nods in approval when Sion returns from Megumi’s room with the bag packed. He pats him on the shoulder, squeezing just once. “You’re getting so good at this, Appa.”


Sion grins something very goofy. “Am I?” Megumi’s latched to Riku’s waist again but this time she reaches out to hook her fingers into Sion’s belt loop; Sion runs a hand down her back. “It’s just good to be prepared, you know…”


He smiles down at Megumi because, like, she’s the very thing his world revolves around. She’s his sun and there’d be no point in living if he didn’t have her and still, even after everything, Sion doesn’t regret a single moment that’s led him to having a daughter like her.


Megumi lets go of Riku to reach up for him. “Appa.” She only has to say his name and he’ll come running, too.


“Appa’s here.” Sion hauls her into his arms and grins even wider when she hugs him and lets him press a kiss to her forehead. “Are you ready to go? I’ve got your bag packed, so don’t worry about anything.” He smooths the hair out of her eyes. “You know what to do if things are too loud, right?”


She nods. “Appa will make things better.”


It’s hard not to be obsessed with this kid, actually, because Sion’s spent the past almost-eight years of his life breaking his back for her and he’d do it again and again and again, no matter what, for the rest of his goddamn life. “That’s right,” he catches the smile Riku sends him. “We’re ready to go, right?”


“Yup.” Megumi squeezes him in close, close, close. And so they go. 

At least it doesn’t take much effort to pack up the car; Sion herds his family outside and stuffs the backpack into the trunk while everyone else piles into their seats. “Riku’s sitting in front ‘cause he’s the guest,” Sion bats Siyeon away. “Go sit with Yuu-chan.”


“But he’s all the way in the back!” Siyeon balks. “My legs are too long!”


“Too bad,” Sion sing-songs. And while his parents are distracted, he lowers his voice: “You should be accommodating to your bother-in-law, you know.”


Siyeon makes a face. “You’re so gross.” But even so, she goes. 


Siyeon and Yushi settle in the third row while Sion’s parents settle on either side of Megumi’s booster seat. Riku had told one of the younger kids take shotgun but he ends up there whether he wants to or not, sighing when everyone else insists he stay before typing their destination into Sion’s phone. It’s only a few hours of driving, thankfully, as Sion had to be a bit of a cheapskate and not cave into booking a hotel. But that’s fine - he queues some kpop and chugs some coffee before pulling out of the driveway. The trip’s gonna be a great one, he knows it.


“Alright, let’s go,” Sion cheers. “Today’s gonna be a lot of fun!”


Despite his cheery mood, though, the drive is a bit of a drawl. Megumi keeps most of them entertained by reading off facts about each ride at Universal because Sion had the genius idea of finding a brochure online and printing it out for her to read ahead of time. As expected, Megumi has little interest in most of the things meant for little kids. But she really wants to go on rollercoasters now that she’s tall enough, and Sion, who is absolutely terrible with heights, can only hope that she drags Siyeon around with her instead of him. 


“Ah, you really researched, huh,” Sion’s mom coos. “How sweet!”


Riku’s eyes meet Sion’s. It’s still kind of crazy that no one in his family has managed to catch onto the fact that Megumi’s quirks aren’t really indicative of usual seven year-old behavior. But alas, his life is easier if they don’t question things, so it’s better this way. 


Sion grins and reaches his hand over just to poke at Riku’s thigh with his pinkie. “Sensei, are you excited?”


Riku smiles back. “I am. But I’m not really fond of rides…” At the right angle they can hide his finger hooking onto Sion’s. It’s barely anything but it’s still nice to get any contact at all, to be honest with you.


“I hate rides too,” Sion tells him. “So Yuu-chan, Siyeon-ah, are you ready to go with Gumi on whatever she wants?”


“What?” Yushi asks in an admonished voice.


“Us?” Siyeon balks.


“Appa’s scared of heights,” Megumi leans back in her booster seat and gives them a pleading look. “You have to come with me. Please?” That aegyo is fucking lethal; for once Sion’s not the one suffering on the receiving end of those wide eyes, either.


“A-are you sure she’s tall enough?” Siyeon asks. She’s also scared of heights but much less so than Sion is. Plus she is very famously incapable of denying her niece anything. 


“Megumi checked,” Sion smiles at her in the rearview. “She just meets the threshold!”


Siyeon and Yushi both groan. Sion’s going to have a great time today, finally not having to be the main target of his daughter’s whims. Who knew that having others deal with her would feel so great, huh? 


“I can’t wait!” Megumi cheers. “We’re gonna have so much fun!” And, well, whatever the baby wants the baby will get. 


“Of course,” Yushi sighs.


“Anything you want, Gumi-yah,” Siyeon rests her head on her window and closes her eyes. “Anything you want is fine, really…”


By the time they get to Osaka both of Sion’s parents are conked out and Megumi’s nose is deep in Riku’s phone, rereading a bunch of stuff online about the theme park attractions she really wants to see. Sion pulls into the parking lot; it’s a bit aways from the park itself so there’s a shuttle to Universal Citywalk that they have to wait for. He checks the timetable on his phone to make sure he’s leading everyone to the right place as they pile out of the car. Both of his parents are bundled up and Yushi doesn’t even complain when Sion’s mom clutches onto his arm.


“I’m getting old, Yushi,” she says. “At this age, we can’t be falling…”


Sion rolls his eyes because normally his mom would rather eat rocks than call herself old. But as usual, Yushi is good to his parents. “Don’t worry, Auntie, I’ve got you.”


Sion and Siyeon bump heads over figuring out the directions because over the years they’ve both played head of household and old habits die hard. Sion’s right hand is taken hostage in Megumi’s as she bounces between her Appa and Riku; when his kid isn’t looking, Sion elbows Siyeon in the side, hard. “Stop trying to change where we’re going, I figured it out!”


“You’re bad with directions,” Siyeon argues back. Which is true, unfortunately enough. “If we go that way, then-”


“We’re already going that way,” Sion grouches again. “Why do you always try to-”


“Sion, play nice,” Riku cuts in before it can escalate. It comes as a bit of a shock because Riku doesn’t normally scold him, but the stern edge in his voice makes Sion shut up immediately. And then, pleased by that reaction, his boyfriend sends him a sweet smile before squeezing Megumi’s hand. “Gumi, your Appa can be so loud, huh?”


It’s almost shocking how quickly Sion is subdued. Was that Riku’s Teacher Voice? He lets Siyeon snatch his phone out of his hand and doesn’t even fight back. “You’re such a nerd,” she laughs.


But Sion isn’t… well, Riku told him not to argue and he wants to appease his boyfriend. So he scratches at the back of his neck and ignores the fact that his ears are turning red. “Shut up.”


Maybe Sion shouldn’t concede so easily, huh? He can feel his parents’ eyes on the back of his head because they’ve been there this whole time but it’s not like he’d ever talk back to Riku. Riku is his boyfriend and Riku is right about most things and also Sion is somewhat of a wife guy in that he’d rather die than upset his so-called wife. So, um…


Well, it’s fine. It just is.


They end up getting to the shuttle pretty easily, as it turns out that Siyeon and Sion were essentially just arguing over signage. Which is embarrassing, sure, but not the worst thing in the world. The fact that they’re in such a big group is mildly inconvenient for the packed bus, too, but Sion bows gratefully when school kids make way for his parents to sit down. He and Riku huddle Megumi between them and cling onto the handlebars as the shuttle jostles around.


“Careful,” Sion steadies a hand on Riku’s back when he stumbles. “You’re clumsy, hm?”


“I’m not,” Riku says, because he isn’t. Then he sighs when Sion grins, pinching him in the side. In low Japanese, he points out: “You really are bad at acting.”


At that, Sion goes pink. His mom is staring up at him with a very intrigued expression and normally Sion would write that off as nothing because it is nothing. He’s dated several women and he was in a heterosexual marriage and he has a full-on biological child and his parents have never suspected him of being anything but straight, or at least not as far as he or Siyeon know. But still, Sion clears his throat and rights himself.


“Thank god for this language barrier,” he mumbles.


“What language barrier?” Megumi cuts in, because of course she’s always goddamn eavesdropping. She’s palpably excited too, swaying back and forth between him and Riku, so it’s a little hard to dissuade her. 


And, well, Sion can’t exactly tell his kid that it’s a god-send her grandparents can’t speak a lick of Japanese, or at least not without having to explain some uncomfortable things. But it’s still true - this way they can’t needle Riku properly, or at least not without going through one of them. So Sion just pets over Megumi’s hair and smiles. “It’s nice our family got to come to Japan. They can learn some of the language…”


The lie is a bad one, but as usual, Megumi still isn’t at the age where she questions most of the things he says. And that’s probably not a good thing, Sion knows, because he doesn’t know if Megumi will be the type of person to ever pick up on being lied to. But she nods, humming, one of her arms squeezing around Riku’s waist. “We’re having so much fun,” she grins. “I’m happy you’re here, Sensei.”


Riku smiles back down at her, pinching her cheek. “I’m happy too, baby.” 


They arrive at Citywalk soon enough and Sion has to drag Megumi away from the glamor of big stores and eateries to remind her of the actual park ahead of them. Though she’s being surprisingly agreeable compared to how she usually is; she agrees to photos at the Universal Globe, at the gates, and even when each family member insists on a solo shot at both locations.


“Sorry we’re taking so many pictures,” Sion whispers when his mom makes the two of them pose together. He lifts Megumi into his arms and squeezes her in close, close, close. “But thank you for appeasing your grandparents, honey.”


“‘S fine,” Megumi holds up a peace sign. “Halmeoni said she’d get me a present.”


Okay, well. That’s not really surprising, is it? Maybe Sion would normally have some qualms about his parents hijacking his very innocent kid’s behavior with bribes, but in all honesty, the easier today goes the more they can all relax. And so Sion only sighs, ruffling her hair.


“In moderation,” he reminds her. You know, just on principle.


“Of course,” Megumi blinks innocently. And, well, Sion can only hope and pray that’s true.


The waterpark and Jaws section are closed for the season, which Sion’s glad for - the last thing he needs is Megumi telling his parents everything she knows about shark attacks. And as he expected, Megumi’s disinterested in the things for really young kids, like Snoopy and Sesame Street. Though she does linger by a Hello Kitty gift shop to peer inside; that’s a little surprising.


“You wanna go in?” Riku asks, as Megumi’s hand is still latched onto his and she’s stopped all of them in her tracks.


“Everything looks pink,” Megumi mumbles. She’s not really a fan of girly stuff though Sion wouldn’t say she’s much of a tomboy either. “I like Hangyodon. Do you think they have him?”


Riku just blinks. “Who’s Hangyodon?”


“He’s in Hello Kitty Island Adventure,” Yushi pipes up. And when Sion and Riku both send him confused looks, he explains: “That’s the game she’s obsessed with.”


“Oh,” Sion feels bad that he apparently isn’t caught up on Sanrio lore but he remembers that Megumi once made him sit with her while she ran around the island on her video game and gave him a rundown on every single character. So he nudges her in closer to the store. “You wanna look?”


Megumi nods, though her expression is still a little hesitant. “Yeah...”


And, well, it turns out there isn’t any Hangyodon in there at all. But that’s fine, too, because Megumi is a little intimidated by the overwhelming amount of pink everywhere and only meekly asks that they go to the Hello Kitty Cafe for dinner. “I thought you wanted to go to the Toad Cafe,” Sion reminds her. “And you thought the Toad Cafe looked yummier, remember?”


Megumi looks up at him and bites her lip. Admittedly this must be a lot for one child to decide, especially being the only one out of the seven of them who is anywhere close to being in the age group for this stuff. “Then the Toad Cafe,” she decides. “We can do Hello Kitty next time...”


As usual, Megumi’s reasoning is surprisingly sound considering her age, though that’s something Sion’s very grateful for. Normally he wouldn’t make her choose between much - he’s the type to say Megumi, Appa’s wallet is open and the world is your oyster - since when it’s just the two of them he can spoil her with a ton of bullshit. But Sion already agreed to get her those useless powerbands in Nintendo World and he has to be a little stingy to make up for it. Deep down he wishes he didn’t have to, but alas, he’s a handyman at a ryokan…


“Okay, that sounds good,” Sion ruffles her hair. “Let’s go look at the fun stuff, alright? We can shop later.”


And so, finally ready to explore, they head to Nintendo World. It’s packed to the brim with tourists but that’s fine. Megumi walks between Sion and Riku, holding their hands as they guide her along, as she’s just small enough to easily get swept away by crowds. But she’s more locked in on all of the decorations and the rides and the funky shapes and colors. It’s a rare instance that Megumi doesn’t seem to be scared of all the people around them, either, thank god. 


“Wow,” she breathes. “It’s like we’re in Mario Kart, Appa.”


“It is,” Sion agrees with a smile. “Is it everything you hoped it’d be?”


Megumi’s eyes shine as she grins up at him, squeezing his hand. And a face that pleased is the thing Sion lives for, he thinks, because Megumi looks the most excited she’s looked in ages. “This place is so cool!”


They take a few more pictures before arriving at a store to get her a powerband. It’s so she can, like, collect coins at the attractions or whatever the fuck these things do. Sion makes no visible fuss over the price though a voice in his head is screaming at him when he forks over over 6300 yen for a goddamn wristband. Megumi chooses the Daisy one, though, beaming when Sion fits it onto her wrist.


“Now we have to go find the power ups,” Riku prods her. “Should we go look around?”


“Yeah!” Megumi propels forward, her Appa and her Sensei having no choice but to chase after her. “Let’s go!”


Sion’s parents sit down for a bit while the rest of them follow in Megumi’s stead, who darts around to find the power up boxes and grin every time they light up at the flick of her wrist. Is it worth it, like, financially? No, not at all. But it’s her birthday in a few days and Sion’s a sucker anyway, so it’s fine. 


“Let’s go on rides now.” Megumi is predictably already out of breath from just a bit of running around. “Appa, there aren’t rollercoasters here. So you have to come with me, okay?” She needles him hard, leaning in close and sending him a pointed look. “Really, you have to!”


“Okay, okay,” Sion relents quickly, as the whole point of this trip is to appease her. “I’ll- Let’s just tell your grandparents first.”


The line wait times are atrocious but it could be worse, Sion figures. His parents are having a fun time wandering around on their own, so the four of them basically form a box around Megumi as they wait in line and she talks all of their ears off. By Sion’s best guess is she’ll be nonverbal by dinner at the rate she’s been going, though that’s not unusual. It is just a little amusing to him that Megumi doesn’t seem to have the foresight to pace herself at this age, but again, with time…


“I hope this thing doesn’t go too fast,” Sion sighs as they wait in line for the Donkey Kong ride. He leans a little into Riku’s side. “I think I’m getting frail with age.”


“Me too,” Riku agrees, hooking a finger into Sion’s belt loop. “Gumi, your father and I are getting too old to do these things.”


“We’re a year younger than you,” Yushi makes a face. 


Siyeon pouts. “You’re making us sound old, too.”


“Yeah, well, you’re getting up there,” Sion deadpans. Then he grins when they both smack him. “Hey, I was joking! Stop it, I-”


Megumi is largely disinterested in their lamenting, though. She wedges herself between Sion and Riku and squeezes her arms around both of their waists. “You’re still young,” she encourages. “You’re not even forty, Appa, and everyone at school’s parents are in their forties.”


“No, baby, your parents are old and frail,” Sion sighs. And then he catches his slip of tongue. “Er, I mean.”


Riku just chuckles. And that’s not fucking helpful, is it. But Megumi doesn’t seem to have caught on to what he meant by that, because she pats them both on the waist. “You’re young and beautiful,” she tells them. “That’s what Sachiko-san said about you and Sensei.”


And, well. That’s… that’s new. Sion blinks and Riku laughs. “Did she really?”


“Yup,” Megumi reports. She’s as indifferent as ever. “You can’t be old yet. Sachiko-san said she’s getting old, but she’s not even as old as Halmeoni and Abeoji.”


Sion smiles. “Ah, I guess that’s true. I’ll stop complaining, then.”


Megumi really has gotten a good deal taller. She’s approaching Sion’s chest now, burrowing into him. “It’s okay, Appa. I’ll take care of you even when you’re old...”


At least he’ll always have his sweet baby Gumi to dote on him, huh, though Sion doesn’t like the idea of him being too old and frail to dote on her. He pats his daughter on the head and tries not to think too hard about the future. “Thank you, honey...” No, he needs to stay young forever.


But Megumi, of course, just grins. “And you, too, Sensei.”


“Aw, really?” Riku swoops down to squeeze her into a hug. “I’m so lucky! Now I can’t wait to be old!” Of course he lays it on a little thick but the sweet intention is there as always. Megumi beams as she gets a peck to the forehead.


But Sion pinches his boyfriend in the hip. “Don’t say that. We’re young and beautiful, you know.”


He’d just rather not think about all of that, you know, being old and needing help to use the bathroom or whatever, though admittedly it’d be nice if the two of them had to suffer through using bed pans together. But the look Riku sends back to him is coy, maybe a little haughty. “What, you don’t want to grow old with me?” 


Siyeon and Yushi both snicker. Sion runs a hand down his face. “You know I didn’t say that.” Because he didn’t and Riku’s doing this on purpose, isn’t he.


His boyfriend just grins, though. “Well, you don’t have a choice anyway.” And Riku is as conniving as he always is about these things, leaning into Sion’s side. “Who else would you grow old with, huh? I’ve already decided that we’re getting buried side-by-side, so the second you go I’ll also-”


Sion laughs. “Why am I dying first?” But then, seeing the smug look on Riku’s face, his smile drops: “Oi, don’t say it’s because I’m old.” That makes the two troublemakers make faces like they want to interject, but Sion doesn’t want to hear that nonsense right now. Siyeon and Yushi have no right to call him old now that they’re damn-near thirty.


Riku’s smile doesn’t relent, though. “I’m just being realistic. But you can’t get away from me, okay?”


He’s so ridiculous in the best way. Sion pets over Megumi’s hair and sighs something a little too fond. “I have it so hard, huh.” Then he smiles wider when Riku’s face rubs into his shoulder, kittenish and cute and perfect. Sion leans into him as close as he can manage and his boyfriend curls a hand around his bicep.


“Yeah, well, you’re mine,” Riku mumbles, just quiet enough for no one else to hear. “You’re mine forever, Sion, so there’s no escaping me…”


And hey, Sion’s sure not complaining about that. He smiles into Riku’s hair and presses a kiss to his head. “That’s fine with me.”


They don’t spend too much time in line after that, thank god; the Mine Cart ride ends up not being too bad, either, though Sion can admit now that he’s in his mid-thirties he’s a little raddled by the motion sickness of it all. But the others seem to be entertained by it, unfortunately enough, because they have the age advantage over him. They stumble off the ride and Sion rubs at his pulsing head. Really, is it possible that his body is aging faster from solo parenting? How is he already so weak about this stuff?


“You’re really suffering today, aren’t you,” Riku pats his back with a grin.


“Be quiet,” Sion complains, swatting him away. But there are more rides to indulge in, so off they go again. 


There’s not as much to do in Nintendo World as there is in the other parts of the park, so they only get through two more rides. And then, after having some lunch - Sion buys Megumi a few expensive sweets, so she finally gets her pancakes - they meet back up with Sion’s parents. Apparently they went shopping. For years and years Sion had to beg his mom not to get Megumi girly stuff because she refused to wear any of it, but thankfully his mom brandishes a yellow Donkey Kong shirt and a piranha plant lamp; both things make Megumi beam.


“I love it,” she hugs her grandparents. “Thank you!”


Sion ends up stuffing them into the backpack. These are just two gifts of many, he can already feel it. “Don’t buy her anything else,” he tells his parents. 


“You can’t tell us what to do,” his dad grumbles. But still, they keep their wallets closed. Thank god. Sion already knows everyone else is gonna find ways to buy her stuff so he’s just trying to keep it in moderation.


After that they go on a Detective Conan ride, and then a Minion ride. They stop in a few stores that are supposedly modeled off of cities in the States and Sion lets Yushi buy Megumi a few more sweets to eat way, way later. Then they hit Jurassic Park - Sion’s glad dinosaurs are a topic Megumi doesn’t seem interested in because otherwise this would be asking for more infodumping - and then they ride a huge rollercoaster - Sion and Riku stay firmly seated alongside his parents while the others go in - and then another two rollercoasters - again, Siyeon and Yushi are saints. And then, after all of that, they’re finally ready to eat dinner.


“I’m starving,” Megumi’s feet drag. Sion can feel the impending inevitability that he’ll have to carry her, but that’s fine. She’s done surprisingly well today considering the crowds.


“We’re about to eat,” Sion pinches her cheek. “Come on, Appa made a reservation.”


They head to the Toad Cafe, wherein a table is waiting for them; the menus are small but the food looks very extravagant and Sion’s eyes glaze over when he sees the prices because they’re really… it’s just a lot of money. But that’s- it’s fine. He knew this was coming, that’s why they’re here. It’d be easier if the things that appealed to children Megumi’s age weren’t so damn expensive, but again, most kids get the privilege of a two-income household…


“Let me pay,” Riku presses him in a low voice. But Sion balks because that’s- absolutely not.


“No way,” Sion bats him away, because of course he does. Megumi’s smushed between them as she always is, and so Sion whispers to his boyfriend: “I know you got her a birthday gift, so don’t even try.”


“Well, of course I got her a birthday gift,” Riku looks almost offended. “But this is-”


“Shut up, both of you. I’m paying.” Siyeon lets her wallet plop onto the table with a thunk, ignoring their parents chiding her. “No, seriously, I don’t wanna hear it. I make more than you do.”


“Siyeon!” Sion complains. But she waves him off. 


“She’s my only niece. And also you pay for plenty, Oppa, don’t get prideful,” Siyeon says. Her eyes narrow. “I’m not taking no for an answer either.”


Sion wants to deny her on principle, of course, because that’s how he’s hardwired. Especially as her older brother, for god’s sake, Sion doesn’t think he’s let Siyeon pay for a single meal for as long as they’ve been alive. But it’s true she’s making bank at the farm and she has neither kids nor a spouse to worry about…


Sion runs a hand down his face. “Fine. But just this once.”


“No promises,” Siyeon sing-songs. Then she prods: “Eomma, Appa, get whatever you want. It’s my treat.”


“No, it’s mine,” their dad tries. But Siyeon waves him off.


“Nope. I’ve already decided.” Her grin is sharp, deadly similar to Sion’s. She reaches across the table to pinch her niece’s cheek. “What d’you want, aegi? Unnie can get you everything!”


Their meals don’t really taste as good as much as they’re just very aesthetically pleasing, but the experience is worth it because Megumi beams over the fact that her hamburger is topped with the Mushroom Kingdom’s emblem. Plus the dessert she gets is pink and ginormous, so Sion’s quite pleased with how the photos turn out. Megumi may not be able to smile once a camera’s turned on her, but when food’s in her vicinity she just naturally looks overjoyed.


Sion grins as Riku wipes whipped cream off Megumi’s face. “You’re so much like your dad,” Riku smiles. “No manners at all, huh?”


“That’s not nice, Sensei,” Sion chides. Though he knows he’s lost his stern tone because he gets another photo of Riku and Megumi craned together, and he’s so fond of both of them that he thinks he could die. “Wow, you’re both so cute.”


Riku stares back at him with a blank look. Right, time and place and all of that. Sion laughs nervously when he realizes he’s been a little too doting in front of his parents, who are also looking at him curiously.


“Do the three of you do a lot of things together?” Is all Sion’s mom asks. “Does Riku… do you normally have him around?”


Sion’s not quite sure what she means by that, not really, because surely that question could be an insinuation of sorts. But he still nods because it’s true either way. “Riku babysits when Yushi’s busy.”


Yushi nods along with him. “And Gumi listens to him better.”


Megumi pays them no mind and Riku can barely understand Korean even when it’s spoken slowly. They all watch the two of them laugh at each other in their little bubble, their smiles overjoyed, and even Sion’s mom’s expression softens at the sight Riku and Megumi make together. Though it’s impossible not to see the two of them and not feel soft, is the thing. 


“I see,” she says. And Sion’s not sure what that means, either. But the conversation moves on and no one seems suspicious and Megumi is giggling into her Sensei’s shoulder like she’s just having so much fun, so really, that’s that. 


Megumi’s worn out after eating just as Sion expected she would be, though she’s always been the type of kid to immediately go into a food coma after dinner. He graces her with the noise-cancelling headphones and even though he’s tired, too, he agrees when she requests to be carried. He heaves his kid up into his arms and they walk around some stores. It’s not so bad; Megumi’s always cute when she’s tired, always very cuddly and affectionate…


Sion brushes the hair out of her face. “Is it too loud? Are you feeling okay?”


Megumi just nuzzles into him. “No, it’s okay. Appa’s got me…” God, how can one kid be so damn sweet?


“Okay then, honey,” Sion smiles and presses his cheek to hers. “Just tell me if things are too much. We can go home soon.”


Megumi ends up being pretty subdued as they meander around the stores and Sion mostly just follows Riku around, who has a habit of going into places and touching everything like if he doesn’t he’ll die. Riku’s especially bad with stuffed animals - Sion can’t tell you how many times he’s witnessed his boyfriend pick one up and carry it around like an honest-to-god baby before deciding he should stay frugal and putting it back. It’s cute, mostly, but as Riku is with most things, he can get kind of unrelenting. 


Such as:


“I should get Gumi another gift,” Riku murmurs to himself as they poke around one of the stores. He’s already brought a stuffed animal into his arms, a little seal. Sion sighs at him. God, these people love spoiling his kid. 


“I think you’ve done enough, knowing you,” Sion reminds him. But really, that’s only because it’s true. Riku likes to make handmade gifts for people’s birthdays - for Sakuya he made a scrapbook from things they did together as children, which promptly made the kid cry over the sentimentality of it all - so Sion already knows whatever Riku has for Megumi will probably make her year. No, it definitely will.


“But still, she could use more things.” Riku pouts even though that’s not true, like, at all. He looks around the store, craning his neck. “I wish she liked toys, then I could…”


His voice trails off. Sion gives him a look, and then realizes Riku is staring at what looks to be a photobooth. “What is it?”


But then Riku turns back to him and his eyes are shining, immediately dropping the seal plushie he claimed back onto the display. “Sion, can we?”


And, well, it’s not surprising that he’d be into this kind of thing. “Pictures?” Sion’s a little weary because they’ve already taken a million photos today and he, just like Megumi, doesn’t exactly love having a camera on him. But then Riku starts pulling him by the arm and Sion listens easily. Of course he does. You know, if the wife says so…


“We have to,” Riku says. “So come here.”


They end up at the photobooth in seconds; Riku can be pretty zealous about these kinds of things, it turns out. Megumi’s awake enough to smush herself between them. “No more photos,” she whines. But Riku taps his card on the reader and pulls them inside.


“It’s just a few, baby, I promise.” He taps on a frame selection and sends Sion a look. “How’s this?”


“It’s fine…” Again, Sion’s weary. But then again, what the wife wants the wife indeed gets…


Megumi frowns, hard, into Sion’s cheek. “But smiling is hard…” It’s funny to hear that from a seven year-old, but to her it must indeed be true. “I don’t wanna smile. I’m tired.”


The first photo’s countdown starts. “You can just make a funny face,” Riku tells her. “Like this.” He puffs out his cheeks for the first one and as such, Sion and Megumi follow. 


“There’s only three more,” Sion tells her. As the countdown to the next photo begins, he presses a kiss to Megumi’s cheek and Riku, too, follows by pecking her other cheek. Almost immediately Megumi’s frown turns into a grin because she loves being doted on, doesn’t she.


“Let’s do that again,” her arms circle their necks. And so, pressing closer, they do.


The photos come out as expected, as in they’re very chaotic and none of their expressions are ever synced up. But Megumi surprisingly loves them, staring down at the photostrip in her hands as Sion hands Riku the other. She won’t stop grinning to herself. “I like these so much...”


“That’s good,” Sion presses a kiss atop her head. Most of the photos just ended up being shots of them coddling her incessantly, but to be fair, they’re still rather sweet. So then he looks up to Riku: “Are we good here?”


Riku blinks back at him for a long second before his fingers are circling Sion’s wrist. “Well, actually, I was hoping we could do one with just us…”


Sion stares. And then he looks around. His parents are waiting outside and Siyeon and Yushi are poking through t-shirts on the other side of the store. “Um. Sure, I guess,” Sion says. Again, he tends to just do whatever Riku wants, so he rests a hand on Megumi’s head. “Can you wait here for a second, honey? We’re gonna be in there real quick and then we can go.”


“Yup.” Megumi’s still smiling down at her photo. And, well, if she’s sure.


Admittedly there’s something a little exciting about being alone in the photobooth after being with the group all day; Sion sits down on the bench and grins when Riku settles down in his lap. “This one,” Riku scrolls through the photo options. The one he likes is very lovey-dovey with flowers and hearts around the frames. “Yeah, this is perfect.”


“Okay,” Sion smiles. He’s a little exasperated by the choice only because it is, indeed, very shoujo-esque. But when the countdown starts, a hand cups his cheek and his eyes meet Riku’s; his boyfriend smiles down at him. Sion pulls him in a little closer. “Hi, kitty.”


“Hi,” Riku grins as the shutter goes off. And when the next countdown starts, he leans down to kiss him. “Come here.”


And, well. Sion’s a little surprised by the force of the kiss even though Riku, who has always been a bit of a greedy kisser, has no qualms dragging him in by the nape. But admittedly his boyfriend’s mouth is addicting and Sion presses Riku in closer by the small of his back as the next photo is taken; Riku’s arms wrap around his neck and they press together as closely as they can. “You’re such a menace,” Sion grins into his mouth. 


“Yeah,” Riku grins back. “So kiss me more, Appa.” And so, you know, Sion does exactly that. 


That goes on for a little too long. And sure, Sion will be the first to admit that perhaps he can have lapses in judgement. They laugh at the first photostrip because it’s really just them smiling once before kissing for three executive frames, and also because the photos are so damning that it’s really impossible to pass them off as friendly at all. But then Sion lets Riku buy another strip - please, Sion, I need more - and this time the frame is very plain, though the photos themselves will be taken in black and white. It’s a much classier option, huh. 


“No kissing this time,” Riku says, still planted atop Sion’s lap. “This is the platonic one, so we have to look like friends.” He starts the countdown and smiles at the camera. 


Sion grins up at him. “Platonic?”


“Yes,” Riku holds up a peace sign. “So don’t-”


Sion yanks him into another kiss, of course, because once the temptation is there he has no choice but to give in. “There’s nothing platonic about us,” he reminds into Riku’s jaw, making sure he can’t get away. 


“I-” Riku breathes as he’s kissed again and again and again. “But I-”


Sion smiles into his cheek. “Baby,” his voice goes low as he squeezes Riku’s nape. “I’m your boyfriend, remember? I don’t want anyone thinking we’re just friends.” He noses down Riku’s chin, his jaw, his throat. He kisses him there, too.


Riku melts into his hands, craning his neck for more. “Yeah, maybe not…” And then he keens. “Sion, we’re in public.”


Sion just kisses back up his mouth and grins some more. “Don’t worry, kitty, I’m behaving.”


Did he really end up behaving? No, not really. Was that another lapse in judgement? Definitely, but Sion regrets none of it. They’re both breathless and giggly and stumble out of the photobooth with big, stupid grins. Megumi is still waiting for them, except this time she’s tagged by Siyeon and Yushi on either side. “You’re disgusting,” Siyeon says when she gets a glance at their photostrips. 


Sion knows his mouth is red so he just laughs nervously, once again shouldering his backpack as he lifts Megumi into his arms and Riku zips the photos securely in the bag’s front pocket. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” 


The other two look properly disturbed. But Riku rests his head on Sion’s shoulder, nuzzling his face there like his favorite cat in the world, and quite frankly Sion couldn’t care about anything less than he does right now. 


“I’d suggest a group photo,” Riku curls his hand over Sion’s bicep, “but we spent all of our money.”


Sion laughs. It’s so dumb, isn’t it? But he’s happy and that’s just- that’s it. He’s happy.


Back outside, his parents are ready to leave. And that’s fine, really, because Megumi’s nodding off in Sion’s arms anyway. But the last thing they do is stop in one more kid’s store and Riku buys Megumi his gift of the day. It’s a Snoopy plushie. Sion didn’t think she’d be into it but Megumi twists around in his arms to give Riku a hug.


“Thank you, Sensei,” she smiles. “I love it.”


“Aw, well. I’m glad.” Riku goes a little pink which is funny because he’s usually the one indulging in her so much. “Your Appa said no more snacks, so.”


“I know,” Megumi mumbles. “He’s so mean.”


Sion pinches her ear. “That’s not nice.” But he’ll concede, because they’re all ready to go home, so back home they go. 


The shuttle back to the car is calm. Megumi is still in Sion’s arms, still sleepily blinking at the photostrip of her and Sion and Riku. She shows it to her grandparents before dozing off. “Look,” she yawns. “We’re like a family.”


Sion doesn’t hide his guilt well; he looks away when his mom gives it a long, long look-over. But his Eomma eventually nods. “Those are nice photos.”


Sion’s finger curls into Riku’s belt loop. The scrutiny isn’t great, or maybe he’s looking into things too much and there’s no scrutiny at all. But still, Sion doesn’t relent. He’s never regretted indulging in his boyfriend and he never will because he’s so happy with him here and that’s all just- it’s so-


Riku’s head lolls onto his shoulder. “I’m sleepy, too.”


Sion lets him. He doesn’t know why. But he rests a hand on Riku’s waist and squeezes him in close. “Just lean on me, then.”


Yeah, maybe Sion’s being too obvious. But this is the life he’s made for himself, is the thing, and it feels like all the hurt and fear and pain of his twenties were leading up to this, you know? His life has always been leading to Megumi and Riku in his arms, both of them being close enough to hold, the three of them always together. Maybe Sion’s thinking is too wishful. It’s possible he’s still naive, or maybe he wants too much acceptance from his parents when as it is they’ve already set aside so many grievances on his behalf. But he believes it deeper than he expects himself to, the fact that the three of them belong together. 


This is what I’d choose, Sion knows deep in his heart. I’d choose them no matter what. But for now he just closes his eyes and ignores his mother’s gaze. For now, he’ll…


For now, really, this is enough.


They arrive back in the parking lot and pile into the car, and because it’s been a while since dinner, Sion and Riku run into a nearby Lawsons to get some food for everyone. Megumi nibbles on an onigiri as she nods off and Sion’s parents are happy with their musubis. While Sion drives, Riku offers him a bite of a fruit sando. “For you.”


“I can feed myself,” Sion complains on principle. Because god, Riku is ridiculous and he’ll only get worse about these things if Sion lets him.


“No, both of your hands need to stay on the wheel,” Riku chides. Then he turns to the backseat and grins. “Right, Gumi? Appa needs to drive safely, hm?”


She’s barely even awake, but Megumi still nods. “On ten and two, Appa...”


Sion sighs. But of course he still relents, letting Riku hold the sandwich up to his mouth. “You guys are really so…” He takes a bit and chews, though, and all the complaints disappear from his mind almost immediately. “Hey, that’s good.”


And, well. Sion ignores Riku smiling at him with that knowing little smirk because if he looks he will get distracted and crash this car into the nearest lightpost. But his boyfriend’s voice is smug. “It’s to keep everyone safe, hyung.”


Sion’s blood pressure spikes at the use of “hyung.” But no one else in the car is awake enough to pay them much attention and Sion can’t cause a huge fuss, so he only sends Riku some mild side eye. “Don’t do that.”


Riku just grins. “I dunno what you’re talking about.”


Everyone is subdued on the way back; luckily traffic isn’t too bad, either. They drop Riku off first and Sion is instantly lamenting the fact that he can’t even give him a goodbye kiss. But Riku squeezes his hand before reaching into the backseat to shake Gumi’s knee. “Bye, baby.” And in Korean: “Thank you for… for having me?” He looks to Sion for confirmation he used the right words. Sion nods.


“Of course,” Siyeon coos, ignoring Sion’s glare. “Sleep well, Sensei!”


Sion’s parents murmur similarly, politely bowing their heads. Riku sends Sion one last smile and then he’s slipping out of the car, closing the door behind him, and heading back into his apartment.


Sion waits for him to get inside before he puts the car back into gear and wordlessly backs out of his space. “That boy’s nice,” his dad says. “He’s very good with Megumi, too.”


Sion smiles. It’s funny that’s the thing they’ve all commented on. “He is.”


“I didn’t realize you had such a close friend,” his mom says. “You always said you never made any friends.”


It’s silly. It’s not even a snide comment, just an observation more than anything. But Sion’s hands tighten on the steering wheel and for a very brief, overwhelming second he wants to bite back: Well, no, because he’s actually my boyfriend and I love him. But of course he doesn’t. Sion is still stunned by the vitriol of his own thoughts anyway. 


“I…” Sion blinks. “I guess I forgot to mention it. I’m friends with Daeyoung, too, he’s close with Yushi…”


Er, well. At least that averts the attention. “A Korean?” His mom asks. 


“Daeyoung?” Siyeon’s voice is a little shrill. “Isn’t he the one who-”


“He- he’s a good friend!” Yushi is immediately cutting in. In the rearview Sion can see him clamp a hand over Siyeon’s mouth. “He works at the school, too, he’s Riku's assistant.”


“He’s the one who makes kimchi,” Sion nods along, hiding his smile at the ruckus all the way in the back as Siyeon pushes Yushi off of her. 


“I see,” his mom says. “So you have been making friends. Why can’t you just tell us!” Sion’s surprised by how well that diverted the attention away from his and Riku’s relationship, at least, because somehow she’s making it sound like Sion’s just cagey about his friendships.


So then, feeling very tired, Sion sighs something relieved. “I guess I forgot. Sorry, Eomma.”


That night passes easily. Sion keeps the photos in the backpack so no one can find them, hanging the bag up in Megumi’s closet and in a place she can’t reach. But not one seems all that suspicious of the two of them anyway, not even when Riku comes over the next day with Daeyoung in tow because they have food to share. And then Sion plays it low-key the day after that, too, when Sachiko stops by with Maku and Tsugumi and Riku is with them by so-called “happenstance,” helping Sachiko carry over a whole heap of a meal. Megumi’s birthday is on New Year’s Eve and they’ll be out of town visiting family, but they still want to celebrate her.


At least Sachiko’s too much older to be his potential wife, but Sion’s parents are taken by Maku of all people, hinting at a possible boyfriend for their granddaughter. And of course Sion ignores that and doesn’t translate for either Sachiko or Riku. He’s not speculating on the sexuality of any child but Maku is kind of… well. You know. He’s got a sort of vibe going on…


Sion just has a suspicion, a tiny one, because he grew up as a queer little boy and he knows the signs. Of course he’s not going to fully assume, but he just has a feeling - back when they played soccer Maku would ignore all of his female teammates and stare wide-eyed at the older boys, and just generally speaking he much prefers to hang around Sakuya and Ryo whenever they come over rather than, like, play with Megumi. But either way Megumi herself has never expressed any interest in boys - or anyone, for that matter - and despite the fact that she indulges in romance novels every now and again, they always end with her making faces at the lovey-dovey scenes.


“It’s stereotypical,” she said once. “Dating seems so lame, Appa.”


And, well. All Sion can say is that if Megumi and Maku ever become romantically involved, he will have to shoot himself in the head to cope. So.


No one comments on Riku hanging around the whole weekend even though he’ll be back for Megumi’s birthday party. Sion tries to keep a reasonable distance and he thinks he does an okay job at that, at least, because no one seems none the wiser. Sachiko bows out early with the kids for their long trip and Riku lingers for another hour before saying he needs to head out to his Aunt’s for a New Year’s celebration. 


“But you’re coming back tomorrow, right?” Megumi hugs him. “Can’t you stay the night?”


“Not today,” Riku laughs a little. He smooths over her hair. “But I’m sure in the future I can stay over plenty…” He sends a look to Sion, who shrugs. 


“Sure thing.” But that’s because Sion prefers Riku sleeping over than him not, obviously. “Let him go, Gumi, Sensei has to hang out with his family too.”


“I have to check on the boys,” Riku agrees. “And I hear Ryo-chan and Saku-chan got you a gift…”



“A gift?” Megumi beams. “Really?”


“Yup. So I’ll go get it for you and bring it back tomorrow,” Riku pinches her cheek. He bows to the others and says again: “Thank you for letting me intrude.”


Siyeon waves him off and so does his dad, as they’re both locked in on the Tigers game. Sion’s mom stands from the kotatsu to shake Riku’s hand.


“Thank you,” she says, “for taking care of Sion and Megumi.”


Sion’s a little surprised by her saying that. He’s not sure what she really means - his mom’s certainly never said that to any of his friends before - and Riku doesn’t speak Korean well enough to understand. So when Riku looks to him, Sion looks away. “She said you take good care of Gumi.” And me, he thinks, but he doesn’t say it because it’s gonna sound like she approves of- of them. 


But she doesn’t and there’s no way she ever would, either, so that just has to be that. Sion’s been doing this for too long to get hopeful now; he refuses to even entertain the thought. 


“Oh.” Riku smiles and bows again, this time even deeper. “It’s my pleasure!”


Riku’s even being a little silly about it, his hands to his belly and everything, but of course Sion’s mom is charmed. She smiles and pats him on the back. “You’re so cute!”


That night is probably the calmest night they’ve had this whole trip. Sion’s mom turns into bed early and so does Megumi. After the Tigers lose - again - his dad tipsily stumbles off too. Sion and Siyeon sit side by side at the kotatsu and split some beers. Neither of them can get drunk off of this but the thought is nice, at least. 


“You’re really settled here,” Siyeon says after they sit in silence for a long few minutes. “I figured you were ‘cause you’re dating. But Oppa, you’re really…” She knocks her elbow into his side. “You’re so happy. You’re like, glowing.”


Sion blushes. Siyeon’s not the first to point it out but it still makes him feel embarrassed over how obvious he is. “I don’t know about glowing,” Sion takes a sip of beer. “But I’m happy, yeah. I’m really happy.”


Now it feels like it’s been lifetimes since he was in that apartment in Seoul and exchanging scathing blows with Tsuchiko across the kitchen counter while Megumi wailed in her crib. It’s only been a few years but it feels like it’s been eons and Sion is so happy, he’s a kind of happy he never thought he’d be. It’s already been two and a half decades since he tethered himself to the closet for life, right? He knew he’d marry a woman and have kids and keep that part of him hidden and dead forever. He just knew it, and so he did, and so he has done that for years and years and years and years…


But now Sion is… he’s here. He’s not hiding anymore, not in the same way, and even beyond dating he’s happy. Riku is a good boyfriend but he’s also a good person, he’s basically Sion’s best friend. That’s the thing he’s stuck on. They have fun together, even when they have to drag Megumi along with them, and the funny thing is that it’s kind of similar to how he and Tsuchiko were before they got married and had the kid. You know, just enjoying each other’s company and finding comfort even in shared silence. But Riku is like that even when Megumi is hanging around. And Sion is so settled and so, so, so fucking happy. 


Siyeon sends him a sideways look and now it’s even funnier that they have the same face, because Sion could spot that fond expression from a million miles away. Siyeon hasn’t looked at him like that in… maybe not ever, huh. When they were kids they were always roughhousing and then Sion grew into adulthood too fast and he’d see it all the time, the pity Siyeon felt for him as he suffered through raising a baby alone, a divorce alone, moving to Japan alone.


But now she’s smiling, too. Siyeon rests her head on Sion’s shoulder and her arm loops with his. “It makes me so happy to see you like this, Oppa,” she mumbles. And when Sion really looks at her, her eyes are wet.


Sion can’t help but be a little admonished. “What in the world are you crying about?”


The dad instincts in him can’t be tamped down, and so Siyeon only sniffles as Sion reaches for a napkin to wipe her eyes. “I dunno,” she says. “I’ve just… I’ve never seen you so happy before. You’ve always had a darkness to you.” She chuckles, then. “But Oppa, I wanted you to be this happy. When you married Tsuchiko, I wanted you to be like this.”


Sion softens. He and Siyeon aren’t big on physical contact or coddling each other at all, to tell you the truth, because most of the time they’ll choose to butt heads before saying anything too genuine. But Sion sighs and squeezes an arm around her shoulders and pulls his little sister in close because he could cry, too.


“I didn’t realize,” Sion says, smiling and closing his eyes. “I didn’t realize you’d be able to notice. I’m really not good at acting, am I.”


Siyeon buries her head into his shoulder. “You’re not. So I thought you were an idiot and I still kinda do.” Sion doesn’t scold her for the insult - to an extent, isn’t it true? “But now, you know, you look like you have it all figured out.”


Sion’s smile grows. He wipes her eyes again. “I absolutely don’t have it figured out. But I’m getting there.”


The funny thing is that Siyeon is exactly like him, in that she’d sooner put up a hard shell and rationalize herself out of bad feelings before ever letting herself be weak or sensitive or reactive; so in that way Sion always thought that maybe Siyeon was stronger than him because she’s always been able to let things fall off her back without any second thought, too. She got bullied in school for being tall and bulky and Siyeon coped with it easier than any girl in the midst of puberty should, continuing to wear pretty things and ignore that anyone was looking at her at all. But Sion remembers one time he came home from school early and heard Siyeon crying in her room. The door was cracked open and he didn’t even peek in. But he knew why she was crying because everyday Siyeon took the bus home alone and many of those girls were their neighbors and he had heard the things they say about her, he had heard everything that Siyeon took to the cheek without giving them any kind of reaction at all. Siyeon was so strong, you know, she has always been strong, and that was the first time in years and years and years that Sion had heard her cry - it was then, he remembers thinking, she’s really only twelve after all.


For a long time he idled outside and wanted to comfort her. But then later that night Siyeon was the same as ever; she teased him, she ribbed him, she didn’t call him “Oppa” even once. But it’s a memory that’s stuck with him even now. Siyeon, the strongest person he’s known in his life, had only been a kid.


In retrospect it’s a little funny because that was one of the first times that Sion had felt really protective of her - Siyeon’s never needed his protection, not really, and they don’t have the kind of relationship where Sion assumes she needs his help. So of course he pretended he never saw anything at all; so time moved on and Siyeon only got stronger, the words meaning even less than they did before; so she became the head of their farm and their family and she became invincible. But it’s moments like this, Sion thinks, where he remembers that Siyeon is his little sister who has spent her whole life looking up to him. He presses a kiss to her temple and really hugs her for the first time in- god, it’s been years. 


“I try not to worry about you,” Siyeon tells him, still sniffling. “But you’re my big brother, you know, and I don’t want to see you suffer. But you’ve always just let yourself suffer without any complaint…”


Sion closes his eyes. It’s sore, the reminder that he’s always been like this. But he’s- he’s trying to change, is the thing, he’s trying to make a life for himself where he doesn’t have to take on all of this on alone. And he finally wants to change, too. He really, really does.


“I was… well. You know I was closeted, so I didn’t have any choice. And with Tsuchiko, I was-” Sion doesn’t need to explain that to her either. “For a long time, I really thought I was happy when it was just me and Megumi.”


Siyeon’s eyes meet his and it’s like looking into a mirror. “Yeah, that’s ‘cause you’re dumb.”


She’s so- Sion laughs. It’s just funny, isn’t it, now that they’re both grown up and they’ve gone down their own paths. “I know I’m dumb,” Sion tells her. “But I’m not gonna deny myself good things anymore, I promise. After the school year’s done, I’m gonna introduce Riku to Megumi formally.”


It’s something he’s set on, now, and Siyeon even straightens a little when he says it. “Really? That’s- that's good.” She reaches for her beer and takes a little sip. “If it were legal, I’d tell you to propose to him.”


That’s ridiculous. Sion rolls his eyes. “Siyeon, that’s not funny.”


“Oppa, I’m not joking. He’s like the missing piece to you and Gumi.” Siyeon nudges him in the side. “I wasn’t this supportive when you married Tsuchiko, remember? But now I’m all on board.”


And, well, that’s true enough. “I guess,” Sion says, his voice just a little weary. “But I’m not exactly jumping back into marriage any time soon…”


Siyeon takes another sip of her beer. “Yeah, maybe not.” Her nail flicks at the aluminum tab. “But keep him, okay? Do whatever you can. ‘Cause the last time I saw you smile like this is when you left for Seoul.”


She says it nonchalantly but that’s- Siyeon’s words come as a surprise. Sion just blinks. No one in his family really brings up his college days and they’re better for it when the memories are so sore, aren’t they, so they all pretend most of that never happened. And yet…


Sion doesn’t know why that catches him so off-guard, but Siyeon’s never mentioned anything like this before. “Really?” He blinks again. “I was… was I like that?”


He hadn’t known about this because Sion doesn’t really remember college being an exciting time in his life. If anything he had been scared shitless and was determined to make something of himself in the time he was gone, and so more than anything he had left Mokpo with a chip on his shoulder and a resolve to be brave for just a few short years. This is the only chance I’ll ever get, Sion had thought. It’s either this or I die a coward on that fucking farm. 


So the idea is… it’s just strange to him. Sion didn’t think he was happy when he left for Seoul, but maybe it was just obvious how desperate he was to leave.


“Yeah, you were over the moon to go. And I always wondered why ‘cause you knew you were gonna come back to the farm anyway. But I guess… I don’t know. It must’ve felt like freedom, right?” Siyeon smiles when Sion nods at her. “Yeah. And this time you’re even happier.”


And, well, that’s… that’s true. Sion stares down at his hands because it’s been a while since he’s even given the farm much mind. Or college, for that matter. It’s on impulse that he refuses to think about these things but recently a part of him feels as if he’s finally moved on from being that scared little boy from a dairy farm in Mokpo. Or at least he’s finally done being scared. The dairy farm always lives inside of him but that’s a given. Sion knows the lineage he was born into; the idea is maybe even a little bit comforting. He can forget the pain and just remember the familiarity, can’t he, growing up in a rambunctious house full of cousins and aunts and uncles and chaos…


“Well. Well, I am happy. And this feels like the right thing to do for Gumi,” Sion murmurs after a long moment of thinking. Even now he doesn’t really want to reflect back on Seoul at all. “I was- what happened with Tsuchiko was awful, but now we’re-”


“Well, stop making it all about Gumi and make it all about you,” Siyeon elbows him, hard. “For a second just stop being all- all self-sacrificial. Oppa, you’re happy. That’s what matters.”


Sion’s smile is wry, but that’s because she caught him reverting back to old habits, all the self loathing and the pain. He told himself he’d stop thinking like that but it’s a work in progress. “That’s true. So I-” Sion chuckles into his beer, taking a sip. Wow, is this what it feels like to finally be on the other side of things? “So think of Riku as your brother-in-law, okay? You can’t hit on him.”


“I don’t hit on him,” Siyeon groans. “I was just teasing like I always do...”


“Yeah, well, he can’t tell the difference because he sees you as me but a girl,” Sion shoves her in the side. “Don’t you realize how humiliating that is?”


But unfortunately, Siyeon only grins. “Well, to be fair-”


Sion rolls his eyes, hard. “You’re annoying,” he says. He pulls Siyeon into a hug and squeezes her so, so tightly. “I love you, Siyeon, like, so much. Thank you for everything you’ve done for mom and dad. And for me, too.”


The mood doesn’t go somber, not really. But Siyeon hugs him back and she’s surprisingly fierce about it, which is funny because she’s usually the one who hates it when Sion coddles her. “I’m just like you, you know,” she tells him. “I’ve got my duties and you have yours, Oppa. You’re happy here and I’m happy at the farm.”


It’s funny. That isn’t enough to make Sion let go of his years of guilt and shame, not really, but he breathes and it comes easier than it has in a very long time. “Are you… are you really?”


Siyeon’s face curls into his neck and it’s funny how Megumi of an action it is. “I am. So just be happy here. That’s all I want.”


And, well, neither of them are particularly sentimental people so they both quickly get embarrassed at their own sincerity. Sion laughs at Siyeon’s red ears as she grumbles something about cleaning up and Sion lets himself be pulled to his feet. She’s so strong. Maybe she’s stronger than him, more resilient and with a firmer shoulder to lean on. They aren’t quite at eye level but to be honest, Siyeon might be taller than Riku. That’s funny, too.


“No matter what happens," she squeezes his shoulder, “you have me. You know that, right?”


Sion smiles. “I do. Thank you, Siyeon.” He ruffles her hair. “You’ve really grown up so well.”


Siyeon blushes at the compliment. “I- well. That’s because I had you…” So she can be cute when she wants to be, huh. At least that’s never changed over the years - Sion can remember the first time he stared down into her crib and he had been taken by how cute and round she was, how adorable of a little sister he had, how he’d do anything for her.


That’s a very sappy memory of him to be thinking about now. Sion lets her go, though not without another compliment: “Well. I’m proud of you, you know that?”


Siyeon just bats him away. “Just- enough of that! Go to sleep, ahjussi!”


So, as is only apt, they finally head to bed. The door to the spare room slides shut after Siyeon flees with a red, embarrassed face and Sion’s surprised by how calm he feels in the aftermath of that conversation and also… well. There’s everything else, too. Over the past week or so - ever since his meltdown - he keeps catching himself in anxiety spirals. It’s a learning curve to redirect himself out of them but now that he’s not indulging in his pain, he feels so much lighter. He feels younger, too, because for once he isn’t carrying the weight of the world all alone. The burden isn’t gone but it’s much lighter and Sion can deal with that, a burden that isn’t heavy enough to crush him. 


So, you know. Things are going pretty well, huh?


Sion slips into Megumi’s room and changes into his spare clothes. Megumi doesn’t even stir through the noise. When he opens her closet to put some of her mess away, he catches sight of the backpack and it brings a smile to his face. Even with his secret here, Sion feels happy; he unzips the front pouch of the backpack and pulls out one of the photostrips. Like, really, he’s so happy.


In his hands are the black and white photos, and with the moonlight shining in through Megumi’s blinds, his thumb traces the dark lines of him and Riku. Riku is laughing into his mouth, Riku is kissing him eagerly, Riku is flushing and smiling at the camera. They’ve taken plenty of photos together before but Sion doesn’t usually look at himself because he just- he’s used to seeing his misery reflected back at him, he doesn’t need to look for it when Riku’s in his arms, right? He doesn’t want to see his misery anymore and he’s tired.


But Sion looks so happy here. He looks so happy that he doesn’t even recognize himself. Sion’s breath catches in his throat and he could cry if he had to. He’s never seen himself look so happy before but now he looks like that everyday.


It’s just- so much has changed, but for once those changes are good and Sion’s future is looking bright. He stares down at where Megumi is snoring into her pillow, sprawled across the futon as she is every night. Sion’s so used to worrying about her, too. But it’s been a while since he’s caught himself obsessing over how she’s doing, and god, that’s Riku’s doing too. Isn’t that so awful? How could Riku make such a poignant difference in their lives when Sion wasn’t paying attention? His eyes don’t get wet but something big and looming and unknowable surges in his chest. It’s a good thing. This change has been so good and now, finally, things are good for them. 


God. Sion slips the photos back into the backpack and zips the pouch back shut. Then he closes the closet, leaving his clothes in a pile at the bottom to deal with later. For now, Sion drops to his knees with a sigh and shuffles his way under the futon covers. His kid is here and she’s the loveliest thing he’s ever known and Megumi, as always, is the reason he can even be this brave to start with… 


Megumi blinks awake when he jostles her. “Appa?” She clings to him without thought, too.


“Appa’s here,” Sion kisses her forehead. “Sorry to wake you, baby.”


“‘S okay,” she still clings to him. Megumi has always clung to him and Sion would die if she didn’t, but this is also the first time he hasn’t been afraid that the clinging is a bad thing. Neither of them are afraid like they used to be, huh? “Appa,” Megumi yawns. “I love you…”


Wow. Even while barely awake she’s like this, isn’t she, the sweetest thing in the world. “I love you too, Gumi,” Sion smiles and cups her head as he brings her in closer. “I love you so much, I love you more than anything…”


She grins into his cheek. “Hehe. Now let’s sleep.”


The night is calm. Sion is getting more used to it, calm nights. And when he awakes to his daughter, a year older and still just as cuddly as she always has been, he can’t help his smile. They’re really going to be okay. 



 ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 



December thirty-first is cold and a little dreary and that’s fine because it’s still the most important day of the goddamn year. Sion’s alway makes a pretty big deal out of Megumi’s birthday on principle, you know, because it’s hard not to when she’s his baby and they’re so incredibly codependent on top of that. If Megumi’s gonna be the only kid Sion ever has then he’s gonna make sure she never wants for anything, right? It’s been just the two of them for so long and she loves how her Appa spoils her, so Sion has no qualms about going all out.


And so of course this year is no different; he’s gonna make sure it’s a great one.


Sion wakes up at the crack of dawn to plan. This isn’t a necessary step by any means but he has sleep issues and on big, exciting days his body always wakes him up early. That usually is the bane of his existence but it’s better this way because Sion can peel Megumi off of him before he tip-toes out of her room and quietly shuts the door behind him since she’s still deep enough in sleep to not stir at all. Sion then pads into the kitchen, running a hand down his face as he turns the coffee machine on, already thinking about everything he needs to get started on. It’s not that early - the microwave says it’s only six.


Er, well, okay. Maybe this is giving him a little too much time to plan, sure, but that’s fine. Sion will never say no to more time to prepare, and so prepare he does.


Megumi’s birthday would be a whole affair even if he wasn’t like this, anyway - she’s the only grandkid from him or Siyeon so his whole family loves getting in on everything. And admittedly that’s not always a good thing (his sister, specifically, can get too intense about things), but after eight years they’ve found their equilibrium. Megumi isn’t a kid who normally likes a lot of attention so Sion usually keeps it to just the family; today the so-called “uncles” are also coming over since Yushi and Daeyoung and Riku are all dead-set on celebrating, but that shouldn’t be too overwhelming. Megumi’s a family-oriented kid and she vastly prefers this kind of thing over inviting her classmates over, though Sion’s not quite sure if that’s a good thing. Wouldn’t it be better if she made more friends? It would be, right?


But with time, he reminds himself. She’s only eight. That’s a whole lot of growing up left to do!


Sion pulls his gifts out of where he’s had them hidden in the entryway closet, as it’s the only place in the house Megumi isn’t regularly sticking her nose in. Then he sits with his coffee at the kotatsu and fills out the card he hasn’t had the time to write yet. It always feels a little silly to do these kinds of things considering that Megumi, just like he is, doesn’t pay much mind to sentimental things like handwritten messages. But unlike him, she likes collecting keepsakes. So Sion wracks his brain trying to think of anything besides happy birthday, I love you, I’m proud of you, you’re so grown up now, etc, etc…


Megumi’s right at the age between Sion being allowed to say sappy things and sappy things being embarrassing to her, so he tries not to get too emotional. The card reads as such: My baby, you’re so grown now. Happy birthday! You know how proud your Appa is of you, right? You’ve gotten so big and strong. Thank you for being the best daughter in the world. I love you ♡


He thinks that’s probably good for an eight year-old. If he gets too earnest the other little shits are gonna make fun of him anyway, and Sion likes to think that Megumi knows how much she’s loved regardless of what a card says. Because, like, you know. Sion’s dedicated the past eight years of his life to that one single thing so otherwise he has severely failed as a father. 


So at least there’s that, right?


Sion rubs his eyes as he reads over the card. This doesn’t make him feel overly emotional or anything but it’s still a little hard to believe that that tiny bundle in his arms is now a fully realized eight year-old human. In so many ways Megumi is exactly the same as she was when she was a baby and the selfish part of Sion hopes she never changes. Sure, she may be a little oblivious and severely socially anxious, but as her dad he’s a little biased; he finds her naivety so charming; he finds her passion and thirst for knowledge and unending curiosity so, so, so wonderful; he finds everything about her to be, like, the best thing to ever exist.


God. Sion sighs. He wants her to be like that forever, you know, cuddly and demanding and unrelenting. He used to think those were all bad things but now he’s realizing that that’s just the kind of person his Megumi is…


Ugh. How can she be so perfect? The idea of her changing makes him want to die. 


Sion’s my-kid-is-so-perfect-and-no-one-else-can-compare tirade is only interrupted by someone sleepily slumping into the living room. He looks up to see Siyeon standing in the doorway, yawning. “You’re up too?”


Sion smiles. “Well, you know me. I have trouble staying asleep...”


Siyeon just shakes her head. “Goodness, Oppa. You’re hopeless.”


They have time before they have to start on breakfast since Sion always lets Megumi sleep in later on her birthday. Or at least until it gets unreasonable, that is, because she could probably sleep through the morning if he let her. He and Siyeon end up side by side on the couch and watching the early-morning news on KBS. She steals Sion’s coffee. “Bleh, why’s it so sweet.”


“You did that to yourself,” Sion snatches it back. “Go make your own.”


Siyeon makes a face. “You’re so mean to me.” Though she knows to dodge Sion kicking at the back of her knees. “And you’re terrible, too!” That doesn’t mean she isn’t laughing about it, though.


Sion leans his head back against the couch and smiles. “Yeah, well. You’re my twin for a reason.”


The sky turns considerably lighter outside and Sion and Siyeon watch TV in silence, only occasionally commenting on a ridiculous thing said on the news. Siyeon also brought her gift for Megumi out of her room; while she already cleared it with him, Sion still finds it a little ridiculous how much his sister splurges on his kid. It’s only an iPad, Siyeon alleges, to foster her art skills. Sion is simultaneously thankful for her and also ashamed he doesn’t have the money to buy Megumi one himself. But again, Siyeon’s childless and has no interest in ever having kids. She tells their mom that she’ll get around to settling down eventually but Sion knows better.


“It wasn’t that expensive,” Siyeon lies. And when Sion goes for his phone: “If you look it up, I’ll kill you.”


He sighs. “Okay, fine. But you can’t do this every year, alright? You already give her way too much money.” Sion’s being serious, too. Every year Siyeon transfers an inordinate amount of so-called allowance to his bank account to use on Megumi and it’s- it’s already ridiculous as it is.


“Hey, she’s your kid but she’s my niece. My only one!” Siyeon waves him off and sips her coffee, acting like none of this is any big deal at all. “And that way you can spend some cash on yourself too, Oppa.”


Unfortunately she has a point there. Sion’s in dire need of some new clothes and he’s been procrastinating on buying a lot of house stuff because he just tends to get a little frugal whenever Megumi has growth spurts and needs new pants and shoes and a whole bunch of other constantly evolving things. They don’t tell you how fucking expensive it is to have a kid until you’re in knee-deep, huh…


Sion rubs his forehead. Of course he’ll concede, though he still wishes Siyeon didn’t spoil her niece so much. “You drive me crazy, you know.”


“You can even get Riku a nice gift,” Siyeon ignores him. “Something nice, okay? I know you like your couple items.”


And, well. She brings up a tempting offer there. Sion’s never really been the better-off one his relationships and even now he still really isn’t, but a gift… a gift would be nice. Something like jewelry, maybe? Riku looks good with his earring cuffs. It’s ridiculous how fast Sion is swayed by the idea, but still, he can’t believe it’s something he hasn’t thought to consider before. He’s never gotten him anything expensive but Riku deserves something expensive. 


Matching jewelry would be nice… and it’d be something that speaks to their commitment to each other… and Riku loves those kinds of romantic notions…


Siyeon looks over at Sion and laughs at the expression on his face. “You really- do you want me to give you more money? You can get him a necklace, or a ring, or you could-”


“Don’t treat me like I’m- like I’m disadvantaged!” Sion turns bright red and smacks her with a pillow. “I can get him a gift on my own!”


Siyeon laughs and bats him off. “I know you can! I’m just offering!”


They settle down eventually, though, because now that they’re both around thirty they have no choice but to be more mature than they were as teenagers. And then, sometime after eight, their parents finally wake up. “Megumi’s still asleep?” Their Eomma yawns as she pads to the kitchen, their dad joining them on the couch.


“I’m letting her sleep in,” Sion says wearily. And then: “Eomma, come on. I’ll cook.”


He means it - because he always cooks Megumi breakfast on her birthday, that’s their biggest tradition - but his mom ignores him. “I’m just gonna whip up a few things…”


So she ends up making their usual Korean breakfast: rice and a jjigae and some banchan. Sion’s a little indignant about her refusal to let him help but that’s not anything new. His mom is stubborn even by Korean standards - she doesn’t even let Siyeon into the kitchen.


“I’m only making tea,” his sister complains as their mom whips at her with a kitchen towel. “Eomma! Seriously!”


“I’ll make it,” their beloved Eomma grouches. “Shut up and go eat.”


And, well, at least the food is good. Sion ignores the growing pile of gifts on the kotatsu - he knows he spoils Megumi but sometimes he forgets everyone else does too - and while he’s taking a long sip of kimchi jjigae, his phone buzzes. Sion checks it. It’s Riku.


I have everything ready. Are you awake? Should I head over now?


Sion smiles down at his phone. He enlisted Riku for help with the birthday decorations as he himself is helpless with all crafts, and Riku, a second-grade teacher, knows how to make magic with safety scissors. Sion types out his reply: You can come over now~


It’s only a second before he gets a response. Okay. Meet me out front so we can kiss, please. God, he’s so cute.


Sion just grins down at his phone. Sure thing.


Breakfast with just the four of them brings Sion back to weird childhood memories anyway, so he’s good with focusing on… other things. Megumi has become a pretty good buffer in their family over the years, but like this, now he and Siyeon are back to being the targets. “It’d be nice if you could have kids,” Sion’s mom says to Siyeon’s face. It’s completely out of pocket, too.


“I’m still young,” Siyeon says into her jjigae. Her lips are stained gochujang red and she pouts.


“I was married at your age,” their mom says. “I had Sion at your age.”


Sion’s eyes meet Siyeon’s across the table. The both of them are holding their tongues for the sake of harmony today, of all days, but normally they wouldn’t put up with this so easily. “Maybe if there were good men in Mokpo,” Siyeon mumbles.


Sion snorts. Their mom is affronted, though. “There’s plenty of good men! Like your father!”


“Keep me out of this,” their Appa says into his coffee. Though that’s typical for him.


Siyeon’s expression is dark. She’s got a lot more patience for their parents’ nonsense as she spends more time with them, and also she’s much better than Sion is at playing her role as a good, pietous daughter. “If you stop setting me up at church, maybe,” Siyeon says.


Sion can’t help but balk. “You still go to church?”


And, well, maybe he should’ve held his tongue about that too. The look Siyeon gives him could kill; their dad ignores all of this; Sion’s mom, however, is aghast. “Of course she does! And you should be, too! Megumi’s not being brought up in any faith, is she?”


Sion can only flounder for a long second because he walked into that one, he can admit that much. But then he says, his voice more sheepish: “There aren't any churches here, so...”


“There’s online service,” his Eomma insists anyway. “She should be baptized, at least.”


Sion doesn’t have the energy to argue right now. “Maybe…” He knows his parents basically see it as a cardinal sin that Megumi wasn’t brought up in the church but Tsuchiko, as every Japanese person is, was as undevout as it came. So in Seoul he didn’t give Christianity any second thought, really, not except for those times a Jehovah’s Witness would approach him on the subway and Sion would dodge away from the pamphlets in their hands. They went to mass in Mokpo but for Megumi it was confusing and for Sion it was triggering, so he got good at coming up with excuses not to go. 


And he’d never tell his parents outright that he’s basically an atheist at this point, god, no. But sometimes he’s tempted. Just to see what’d happen, you know?


“You- you should at least consider it.” Sion is surprised by how easily his mom is letting the issue go because normally she’s fucking insistent about this stuff and will go on and on and on about how any well-raised daughter needs to have her faith sorted out first and foremost. That’s kind of her prerogative, you know, insisting that Megumi’s biggest lack in life is the mother-thing but also the lack of church or a baptism or whatever the hell. His mom looks peeved, of course, but she avoids his eyes and concedes for maybe the first time ever: “It’s just nice for a child to have some faith. She should know what she came from.”


For a second Sion is confused because normally this turns into a whole Thing. But at the same time, his mom has respected Sion’s wishes not to make them say grace, nor has she tried to give Megumi a bible like she has in the past, and for the last few days she’s been quiet on the whole you-need-to-find-a-girlfriend-front. So Sion can’t complain, really. He’s almost touched if not also a little suspicious. Since when did his mom concede on anything?


It’s just a little… it’s out of character for her. So Sion pauses for another moment because he doesn’t know what to say, blinking down at his coffee. “...I’ll try looking into it.” Everyone at this table knows that he’s lying, but again, it’s about the principle of it all.


His mom reaches over to pat his hand. “Good.” And then she squeezes it and that’s kind of strange, too, but again she avoids his eyes.


So… so, okay. Whatever that means.


The overall topic of kids-marriage-church gets dropped and a few minutes later Sion’s phone buzzes again. He excuses himself and no one even pays him much mind as he slips out the front to find Riku on his doorstep.


Riku’s cheeks are pink from the cold. He smiles. “Hi.”


Sion’s oddly taken by the sight, for some reason, even though he’s probably seen Riku like this a hundred times by now. But he shuts the door behind him and steps down to cup Riku’s cheeks in both hands. “Hi. You’re so cute.”


Sion doesn’t necessarily mean to say that out loud, though it’s only because he sounds fucking whipped. But Riku’s flush from the cold turns into a blush and his eyes avert down to the ground. “And you’re also…” His fingers circle Sion’s wrist. “I missed you.” Then his face turns even redder.


It’s insane how he still gets shy even now. Sion leans down to kiss him with a smile. Then, only teasing a little: “If you missed me, why won’t you look at me?”


It’s not really a command because Sion just likes annoying him with this kind of thing and he always has, you know, given Riku’s general inability to make eye contact with him even half a year into dating. But Riku’s gaze darts up to meet his and he presses in closer, still cute and red and perfect. “I am.”


Sion smiles. “You are.” And then he kisses him. And then he kisses him again. And again and again and again…


“Mph. Your- your parents are gonna get sussed out,” Riku squirms when Sion peppers his face with kisses, smooching him everywhere he can reach. Then Riku laughs. “Sion, you’re so-”


“I’m not done yet,” Sion murmurs into his lips. He can’t stop smiling because Riku is so beautiful and he’s still taken by him, like, everyday. His hands guide Riku in closer by the jaw. “Just one more. Or two.”


“Three,” Riku breathes. “And no more.”


“Four,” Sion insists. He kisses him once. “Er, five.”


“You- seriously!” Riku’s bright red. He rocks up on his tip-toes to press one firm kiss to Sion’s lips and then he pulls away, far enough that he can’t be pulled back in. “You’re already acting obvious enough. This isn’t helping.”


Sion’s bottom lip juts out. He knows Riku is only being practical, but still. “But we’re gonna be busy all day.”


“They leave in a week,” Riku points out. “And then you can kiss me all you want.”


It’s true that he brings up a good point, because the fact that Sion quite honestly has the rest of his life to indulge in this is pretty fucking spectacular. He grins like an idiot. “I can, huh?”


Riku’s cheeks are red - though it’s hard to say if he’s more embarrassed or chilly - as he fixes his scarf. “You can kiss me as much as you want and you can do even more than that,” Riku says curtly. “I’m yours, so.”


And, well, it’s hard to deny an offer like that. “Then I’ll chill out,” Sion concedes with a grin before he opens his door and lets Riku lead them back inside. “And I’ll behave just for you, too.” 


Riku laughs. He pulls off his shoes in the genkan, balancing one hand against the wall. “Good Appa.”


God, Sion can’t even respond to that because his mind is full of nothing but teasing and several innuendos. But it doesn’t matter anyway; his mom is poking her head out of the dining room with a smile. “Is that Riku?”


“Hi, Halmeoni,” Riku switches into a polite guest faster than Sion can even blink. He’s already gotten the Halmeoni pass and everything, which is funny, because not even Yushi gets that. 


“Come in, come in. Sion left you in the cold, huh?” His Eomma presses the back of her hands to Riku’s cheeks. “Aigo, you’re icy.”


“Um. Yeah.” Riku doesn’t understand a word, glancing back at Sion, who waves him off. It doesn’t matter anyway, his boyfriend is already a crowd favorite. 


Riku is, of course, forced to eat while he’s here. The first day they met his parents were a little weary but now they dote on him incessantly. It’s not any different than how they doted on Sion’s friends back in middle school or anything but he’s still a little amused by all of this because of the language barrier and also because, like, they aren’t thirteen. Riku has his first sip of kimchi jjigae and his eyes go wide. “W-wow, that’s really spicy!”


Sion grins. He knows what Japanese people consider to be spicy and he’s not impressed. “Is it too much?”


“No, actually, it’s good,” Riku takes a spoonful of tofu and kimchi and then wipes his mouth. “You don’t really make much spicy food so I’m just a little surprised.”


“Megumi’s not that good with spice,” Sion sighs. It’s very unfortunate given her Korean heritage, though she admittedly makes exceptions for tteokbokki and kimchi and nothing besides that. “I kinda prefer having this kind of thing everyday but if she can’t eat it…”


Riku blinks. “But let’s still- let’s eat this more!”


He’s really so cute. Sion appreciates the enthusiasm and the five of them chat while time ticks on and on and on. It’s closer to nine when they start setting out the decorations that Riku brought over in his backpack. As expected of a school teacher, they’re well made. There’s a “Happy Birthday” garland written in the English alphabet as well as a bunch of balloons they have Siyeon blow up (and she complains about it, too, but she’ll be just fine); Riku even made a small Shin-chan standee for Megumi to take photos with. Sion is very impressed.


“You didn’t have to do all of this,” he smiles when Riku pulls a headband out of his bag with a little “Birthday Girl” plaque attached to it.


“But I did,” Riku insists. “It’s my baby’s birthday.” And, well, he’s got a point there.


“You’re right,” Sion grins. He can’t be too overt with his parents around but he leans into Riku’s side and squeezes at his waist just once. And then his voice lowers: “You’re really so good to her, baby. Thank you.”


Riku turns a little pink but he looks pleased by the praise, at least. “Well, I- I try to be.”


Everyone else sets up while Sion starts on breakfast. Pancakes are a given, of course, but today he dresses them up with whipped cream and strawberries and chocolate chips. Most kids would have sugar crashes with this kind of shit but Megumi’s sweet tooth is neverending like his, and also like him, she can never seem to get enough. For the sake of protein Sion grills a few sausages, too, but today he’ll let her indulge all she wants anyway. What Megumi wants, Megumi damn-well gets…


Sion piles everything onto a tray along with a glass of milk and nods at Riku. “Can you carry this for me? I wanna surprise her.”


“Breakfast in bed?” Riku’s eyes shine. “That’s so sweet, Sion!”


Sion swats at him. God, Riku and his obsession with cliches. “We do this every year. Just come with me.”


It’s actually kind of a sacrilegious routine for the two of them, to tell you the truth. Normally Sion spends every birthday breakfast alone with Megumi and talking and cuddling with her, but today he wants Riku to take part in their little tradition. And even if Riku doesn’t know the significance of that, really, Sion still feels like… it’d feel wrong if he weren’t there. It’s a weird thought but it’s true; whenever Riku’s not around things just feel a little emptier than usual. Isn’t it crazy how important he’s become to him and his kid?


But Riku only nods in reply, completely unaware of all of this. “Okay!” And really, Sion can tell him later. It’s just… for right now, at least, they need to celebrate their baby,


The two of them carefully make their way down the hallway - Riku is less clumsy than Sion is, carrying the tray without issue, so maybe him being here is for the better anyway. Sion knocks on the wooden frame of Megumi’s door before poking his head in. “Baby? Are you up?”


Megumi’s still conked out, of course; they’ve had a very exciting few days so she’s been even more tired than usual. But now that it’s getting late enough in the morning that she won’t be grumpy, Sion nods to Riku and they head in together. “Hopefully she likes the breakfast,” Riku murmurs. 


That just makes Sion smile. Riku cares for her so much, doesn’t he?


With careful movements, Sion kneels by her side at the futon and Riku stands by to keep the tray secure and level. “Gumi-chan,” Sion coos as he shakes his daughter awake. He smiles, brushing the hair out of her face when her eyes blink open. “Hi, baby. It’s time to wake up.”


Megumi is more bleary than usual. She stares up at Sion and reaches out for a hug, not a single thought behind her eyes. But then her eyes shift over to Riku and she blinks, hard, as she squeezes his neck. “Sensei’s here…? Is that food?”


“It’s your birthday, honey,” Riku reminds her. Then he grins when she gasps. 


“Wh- oh!” It’s funny how Megumi managed to forget. Sion only laughs when she crawls into his lap and squeezes in closer. She looks excited this time, still sleepy but very much hungry. “Appa, you made me pancakes?”


“I always make you pancakes,” Sion says a little wryly, though he helps Riku crouch down with the tray, steadying a hand on his back. “It’s your birthday, so you get to eat in bed. Look, there’s eight of them.”


Megumi’s eyes widen as she stares down the ginormous stack of pancakes in her hands. To be fair, though, they’re considerably smaller than they usually are and Sion doesn’t think she can get through all of them anyway. But even then you can tell just how happy she is about having this much food at her disposal, because Megumi beams. “All of them are for me?!”


“They are,” Sion kisses her cheek. “Come on, dig in.”


As expected, Megumi is thrilled - she gets fed immediately upon being awoken, she doesn’t have to change out of her PJs, Riku is here with them - and this is probably one of the happier birthdays she’s had already. “This is the best day ever,” Megumi tells them, syrup and butter and whipped cream all over her face. Riku brandishes a napkin from seemingly nowhere and wipes at her mouth for her.


“You only turn eight once,” he agrees. “Is it yummy?”


“Yes,” Megumi is as happy as a clam, which is a big step up from last year. That was their first time visiting Korea after moving to Japan and she had been a little traumatized from the move, sticking to Sion like a leech and getting flighty when their massive family all poured in to wish her happy birthday. Sion’s just glad the move itself ended up working out, really. He didn’t think he’d ever see her this grown up and happy in Japan but today she’s over the moon as she holds a bite up to Riku’s mouth. “Have some, Sensei.”


“Oh, sure…” Riku doesn’t like sweets nearly as much as the two of them do but he obliges anyway. But then, chewing a little, he hums. “Actually, that’s not too bad.”


Sion smiles. He leans in to wipe a crumb from the corner of Riku’s mouth. “Did I do well, Sensei?”


Riku’s fingers curl around his wrist and squeeze once. “You did.” Maybe it doesn’t bode well that Megumi doesn’t give the movement a second glance, or maybe that speaks more to the fact that she doesn’t scrutinize them much in general. Or at least not while she’s busy eating, huh. Sion grins as Riku rubs his cheek to his palm.


Cute, he mouths.


Riku’s ears are pink. You, too.


As he expected, Megumi only gets halfway through the stack of pancakes before tapping out since her stomach isn’t nearly as big as her eyes are. But Sion just wipes off her face and her fingers and sets the tray aside. “You liked it, huh?”


“Yeah.” Megumi smiles and comes in for a hug, her arms wrapping around Sion’s shoulders. “Thank you, Appa.” Then she reaches out for Riku, too. “And you too, Sensei.”


“I didn’t do anything,” Riku chuckles. But even so he lets Megumi pull him into their group cuddle, a mess of limbs in the futon. Sion wraps an arm across Riku’s shoulders and uses the other to bring Megumi into a tight, tight hug.


“Ah, you’ve grown up so well,” Sion sighs. He can’t even put how proud he is of her into words because it’s just- it’s just crazy. Megumi has really, really, really exceeded all of his expectations. Not even Sion would think that a term like “resilient” describes his kid, because if anything, she’s resistant to change and tends to get freaked out by big surprises and is all-around kind of fussy. But sometimes he also forgets just how much she’s already been through at her age. Really, Megumi has to be the most resilient kid in the world. 


The comparison to how she used it be is just startling. Megumi used to spend her birthdays very quiet, very contemplative, accepting of the gifts she got and the praise she received. The last time Sion let anyone else in on this routine of theirs was five years ago. That was the last time he and Tsuchiko were together for one of Megumi’s birthdays - she was so much smaller, she was quieter and meeker and weary of the phone camera stuck in her face. Tsuchiko had insisted on getting a fancy crepe from a cafe and a candle and everything. But Megumi had only picked at it, her voice hesitant: “Thank you, Mama.” Then she crawled into Sion’s lap and stayed there for the rest of the day as a whole carousel of family came to celebrate her. That was the last time Sion let any of that happen and Megumi’s only gotten brighter in the time since. 


His baby tilts her head up so her eyes meet Sion’s. “I’m not even that big yet, Appa. I’m still not as tall as you.” Megumi says it like it’s a given, like one day she’s also going to hover around six feet like her dad and aunt do.


Sion just smiles. He smooths a hand over her hair. “Not yet. But one day, maybe.”


The encouragement brings a smug look to Megumi’s face, though her mom was five foot two on a good day so she’s got a bit of a hurdle to jump in the height department. But sure, it’s technically not impossible even though the idea of Megumi being anywhere close to his height is honestly very frightening. But Sion also knows that she very-badly wants to be a giant like her Appa and he sure as hell isn’t gonna be the one to squash that dream, so…


Riku leans in to pinch her cheek. “You’re only gonna get taller, hm? But if you’re as big as your Appa, we can’t carry you anymore.”


The stuff they’re discussing isn’t anything unusual but it’s still funny when Riku’s comment makes Megumi’s face immediately go horrified like she had never even considered the thought before. She’s always been a practical kid - and self aware and logical and honest to a fault - but apparently this comes as a shock. “I- You won’t be able to carry me?”


Sion’s a little surprised by how quickly tears pool in Megumi’s eyes because in a lot of ways she prefers acting like a grown up. But maybe eight years-old isn’t as mature as he thought it’d make her, huh. “Aigo, you’re already getting too big now.” Sion boops her on the nose and pecks her cheek, wiping away the two tears that trail down her face. “My little crybaby, you’ll be just fine. You’re not gonna want Appa to carry you by next year.”


But Megumi’s mouth frowns, like, severely. She sniffles. “But- but why not?”


“You’ll be a big girl. And your Appa’s back needs a break,” Riku soothes. Though he looks a little exasperated and Sion’s half-tempted to chide him for making Megumi aware of her own growing age. 


But Megumi, as always, isn’t so easily pleased by that. “But… but what if my feet hurt?”


Sion has to hold in a laugh. “Well, when my feet hurt no one carries me.”


But that only makes Megumi even more indignant. “Then- then that’s not fair! I wanna be small forever!”


At least she doesn’t seem overwhelmingly perturbed by the revelation, though that’s probably because Sion and Riku suffocate her with cuddles and kisses and she forgets about it entirely. The only thing Megumi gets annoyed by is eventually having to change out of her PJs, but Sion tells her she can wear whatever she wants. And, well, she usually does. But it’s still an incentive because when Megumi was younger her mom used to insist she had to wear a fancy, frilly dress on her big day, but no one attempts that shit anymore unless they want a full-on tantrum on their hands.


“Then I’ll get changed!” Megumi kicks them out of her room with a grin. “Just wait for me!”


The door slides shut with a slam. Sion reigns in the urge to scold, only sighing. “She’s gonna put on something atrocious.” Last year she insisted on sweatpants under a dress. So, you know, Megumi just maybe doesn’t have the greatest fashion sense in the world.


“She’ll be cute either way,” Riku hums. He floats off to the kitchen with the tray and Sion follows. That’s true, he supposes, but still…


Everyone else is back in the living room. “She barely ate any of it,” is all Siyeon comments when she sees the pancake remnants. “When we were eight, we were like vacuums.”


Unfortunately she’s right, but Sion and Siyeon both spent their entire childhoods in perpetual growth spurts that didn’t end until they were done with high school. “I think it’s better this way,” Sion tells her, “because she already eats me out of heart and home.” Though it’s a shame that pancakes don’t keep in the fridge very well. Looks like he’s gonna have to eat the leftovers, huh?


So Sion swiftly gets to work once he’s back in the kitchen, you know, for the sake of not wasting any food. Riku just leans against the counter and smiles as he digs into the pancake stack. “You know,” he whispers. “You’re sexy when you eat well.”


Sion rolls his eyes, though he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t flattered even from something inane as this. “You’re so ridiculous.” But since they’re alone in the kitchen, Riku just slides in even closer. His fingers circle Sion’s wrist.


“I’m not. You’re just, like…” Riku trails off when they make eye contact. “Actually, never mind.”


Sion chews on his pancake and squints at him. “What does that mean?” Riku’s ears are red which usually means he’s thinking something insanely dirty, and Sion’s honestly not sure if he has the energy to figure him out right now.


“It’s nothing,” Riku squeezes his wrist. “You’re just really hot. And I wanna do bad things to you.”


And, well, that much was obvious. Sion huffs out a laugh and wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. “Riku,” he says. “On Megumi’s birthday?”


Riku’s cheeks go a little pink but he looks away. “It’s not my fault her Appa is so attractive.” He says it like Sion is not, in fact, hunched over his kitchen counter and eating pancakes like some sort of leftover-seeking creature. It would be insane coming from anyone else, but alas, Sion is all too used to this. 


He smiles. And then he properly wipes his face with a paper towel, making sure he’s at least presentable. “Come here,” Sion pulls him in. “You’re being cute. You think this is attractive?”


It’s a little funny how easily Riku obeys him. “I do.” Then he smiles when Sion backs him up against the counter ledge, cupping his face. “I’m really…” He turns his head just enough to kiss Sion’s thumb.


Sion can feel a flash of something rise within him. It’s want, of some kind, a want they couldn’t possibly indulge in no3. But even so, he dips down to give his boyfriend a kiss. “The second they go back to Korea,” he promises, “I’m gonna take really good care of you, baby. Okay?”


Riku lets himself be kissed, a tiny sound coming from his throat. “Really? I-” His eyes look dazed just from that, too. “You taste good.”


God, this man is going to kill him. Sion smiles and drags him back in. “Well, you taste even better.”


For obvious reasons they can’t indulge for long - there’s a birthday to celebrate and also Sion knows better than anyone how easily Riku can be riled up, which certainly doesn’t help either of them on the temptation-front. They separate when they hear Megumi march into the living room. There’s a few reactions from the family after she announces: “Good morning!”


Siyeon laughs. “Wow, you look great!”


Sion’s mom sighs. “Oh, Megumi…”


His dad laughs, too. “What an outfit!”


Sion sighs. Riku giggles into his cheek. “This is going to be terrible, isn’t it.” The question is a hypothetical - he already knows it will be.


“No, let’s go support her,” Riku pulls him by the wrist. “Come on, Appa.”


Megumi actually finds them first, having immediately gone on the chase for her Appa and her Sensei. She finds them in the dining room and shows off her outfit. “How do I look!” She’s wearing a loose tank over a button up shirt over a long skirt over jeans over fuzzy socks. 


“Honey, you look great,” Riku claps. Thank god for him.


“Very cute,” Sion agrees. “Can Appa take a photo, please?”


And really, Megumi is so spurred-on by praise. She nods a shy little thing, smoothing her hands down her skirt like she’s proud of herself for the outfit. “Just one, Appa…”


Sion grins. “Of course. It’s only because you look so pretty, Gumi, you did a good job.” That just makes her smile. Thank god for that. 


After they take one single photo - Sion listens to his kid because there’s a high chance she’ll demand proof that he didn’t sneak in more - they head back into the living room. “Do you wanna open your presents?” Sion asks. They don’t usually start the day with that but the others aren’t coming over until much later, so they may as well use the time wisely.


Megumi leans into Sion’s side, squeezing his waist as she always does. She eyes down the frankly ridiculous pile of gifts on the kotatsu. “Those are all for me?”


Sion flicks the hair out her eyes. “Of course. You wanna see what you got?”


They all try to act nonchalant and not extremely excited as they crowd around the kotatsu, but that’s because all five of them are aware of how meek Megumi is once attention is turned on her. Though she seems to care less about being watched this year, digging into the pile at Sion’s insistence. Megumi opens the gifts from her grandparents first and receives a Shin-chan boxset and a few new clothes and a bunch of oil paints. “Oh, wow!” She’s the most interested in the paint, of course. It looks expensive, too, which is really nice of them.


But then Riku leans very subtly into Sion’s side and whispers in Japanese: “She’s too young for oil paint. They require chemicals to use, you know...”


And, well, he didn’t know that all. Sion isn’t well-versed enough in the art world to know much of anything, actually, so he sends Riku a mildly incredulous look. “Chemicals? What’s normal paint, then?”


Riku smiles. “That’s acrylic.”


For a second Sion has to think over what the hell it is that she already has - has he been giving her the wrong kind? - but he’s pretty sure it’s acrylic. Because, well, there’s never been any chemical incidents with them. Wow. Sion had no idea painting could be so dangerous. “Oh, okay. I see…”


“Those were the most expensive ones at the store,” Sion’s mom is none the wiser, “so they must be good!”



“Thank you!” Megumi gives a hug to both of her grandparents anyway. Dangerous paint aside, Sion’s just glad that they got over the phase of buying her things that they see advertised for little girls - Sion’s mom would always act so devastated about Megumi not paying any mind to the girly toys, only for Sion to constantly remind her that Megumi doesn’t play with toys period. So in a roundabout way this is an improvement…


“We hope you use them well,” Sion’s dad pinches her cheek. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, huh?


Next comes Siyeon’s gift, which naturally makes Megumi go gobsmacked at the iPad in her hands. It’s one of the more expensive ones, Sion notes, which Siyeon promised she wouldn’t splurge on. But it’s fine because he should’ve seen this coming. “Is this really for me?” Megumi gasps at her aunt.


“Yup,” Siyeon grins. Then she laughs when Megumi launches at her for a hug. “Wow, I’m glad you’re so excited.”


“I can draw on it!” Megumi’s most overjoyed by that aspect, which is better than her being one of those short form video-addicted children. “And I can play Minecraft!”


“In moderation, though,” Sion reminds her. “You already have a Switch.”


Megumi sends him a look. “I do everything in moderation, Appa.”


Goodness. She’s just like him and Sion only squeezes her nape when she grins over at him, satisfied by her own teasing. “I’m gonna monitor your Youtube usage," he warns her. “Because you watch too many dark things.”


“Fine,” Megumi agrees easily, though as usual Sion can’t tell if that’s because she’s accepting or because she’s already planning to scheme behind his back. Either way, he has his work cut out for him.


Feeling a little nervous after so many excited reactions, Sion goes next. His big gift has yet to arrive, a height adjustable easel, but what he has for her now is fine. There’s a soccer ball - because he’s not giving up on her sports career, not yet - and a set of notebooks. She’s started to take an interest in writing and learning English so he figures they’ll be useful. He also gifted her a pack of art pens, new shoes, and a KIA Tigers shirt… 


“Sorry I couldn’t get more,” Sion tells her. Universal kind of put a dent in his pocket but normally he gets her even more than this; and sure, many would argue this is already a lot, Sion would argue nothing is enough for his daughter. So.


“No, I love it!” Megumi grins down at the t-shirt in particular. It’s the same one Sion has, just way tinier. “Now we can match!”


“Yeah,” Sion sighs in relief. He knows Megumi better than anyone in this world and yet he always second guesses the stuff he gets for her birthday because he’s not great at gift-giving in general. It certainly doesn’t help that Megumi is so disinterested in toys. She’s expressed an interest in LEGO, but Sion is… he doesn’t have the capacity for the mess. And also, for a bunch of plastic, that shit is pricey.


“Thank you,” Megumi reaches over for a hug, and she surprises him by pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You’re the best, Appa.”


Everyone else coos over them. Sion’s ears go red. “Don’t forget about your card, too…”


Megumi rips into the envelope and reads it. Sion put some meager pocket money in there - 4000 yen for the potential of more allowance down the road - but he’s surprised that Megumi seems to be more interested in the card. She scans the message. Then she grins. “I love it.”


Sion feels oddly embarrassed even though he really shouldn’t be. “Well, I’m glad.”


It’s his fault for being so damn shy about it, though, because Megumi’s always been appreciative even of the little things. She grins into his shoulder and wraps both arms around his bicep. “My Appa’s the best.”


That only makes everyone coo again, this time much more pointedly teasing. Sion swats Siyeon’s fingers away from pinching his cheek. “You deserve the best, baby.”


There’s not much left after that; Megumi unwraps a Switch game from Sakuya and Ryo; Riku seems to be more nervous than usual when his gift is the last in the pile. “Just so you know, baby, I tried my best.” That’s how he prefaces things - Sion’s not sure what he means by that and neither does Megumi, it seems. She opens the gift bag, peeks in, and then gasps.


“Did you make these?” She stares up at Riku.


Riku goes red and scratches at his neck. “Yeah…”


Megumi pulls out of the bag what seems to be three crocheted stuffed monkeys. One is little and holding what looks like a paintbrush in its hand. The other two are big, the bigger of the two wearing a doll-sized KIA Tigers shirt; the other has an ear cuff. Sion can’t help but stare. “Riku, these are- they’re well-made.”


But somehow he doesn’t even realize the significance until Riku laughs a little and says, still embarrassed: “Yeah, I tried to model them after us…”


Oh, wow. Sion can see that now. And god, that’s- that’s so sweet of him. It makes the miniscule size difference between the two bigger monkeys make more sense. But all-in-all Sion’s mostly surprised by the craftsmanship and he, too, goes a little pink from how touching all of this is. “How long did it take you to make these?”


Riku’s eyes avoid his. “Um. Just a few months…”


In front of his parents Sion couldn’t possibly do what he wants to do, which is kiss his boyfriend stupid. Nor can he say what he wants to say, which is I can’t believe how well you treat my kid and months ago you were already thinking about now? You already wanted to be there for Megumi’s birthday? But Sion’s voice catches in his throat and he has to look away, too.


“I love them so much," Megumi squeezes them to her chest and trips over Sion’s legs to give Riku a hug. “Sensei, this is the best gift ever!”


Sion’s glad neither his sister nor his parents are well-versed in Japanese enough to know what she just said. But he still melts a little as Riku takes Megumi into his arms and squeezes her right back. “I’m so glad. Happy birthday, Gumi.”


And, well, that’s a pretty great start to what Sion hopes is a great birthday. It’s already nearing noon and Yushi and Daeyoung will be coming over for dinner, so he urges everyone to relax. Megumi won’t put down the monkey stuffed animals and she’s absolutely glued to Riku’s side, chattering away as they watch whatever’s playing on the TV. It’s clear that Riku’s her favorite and Sion can’t even fault her for that. Like father, like daughter, right?


He busies himself with setting up her iPad, which is easier to accomplish while Megumi’s distracted. Admittedly Sion hasn’t really been that stringent with tech other than her having no access to social media, so some of the parental controls seem a little ridiculous to him. But it’s mostly fine as long as she needs permission to download apps, he thinks, though he doesn’t know what websites to limit. Megumi is the kind of kid who scrolls the news and Wikipedia for fun, so…


God, she’s- that’s probably not typical, huh? Sion blinks up at nothing. Maybe he’s been too lenient with her. Megumi’s not sensitive to dark things and Sion can’t be sure if that’s his doing or if that's part of her… her autism, maybe. Damn, it probably is.


For a second he sits there and considers, like, how in the world he’s supposed to address something like that. What, is that fixed with therapy? Or- or talking to people? He has no idea. For a long while Sion never thought to worry over these things because he wasn’t a sensitive kid either, but now he’s realizing that he was a little apathetic in a completely different way. But regardless this just kind of slipped through the cracks and now they’re here, eight years later, and Megumi is obsessed with learning about serial killers and Sion knows that can’t be good. 


But again, that’s probably more a problem for a professional to sort out for them. Sion scratches at his neck and sighs. He’ll- he’s gonna figure that whole thing out later, probably…  


There’s not much to sort out after that. Sion isn’t exactly sure which video games, exactly, that Megumi plays the most, but he downloads titles he recognizes along with some art apps that get suggested to him on the app store. They all cost money but that’s fine. Then he downloads a few streaming services so she can watch her shows, making a Youtube account with some restrictions on it. And then, after a little thinking, he makes her a Pinterest account too. Sion knows she likes using his computer for art references, right?


“I don’t envy you,” Siyeon is on her second coffee as she peers over his shoulder. “If I had a kid, I know I’d fuck them up.”


That doesn’t come as a surprise; Sion sends her a wry smile. “Yeah, that’s the hardest part. And Megumi’s too smart for me to keep up with anyway." But he still tries his best and things work out most of the time - his kid doesn’t seem to have any overwhelming traumas, so surely he can’t be doing too bad.


“I don’t understand how you do it,” Siyeon leans into his side. “You used to be her age. And now she’s the age you used to be.” And none of that makes any fucking sense, does it, but she says it like it’s a poignant thought.


Sion snorts. “What are you saying?”


Siyeon just huffs a little. “I don’t know. It’s weird, you know, that you have a kid and you’re raising her so well…” She takes a sip of coffee and lowers her voice. “No offense, Oppa, but we grew up fucked-up so I’m a little surprised.”


She’s got a point there. Sion smiles. “Well, neither of us turned out all that bad.” And sure, that’s debatable, but he means it.


Siyeon rests her head on his shoulder. “I mean, if you say so…” 


Sion quickly finishes setting up Megumi’s iPad before passing it over to her. He wants to leave the aesthetics and whatnot up to his kid, who’s got an eye for those kinds of things. “Remember, no social media. And if you want to download apps, you need my permission.” Sion says it sternly but he’s not really worried at all. 


“Okay,” Megumi grins, easily accepting his terms. She holds the iPad in both of her hands and smiles over at Riku. “Sensei, can you help me find a wallpaper?”


Sion and Siyeon both send each other a Look. Really, it’s ridiculous how they’ve become second-class citizens behind Riku. Sion knew during the school year that Megumi was more well-behaved at school, but now that he’s seeing her goody-two-shoes side in action, he can’t help but feel a little offended. Since when was his kid so cutesy and polite? She’s not like that to him, is she?


“Sure thing,” Riku says easily. “Should we look at Pinterest first? Look, your Appa made an account…”


And, well, maybe Riku just has that kind of energy; Megumi snuggles deeper into his side and they dive into the iPad together. At least he loves her right back, huh. 


With Riku keeping Megumi distracted, Sion has free reign to chill the fuck out for once. For a few years they’d go out on her birthday, but just like he is, Megumi is a homebody more than anything. That makes it both convenient and inconvenient that she was born on New Year’s Eve, really, because the crowds get insane. But today they just get to laze around and for a late, small lunch, Sion makes kimbap with his mom. For dinner they’re grilling meat again. It’s not long until the sun sets, and so Sion tries prepping a bit…


It’s not hard to get distracted, though, especially when his babies are being so cute. Riku and Megumi are strewn across the floor and experimenting with brushes in Procreate. “This one’s kinda cool,” Riku points out every now and again. “It looks like paint, doesn’t it?”


It’s so interesting to Sion how Riku’s able to engage with her for hours like this, since even he gets a little worn out with the constant one-on-one attention. But Riku doesn’t seem bothered in the least that Megumi still chatters away at him, nor does he seem to be in Teacher Mode either. Maybe it’s not that crazy that his boyfriend genuinely likes hanging out with his kid, but given that for the first few years of her life Megumi was at constant odds with her own mother, Sion can’t help the skepticism he defaults to.


But Riku is good, is the thing. He’s good in general and he’s good with her. And Sion is so grateful for that that he can’t even put it into words, his mind flitting back to a potential gift he definitely has the money for. Riku looks good in silver… and he doesn’t wear a necklace, either, just earrings… so then he should just get a necklace, right…


Sion stares. How much can he get away with? Is it too forward to get Riku something expensive? He’s certainly not rich but he has enough money set aside to get something, and it’s just- he doesn’t know what would be overkill with the short time they’ve been dating. It definitely wouldn’t be anything ridiculous but the idea of something to mark him as Sion’s is just way too fucking tempting.


And, well, now that the idea’s in his head he’s kind of obsessed with it - one way or another, Sion is putting something around that damn neck.


When afternoon turns to evening, Yushi and Daeyoung turn up at the door like the two gay uncles they genuinely are. Daeyoung’s wrapped up in a scarf and Yushi, again, is in his huge puffer jacket and is lugging along gigantic box. “I come bearing gifts,” he says upon his arrival. Yushi toes off his shoes and ruffles Megumi’s hair. “Happy birthday, little one.”


“What’d Yushi-nii get me?” Megumi teases just as easily, because Yushi is really the one adult she’s so unserious around. Then she tears the gift paper off of a huge box and beams. “Woah, is this LEGO?”


Sion, who is in the dining room and cleaning up, hears the word “LEGO” and immediately goes to inspect what’s going on. “Yushi,” he groans. It’s half because he told that motherfucker Megumi wasn’t allowed to get obsessed with LEGO and half because it’s a huge set that Sion knows was a ridiculous amount of money. Like, more money than Sion wants Yushi spending on his kid.


“What? She loves it.” Yushi is smug all things considered, even as Megumi sits there on her knees and marvels at the Minecraft mineshaft themed set she just got. Which is, of course, not helped by Daeyoung’s similarly huge box of a gift.


“It wasn’t that much,” he assures Sion. And when Megumi unwraps her gift, it’s a set of manhwa she’s been wanting for a while. Sion sends him an admonished look, too.


“You two, seriously…” He runs his hand down his face. He knows those couldn’t have been cheap to get in Japan, for god’s sake.


“No, I know a guy,” Daeyoung rambles. “I went back to Korea last month, you know, and I remembered that Megumi kept talking about this one thing. And it fit into my suitcase! So I just-”


“I have to spoil my niece,” Yushi pays Sion’s indignation no mind, because of course he doesn’t. “You can build the set together. It’ll be fun.”


Sion’s still a little aghast by the amount of gifts his kid got today, though he’d be remiss to say she doesn’t deserve it. He tucks the oil paints somewhere she can’t reach in the spare bedroom and confiscates the LEGO set for now, but that’s because he can’t take the mess at this very second. “Next weekend,” Sion promises. “We can build it together, okay?”


“Fine,” Megumi lets him win this one. Though she’s still very taken by the iPad, and also now she’s flipping through her magical girl manhwa and showing Riku her favorite scenes. At least there’s that.


With everyone all distracted, Sion takes it upon himself to start on dinner. He waves off Yushi’s help - the kid has been dealing with drama and waves of tourists alike at the ryokan, bless his heart, he deserves a break - and ends up on the back deck with the shichirin by himself. The cold’s not that bad yet, at least, and Sion doesn’t mind working by alone anyway. It’s all methodical work, keeping the grill going and letting cut after cut cook; Sion gets into a flow state with the meat, only snapping his head up when the porch door slides open.


“It’s just me,” Riku says. He’s wearing Sion’s jacket. “I wanna help out...”


God, he’s so cute that it makes Sion smile. “Don’t worry, I’m good on my own.” He denies the help on principle but he’d never turn down the company, would he? Riku comes over to his side and squats down, leaning into Sion’s waist. Sion softens as his boyfriend smiles up at him. “Hi. You doing okay?”


“Yeah,” Riku nuzzles into him. “I’m here ‘cause I missed you.”


Sion grins. He knows that he personally has the tendency to be very affectionate in relationships, so he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t fucking overjoyed by how clingy Riku is being today - it makes him feel crazy, actually, because he just wants to pull him in close and smother him with love. From this angle no one can see them from inside the house, either. Sion shakes off his glove to cup Riku’s cheek; he leans down to kiss him.


“I missed you too,” Sion says. “Thanks for keeping Gumi company all day.”


Riku’s nose is pink from the cold. He doesn’t seem bothered, though, only stretching his neck up to get another kiss. “Don’t thank me. I had fun.”


It’s harder for Sion to focus on the food with Riku here, though that’s not really anything new. He keeps his left hand on Riku’s head while he flips the meat with his other. Sion is just so- he’s obsessed with him, that’s what it is. From this angle Riku’s eyes are so big and his face is so sweet and he’s just so perfect in general. Fuck. 


“You’re distracting me,” Sion sighs with a small smile. His thumb plucks at the silver cuff on Riku’s ears. “And you’re so pretty, you know. It’s a fire hazard.”


“You’re pretty, too,” Riku nuzzles into his hand. His cold fingers squeeze Sion’s, tight enough to make a point. “I had to come out here to look at you ‘cause I like your face so much.”


That makes Sion laugh even as his ears burn red. It’s just that Riku’s so sincere, is the thing, plus he’s so fucking shameless. He has no issue spouting out a nonstop stream of praise at Sion’s prodding, and while Sion may not have the best self-image, it’s hard not to feel a little smug that he’s the only one Riku is ever complimenting. Sion looks down at his boyfriend again and pokes at his nose.


“You’re gonna freeze,” Sion says. “Come here. The fire will warm you up.”


He’s careful to make sure they’re still out of eyeline from the porch doors but they should be fine. Riku just buries into his side, snug under Sion’s arm, leaning his head on his shoulder. “It is warmer like this,” he mumbles. “‘Cause my husband’s like a furnace.”


Sion grins. He presses a kiss to his head. “And my wife is sexy burning hot. Like the fire.”


He knows he’s being an asshole but it’s worth it to see Riku’s ears turn even redder. “I told you not to call me that,” he murmurs, though he then presses in even closer. Riku tilts his head up and leans into Sion’s jaw. “It’s not fair. You’re so mean.”


“You keep calling me hyung,” Sion points out, though he still leans down to give Riku a kiss on the mouth. “Hm? It’s only fair.” He squeezes Riku in closer, closer. “You have to take as good as you give, baby.”


Riku leans up for another kiss. “That’s not how the saying goes…” But it doesn’t matter. He tastes like the gochu tea his mom’s been making all day. Sion kisses him a little more firmly. It tastes better on Riku’s tongue, doesn’t it?


“God.” Sion is maybe a little too indulgent but it’s addicting to have him like this. He drops the tong carefully on a nearby plate and takes Riku in both hands. “God, you’re so-”


Riku makes the tiniest keening sound in the world when they kiss again, again, again. Sion’s stomach clenches. It’s not like he’s riled-up or anything but he’d be lying if he said ever since that time they messed around he hasn’t been cautiously curious to see more, to hear more. He pulls Riku in closer, a hand twisted in his jacket at the small of his back. He’s sweet and he sounds sweet and he tastes sweet, too.


It’s hard not to want to inhale him. Riku’s beautiful and that’s kind of the thing that drives Sion the most insane, because his boyfriend’s so fucking beautiful that it should be some sort of felony to do anything bad to him. Sion’s been thinking about that recently, all the bad things people have done to his Riku. It makes him kiss him harder because he’s his, now, isn’t he. And Sion’s gonna make sure it stays that way forever. He wants to be the only one who gets this because he’s going to treat Riku better than anyone else ever, ever, ever could.


This mouth, Sion thinks, is mine. And this cute face. And those sounds, too, they’re because of me, and they belong to me, and he’s all-


Maybe he’s being a little too overeager. Riku makes another tiny sound, this time closer to a moan, but then he pulls away with a heavy breath and a very obvious string of saliva connecting their lips. “The meat’s g-gonna burn,” he says. But then Riku whines when Sion kisses him again, just once more, still just as fierce.


“It’s not my fault,” Sion’s voice is low when they separate. His hand slides down Riku’s back, down to his ass, just getting one firm handful. “You’re- you’re so cute. It makes me feel insane.”


Sion’s a little surprised that Riku lets him grope him. But he presses his face back into Sion’s neck before squirming. “If you do that, I’m gonna-” His hand twists into Sion’s hoodie. “Not on Gumi’s birthday…”


God. It’s not like Riku is usually the voice of reason between them - no, they’re equally bad in that regard - but he has a point. Sion lets go of his ass but only barely; his palm settles back over Riku’s waist and Sion squeezes again, huffing a little. “You’re bad for my health.”


Sion turns back to the grill. Admittedly the beef is a little charred at the edges, so with burning ears he picks the tongs back up and flips the skirt steak over. He’s not- he’s not horny. It’s not that. But he’s eager in a way he hasn’t been in years and years, feeling distantly annoyed that his family’s around so he can’t even listen to Riku mewl at him. It’s just that Sion’s mildly obsessed with the reactions he gets from this gorgeous man, you know, he wants to see more and he wants to be the only one who’s privy to what Riku looks like when he’s doted on and desperate. Sion doesn’t want to be touched but he kind of wants to, like, give him a handjob and just listen to him whine…


But that is- it’s deranged. And obviously Sion’s not gonna do that right now. But a part of him still really wants to press Riku up against the back wall of his house and make him cry, so alas. 


“M-maybe when your family leaves,” Riku mumbles into his shoulder. “You could come over to my place. And we can kiss a lot while Gumi isn’t around…” The idea’s tempting, really, because it’s not often that they get time away from the kid these days.


Sion looks down at him, his smile tiny but fond. “You wanna kiss a lot?” He squeezes Riku’s waist again.


Riku’s still avoiding eye contact, still. “Or maybe a little more than that. You know, if you want to…”


Sion makes sure the skirt steak is done before plopping it onto a plate. It’s something to contemplate over, he knows, his relationship with sex right now; Sion doesn’t want to actually have sex, or at least not just yet. But he didn’t mind Riku riding his thigh at all. And Sion wouldn’t mind touching him for real, he thinks. The idea is very daunting, but then again, whenever Riku’s whining into his mouth and rubbing up on him Sion just kind of wants to make him whine even louder. Especially after they were in the kitchen this morning, too - Sion meant it when he said he was gonna take care of him again. 


God. Sion’s ears burn. “We’ll see what happens. I’ll make time for us so Megumi can’t interrupt anything. Okay?” Sion squeezes him again and tries not to be too firm though it’s hard not to be firm with Riku, is the thing, because he likes it the most when Sion’s firm with him. “Just not, like, real sex. But I can definitely help you out….”


Sion’s voice comes out a little more commanding than he means it to; Riku presses into him even more and nods. “Okay.”


From there on the mood is much more subdued, so Sion tries not to get too distracted by kissing his boyfriend since his house is full of hungry people. But as usual Riku seems content just nuzzling into him, telling Sion a little about Megumi’s first experiences with an iPad. She got a little frustrated with the controls of Procreate but Riku took some photos of the doodles she drew, and so Sion grins down at them. “Wow, she’s getting better.”


“She’s like a prodigy,” Riku nods into his shoulder. “I know it’d be expensive, but if you put her in art classes at one point...”


Sion nods. He’s been mulling over it for a few years and now he actually has the money to spare, plus it’s obvious that art is something Megumi is actually going to stick with. “I was thinking about enrolling her when she’s a bit older. Like middle school. Sometimes they have classes at the community center but I was looking at some stuff in Kyoto, so if we ever have time to commute up there…”


Sion trails off. It’s a little embarrassing, for some reason, to say all of this. But that’s just because he sounds so hopeful that things will stay consistent for them when things have never been consistent until now. But Riku only grins up at him.


“So you really wanna stay in Japan,” he says. “Early in the school year you always made it sound like you weren’t sure.”


He’s got a point there; Sion’s cheeks redden a little. “I know. But you know, we had that talk and she loves it here. Before then I wasn’t sure if she missed Korea too much…” He flips over some intestine on the grill. “But things are good. And you’re here.” Sion squeezes Riku in by the waist.


Riku only keeps smiling. “Sion, I could be anywhere you want me to be.”


Wow. That’s kind of embarrassing too. A few months ago Sion would’ve been intimidated by the idea of his boyfriend wanting to change anything about his life for their sake, especially when he and Megumi are so used to moving around and having nothing besides each other. But it just makes Sion feel happy now, you know? Riku, too, wants them to stay together no matter what. And it’s too soon for them to feel that way, probably, but Sion isn’t twenty-four anymore. He’s not stupid or naive or disillusioned right now.


Sion knows what he wants. He wants this, them together, preferably forever. And he’s gonna make sure of things stay that way now that he’s certain; he’s not running anymore, he’s never letting Riku go, he’s staying here and he’s keeping them together and he’s gonna be happy.


“We’re not going back to Mokpo,” Sion says decisively. “Not unless we have to. And Seoul is…” He trails off. “Gumi really isn’t meant for the city.”


“Yeah, probably not,” Riku agrees.


“So I guess I have no choice but to stay here with you,” Sion ducks down to kiss him just once. “Unless you’re itching to move somewhere cooler.”


And god, Riku is just so cute. His arm loops around Sion’s neck and he leans up to shake his head. “No. Let’s stay here together.” He sounds certain too, is the thing, like he wants the same exact thing.


That’s not a bad plan at all, is it? At least they’re in agreement. Sion offers his hand to Riku and smiles. “Sounds good to me. Let’s shake on it.”


Riku obliges, smiling his own very pleased smile. “Now you can never get away.” Though Sion’s not complaining about that, either. 


The meat and vegetables are quickly finished and Riku helps Sion carry all of the food back inside before they extinguish the grill together. His mom sets out Megumi’s favorite collection of banchan and some japchae and one bowl of seaweed soup. Megumi sits at the head of the table and takes the bowl from her Halmeoni’s hands. “Thank you,” she bows her head and takes a sip. It’s not her favorite but even Megumi can make exceptions, like the fact that her grandma is always insistent on this tradition no matter where they are.


“Alright, let’s all dig in,” Sion says to the others once she’s had her moment. “We have a lot of food, so eat!”


He fills up Megumi’s plate for her, mostly meat and rice and some japchae. Siyeon takes out the gyojasang for them, as the dining table is full and there’s too many of them to crowd around the kotatsu. It was his grandparents’; Sion, against his better judgement, brought the damn table with him when they moved here. But it’s worth it now. His parents are busy fussing over Megumi on one side of the table - she elected to sit with them at their Halmeoni’s request, god bless her heart - and the rest of them are drinking beer and sake. 


“Riku’s tolerance is low,” Daeyoung prefaces. “So watch out for him.”


Sion grins. “Really? I haven’t seen you drink much.” But Riku only makes a face in reply, so he really must struggle, huh. 


“It’s not low, you’re just crazy.” Riku gives a weary look to the rest of them speeding through their first shot and onto a second. “Er, really, all of you are crazy.”


“It’s ‘cause we grew up in Korea,” Yushi tells him in Japanese. “Kuu-chan, in college we’d have to drink at functions ‘til we passed out.”


Riku looks horrified. “You did?”


“Eh, not until we passed out,” Sion says, though he downs another shot. “Or, well, maybe if you had low tolerance.” He sends Riku a smile. “But we went easy on international students, don’t worry.”


Riku doesn’t look so convinced. He takes a sip of his beer and sends all of them a skeptical look. “That doesn’t seem healthy.”


It doesn’t matter much anyway. The conversation is lively and the food is damn good and they’re all in surprisingly high spirits since Megumi’s happy to entertain her grandparents and the rest of them get to ease up on the self censoring as long as they keep their voices low. “I can’t believe I’m fifth wheeling,” Siyeon says into her drink after a little too short of a time, though. Because really, she’s just fine. 


“You’re not,” Yushi makes a face. He sends Daeyoung a glance. “We’re not- we’re not like them.”


Sion and Riku, who are the so-called “them”, are both offended. “Of course you’re not,” Sion nudges him under the table. “We kiss and hug and go on dates and you guys-”


“Sion, you- stop it,” Riku swats at him. Though maybe that’s for the best. Daeyoung looks awkward upon the mention of their situationship, scratching at his neck. Then he turns to Yushi with a mildly unimpressed face.


“Did you really tell everyone…”


Yushi shrugs. He doesn’t seem to notice the awkwardness, god bless his heart. “Siyeonie was gonna kill me if I didn’t.”


Sion wishes he could send the kid any kind of signal to fix his blunder, at least, because while Yushi definitely doesn’t have any intention to brush Daeyoung off in the way he kind-of does. Daeyoung’s face falls a little more and that is- Sion’s gotta pivot.


“Drinking games,” he slams his cup down on the table, jabbing his thumb at Riku. “We have to teach him.” But then, still trying to be supportive, Sion smiles at his boyfriend as an afterthought. “Try to keep up, baby.”


Riku balks. “Keep up with what?” But it’s too late; his fate is sealed.


The rest of them are experienced enough to speed through the ones they’ve played the most. Siyeon may not have gone to college like they did but bars in Mokpo aren’t really calm places, and Daeyoung similarly has partied back home even after going to school abroad. They dive right in, playing Apt and 3-6-9 and Baskin Robbins 31 and the zero game, which rattles Riku so severely he loses three times in a row.


“Y-you’re not being fair!” He whines, downing the rest of his beer. His face is already flushed.


“Sorry, sorry,” Sion squeezes his nape. “It’s just been a while since we’ve gotten to tease people. We can go easy on you.”


“Yeah, Sensei, we can chill out,” Siyeon refills his drink on his other side and leans in closer. “But I was hoping you’d be able to keep up.”


Riku looks back and forth between the two of them. He’s not really drunk but he’s certainly tipsy, because he goes even redder and says: “Um.” He picks up his sake cup. “Um. Okay. Um.”


“Don’t make him drink more,” Sion scolds his sister, leaning in to take Riku’s cup from him. He downs it himself and rests a hand on the small of Riku’s back. “You don’t have to force yourself,” Sion says to him. “Hm? Are we being too mean?”


Siyeon rests her head on her chin and leans in, too. “Sorry, Sensei. It’s ‘cause your reactions are so cute.”


Riku flushes even more and avoids both of their eyes. “N-no, it’s fine,” he leans into Sion’s shoulder and curls up there, looking very embarrassed. “It’s just… wow… there’s two of you…”


Siyeon laughs. Sion pinches his hip. “Oi, what does that mean.”


“It’s just- it’s like angel Sion and devil Sion,” Riku mumbles. Okay, so he’s a little drunker than Sion thought. His hand curls over Sion’s bicep. “Sorry, but you’re the handsomer one…”


He’s mumbling so Siyeon can’t understand what he’s saying with her limited Japanese. Sion just sighs. He makes sure his parents aren’t looking before he leans down to pull Riku in closer: “You need water, baby. You’re saying nonsense now.”


Riku just noses at him. “Okay...”


Honestly speaking it may not be that Riku’s tolerance is low, but that the rest of them are monsters. Sion goes to get his boyfriend water and the others keep playing drinking games, though it’s true that drinking sake and beer instead of soju is definitely not as intense as it is back home. Sion returns with a cup of water and steadies a hand on Riku’s back as he downs it. 


“Careful,” Sion chides him. 


Riku isn’t drunk enough to really need help, nor is he spilling, but his cheeks are still red. Though Sion lets go of him when he sees his mom glance over at them. That’s when Sion realizes just how fond the smile on his face must be, damn. 


Siyeon leans in on his other side. “You have a little…” She wipes at Riku’s chin with a grin. “Sensei, you’ve got so much aegyo.”


Sion sends her a dirty look but she gets the reaction she wanted, Riku stuttering. He wants to be offended that his sister of all people has this effect on his boyfriend when he’s tipsy, but deep down he kind of gets it. She’s just him with long hair; they’re even both wearing muscle shirts like they’re identical twins or some shit. Though that doesn’t mean Sion’s happy about it, still, because he really isn’t. 


“Eat more rice,” Sion murmurs to him. “It’ll sober you up. And ignore her.”


“O-okay,” Riku listens to him as he always does, though, eating a spoonful of rice. He leans briefly into Sion’s side. “Thank you for taking care of me.”


It’s bad. Sion really wants to kiss him, preferably until he’s squirming, but he has to let Riku pull away again when his parents turn their attention off of Megumi to observe the others absolutely decimating themselves in Bunny Bunny like a bunch of idiots. Sion huffs out a breath - if he had it his way, Riku would be in his lap for the rest of the night. But alas. 


“Of course I take care of you,” Sion tells him with a tiny pout. He flicks some hair out of Riku’s eyes and resists the urge to caress him. “I gotta take care of you. You’re mine, aren’t you?”


Riku’s blush deepens. But he still looks very, very pleased. “I guess that’s true…”


Soon enough everyone is done eating and the three drunkard children are all tipsy enough to tap out of the drinking games, though admittedly that’s more because it’s only six PM and there’s still hours until the ball drops. “We’ll have another round later!” Siyeon calls in Korean as they clear the table, thumping Daeyoung on the back. “Are you really only twenty-two?”


“Twenty-three,” Daeyoung winces. So even to a gym buff like him Siyeon is annoyingly strong, huh. That’s comforting. Daeyoung scratches his neck. “I graduated last year…”


“Last year? From college?” Siyeon sends Yushi a very specific, very loaded look, one that Sion can only assume means so you’re a cradle robber now, huh? “Hey, when did you graduate, Yuu-chan?”


Yushi sends her a dirty look back. “You know what? I hate you. This is why you can’t find a husband.”


Daeyoung gapes because those are fighting words, of course. But those two are just like that, to be honest, always squabbling because that’s how they show affection even at this age. Sion cackles when Siyeon grins, batting Yushi’s hand off when he swats at her. “Then where’s your husband, huh? Or are you too-”


“I’m-” Yushi downs another shot of sake and kicks her in the side. “I’m gonna kill you.”


But this is just par for the course at this point. Maybe there’s a little bit of culture shock in watching Yushi get pushed around so easily - Daeyoung seems aghast, at least, that his so-called Yushi-san’s able to be teased when normally he’s infallible - but the kid still helps Sion in the kitchen while Riku sobers up on the couch. Megumi’s back in his lap, somehow, and they’re as cuddly as ever. Sion packs the leftovers away and takes the cake they got from Sachiko out of the fridge. 


“Help me light these candles,” Sion prods Deyoung. But then the poor boy sways on his feet and Sion decides: “Er, actually, I’ve got it.”


“Hyung, I- I’m ready to help,” Daeyoung tries. But Sion just smiles and sends him back out to the living room.


“You’re not. Just be good and wait.” And of course Daeyoung floats back without question like an obedient little puppy. That makes Sion grin. He sees it now, why Yushi’s so stern with him.


“Yes, hyung-nim,” Daeyoung hangs his head. “My apologies…”


As usual, Sion didn’t drink enough to be affected much by the alcohol. He puts the candles on the cake before lighting them, making sure everything’s in order. And then, after a quick sweep of everything, he carries it out to the living room. “Excuse me, birthday girl,” Sion calls, “but you have a wish to make!”


Megumi sits up in Riku’s lap. Then she beams at the cake, which is absolutely covered in strawberries. “Is this for me?”


“Of course,” Sion grins back. “The rest of you, sing for my baby.”


Their rendition of Happy Birthday is a little skewed by the three drunkards at the table but Sion settles next to Riku on the couch and smooths back Megumi’s hair as she smiles, a little embarrassed, at all the attention. His mom is recording a video on her phone. Megumi leans back into Riku’s arms and hides in his neck.


“What are you so shy for?” Riku prods her. “Come on, baby, make a wish.”


Sion nudges her forward. “It’s your birthday, Gumi.”


So, in a very coy manner, Megumi leans forward and closes her eyes as if making a wish. And then she blows out the candles. The rest of them clap for her, Sion’s mom finishing the video and proclaiming: “Your aunties are gonna love this one!”


Sion grins. “What’d you wish for, Gumi?”


Megumi just curls back into Riku’s arms, holding one of his hands in both of hers and making a sly little expression. “I can’t tell you, Appa.” And, well, he supposes that’s true. At least she knows to keep her secrets, huh?


“Fine, then,” Sion ruffles her hair. “But you had a good birthday, right?”


He smiles wider when Megumi nods. “This is the best birthday ever.” And really, that’s all he can hope to ask for.


The ruckus isn’t calming down anyway. Most of them are still full from dinner but the kids can make room in their stomachs for cake, apparently, so Sion cuts pieces for everyone and gives the biggest to Megumi. Then he offers one to Riku, who shakes his head, but still takes a small bite of Sion’s slice. “Wow,” he says. “Sachiko-san is amazing.”


“Thank god for her, ‘cause I can’t bake,” Sion agrees. And he rarely has the time to make a trek to the city just for a cake, so things really worked out better this way... 


“Last year Appa made cupcakes,” Megumi tells Riku. “He burnt them.”


That makes Riku giggle and Sion only rolls his eyes. “Gumi, you said you were gonna forget about it.”


Megumi mimes her mouth zipping shut. Of course she’s a little shit, she’s his kid. Sion did this to himself, didn’t he?


Everyone’s busy indulging in the dessert, so Sion only barely notices the barrage of texts he’s getting. At first he’s confused but then he opens a group text and he realizes his mom sent their entire family the video of them singing happy birthday along with what is nearly a million photos of Megumi throughout the day. Which is- that’s very sweet of her, honestly. Sion smiles at all the wishes for Megumi’s birthday, thumbing down the ones that mention her terrible outfit. But then, of course, there are the inevitable responses to Riku.


Sion Oppa’s hot friend is here again TT thank you for blessing my eyes TT


Wow he’s good with Gumi too…. Sion what’s his Instagram. Seriously.


THEY’RE SO CUTE TOGETHER UEUEUE


Lol Sion hyung and his friend are posed like Gumi’s parents lololololol


The last text has several laughing reactions to it. Because that’s funny to them, you know, two guys being Megumi’s parents; there’s no way in hell their beloved good-boy hyung-oppa-figure Oh Sion could be gay! And sure, maybe he isn’t gay, but he’s at least halfway there and he’s very fond of the way he and Riku are posed with Megumi, thanks. Sion would never actually call Riku her parent but he’s… he’s something adjacent, kind of, or at least with time he could be. 


Sion replies to the text: Yeah, he’s my wife. So everyone can back off. That gets another round of laughing reactions. Of course it does, his family will always be so terribly heteronormative.


But then Siyeon, much to his dismay, announces to the room: “Sion is calling Riku Oppa his wife in our family groupchat.”


And, well, maybe he should’ve seen that coming. Sion rolls his eyes and pockets his phone as Yushi and Daeyoung both make icked-out faces. Megumi is too busy with her cake to notice and Riku’s isn’t well-versed enough in Korean to know what she said. He looks to Sion. “What’d she say?”


“I claimed you,” Sion says in Japanese, “because there are wolves out there.” He is definitely one of those wolves, a voice in his head reminds him, but that is unimportant.


But Riku just balks. “What?”


Yushi tells him: “He’s calling you his wife.”


Sion can’t help his smile because he’s a little smug, sure, at Riku’s face going red. It’s just cute. His parents don’t know shit for Japanese and over text it came off enough like a joke so it’s- it’s fine. Besides, Sion isn’t a well-adjusted enough person to not act on his jealousy every now and again. His vulture cousins are only getting Riku’s socials over his dead fucking body. 


But that’s when Megumi finally graces them with her attention span. “If Sensei’s Appa’s wife…” You can see her do the math in her head. “Then Sensei is my… my mom?”


And okay, admittedly Sion may have flown too close to the sun with that one - this is his own nonsense that Megumi shouldn’t be absorbing on any real level. Sion blinks and Riku goes even redder and Yushi, the fucking asshole, drunkenly dissolves into giggles. “Well. Um.” Sion pinches Megumi’s cheek. “Sensei’s not actually my wife, so.”


“Hm,” Megumi looks thoughtful. It’s hard to tell what she’s thinking because she doesn’t seem to be unperturbed in any way, mostly just digesting the idea. “Well, that wouldn’t be so bad. But Sensei can’t be my mom, he’s…” Megumi takes a chomp out of her cake. “He’s my Sensei.”


To be honest, Sion doesn’t know what to think of this. Megumi has never expressed any interest in the idea of two parents, nor has she ever seemed to think that Sion was dating, and there’s also no way in hell Megumi would ever think her dad and her teacher are gay-dating. Sion has never been so thankful in his life that his family can’t speak Japanese because his parents would be horrified and Siyeon would bully him until he died. “Yeah, honey,” Sion says faintly. “I thought you didn’t want a mom…”


“I don’t," she agrees. As always, Megumi is so frank. “But if I had to…”


Sion doesn’t know how to take that. He didn’t mean to- he’s being stupid, that’s all it is. But his eyes meet Riku’s and Riku’s not looking at him, his face and his ears bright red. Oh. So he likes the idea, huh. Of course he does. 


Sion takes a swig of beer. “Well, I was only teasing your Sensei,” he tells his kid. “Because he- he wouldn’t be a mom, he’d be a dad.”


That cover isn’t any better. Yushi breaks into more laughter and Riku face-palms. But Megumi only nods. “I know.”


And, well. Whatever that means. If Megumi’s so indifferent to all of this then Sion’s gonna… he’s not gonna keep that shit up anymore, you know, for his own fucking sanity. So he drops all mention of the wife-husband-parent-dad-mom thing and he finishes his cake with bright red ears, the rest of them still teasing in the meanwhile. Megumi goes back to eating as if nothing happened and Sion’s mind is- he feels a little insane, actually, because if Megumi’s preference for a mom was Riku, then… then, really, that’d be…


God. God, all of a sudden it’s really hot in here, huh?


At least most of them are too tipsy to dwell on all of that once the moment passes. Sion’s mom takes some more videos for the family, especially ones of Megumi thanking them all for the wishes, and Sion silences his phone - you know, again, for his sanity. Then he cleans up the cake, taking out more beer out of the fridge for the drunk children around the kotatsu. 


“I’m gonna do the dishes,” he says. “Don’t get too sloppy, seriously.”


“We won’t,” they all chirp back to him. And no, Sion doesn’t believe them even for a second. But they’ll be fine, so.


He checks on Megumi and Riku before he goes. Megumi is in the food coma stage of the night, curled up in Riku’s lap. They’re scrolling through his phone. Riku is murmuring something to her about when he was her age, growing up in Fukui. Sion sees a flash of childhood photos and he has to disengage or else he’s gonna be distracted for the rest of the night because there’s no way in hell Riku wasn’t an extremely cute kid.


“Do you need anything?” Is all Sion asks, briefly resting his hand over Riku's head. His boyfriend has sobered up a good deal, though his flush persists. Riku smiles up at him. 


“We’re good. Can I show Gumi your Instagram? She wants to see your college photos.” Riku shows Sion his phone, open to his own Instagram. It’s funny. Sion didn’t think Megumi would be interested in that kind of stuff, though he supposes he doesn’t talk to her much about what he was like growing up.


So Sion softens, of course, because he always does. “The PG ones, yeah. And…” He pats Megumi on the head. “Gumi. You know that I met your mom in college, right? Do you remember what she looks like?” Sion thinks of all the photos and how Tsuchiko’s presence was inescapable during those years and how they were so- well, you know. He’s just curious. 


Sion wouldn’t have asked such a thing months ago - bringing Tsuchiko up used to mean he’d get stoned out immediately - but he knows where Megumi’s at now, unperturbed by the fact that Sion is all she has and even happy that it worked out this way. For years Sion would tiptoe around the topic on her birthday like it was the plague, but hell, Megumi is eight years old now. She isn’t the scared baby she was four years ago; she isn’t nearly as small and she knows, more than anyone, how loved she is regardless of the amount of parents she has. 


Normally this would elicit an answer like “I don’t have a mom” or “I don’t care” or something akin to that. But now Megumi only shakes her head, her voice more subdued than usual. “I don’t really remember...”


Sion’s chest squeezes; his voice goes gentler. “You want Sensei to show you? You… you look a little like her, you know.”


Sion is so used to the feeling of hurt that Tsuchiko brings up in him, and honestly it hurts that he has no real way to know if Megumi feels the same. She was so young when all of that happened, wasn’t she? Sion doesn’t want to dredge up the bad feelings or the reminder that her mom simply just abandoned them. But just as Sion has grown since then, Megumi has too. She is bigger, she is more mature, she knows the world better than she used to; she nods. “I wanna see.”


Maybe if Sion were a better parent he’d be the one doing this instead, as in showing her the photos. But this is the first time Megumi’s ever shown any interest in seeing or hearing about Tsuchiko and he- he doesn’t think he can keep level enough to stay calm. It’d make him panic and spiral and think about the possibilities had she had not left them so early on. But Riku is a good neutral party, isn’t he? Riku always knows the right things to say. He knows in what ways Tsuchiko was a good woman because Sion has told him, before, that in a lot of ways she was good and it’s just that the bad was too much to bear. Riku knows that and Sion, still, can barely look at those photos.


But: 


“She’s pretty,” Riku says to Megumi. “Just like you.” And then he grins, of course, because he’s so good at these things. “We can just look at a few, okay?”


Megumi’s expression is impossible to read. But she leans into Riku’s shoulder and she nods. “Okay.”


Sion takes in a deep breath and leaves to return to the kitchen. Maybe it’s irresponsible that he trusts Riku with telling Megumi about Tsuchiko more than he trusts himself, but hell, Sion’s always going to hurt when it comes to that time in his life. All he can remember is how isolated he was, how small Megumi was, how Tsuchiko changed the longer they were married. He remembers the yelling. He remembers how Megumi cowered for years around loud sounds, and she had done that before, but it got worse over time. For a second anger simmers where there’s usually indifference, but then Sion inhales and he exhales and it’s gone.


The anger doesn’t serve him now. On Sion’s Instagram the two of them look happy, don’t they, and they both look happy with their baby, too. That’s- that’s what matters. Above all else, Sion would really like for Megumi to realize that there was a time when they were happy. He wants her opinion of her mom to be her own and not what he resents... 


Sion manages a tired smile. Right. Right, this is a good thing. Megumi is older now and her curiosity is a good thing. He should focus on that.


It’s surprisingly calm considering the chaos back in the living room; Sion puts on his dish-washing gloves, and despite knowing what’s going on out there, he isn’t worried. Megumi’s never shown any interest in her own baby photos but they’re all over Sion’s Instagram in stupid Snapchat filters and serious photoshoots alike and he wants her to see them. Those photos make him cry, to be honest, because she was so small and little and now she’s big and grown up. And it’s just so- really, it’s crazy how grown up she is. Sion is still mourning the baby version of his kid because a part of him wants her to be tiny and needy forever and he’s already devastated enough that Megumi doesn’t feel the urge to crawl under his shirts anymore. But that’s part of it, he knows, being a parent. It hurts but it’s just innate.


God. Megumi’s big and she’s gonna keep getting bigger and one day she’ll be Sion’s age and she’ll be smarter and more confident than he ever was. He’s excited to see the kind of person she’ll become. Knowing Megumi, she’ll still be brave and kind and strong and unflinchingly herself and Sion is- he’s her only Appa, isn’t he? Megumi is his whole world and Sion wishes for her happiness more than anything else, her success and her prosperity and a future that’s overwhelmingly bright. He does; this hurts but he’s happy. 


(And besides that, the idea of Megumi growing to six feet tall makes him want to laugh his ass off. There’s just no fucking way, right?)


Sion quickly focuses in on the dishes; there’s a whole fucking mountain to get through and he has only just started scrubbing at the plates when his mom joins him. Sion’s hackles raise because he knows why she’s here. “Eomma, I’ve got it. So don’t touch anything, okay?”


“Don’t be silly,” his mom says. “Let me help you. You never let me help you.” And she’s right, huh. She doesn’t mean it in any kind of way, but she’s right.


“I…” Sion sighs. “Eomma, really…”


“Just let me,” his mom pushes into his side. “I’m here to help you.”


And so, evidently not putting up much of a fight at all, Sion lets her. He steps to the side and they stand shoulder to shoulder at the sink. His mom is tiny in comparison to him but she’s much more well-practiced at washing dishes, quick and efficient and far less clumsy. Sion watches her work for a second before he casts his eyes down. His mom’s only in her sixties and yet her hands are already shaking…


“Megumi’s so grown up now,” his Eomma says after what feels like forever. It’s only a minute or two, though. “She’s- she’s so much like you, Sion. It reminds me of when you were that age.”


Her voice is steady, no particular inflection in it. But Sion smiles. “That’s terrible, isn’t it? I was a troublemaker.”


But his mom only shakes her head and she’s smiling, too. “No, she’s a good kid just like you were. You were always such a good boy, Sion…” Her hands don’t falter but something on her face flickers in Sion’s peripheral. “Did you know that? Everything your father and I told you to do, you did it without question. You never complained. You never asked for help, either. You still don’t.”


Something in Sion’s stomach tumbles. “Yeah, I know,” he says. He remembers being Megumi’s age and finally being allowed to help with the cows, finally allowed to bale hay as long as there was stringent supervision. He was far more independent than Megumi is, that’s for sure. But their temperament is the exact same. Headstrong, relentless, stubborn and bullheaded beyond belief... 


“She’s exactly like you. It makes me happy, you know.” Sion turns to his mom and she looks back at him, something in her gaze watery. “Did you know that? I’m so happy that she’s like you because it means she’ll be good like you. Even by yourself, you… you’ve raised her so well.”


Sion’s mouth goes dry. It feels like his blood has run cold in his veins or something and he doesn’t even know what to say. His- his mom has never said anything like this before. Sion was brought up on negative reinforcement and every accomplishment brought along a critique of what he could do better, and that was fine, because he had assumed that he just hadn’t done well enough no matter what it was. But Sion’s parents have softened with age; Megumi has never been told anything especially scathing; she’s never scolded nearly as harshly as he was. 


Sion’s hands freeze on the plate he’s cleaning. He doesn’t know what to say. He always grew up doing his best, of course, but he didn’t know his parents were… he had no idea they were proud of him in any way. “I…” Sion is a little speechless. “What?”


“It’s- I just feel sorry,” his mom says, and Sion is still, still, still frozen because his mom has never apologized to him before and this conversation is taking a turn he never could’ve seen coming in a million years. “I’m sorry that I kept telling you to get married again. Megumi is happy with how you’ve raised her. And now you’re…” His Eomma looks away. “And you’re happy, too.”


Sion blinks. He’s confused but mostly he’s touched. And a little flabbergasted, yeah, but that’s because his parents never seemed to care much about how happy he was. His voice comes out light: “Eomma…”


His mom stares down at her hands, scrubbing one of the pots that Sion uses everyday. He brought it from Mokpo, too, another relic from his grandparents. “Sion,” she says. “I’ve never seen you this happy before. I had no idea until now how unhappy you were before, but now you’re like a new person.”


“I…” Again, Sion is speechless. “It’s not that I was unhappy, I just-” He wants to defend himself on principle. Because in many ways he is defensive of the way he grew up, despite everything he suffered through, and that is his guilt. The church, the farm, he doesn’t want to resent them even though he of course does.


But his mom, for the first time in his life, doesn’t seem to care for any of that. “No, you were. You were miserable. But now you’re settled down again and you’re so happy. It feels like I have a new son.”


Her voice is shaking; of course they don’t look at each other. Sion comes by his neuroticism honestly and he’s never told anyone how he gets a lot of it from his mom, his abrasive way of conversation and teasing instead of sincerity and inability to make eye contact. But wordlessly, her soapy hand reaches out for his, and she squeezes. 


“Sion,” she says. Her voice is unsteady but it’s not uncertain. “Sion, the day you were born was the happiest day of my life. It still is. It’s been thirty-four years and I still remember the way I felt when I first saw you smile. And I-” Sion can see her close her eyes. “Your father and I love you. No matter what.”


God. God, what is this? Sion doesn’t know what to say. He’s never heard this kind of thing from his parents before and he never expected to, nor did he- he never really wanted to, either. Sion grew up like this, you know? He doesn’t know what to do when people are too doting on him because that’s just not how he was raised. But his heart is in his throat because she’s making it sound like…


What, exactly, does she mean by that? Sion can only whisper: “What?”


She squeezes his hand again. “I mean, if you’re happy here, don’t worry about your dad or I. Or the farm. Or even-” She presses her free hand to her cheek and sighs. “Don’t worry about church, either.” And devastatingly, this is what she says next: “Megumi loves Riku so much, doesn’t she.”


It feels like Sion’s heart is beating in his throat. It feels like it stops, restarts, stops again. Because never in his thirty-four years of his life has he ever really been truly honest to his parents, and he was never going to be, and that’s fine because just how it is. Sion dug his grave. It was closet-shaped. I will die in this, he thought at ten years old, because it will break Eomma’s heart if I don’t. Because it would ruin her life. The guilt would be enough to kill her.


But Sion can barely breathe and immediately tears spring to his eyes. He wants to ask what she means. But that idea is too- it’s too daunting, and so instead he inhales and he exhales and in a very tiny voice Sion says: “She does. She really loves him.”


He watches his Eomma close her eyes. “That’s so good. He’s really lovely to her.” And really, Sion’s heart feels like it could break.


It’s just- this is so much. Sion has never hated either of his parents, is the thing. Especially not his mom. He may have resented her, sure, but it’s hard to condemn the things they taught him when it was what they grew up in, too. The aftermath of the Korean War, reconstruction, the looming church doors shining like a beacon of hope in the devastation of Gwangju in the forties, again in the sixties, and then in the eighties, and again and again and-


He was brought up in it, the terror, because they were all forced to live it. Sion knew to bow his head and he knew to kneel and he knew what to say in confession. His mother taught him all of it, she told him of the pain they were living in the shadow of, she was the one who’d make him breakfast and lunch and dinner and read him the bible before bed and took him to church because to her- to her, that was the right thing. That was the thing that saved his grandparents from their pain, and it saved her, and so it’d save him, too. She has no idea what he’s been carrying since he was ten years old and yet she- what does she mean by all of this?


“Eomma.” Sion’s voice is a whisper, he’s so terrified that he can hardly breathe. 


His mom’s eyes don’t open. But she exhales something heavy. “I…” Her hand squeezes his, again. “Sion, are you happy?”


Sion can barely think. “I…” He’s never been asked that in his life, especially not by his parents, and it’s something he’s never cared for either way. But his mom is the one asking - his mom of all people, of all mothers in the world, of all the Eommas who’d force their boys to go to mass and say grace before every meal and wear the altar boy robes. “I’m just…”


It’s insane. Isn’t this insane? This woman, of all women, opens her eyes again. “Sion,” his Eomma says his name. It’s the name she gave him, it’s the name the church gave him. “Sion, I- I know I’ve never told you this, but I’ve always wanted you to be happy.”


Sion stares at her. Everything in him is completely frozen, unmoving, terrified. A tear slowly, slowly, slowly tracks down his face. “You did?”


She nods. And it’s just- god. God, is this even real?


It feels like too much all at once because Sion is so fucking guilt-ridden on principle, he already has a hard time contending with the fact that he resents his mom as much as he does. She’s the hardest worker he’s ever known and she was the one who split her duty between house wife and mother and farm worker and she’s the reason Sion values his own resilience so much because his mother, more than anyone, has always been the strongest person in his life. His Eomma is the reason he knows better than to complain or lament the bad things; she has never complained and so so Sion wanted to do right by the woman who gave her life for him. Just like he did for Megumi. Sion can’t hate his mother, could he? She’s just like him. She’s better than him. She’s better than him because beyond that stubborn bullheadedness, she puts her history aside and holds his hand and tells him to forget about church and that she wants him to be happy.


Sion heart squeezes and squeezes and squeezes. He breathes: “I- I don’t-” What does he do? What does he say? Sion doesn’t know, he’s never known anything. 


“If Riku is a good man-” she looks away. “Sion, really. Really, I- I want the best for you and Megumi. So just-”


These words are foreign to him. They’re so fucking foreign, or at least they are coming out of his mom’s mouth, and Sion is at a complete loss for words. It feels like he’s dreaming because this is the thing he’s been running from, this is his guilt and his shame and the reason he hides. There is the shadow of a crucifix and a rosary hanging in the very, very back of his closet and twelve years of Catholic school nipping at his heels. Sion didn’t think his mom, the most pious woman he has ever known, would put church aside for him. Is he worth that to her?


Sion didn’t think he was before. But now, he… he has a feeling that he might be. And he doesn’t know how to handle the idea of being the one exception to a woman who has never made any exception for anyone, not even herself. 


Sion’s mother looks up at him, her face worn with age and labor and years of stressing over the farm and their family’s finances. But her face is so similar to his and her eyes are watery and she takes one of Sion’s hands in both of hers. Sion dwarfs her. That’s the thing he notices and it breaks his heart. His mother is so small, now, and she tells him: “Sion, you’ve worked so hard your whole life. You’ve done everything we asked. You’re such a good father.” She inhales and she says: “Megumi didn’t smile when Tsuchiko held her in her lap. And if Riku makes her smile like that, then… then you should just forget about the other stuff.”


Sion is- he doesn’t know what to say. Still, still, still, he’s speechless. But he sniffles because there’s no way in hell he can hold in his tears now. “Eomma.” He doesn’t know if she means what he wants her to mean, what for thirty-four long years he has so desperately wanted more than anything.


“You’ve done so much good for both of you,” she whispers. She squeezes his hand. “Riku is a good man. I don’t want you to be miserable anymore, okay? Not because of me.”


It’s- in a way this is kind of funny. Of course she still can’t say it. It, you know, the three letter word that Sion is not but he may as well be. There’s no way she could say that and honestly Sion doesn’t want her to, because if his parents actually approved of him being queer, it might break him for real. It might break him forever. If his parents took in Riku like they took in Tsuchiko, he might die. Because Sion never thought this could be real, his mother standing in the same house as his boyfriend and instead of being terrified and six feet under, Sion is… he’s happy. He’s so happy it could kill him. 


“I…” Sion can feel another tear fall. He couldn’t tell you the last time he cried in front of his mom. But he wants to tell her, very deep down, what he’s been hiding. He can’t but he wants to, so Sion’s chest clenches and he says in a very tired, very small voice: “You know, Riku’s so good. And I don’t know if I-” Sion doesn’t even know how to put it into words, what Riku has done for him. “Megumi doesn’t want a mom, you know? And she… she doesn’t need one, Eomma.”


Sion has never been so afraid of something in his life. But his mother closes her eyes, a single tear falling, and she nods too. “I know. And that’s… I can live with that, Sion. Just keep doing right by her.”


He looks down at his mother, tiny in stature and perhaps the hugest force he’s ever encountered in his life. She nods and she smiles a tiny thing and she looks… it looks almost like satisfaction, but Sion would never assume she was satisfied with him, because for every part of the legacy he was supposed to live up to, he failed. That’s the thing that still haunts him even now. The farm, church, Tsuchiko, even Megumi is-


But his mother’s face is his, is Siyeon’s, is Megumi’s. Sion exhales and with it he breathes out so, so, so much fucking pain. What is there for him to punish himself for now? This is what he always wanted, for his mom to hold him and tell him that she’s proud of him. Sion thinks of his job, his destiny, his legacy, the bloodshed their farm was built on and the shadow of terror that has followed him his whole life, that has followed everyone he knows. But he’s here and he is- he has done well. Sion’s done a good job. He’s a good dad and he’s a good man and his past is the past.


That’s something he only realizes now - he doesn’t have to die in the grave he built for himself, does he? But in that grave he can bury catholic school, Tsuchiko, everything he never realized and- and all of it. His mom doesn’t even need to say the word. She really, really, really doesn’t need to. Sion is just allowed to be happy.


Wow. Something in him that has been tense since the day Soohyun transferred into his class in fifth grade finally, finally breaks; Sion bows his head and he cries. 


In an instant, his mother turns off the faucet. She takes her gloves off and she reaches up to cup his cheeks in both hands and they are small, her hands. But they are still his mom’s. They held him while they crossed the street and they put bandaids over his scrapes and they cupped his head the first time she doused him in rice water so his hair would grow in thick and strong. “Sion-ah,” her voice is low, watery. “Sion-ah, I’m so proud of you.”


Sion cries. The tears fall and fall and she wipes them away. “Do you really…” He can’t even say it. He doesn’t need their approval, he just needs to know that he isn’t the reason they’ve suffered.


“Come here,” his mom says. “I- give me a hug.”


Sion has to slouch down to hug his mom properly but it’s- it’s good. He’s hugged her a lot over the years but it was never affectionate in any real way. It was an automatic movement, like another aspect of the role he plays. But he’s surprised how steady his mom is as she holds him tight and she reaches up, up, up to squeeze his nape the same way Sion squeezes Megumi’s. And that only makes him cry even more.


“Sion, I don’t want to see you that miserable again,” her voice is muffled in his shoulder. “So please, just-” Her voice catches and Sion nods.


“I- I will.”


“Megumi is so healthy. She’s grown up so well. I’m sorry that I doubted you,” she says. “You’re even braver than I realized.”


Sion doesn’t sob. But there’s a choked-off noise in his throat and he sniffles. “I don’t- I-”


“I- I love you. You know that, right?” Sion’s parents don’t often say that so it makes him squeeze his eyes shut as she strokes over his hair. “Your father and I really love you. Sometimes I hate that you’re so far away.” She exhales. “But you’re happy here. So all I ask is that you visit.”


Sion squeezes her a little tighter. He feels broken and tired and his voice is snotty and he is snotty. “I will,” he promises. “I still- I still miss Mokpo everyday.” It pains him to say it but it’s true. Rolling fields and endless beaches and pickup trucks down farm roads and- and everything. It lives in him and it always will.


“You do?” She sounds teary, too. “But you’re happy here?”


Sion shuts his eyes as tightly as he can. “I am.” And he means it now, finally: “I- Eomma, he makes me so happy.”


God. For a second they just stand there like that, crying, and it’s still hard to grapple with all of this. Sion is used to denying himself things because that’s what his mom did to herself, too, and it’s hard not to hold the worst of her in him. But Sion slouches down and she strokes his hair and it’s almost like he’s a child again, before the world ever hurt him, before he ever knew to be ashamed…


“You’ve done so well,” his mom says. “You’ve done so well with her, I want you to do well with yourself…”


Sion sniffles. He’s a little less teary but not much. “I’ll try.”


“I know that- I know that I made mistakes with you,” she whispers. “And Sion, I really… I am sorry…”


It’s okay, Sion wants to say. It’s an impulse that he almost gives into. But he holds her a little tighter and exhales so many years of guilt and shame and staring in his reflection and hating his face because he saw his mother’s scowl all over it. “I turned out alright,” is what he says. “And I’m happy that you…”


He doesn’t know how to word this. Anything too vulnerable is still so strange, isn’t it, and his mom is too sharp to not read between the lines. She squeezes his nape again.


“Thank you, Eomma,” is what Sion says. “I- thank you.”


Wow. This kind of blindsided him, to be honest, and it’s then when his mom pulls away with an embarrassed look on her face. Sion feels similarly embarrassed that he’s crying like this, but all she does is click her tongue and reach for a nearby towel. God. They’re really so similar, huh.


“You used to cry a lot when you were really young,” she says. “And I’d have to wipe your face…”


Sion feels so ridiculously small and silly and stupid. But he also feels as light as air for the first time in ten years. He almost feels invincible. Where there is always the echo of doubt in his mind is silence. It doesn’t speak a single word and that’s- that’s new, isn’t it?


“I- I’m sorry,” he mumbles. He wipes his eyes. “I didn’t realize I would…”


Sion is the first-born son in a very traditional family. He’s never been encouraged to be emotional, and so he wasn’t, and being honest scares the shit out of him the same way it’s scared everyone in his goddamn bloodline. But his mom smiles and Sion wipes at her eyes, too.


“It’s okay. I’m just happy.” She pinches his ears. “You grew up so well.”


Sion’s cheeks redden. Yes, even compliments at his age are embarrassing. “It means you raised me well, Eomma.” He’s not entirely joking about that either, because no matter what happened during his childhood there is no one in this entire world Sion will ever respect more than his mom. 


Her eyes avert down to the ground. “I- well. Well, I don’t know about that.” God, no, she’s really just like him.


In that vein, Sion grins. He can’t help it. It’s like looking into a mirror and that’s not a bad thing because he loves her and she loves him and he knows that. “Eomma,” he teases just a smidge, thinking back to how Megumi drawls her voice at him. “You’re the best, did you know that?”


And, well, Sion knows he’s being an asshole. But he gets the reaction he wanted anyway - she smacks him a bit with the snot-towel, though she’s still unable to make eye contact. Sion has picked up the worst of her the same way Megumi has picked up the worst of him, and that’s just how it is. “I-” she straightens her clothes. “I- you- just go back out there. I’ll finish these.”


Sion grin widens. “The dishes? No way. You’re my guest.” 


“I don’t care. Get out of my kitchen,” she shoves him away. And then she threatens the towel again. “Get-”


“Okay, okay!” Sion cowers, unable to help the laughter that rises out of him. “I’m going!”


And, like, wow. Really, what the fuck just happened? Sion stands in the dining room and has to pinch himself to make sure he didn’t just have an incredibly wishful dream - the quiet in the kitchen made him feel like he was in a completely different world where all he could hear was the quiet guilt in his mom’s voice, really. And yet, back in the living room, the chaos is still reigning on. His dad’s passed out on the couch but Siyeon, Yushi, and Daeyoung are back to their drinking games and Megumi is still curled up in Riku’s lap, staring down at his phone as he talks to her in a quiet voice. She looks contemplative. Sion wipes at his eyes again before approaching them. 


“H-how’s everything going?” Sion doesn’t know how the fuck he’s supposed to come off as normal after the conversation he just had. But he only smiles when they both look up at him. Riku’s eyes narrow but Megumi just blinks.


“You’ve been crying so much recently, Appa,” she says. She reaches for him and Sion steps in closer so she can dab at his eyes with her shirt sleeve. “Did something bad happen?” 


It’s not like Sion would tell her that he just had a life-changing heart to heart with her grandmother over the dishes. But he smiles and he tells her: “No, they’re happy tears. I was thinking about how grown up you are and I couldn’t stop crying.”


Megumi’s face twists up like that’s an incredibly weird thing for him to be doing. But Sion only mouths to Riku: Later. And then he slips down next to them, having no qualms about pulling his boyfriend into his side with a firm arm wrapped around his shoulder. “What have you been up to?”


Riku hums. As always, he’s easily-accepting. “Megumi was shocked that you used to be so small. And she thinks Tsuchiko was very pretty.”


Megumi nods. “You were tiny, Appa.” Sion notices her glossing over the elephant in the room but if she doesn’t have anything to offer him, he won’t push. Or at least not now. 


“I was still bigger than both of you,” Sion sighs. Then Riku flashes his phone screen, a group photo from college, and he blanches. “God, that is horrifying.” 


“You look just like Gumi, though,” Riku smiles, smoothing a hand over her hair. He scrolls to a photo all the way back from high school, when Sion’s face was rounder and he looked a lot more like a tiny prey creature rather than the jaded, exhausted man he is now. He’s right, though, every feature on that baby face is a dead ringer to his kid’s.


“Wow,” Sion breathes, leaning in to get a better look. He’s surprised by how uncanny it is, and also how terrible his selfie game was in 2011. God, how old was he in 2011? “You know what, this is freaking me out now.”


“Why? You’re cute,” Riku grins to himself like a satisfied little cat, nosing at Megumi nestled between them. “Isn’t your Appa cute here, Gumi?”


“Cuter than me,” Megumi agrees sagely. Sion can only roll his eyes.


“That’s impossible, nothing’s cuter than you,” he leans in to kiss her left cheek, then her right, then her nose. “Who told you you’re not the cutest thing, huh?” Then he goes for her forehead. “If anyone is cuter than you, I’ll-”


“Appa!” Megumi squirms away, making both him and Riku laugh. “Eurgh.”


“Sorry,” Sion smiles. He leans in and rests his head on Riku’s shoulder. “I’m just so happy, honey. I’m so proud of you for growing up well.”


Megumi, too, rests against Riku’s shoulder. She looks him in the eyes. “I’m only eight, Appa.” And, well, she’s got a point there.


Normally Sion wouldn’t keep her up this late but it’s New Year’s Eve and even a sleepy kid who likes to get to bed early like Megumi is eager to watch the ball drop. Sion indulges in one more beer but he has no interest in being anything like the three drunkards at his kotatsu. Sion’s gonna have to let them stay the night. Normally that would be just fine but he doesn’t know if he trusts Yushi and Daeyoung to keep their hands to themselves on his couch.


He takes a long sip, sighing. But again, he doesn’t have much of a choice. There’s no way in hell they’re getting home in one piece... 


Soon enough Sion’s mom is done in the kitchen; she rouses Sion’s dad so the both of them can head to bed early. She avoids Sion’s eyes but accepts a hug from Megumi, who’s pleased at the way her Halmeoni ruffles her hair. Then Megumi plops right back on top of them so she can sprawl across both him and Riku.


“She’s gotten so good at this kind of thing,” Riku murmurs. “Has she always been climbing you like this?”


Sion smiles. “Oh, yeah. Isn’t it ridiculous?” He pokes at Megumi’s cheek. “My little baby monkey.”


She only grabs at his hand. “You’re my monkey Appa, then.” That just makes Sion grin. Really, there’s nothing more perfect in the world than his Megumi. 


Everyone is calm now, though, which is nice. Yushi is slumped into Daeyoung’s side as Daeyoung scrolls on his phone with a dazed look in his eyes, petting absentmindedly over Yushi’s hair while Yushi himself seemingly drifts off. Siyeon’s the only one of them whose alcohol tolerance is strong enough to still be going, though she’s clearly drunk. “We should do karaoke,” she says.


“Not at this hour,” Sion smiles and nudges her with his foot. “You’re gonna wake Eomma and Appa.”


She pouts, slouching down to frown at her cup. “Ugh. You’re so lame and I hate you...”


Goodness, she’s drunk. “We can do karaoke later this week,” Sion promises, but that’s mostly because even though Siyeon’s a brute he loves appeasing his baby sister. Sion leans forward only to flick some of the hair out of her face. “Aigo, you look a mess. Is this how you’ve been husband hunting?”


Siyeon sends him another pout. “Shut up. It’s not fair. You’ve got your husband so why can’t I…”


Wow, she’s a silly drunk. Sion smiles and pets over her head. “It’s okay. We’ll find you a nice guy.” But then he thinks about the demographics in Mokpo and his smile strains. “Well, surely there has to be someone.”


Siyeon bemoans. “It’s ‘cause I’m built like you. They want a petite church girl and I’m just-” She frowns, again, deeply into her sake cup. “I’m just you with boobs, Oppa.”


Sion looks to Riku, whose face is empathetic. It’s not often that Siyeon gets insecure - or at least not for other people to hear - and so Sion gently moves Megumi off of him so he can sit down on the floor and pull his sister in by the shoulder. “Siyeon,” he says as he squeezes her into a hug. “You’re prettier than I am.”


“But I’m not,” she whines. “Even Riku doesn’t think so.”


Sion grins. He pinches at her cheek, hard. “That’s ‘cause he’s dating me, idiot. I honestly think he’d go for either one of us.” 


Back on the couch he can hear Riku scoff, which Sion ignores because no matter what his boyfriend says it’s still true. He pulls Siyeon into an even tighter hug and she goes easily. She bemoans: “Is twenty-eight still young enough to meet the love of my life?”


Sion smiles. He kisses her on the forehead. “I was thirty-four, so you tell me.”


He’s being honest but Siyeon just sighs something long and pained. She lets Sion nuzzle at her, which means she’s definitely drunk, because otherwise she hates acknowledging the age difference between them and the fact that Sion used to be the one who she’d go to after having a nightmare. Siyeon’s so grown up now, too. But she’s still another one of his many babies, really.


“I wish I was a lesbian,” she says. And then after a second of thinking: “No, I don’t. We can’t both be disappointments.”


Maybe a few weeks ago that would’ve hurt Sion to hear no matter how much of a joke it is. But right now, all he does is smile. “Just give yourself some time. You’ve got a lot of living left to do.”


Midnight approaches. Megumi is hardly awake but she follows Sion to the floor while yawning, like she’s got a built in find-Appa-and-cuddle-him radar. Sion wrestles her back into his lap and she drifts in and out of sleep while latched onto his shoulders. Riku joins them on the floor, too, on Sion’s other side. They’re both basically sober at this point and even when Riku tries respecting space between them, Sion pulls him in closer.


“‘S fine,” he murmurs. He nods down at Megumi. “She’s knocked out.”


Riku’s chin hooks over his shoulder. “But still…” Never mind the fact that he still scoots in closer, too. 


Sion tangles their fingers together. “Look, the ball’s about to drop.”


It’s funny. None of them are old enough to be this tired before midnight, and yet all five of them are exhausted. But the countdown on TV starts and they all try their best to snap to attention; Sion jostles Megumi awake just so she can celebrate with them. 


“Look,” he says at the thirty second mark. “It’s almost the new year.”


Megumi yawns. One of her arms stays hooked around Sion’s neck and the other reaches out for Riku. “I’m up so late,” she says in the kind of wonder only a seven- no, an eight year-old would.


“You are.” Riku moves in closer as the count reaches ten, nine, eight…


“You’re so grown up now,” Sion coos and the voice on TV reads out seven, six, five…


Riku nuzzles into Megumi’s cheek. He smiles over at Sion. “I think Gumi needs a new year’s kiss.” 


Sion nods. “She does.”


Evening turns to midnight and Megumi grins while her Appa kisses one cheek and her Sensei pecks at the other. Yushi and Daeyoung don’t move from their seat, Yushi doing little more than curling a hand around Daeyoung’s wrist. Siyeon grins over at the three of them and snaps a picture.


“You lucky girl, Megumi,” she coos. “Your parents love you so much, hm?”


It’s silly. If this had been months, a week, a few days ago maybe Sion would’ve scolded her for giving Riku a title he doesn’t have. But Riku’s cheeks are pink as he smiles and Sion only squeezes both of them in even tighter.


“They do,” Megumi yawns before nodding off again, a smile still on her face. “I’m so happy.”



 ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 



It’s not long after that that Riku leaves. Yushi and Daeyoung are allowed to sleep on the couch but they’re under a strict no hanky-panky policy. Luckily they’re too tired to fight Sion on it much. His sister puts Megumi to bed and Sion sees Riku out the door.


“C’mere,” Sion sighs, pulling Riku into a hug as they stand out on the doorstep together. He’s once again tempted to say it, the thing that’s been weighing on his mind, because of course he is. But Sion doesn’t, still, though he’s never been so certain of something in his life. Or least he’s the most certain he’s been in years…


It’s a little funny for Sion to be thinking that, though. The last time he was so certain he wanted to devote his life to someone, he held Megumi in the aftermath of the courtroom - on paper, she was his. Only his. And again, Sion would- he’d kill himself for Riku, which is intense, but it’s still true. He would. Sion may have spent the past four years growing but his devotion remains unchanging, really, because the only way he knows how to love is at the highest degree.


But that’s fine, isn’t it? He can wait. Sion’s surprised by his own patience, if not very proud of himself for being able to abstain as much as he has. Which may have been a low bar to pass, sure. But still!


Riku just nuzzles into his neck, sighing. “You’re so warm.” Again, he’s in Sion’s coat. Sion can’t help but suspect that at this point he may never get it back but that’s also fine. Riku presses into him even closer: “I wish I could stay. Maybe I should’ve gotten drunker…”


“You know if my parents weren’t here, you could. But it’s better this way, baby, because then we don’t have to worry about getting caught.” Sion nuzzles him back because he’s feeling equally fond, of course. “They leave in a week and then we can go on a date. How’s that sound?”


Riku’s arms squeeze tighter around his waist and then he pulls back just enough to look him in the eyes. “It sounds good.”


Sion smiles. He smooths over his hair. “Then we’ll do that in a week. And tonight you’ll get home safe, right? And you’ll text me when you get back…?”


Riku smiles, too. “I will.”


God, he’s so pretty. Sion’s stuck on that, of all things, because even though Riku is good inside and out, even just his face is so hauntingly beautiful. It’s hard to not get distracted by it when he looks at you like that. So, not thinking much, Sion dips down and kisses him. You know, he needs a few for the road and everything...


His hand cups Riku’s jaw and Riku’s face rises to meet him without any second thought. “Is this our New Year’s kiss?” Riku’s voice comes out as a mumble as he leans back in for another.


“Yeah,” Sion can’t help his grin. “We have to properly greet the New Year, you know.”


Riku only huffs out a laugh but he still obliges, kissing him right back. “Okay.”


It’s nothing rushed or hurried or particularly charged and that’s probably Sion’s favorite thing about kissing Riku. He never acts like he’s in a hurry, he’s always thorough and indulgent. When they separate Sion pulls him back into a hug and sighs. The light above the front door flickers a little and in the low-light Riku is still beautiful. He’s so beautiful and he’s so, so good. 


“You…” Sion doesn’t even know what to say. He doesn’t want to talk about what happened with his mom, not yet, not until he can sort through his thoughts. But he tells Riku very honestly: “You make me so happy. Did you know that?”


Riku grins into his cheek. “Mm. I had a feeling. You make me happy, too.”


It’s not anything to cry over because Sion’s been crying a lot recently, and it’s all been about very big feelings and the things that have haunted him for years. This isn’t anything poignant in the grand scheme of things. There are a lot of poignant things Sion could be thinking or saying right now, but his eyes water a little bit and he’s just happy. 


“Thank you for existing,” he says. “I like you so much.”


Riku smiles into his jaw and his hand squeezes Sion’s wrist. “Thank you, too. I like you so much that I could just-” He drags Sion back into another kiss and Sion, caught off guard, can only laugh. 


“Well, then I could-” He squeezes Riku by the nape and drags him in again, again, again.


“Please,” Riku says. “I just need a little more…”


Eventually Sion actually lets him leave, though the dumb and idiotic part of him wants to bring Riku back inside and figure out how to squeeze him into the futon with him and Megumi. But he- he can’t do that, not yet. Soon, but not yet. Sion knows he should at least keep some distance in order to not overindulge. “Text me,” he reminds his boyfriend as Riku pulls away, squeezing his hand as he goes.


“I will.” Riku’s arm stretches out as far as it can and then he’s making grabby hands. “Don’t miss me too much.”


Sion leans back against his door and watches him leave. “Ah, it’s too late. I already miss you.”


It’s silly of them. Sion stands there and watches until Riku is a dot down the road. The night is cold but it’s not as chilly as it will be in a few week’s time, which is good, because Sion was sure to bundle him up tight. After just taking a moment to breathe, he slips back inside; he could be sappy right now but there are things to still attend to. 


And also, god, he’s exhausted. 


Back on the couch, Daeyoung is fast asleep and Yushi is scrolling on his phone. The two of them squeezed on the cushions, laying chest-to-chest. Sion only asks in a whisper: “Is that comfortable? You can sleep with me and Gumi if you need to.”


But Yushi, of course, just shakes his head. “‘M good here.” He leans against Daeyoung’s shoulder like he belongs there and it’s not like Sion’s very surprised by that - Tokuno Yushi really might be the most predictable guy in the world.


Sion smiles. “Okay then…” They should have another pep talk, soon, but that can wait. Isn’t that a great feeling? No one has to be in any kind of rush at all.


Sion makes sure everything in the house is locked and turned off - this is hardly anything he has to worry about now that his kid is old enough to not go exploring in places she shouldn’t, but a little paranoia never killed anyone - and then he slips back into Megumi’s room. She’s in her PJs but wide awake atop her futon. “Is Sensei okay?” She asks when he slides the door shut behind him.


“Yeah. Were you waiting for me?” Sion softens when she nods, though he’s mostly just surprised. It’s way past her bedtime and usually Megumi, even at her age, is dead asleep by eight-thirty. 


“I wanted to fall asleep with Appa,” she yawns, rolling under the covers. “So hurry up.”


Sion smiles a wry thing and listens. He pulls off his shirt for a spare he’s keeping in her closet; he sheds his pants to pull on sweats. The house is insulated well-enough - he made sure of that when they moved in - but Megumi’s room can get a little cold, so he puts on thicker socks before crawling into the futon with her. “I’m ready now.”


It’s funny how familiar of a song and dance this is, sleeping together. It used to be out of desperation; Sion was always sleeping poorly when they weren’t in the same room and for many years Megumi was plagued by nightmares that only his touch could soothe. But Megumi slots into his neck and she’s bigger now, grown up and stronger and more mature. She doesn’t need Sion to hold her anymore and yet she still wants him to. Selfishly, Sion hopes to god that she always will.


He closes his eyes and runs a hand down her back. Normally Megumi’s nodding off immediately but he can tell by her breath that she’s still awake. “You okay?” He asks.


“Yeah,” Megumi mumbles. “‘M just… I dunno…”


Distantly, Sion can’t help but wish that he asked Riku to stay after all. They’d probably both sleep easier if he did. But that’s okay, you know, that he isn’t here. Sion has accepted the fact that he wants Riku to be a permanent fixture in both of their lives, which is a bit of a selfish thought, but in the same vein he knows Riku feels the same. And that’s a little crazy to him, still, but it’s true. Riku’s here for him and he’s here for Megumi, too, in whatever way they need him to be there.


Sion just lays there for a second, thinking. Megumi doesn’t say anything else but she blinks against his cheek, much more awake than he thought she’d be. Sion thinks of the future, the three of them together, the end of the school year slowly approaching… hm…


“Gumi, is it okay if I ask you something?” Sion licks his lips. There’s less than three months until then and he just- he wants to start planning for the future for real. He’s finally feeling brave enough to do that. Isn’t it so strange?


“Yeah,” she noses into him. “What, am I in trouble?”


Sion huffs out a laugh and she, too, snickers. God, Megumi’s really just like him. Sion used to loathe that but now he kind of loves it, actually, because he’s realizing it’s both equally frustrating and fun to have a little mini-me. “It’s not that. But I-” Sion’s not sure how to word this. “How would you feel if Appa… if I had a special friend?”


Sion realizes he said that poorly as Megumi blinks into his cheek. “What’s a special friend?”


“Um. Like… like if I was dating someone…” Sion inhales; exhales. “Kind of like a girlfriend?”


Sion has never really expected Megumi to take that news well, to tell you the truth, because they’re codependent and not even Riku could change that. Megumi makes a confused little noise and then she pulls away to ask: “You’re dating someone?”


Sion can’t really tell what her tone means. So he says: “Maybe. I’m thinking about it.”


For several moments she says absolutely nothing. And then: “I…” Megumi makes another confused noise and then she huffs, squeezing back into Sion’s neck. “I don’t like that. I don’t want a mom…”


Sion squeezes her back. “You wouldn’t have a mom.”


But she only squeezes tighter. “I don’t wanna share Appa with anyone…”


Sion sighs, petting down her back. He’s not really discouraged by this reaction because he’s pretty sure Megumi would make a lot of exceptions for Riku that she wouldn’t make for anyone else. But still, Sion knows how carefully he has to tread here. Megumi is a sensitive kid and she needs him because she doesn’t have anyone else and even despite Sion’s feelings, he will always put her first. Nothing in the world could change that.


“You don’t have to share me with anyone,” Sion hugs her tight. “I’m always gonna be your Appa. I’m never gonna-” Sion inhales. “Do you remember anything about your mom, Gumi?”


For a second, she stills. But then Megumi shakes her head. “Not really… but you’d- you’d yell at each other.” Her voice is low. “I don’t want to hear you yell, Appa.”


Sion just pets down her back. His hand is slow, careful, soothing, petting her the same way he has since Megumi was an infant and the smallest little thing he’s ever held in his hands. “I wouldn’t yell. It wouldn’t be like how things were with your mom. It’d be… it’d be really different.”


Maybe this isn’t the right time to be having this conversation. But Megumi is sleepy, yawning, and she grumbles a little as she slots her face into his neck. “But still. I don’t…” She makes a disgruntled noise. “I don’t know. I don’t like it.”


So that’s a bit of a mixed reaction, huh, but Sion can accept that much for now. It’s just important that she knows the possibility is out there, especially since they still have a few months until the school year’s done and Sion’s not formally introducing her and Riku until he isn’t her teacher anymore. So it’s… this can be a work in progress. And if Sion needs to give her more time, that’s fine too, right?


Again, Sion can be patient. He just needs his kid to know that it doesn’t have to be just them forever, for better or for worse, because Sion’s accepting now that he’s someone beyond a dad. He has his own wants and needs, too, and he kind of needs Riku. 


So:


“Okay,” Sion hums. “It’s alright. You don’t have to share Appa with anyone.” He kisses Megumi on the top of her head. “You’ve always had me, baby. That’s never going to change.”


Megumi hums back. She yawns. “Yeah. Just be mine, Appa…”


Sion smiles a tired thing as she finally drifts off into sleep. He can’t tell just how seriously Megumi takes him when he talks about big life stuff - besides them moving around Sion has kept things as consistent for her as he possibly can. And he will, still, he just thinks Megumi could benefit from seeing him and Riku being more lovey-dovey. And in the same way, Riku could be even closer with her. More like… he could be closer to a… well. 


It’s hard to say. Sion squeezes Megumi in close and smiles. He wouldn’t be her parent, but if Riku wants to, he could be something similar. Like a mom-dad-parent but leaning way, way, way to the left…


For once, everything is calm and peaceful and quiet; eventually Sion drifts off, too. He expected to be a little unsettled after a day like today but he dreams of warm hands, a familiar mouth, his favorite kitty-cat face in the world. “Hyung,” Riku says in his dream. “You love me, don’t you?”


It’s wonderful. And in his dream, Sion can say it. “I do, Riku,” he smiles. “I really love you.”