CHAPTER FOUR
It’s two weeks after the field trip to the zoo when Riku finally realizes that he is maybe flying a little too close to the sun with the Sion Thing. It’s just a feeling he’s starting to have after he’s spent a couple blissful weeks texting back and forth with Sion himself, especially since Riku’s having way too much fun seeing how far he can take the flirting and the teasing and the questions and- and all of it, really.
It’s just hard not to push when Sion’s so reciprocative to him, you know? He gives back as good as he gets every single time. And while Riku is aware of both the ethical and professional ramifications of all of this - or at least he tells himself that he is - he’s also just… well.
He just really likes Sion a lot. Like, holy shit.
Riku’s fresh out of the shower when his phone buzzes on his nightstand. He may or may not have set Sion’s incoming text messages to a very specific little ding, so he snatches his phone up as soon as he hears it. There are a few texts waiting for him on LINE - the first is a photo of an ice cream cone being held in a familiar hand. And then a short text follows: I think I’m going crazy. I have to stop letting Megumi trick me into getting her this shit.
Riku smiles a little because at this point he’s pretty sure that Megumi manages to coerce Sion into getting her ice cream basically every single day, or at least that’s what it seems given his consistent texts from the convenience store. But before he can even respond there comes a second photo. This time it’s the same hand and the same ice cream except a Megumi-sized bite has been taken out of it; there’s a blurred, suspiciously familiar head of hair in the corner of the shot.
This time the text says: I was gonna offer you some but you’ll never guess what just happened.
Riku already knew he was whipped - he’s never calm when he’s crushing on someone, not even when he tries to be - but this time it’s just… it’s different. It’s different with Sion. There’s this weird warmth in his chest that makes him feel so, so giddy whenever Sion texts him, and if Riku weren’t so shoujo obsessed maybe he’d be a little more ashamed about it. But Riku’s not ashamed, is the thing. He’s not ashamed at all. And maybe that’s the fucking issue. Riku loves it, the texting and the flirting and the coy little messages they pass back and forth, and so he flops down onto bed with his phone in hand while kicking his feet in the air like the schoolgirl he spiritually identifies as.
It’s bad. Riku’s grin is a little too wide as he types back: It’s fine. I can get my own…
And, well. He doesn’t exactly mean for it to come off as so petulant. Or tsundere, for that matter. But the teasing is new and he’s still testing the waters because he’s still really not sure when Sion will decide to put up a wall. There are times that Riku asks something innocent and Sion backs off faster than Riku can even react, and that’s just- it’s a little frustrating. Fair, but still frustrating. Riku still can’t tell what exactly is too much. Not yet.
But this is what Sion responds with: No way. I’ll buy one for you.
Riku has to bury his face in his pillow so he can scream. Just a little scream, you know, a very manly KYAAAAAA that echoes in his bedroom and makes the auntie next door slam something against their shared wall because his self control is dead and abandoned in a ditch somewhere.
“Oi, Maeda, quiet!” Oops.
“Sorry, Oba-san…” Riku calls his apology back and meekly buries back into his pillow. He doesn’t even mean to break out into hysterics, okay, but it’s not his fault that Sion is just so... ugh. He’s so cute. Because they only say those things to each other, like, hypothetically. Right? The sharing food and whatnot, all of it. But Sion always comes off as so pointedly sincere. It makes Riku want to slam his head into something just so he can finally chill the fuck out.
Except that’s when he sits up too fast in bed and accidentally bangs his head into his headboard. Riku whimpers. “Ow...”
(The auntie next door slams her fist against the wall again. Okay, that one was definitely deserved.)
It’s just hard not to feel, like, incredibly excited. Riku knows for a fact that Sion is super into him, and even if he didn’t have Sakuya’s confirmation, Sion’s reciprocation to the flirting and teasing would make it obvious. And that is- it’s just kind of crazy. Sion can be a little closed off when they talk face to face but over text he is a tad bit bolder, less cagey, much more straight-forward. So Riku’s having a hard time not swooning over every text and every look and every casual touch. Sion’s so his type, you know. He’s older, bigger in most ways, very kind but with this authoritative streak to him that only leaks out when he wants it to. Like when he’s disciplining his kid or particularly adamant about something. And maybe that makes Riku a pervert. Maybe. But a part of him wants to stretch Sion’s usual neverending patience out and see at what point he snaps…
Or. Well. Theoretically. All they’re doing is flirting and Riku’s not going to get ahead of himself just yet. Though he’s very close to getting ahead of himself. Oops.
Riku goes back to his text chat with Sion and tries to think of something to say. He didn’t exactly mean for things to get flirtatious between them so quickly, he swears, but on the field trip they were just so- ugh. It’s not Riku’s fault. He swears. It’s just that Sion certainly didn’t seem to mind the proximity, did he; he was so reactive. Riku can’t help the fact that he’s curious to see what would happen if he were to push more. So he stares down at his phone and he thinks.
You’re my hero, hehe. No, that’s too much. Ooh, ice cream from such a handsome guy? No, that’s doing far too much. Well, if you insist…
Eh. That’s good enough.
Riku sends the text and turns his phone off, setting it to the side. The kids and Daeyoung are supposed to come over for dinner and he’s trying his best to not make all of their hangouts into Sion Talk, although that’s more of a losing battle these days. It’s honestly pretty bad for him. Sion is all he really wants to talk about and the three of them are coming over knowing that Riku will most likely derail whatever they’re discussing into theorizing about the hot dad he’s crushing on.
But just to be fair, he had even warned them over text: MY LOVE LIFE IS GOING AMAZING ♡
The responses he got in return were a little less enthusiastic. Good for you, Nii-chan (Sakuya). Okay, sure (Ryo). What about my love life ? (That was Daeyoung).
And, well. Riku has plenty of things to say about Kim Daeyoung’s love life, namely in the what-the-fuck-are-you-doing category. But alas.
Riku sends a few idle messages back and forth with Sion while he waits for the others to arrive, which is half because he’s obsessed and half because talking to him is incredibly interesting even just from, like, a teacher’s perspective. Riku’s never been so close with a parent before and he’s fascinated by how Sion does pretty much the same exact thing every single day. He drops Megumi off at school, works, picks Megumi up, feeds her, plays with her, puts her to sleep. He’s so consistent. Which is, like, duh, every parent should be consistent. But pretty much everyday like clockwork they’re talking about the same things; they’re sending the same photos; they’re sharing the same things over and over again. Riku tries to be mindful of Sion’s exhaustion as a solo parent, of course, he’s not delusional enough to think he’d be able to survive raising a kid like Megumi on his own. Oh Sion is basically operating on a superhuman level all by his lonesome, that’s just a fact. But sometimes it’s hard not to bother him incessantly because Riku wants to ask more questions, find out all there is to know, burrow his way under the surface level where Sion is just a dad and little else…
The routine he has is so specific. Riku wants to be a part of it. Or he wants to interrupt it, at least, more than he already has. Which is something he’s contending with. Sion is a very intriguing man to talk to but it also takes a great deal of effort to get him to open up. Or at least it takes a lot for him to talk about literally anything besides Megumi - considering that Sion evades questions about himself like the plague, that is - and even when he does talk about himself, Sion usually gives stilted answers like he doesn’t even know what to say. Which is… difficult to work with, to say the least.
It’s really- it’s a little annoying. Riku’s sure got his work cut out for him, huh.
But that is a problem for the Riku of tomorrow. It’s nearing eight when his doorbell buzzes, and so Riku puts his phone down and goes to answer it. It’s Daeyoung, though Sakuya and Ryo are preemptively smiling on either side of him like overeager twin babies. Riku raises an eyebrow at the three troublemakers on his doorstep and can’t help but ask: “Were you guys hanging out without me?” The suspicion in his voice is heavy but that’s inevitable. For all of them to show up at once is a little…
“No,” Daeyoung smiles something very nervous.
“Yup,” Sakuya doesn’t even bother hiding it. “We were getting food.”
Of course they push past him into the apartment. There are essentially no boundaries in this family, which is fine, but they could at least try to act apologetic about it. And yet Ryo tries holding up a huge bag of takeout in appeasement. “Look, we brought you some!”
Riku’s not so easily dissuaded. His bottom lip juts out. “Why’d you hang out without me…”
“We were bonding,” Sakuya corrects, which is annoying of him. He pulls Riku to the dining table. “Come on, Nii-chan, eat.”
Riku sits down a little wearily but that’s only because he’s a tiny bit hurt they scheduled an excursion without him. Normally it’d be fine but he’s just a little bitter recently, okay, because he’s Sion-obsessed and he’s aware that it’s making him slightly less fun to hang around. He tears open a pair of disposable chopsticks and asks, the jealousy clear in his voice: “Why were you bonding without me?” He tries not to pout and fails. “It’s not nice to exclude your Nii-chan…”
“Daeyoung was just tutoring us. He’s better at math than we are,” Sakuya supplies easily. He’s a terrible liar, so that at least must be true. “I don’t think you would’ve been much help, to be honest.”
“You mean, he’s better than you. Not me.” Ryo has to pipe in because he’s a know-it-all, of course. Then he grins when Sakuya sends him a dirty look. “Hey, it’s true!”
Sakuya’s eyes narrow and he bites out: “Since when did I ask whether you were-”
“You’re both great at math,” Daeyoung placates immediately, cutting them off before they can break into any real bickering. He’s easy-going about it, enough for Riku to not be too upset, albeit barely. Daeyoung tells him: “They needed some tutoring and you wanted to relax after work, so.”
Riku bites his lip. Unfortunately Daeyoung has a point there - Riku hates seeing people unless he’s had his post-work nap and not even his babies are an exception to that. He almost says something unsavory but waiting for him in the bag of food is a gigantic bowl of ramen and Riku is, unfortunately, very appeased by this.
So:
“Okay, fine,” Riku decides. “But don’t hurt my feelings again.”
All three of them bow their heads in penance, which at least makes Riku’s lips flicker into a smile at their morose voices: “Yes, Sensei.”
The night is normal enough. Sion’s not actively texting him, but he normally doesn’t around this time because they’re in the hours leading up to Megumi’s bedtime and that’s usually when he’s giving her his full attention. Which Riku is not going to complain about. Obviously. Megumi is seven and he’s twenty-nine. But god, he wants Sion’s attention too. Is that a crime?
But of course the kids latch onto his mood immediately: “You were texting him, huh.” Daeyoung is able to figure him out with next to no effort.
Sakuya nods. “You’ve got a glow about you.”
Riku can’t help his grin. “I do, don’t I?” He knows he has the tendency to see the world through rose-colored glasses whenever his love life gets exciting but he can’t help it. Something about Sion is unlike all the other people he’s crushed on before. Riku just feels so happy that they make time to text each other throughout the day because Sion’s so reciprocative of everything he says, even when Riku assaults him with the nonstop questions…
Ugh. He’s so cool. And also good-looking and nice and kind and great with kids and sweet to everyone of all ages and selfless and-
Daeyoung’s voice is low, cautious: “But all you’re doing is texting…”
Riku kicks at him under the table. “Shut up.”
He doesn’t want their judgement; they’re children, they don’t know anything. Sion’s a single dad. He can’t openly court his kid’s teacher. Or at least that’s how Riku is choosing to look at it because he doesn’t actually know how Sion’s feeling about their secret texting-thing. Would he want to date Riku? Riku can’t say for sure, not yet, but he hopes so. Oh Sion doesn’t exactly seem like someone who does things casually. Though maybe with the kid that’d be easier…
Hm. Well Riku, at least, is looking for something serious. If he had any say in the matter Sion and him would be tying the knot come spring. But alas. That would be a terrible idea in reality. Or at least he tells himself that just to keep the fantasies satiated.
So.
Ryo, as usual, is busy tapping around on his phone. But recently he’s been a little more interested in Riku’s Sion Problems than usual, which is probably why he says: “Sion-san has been kinda happy recently, hasn’t he?” Riku is half-distracted watching him scroll his Twitter timeline at an inhuman speed so it takes a second for the words to even register. “Saku and I were over there last night and he was all giddy.”
“He was?!” Riku is a normal man so he doesn’t do anything crazy in reaction, or at least nothing besides sit up in his seat and overexcitedly slam his hands down on the table. It’s hard enough to make everything rattle, which is an accident. But, like, he’s being so normal about it.
Sakuya sends him a wary look. “Yeah, but that also could’ve been because Gumi’s warmed up to Ryo now…”
Ryo nods something satisfied. “I get to be a Nii-chan, too.”
Riku, as Megumi’s teacher, is impressed by that. Because any progress with Megumi is good progress. But this is what he’s much more invested in: “W-what about his phone! Was he-” Wow, Riku really can’t think of a sane way to word this. So he asks a little too eagerly: “Did he seem super into his phone?”
All three of them give him weird looks with varying levels of judgement. Sakuya is the one who is brave enough to answer very, very slowly: “Well. Maybe…”
Except Ryo scratches at his cheek and pulls a face. “I dunno about that. I was more busy beating Megumi in Mario Party.”
Sakuya looks over at him. “Actually, she kicked your-”
“Saku, don’t fucking try it.”
But Riku is on another plane of existence. All the hesitation in their voices aside, he’s choosing to take this as a win. Sion’s invested in his phone, huh? At least a little bit? That’s because of him, right? Right?! It has to be! They text all the time! Outside of work hours, yeah, but otherwise all the time!
Riku catches Daeyoung’s eye from across the table, who looks away upon their gazes meeting. His ears are red. Riku can practically smell a secret from all the way over here because Daeyoung never looks like that unless he’s hiding something. And so Riku prods: “What is it, spill.”
“No way,” Daeyoung bristles. “You’ve gotten so much information from these two already…”
“Hey,” Sakuya complains.
“Yeah, well, it’s more fun that way,” Ryo defends himself.
But Riku’s too busy glaring daggers at his best friend. Sometimes he wishes he could shrink down really small and crawl into Daeyoung’s ear canal so he could get inside his brain and read everything he’s thinking. Kim Daeyoung isn’t a particularly mysterious person but he believes so deeply in fairness, such as not exposing whatever he’s found out about Oh Sion. And normally Riku would be in agreement with that, the whole let’s-focus-on-our-own-agency-and-mind-our-business thing, but right now not so much. Riku needs to know everything.
“Kim Daeyoung, you bastard,” Riku chomps down on a bite of ramen with a glare. “Come on, we’re besties.”
“Well, I’ve been told things in confidence.” Daeyoung wavers but only a little bit as his shoulders tense up to his ears like a petulant little puppy. “Unlike some people at this table”—Sakuya gapes at him and Ryo rolls his eyes—”at least I understand the sanctity of keeping secrets.”
“Bullshit,” Riku accuses. The kids both put their hands over their ears and Riku glares at them, too. “Oi, stop doing bits. But you-” He points right at Daeyoung. “You tell me everything. What, did you hear something from Tokuno?”
Bingo. Daeyoung’s ears turn red and there’s sweat beading along his forehead. So that’s what it is. Riku heard they exchanged phone numbers but now they’re exchanging secrets, too? Daeyoung only attempts: “Well. He’s also under confidence…”
“No, he’s not,” Sakuya says in a flat voice. “He’s telling Sion everything as we speak.”
“W-what! No way!” Daeyoung wheels around on him. “How-! W-we were just sharing information-!”
“Yushi-nii is only loyal to Sion,” Sakuya deadpans. “You can believe all you want, but unless he really likes you, everything he hears is going right to Sion hyung.”
Riku… doesn’t know how to feel about that. But that’s because he tells Daeyoung everything and if Daeyoung told Yushi everything, then- ugh. Riku stares at his best friend, something between a frown and a look of staunch disapproval. “Kim Daeyoung, did you tell your crush my deepest, darkest secrets?”
“I didn’t,” Daeyoung pouts. And then: “Don’t call your crush on Sion a secret. Everyone knows about it already.”
That gets snickers from the two kids. And Riku is slightly miffed, of course, but it’s not like he can deny that. He’s pretty sure the other parents know, too. Sachiko gave him a loaded look the other day and Riku wasn’t under the impression it was because Maku’s grades are still the best in the whole class. It was more curious, more…
Oh, wait. Sion and Sachiko are probably friends now, right? God, that’s worse.
Riku runs a hand down his face. Because okay, sure, maybe he could’ve been a little more low key about things. That’s definitely true. On the field trip he wasn’t subtle nor has he been subtle in the two weeks since then because every morning and every afternoon he stands there and expectantly stares at the classroom door until Sion walks in. That’s true.
But, like. Can you blame him? It’s Sion.
“Okay. Okay, well, what’d you tell him,” Riku isn’t pouting but he’s thinking about it. He takes another few bites of his ramen. “It wasn’t anything explicit, right.” He only asks because Ryo and Sakuya are here.
“No…” Daeyoung sighs like this pains him to say. But then he finally admits: “I only told Tokuno-san that you wanted to make moves. And that you’re, like, in love with Sion-san.”
And, well. That is- Riku’s face goes red. Sakuya snorts. Ryo laughs, like, openly.
“I- I’m not in love with him,” Riku attempts to no avail. “I just like him. Like, like-like him.”
That makes Ryo burst into even more laughter. “What are you, seven?”
“S-shut up!” Riku tries to defend himself and fails spectacularly. Teaching elementary schoolers has started to rot his brain for real but it’s fucking true, isn’t it. But when Sakuya also laughs, Riku wails as his chopsticks clatter down against the table: “Stop it! I’m serious!”
“Okay, but I mean…” Daeyoung sends him a look. “You’re a little in love with him.” The other two don’t stop laughing. They are terrible, naughty, unruly boys. Riku is so telling Auntie about their misbehavior.
“H-How could I be in love with him!” Riku’s sweating a little with indignation because he doesn’t like that his friends can see right through him. Maeda Riku is a little prone to falling fast, sure. And maybe he’s already planned out a lifetime with Oh Sion in his diary, maybe. But only maybe. He hasn’t put any thought to if they’d have three kids or only two, that’s pretty chill by his standards.
“I think you are,” Sakuya grins, because he is a terrible little boy and Riku should’ve dropped him on his head when he was a baby.
“It usually takes nothing,” Ryo points out. He’s even worse.
But Riku still insists: “I’m not-! I just think he’s good-looking and very nice and he’s good with his kid-! And he’d be a really good life partner-!” He has to take in a deep breath even as the two kids snicker at him. Riku is almost wailing: “I don’t-”
“I mean, I don’t think you have anything to worry about anyway,” Daeyoung says. His face is a little pained: “I wasn’t gonna tell you, but if Tokuno’s telling Sion-san…”
Riku leans in closer. He’s so desperate to know what Yushi said that he could die and also he’s, like, not breathing. “Yes…?”
“He said Sion’s trying to dress nicer. And he asks Tokuno-san for help to text you, sometimes.” Daeyoung’s making an expression like it doesn’t please him to tell Riku this information. “And apparently Sion-san hasn’t dated anyone since his divorce but he’s really interested in you…”
“Really?!” Riku’s smiling so hard his face could fall off and he’s also feeling vaguely crazed. Which, okay, isn’t anything out of character. But still: “He’s like that?! Over me?!”
“Well, who else,” Daeyoung says. He smiles but it’s a weary thing. “Riku, I just don’t want you to get too excited when you haven’t even gone out with him yet-”
“I’m not too excited!” Riku says, because he isn’t, he’s just wondering if Sion would prefer their wedding theme to be something cool and casual like blue and yellow or classy like black and white. “I’m- I barely even care!”
The three children in his home stare back at him like he’s crazy. Which is maybe fair. Maybe. But considering Riku’s history, this is probably the calmest he’s ever been about someone liking him back. There was Rei in high school. She was not impressed by his shoujo collection, nor his fascination with tropes. Riku has a natural inclination to be very passionate about romance and despite attempting to tone it down over the years, he can only be so indifferent…
So he clears his throat and averts his eyes down to the ground. “Okay, well. I can be calm.”
Daeyoung grins. Unfortunately enough for Riku, this boy has been privy to the majority of his romantic endeavors. Sometimes he wonders if he would’ve been better off not taking Daeyoung under his wing when the kid was still in undergrad and Riku was helping with early childhood education internships, only to be enchanted by the tall teacher’s pet who was in a perpetual closet made of glass with the good-boy puppy-like smile on his face to match. But it’s too late for regrets now. Daeyoung knows this as well as Riku does: this wouldn’t be the first time he’s felt this way about someone, but it’s certainly the first time he’s certain about the intensity of their feelings matching. That’s why Riku hasn’t let himself really fall for someone in years and years; he knows his tendency to fall head over heels, so he tries not to let himself get too invested in people. Yes, even when they’re his type. There’s a moderately-sized list of men back in Tokyo that courted him only for them to later backpedal or treat him poorly, so...
Ugh. No, Riku’s track record isn’t something he’s proud of. Like, at all. If anything, romance is his biggest downfall as a functioning adult, which is something he takes no pride in as a shoujo-obsessed otaku. It saddens him deeply. But Sion is a whole different monster, okay? He’s Riku’s type to a T and he reciprocates everything and it’s just a little hard to keep logic in mind when someone that nice and good-looking is into you. It is!
So Daeyoung reaches across the table and pats Riku on the hand. “It’s okay. He really likes you, too, so maybe you just need to focus on… um…”
“You could try actually asking him out,” Sakuya offers. He snatches an onigiri from the takeout bag and takes a gigantic bite out of it. Though when Riku sends him a glare, Sakuya balks: “What?”
“I want him to ask me out,” Riku says stiffly, which he knows is a little hypocritical, but still. He doesn’t mind doing a little chasing if he’s sure the feelings are mutual, but that would be ignoring all the work he’s done thus far. He made the first move, didn’t he? And Sion clearly has a lot of hangups. Riku has a hard time parsing out when he’s coming on too strong, let alone when it’d be safe to ask him out. He doesn’t want to be too presumptuous even though this whole time he’s been… pretty presumptuous.
But Sion’s the one who’s a few years post-divorce with the kid, isn’t he? Riku isn’t exactly in the position to go out on a limb and ask the guy out when he can’t even tell what Sion’s thinking half the time. Plus with the ethical complications… that’s a whole other thing. What they’re doing is mildly unprofessional - or maybe really unprofessional - but it’s not like Riku doesn’t already play favorites with Megumi anyway.
She’s really been warming up to him recently and Riku’s eagerness to reciprocate only has a tiny bit to do with his crush on her dad, honest to god. Most of it is because Megumi is a little angel. Seriously!
But of course Kim Daeyoung is the one to cut right through all of Riku’s fantasies of Oh Sion professing his love to him, because the asshole tells him in a flat voice: “Tokuno said that if you want Sion to ask you out, you’ll be waiting until Gumi goes to college.” Then Daeyoung, too, snatches an onigiri and unwraps it with ease. “So you have to do it. Or you could seduce him, I guess.”
Ugh. That makes the kids snicker though Riku pouts because, like, hell. Sion’s history and single parenting issues aside, is it so bad that Riku wants to be pursued? Sion’s a gentleman, it’d be nice if he did the work. Riku wants to be earnestly courted like anyone who grew up reading manga meant for fourteen year-old girls. He wants to be wooed and that doesn’t involve doing the asking-out. So he’s gonna have to- he’s gonna have to figure out something.
“Well. I’m not terrible at seduction." Riku’s ears are bright red as he returns to his ramen. He slurps it down and tries to ignore the exasperated looks they’re all giving him. Because hey, Riku’s being serious. He wants to be earnestly courted by a hot dad. Isn’t that a fantasy for basically everyone? Maybe Sion could be broken down if Riku were to only turn things up a notch…
“I guess,” Daeyoung’s smile is wearier now, but as usual, he’s a supportive best friend. That’s why Riku keeps him around, you know, because Kim Daeyoung is always an enabler once it comes down to it. But he still cautions: “Just be careful, okay? It sounds like Sion-san has a lot going on.”
“I know.” Riku huffs a little bit just, like, on principle. He’s Megumi’s homeroom teacher, he could take at least an educated guess that Oh Sion leads a very stressful life. But you still can’t fault a guy for trying. He’s willing to be patient if needed. Riku can leave the trail of breadcrumbs and slowly wait for Sion to come to him… or, you know. Something like that.
Riku doesn’t want to push too far. He wants to be someone who Sion decides to trust. That’s why he’s not in a hurry even though he wants to be. Someone who struggles to talk about themself like Sion does isn’t someone who goes around dating all willy-nilly and not even Riku is going to rush what he considers to be perfection. Oh Sion is a good guy. He’s someone worth waiting for, Riku thinks, because a dad who worries over their daughter like that is pretty much a once-in-a-lifetime man.
So, you know. Riku can be good. He can be chill.
(Or, well. At least he thinks he can…)
Daeyoung sends him a look like he doesn’t believe a word Riku says, and yet he still changes the subject. “Okay, if you’re sure. Then do you wanna hear about how things are with Tokuno-san?”
Riku takes another bite of ramen and nods. “Tell me everything.”
It’s fine. Riku is on his best behavior because he doesn’t talk about Sion for the rest of the night. Or at least not really. He’s heavily invested in Daeyoung’s own Yushi Problems anyway. Apparently Tomuno-san is a very heavy flirt. They’ve been texting and they went out for drinks once but allegedly nothing happened. Yushi is even touchy with Daeyoung, which is... wow. Riku would be jealous if he weren’t pretty sure that Tokuno Yushi would be a very difficult person to date.
“I think it’d be more casual, actually…” Daeyoung seems neutral about that, at least. Despite his good-boy attitude about most things it’s not like he’s someone who turns down consistent, casual sex. And while he’s editing his words for the presence of the kids, that doesn’t mean his ears aren’t red. “I mean. It’s fine to make friends, anyway, right?”
“Maybe…” Riku can’t help but be a little apprehensive. Daeyoung may not mind hooking up with people, but if it was anything long term, there’s pretty much a one hundred percent chance that he ends up falling for Yushi face-first.
And Yushi is… maybe not the most receptive person ever…
“It’s just nice to talk to someone besides you,” Daeyoung says. “No offense.” And, well, Riku’s a little offended by the fact that his best friend makes a point to say that. But Daeyoung smiles when Riku shoots him a judgey look. “Listen, I had seen him around, but I didn’t realize he was also…”
Daeyoung trails off, sending a glance at Sakuya, who’s on his phone. “I’m not stupid. I know you’re talking about sex,” Sakuya drawls. “But I already knew he was gay.” And when they just stare at him, Sakuya elaborates: “Come on, I have eyes.” And, well.
“I’m just being cautious,” Daeyoung puts his hands up in surrender. “Better safe than sorry!”
The kids hang around for a while. Riku’s pretty exhausted on weekdays but he could use the company. Ryo ends up taking over the TV as he and Sakuya put on some new anime they’ve been binging. Riku and Daeyoung talk about work, the kids at work, Yushi, pretty much everything. Riku always figured Daeyoung’s plan would be to get some experience in Kyoto and then fly back to Tokyo or even go back to Korea. But the way he’s talking nowadays makes it seem like he’s here for the long haul.
“You’re really renewing your lease?” Riku can’t help but sigh. “Daeyoung. Come on. I want you to use your wings and fly…”
“I don’t know why you think I’m miserable here,” Daeyoung only pouts the tiniest bit. “I mean, the job is fun. And you’re here!”
And, okay, sure. Riku’s endeared by that, of course he is. But still. “What about your parents?”
“I could leave to go join the family business whenever I wanted to. If I tried working back in Daegu they’d lure me onto a boat and you’d never see me again.” Daeyoung takes a long sip of tea and smiles. “Don’t act like you’re holding me hostage here. Just because it’s not exciting doesn’t mean I don’t like it.”
Riku huffs out an exasperated noise. He just doesn’t quite get it. The pay is pretty mediocre for teachers all throughout East Asia but at least the starting wages are actually liveable in Korea, never mind that the general conditions for foreigners in Japan are worse than any gig Daeyoung could land in Seoul. But whenever Riku points this out, the kid goes off on some tirade about life experiences and what-not. Maybe he really is terrified of being stuck on a fishing boat. Which is fair. Riku just has a hard time imagining that Daeyoung wouldn’t be able to get a job basically anywhere. He’s got the personality for it, the good-boy face and sweet lilt to his voice and teaching cadence and everything.
But it’s just- ugh. Daeyoung can be plenty stubborn when he really wants to be, especially when it comes to job things. It’s annoying but Riku certainly can’t tell him what to do. And he’s definitely not complaining about them sticking together for the next year, at least…
So Riku concedes: “Alright, it’s your choice. If you’re good with-” He makes a vague hand gesture at the rundown apartment around them, the kids shouting at the TV. “I just want you to know that if you let the countryside suck you in, you’re gonna be stuck here forever.”
Daeyoung only smiles. “Yeah, well. Then we’re stuck together.”
And, really, Riku can’t deny him that. So.
It’s not too late when everyone leaves - it’s only eleven or so - but even then, Riku’s tired. He wakes up way earlier than he should to get to school before all the kids do and it’s just- he’s tired. Daeyoung offers to drive the kids home, which they attempt to turn down, but then he stands up to his full height with the kindest of smiles and tells them in a low voice: “No, really. Get in the car.”
So, you know. Daeyoung’s got them handled.
Riku locks the door behind them and sighs a little as he stands in the genkan. His apartment really is worn down but he never gives much thought to it. His life is busy and this place is good enough in most ways; it gives him a place to sleep, to eat, for the kids to barge in and make their mess everywhere. Sometimes he considers looking at some of the houses out on the edge of town but they would need work to make them liveable. They’re cheap, but Riku’s not exactly a handyman or anything…
Though of course that makes his mind flit to Sion. Of course it does; he’s hopeless. A smile fights its way onto Riku’s face. He’s so- it’s just funny. God, he likes that man way too much.
Riku is quick to shut his apartment down for the night. He turns off the lights in the kitchen and living room and makes his way back to his bedroom. He shakes his slippers off, plops into bed with a little “oof.” He missed a few texts from Sion while the kids were over. There’s one about Megumi, another about Megumi, a third… that’s about Megumi too…
Riku smiles. Oh Sion is really, really horrible at talking about himself. He goes to their chat box and types: Are you still up, oji-san?
A reply comes surprisingly fast: Since when was I oji-san.
Of course that’s what he’s offended by. Riku rolls onto his belly and types absentmindedly at his keyboard. You’re five years older than me and I’m already an uncle~ So what are you? Hehe.
He’s being a little too coy, he knows, but Sion is easy to tease. And he’s always surprisingly witty in return. In real life Sion has the tendency to get so flustered about everything but over text he’s- he’s more forward. More honest. Sion’s honesty is maybe Riku’s favorite thing about him. It’s not often you come across someone who truly means everything they say.
I’ve been a dad since I was twenty-six, comes Sion’s reply, I need some more time before I’m an uncle, too.
Riku smiles. Sion’s so sincere, huh. Sometimes he wonders if the older man even realizes that. When Sion’s not directly dealing with Megumi he sometimes puts on this stoic face, but it melts away so easily. Riku’s not delusional enough to think that’s his doing. But it’d be nice if it was, huh. It’d be nice if he could crawl just a little bit under that frantic exterior and see how deep that self-consciousness goes…
Okay, then I’ll go easy on you, Sion-san. Riku bites at his lip as he types. You’re so young! And full of energy!
Don’t tease me. I don’t know how people in their 40s are having kids, this is a nightmare. Riku can almost imagine Sion’s face. I don’t have the energy to keep up with her. I want to nap all the time…
Riku grins. Megumi is so lethargic tho?
The response comes immediately. Yeah, I know. That’s why it’s embarrassing.
Riku’s smile is way too fond. He can’t help it. Sion mentioned before that he doesn’t often get told he’s good with Megumi but he can’t comprehend why. All of his energy goes towards her. He’s clearly always worrying about her, too, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure that Sion is probably as attentive as a parent can get. Which is admirable, yeah, but it’s also a little…
Among all the parents I see, you’re the sleepiest. Riku hopes that doesn’t come across as mean. But it’s true anyway.
Except Sion only says: Yeah, cause I’m by myself. And then: Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just harder doing it alone haha.
And Sion has this… it’s almost this self-deprecating way of speaking. It’s something Riku has noticed over these past two weeks. He minimizes everything he does regarding Megumi with a lot of “haha”s and “lol”s. It’s curious. Sion reduces his own parenting skills even though Riku shouldn’t even have-
Riku types: Sorry, I didn’t mean that… Because he didn’t. He doesn’t like it, either, the way Sion acts like he’s not even a good parent. He’s too nice to Riku, not nice enough to himself. That doesn’t take a genius to figure out, either.
Sion replies: It’s okay. It’s just funny. Sometimes I wish there were two of me and then I remember that usually there is.
Riku’s smile goes flat. Sometimes their conversations reach this point and he never quite knows what to say. Sion’s never actually talked about the divorce before. Riku doesn’t expect him to, either. But he can see that it weighs on him heavily; Megumi’s so curt about moms when they get brought up. “Mothers,” she calls them. Riku’s never heard a seven year old say the word “mother” in that tone. That kind of bitterness in a kid as young as Megumi doesn’t come from nowhere.
Riku doesn’t want to say anything that makes it worse. Sorry :(
But again, Sion’s too nice. If Riku were put in his position, he doesn’t think he’d be so nice about it. It’s fine. Really. I’m just tired. But it’s alright because she’s safe and she’s healthy. She’s sleeping in my shirt rn.
And that- that derails the somber mood from before. Riku blinks, confused. IN your shirt?
Megumi’s a weird kid, what can I say. Then comes a picture.
It’s dark, blurry. They must be in a bedroom. But under Sion’s shirt there is a wide, worn-out neckhole and what looks like a familiar head of black hair. Then under his shirt is a whole mass of kid stretching the fabric out even more. Riku blinks. Megumi is really- she’s clingy even to that extent? She sleeps in his shirt…?
Oh my god, Riku types. That’s so funny. Sorry. And really cute.
Well, just be glad she doesn’t do this with you, Sion says. But also if she was like this with anyone else I’d be so upset that I would die.
That makes Riku smile again, albeit this time slightly more subdued. It’s rare to come across a solo parent like Sion who cares to the extent he does. And it sucks that it’s a rare thing, but it just is. A lot of single parents are more career-oriented. Or bitter over their exes. Riku wonders where Sion lies on that scale. It’s hard to imagine him as a resentful person. But he’s also…
Hm. He really doesn’t do much besides care for Megumi. So it’s impossible to say. But Riku would like to learn, one day, Sion’s secrets. If he’s allowed to.
So Riku assures him: Of course she’s only like that with you~
Really? Are you sure she doesn’t do this to you at school? Sion’s reply comes off as so jealous, which is funny, because it’s not like Megumi cares about anyone like she cares about her Appa.
So Riku chuckles. I’m sure. Why?? Jealous????
Very jealous, comes the reply. You’re so good with her. I’m super jealous.
And that is… that makes Riku blink. The tone of that text feels slightly different. For a second he can’t figure out if Sion’s talking about him or Megumi. So Riku types back: Sion-san, do you want me to be good to you too?
That’s so- it’s so presumptuous, maybe. But he can’t help it. Sion’s a little too earnest in just the cutest way and he’s such a bad liar to boot. Riku wants to know what he’d say. He wants to get under the surface level. He wants to crawl into Sion’s ear canal and read his mind. He wants to- does Sion only like him because he’s good with Megumi? Or is it something else?
Except the response Riku gets in return is so sincere that it almost aches: Maybe. And then: You’re just too nice to me, Sensei.
Oh, god. It kinda hurts how Sion’s so quick to minimize himself. Riku could stand to disagree on principle, and he’d like to, because if anyone has proven themself to be good it’s definitely the single dad who came to rural Japan on the off-chance it’d help his kid come out her shell. But Riku’s not going to push if Sion’s going to get all self-deprecating- Riku doesn’t want to scare him off.
It’s my job to be nice to you. You entrust me with your kid all day lol. That’s not what Riku wants to say. Not at all. But the line between them is already blurred, right… he shouldn’t go too far over it. You’re a good guy.
It’s almost… the mood isn’t tense. Not really. But for a moment Riku gets no response and he’s a little terrified. Except a second after that Sion sends three messages in quick succession.
Haha. I guess that’s true.
And you’re so good at your job!
But I just appreciate it. Lol. Haha.
Riku is so endeared by this man that he almost aches. He’s endeared in a way he hasn’t felt for anyone else, or at least not in a really, really, really long time. Because Riku’s familiar with the older-brother-maternal feeling; he feels like that for the kids at school, for Ryo and Sakuya, and even Daeyoung to an extent. But with Sion, it’s just…
His fondness feels vast. Impossible to contain, even. Though yeah, he already knew his crush was already way too strong. But Maeda Riku can be a patient person if he really needs to be.
So:
I think I like being extra nice to you. Butttt I’m not allowed to play favorites. So keep it a secret between us, okay?
Riku sends that message and he can’t help but wonder if he’s pushing too much, too far, too fast. And yet Sion’s reply comes only a moment later: Okay. I’ll keep it a secret.
It’s silly. Riku’s feelings are so silly in the way they’re so pure, almost innocent and naive because he just likes Sion a lot and that’s all it really is. They say good night not long after that because they both have to be up early and Riku feels many, many things about the old-man LINE emoji Sion sends with his good night message. Riku knows he has the tendency to fall hard. He really does. But Sion is such a good man. He’s a good man who deserves a good partner and Riku wants to be that good partner for him.
He just- is it selfish? Well, of course it is. But Riku’s fine with being selfish. He wants to peel back those layers where Sion is an unflinchingly good father, where he lives to protect Megumi and advocate for her and not much else. What is he like beyond that? What’s he like when Megumi isn’t the topic of conversation? Tonight is the closest Riku’s ever gotten to finding out and he feels so, so giddy because he wants to find out even more.
So Riku falls asleep with his phone on his nightstand and he sleeps a wonderful, dreamless sleep. And when he wakes up, a text is already waiting for him.
Good morning, Maeda-Sensei. I can’t take Gumi to school so Yushi’s bringing her. But I still want to wish you a good day.
Riku breaks into a grin. And he’s squealing: KYAAAAA! without any fucking reservations at all. Fuck being a twenty-nine year old man, he loves romance and he thinks Sion is trying to romance him. No, he knows he is. And that’s the best part. Sion is trying to romance him and Riku is going to let him.
“OI, MAEDA-KUN, I HAVE YOUR AUNT ON SPEED DIAL,” a voice bellows.
“Sorry!” Riku calls back. But he laughs and drags his hands down his face. God, sometimes life can be such a beautiful thing.
˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖
The next few days are much the same as they always are. Riku tries to keep up the facade of normalcy but his self awareness regarding all matters having to do with Sion is up and down like a fucking rollercoaster. He knows innately that he’s falling too hard, way too fast, way too easily. But Oh Sion is a difficult man to not fall for and therein lies the issue.
It’s just impossible to act normal about the way things have progressed between them. Riku’s given up on acting suave when pick-up time comes around. He’s accepted by now that he doesn’t have a subtle bone in his body, never mind that the looks the other parents have been giving him only make him more aware of that. The only saving grace Riku really has is that the idea of homosexuality is an afterthought for most of the older generations in this country. So, really, he’s just coming off as overeager to have a friend. Or at least something adjacent to that. It’s not that weird, right? He and Sion are as close in age as it gets in this town…
(But that's worse, actually, because all of Maeda Riku’s reservations have flown out the window if he can be as blatant as he wants without causing too much of an issue. Which is- it makes him a little bit of an idiot, sure. But that’s fine.)
(Or at least that’s what he tells himself. So...)
“You used to be so good at putting on an act,” Daeyoung observes one afternoon as half the kids are fleeing out the door and the other half are being herded away by their parents. Deaeyoung leans against their shared desk and gestures vaguely at Riku’s face. “In uni you’d always act so calm and collected…”
“Yeah, well, things were different then.” Riku isn’t miffed, though that’s only because Daeyoung is the only person he has to keep his sanity in check and he tries not to be so sensitive to everything he says (which is a losing battle, but still). Riku leans back against the desk, too, and crosses his arms with only a tiny bit of indignation. “It’s different when you need to suck up to professors. And your superiors. That’s all professional acting.” Riku smiles and brings a hand to his chest. “But romance-”
“Don’t start monologuing,” Daeyoung laughs. “You have a problem.”
And okay, that time Riku is a little offended. “I do not.”
It’s a day where Sion is running a little late, but soon enough, he’s jogging in through the classroom door. It’s funny. Megumi and Maku are huddled in a corner because the math homework is a little bit more difficult than usual and Maku’s been spending the last hour trying to lay out multiplication tables for Megumi to memorize. She’s completely locked in on the worksheets. She doesn’t even realize her dad’s already here.
Sion stands breathing heavily in the doorway, his face a little confused when no seven year-old comes flying at him. He looks to Riku. “Where is…?”
“There,” Riku smiles and points at the two of them craned over Megumi’s desk. He watches Sion’s gaze follow his finger, land on the kids, and…
Well. His shoulders slump. In relief, maybe. It’s such a visible reaction that Riku’s heart aches a little. Wow, Sion really is paranoid, isn’t he.
Riku watches him catch his breath, his hands on his knees. He can’t exactly read what the relieved look on Sion’s face means, not really, because he’s not a single parent with an autistic kid who clings to the extent that Megumi clings. Usually around pick-up time she’s even more locked onto the door than Riku is, ready to pounce on her Appa as soon as said Appa presents himself. And yet today she’s just… she doesn’t even realize he’s there. Megumi is murmuring to Maku, her eyes glued to the worksheet.
Riku blinks. He watches Sion run a hand through his hair. The anxiety in him is pretty impossible to miss.
“Well. She’s focused today, huh.” Sion smiles something very unconvincing as he joins Riku and Daeyoung where they’re both leaning back against their shared desk. “Wow. Sorry, I just-” Sion’s still staring at where Megumi and Maku have their foreheads pressed together over the multiplication worksheet. “I didn’t realize she could be so studious…”
Sion’s voice trails off. Riku offers: “She’s a little confused by multiplication. Maku’s helping her memorize the tables.”
“Oh,” Sion says. And then, for some reason, his shoulders slump a little more. “That’s good…”
Riku isn’t close enough to Sion to completely understand what he’s thinking in these moments when Megumi acts out of character. It’s… it’s curious. As a parent Sion has always come off as rather self assured with the way he can pretty much always predict what Megumi’s feeling off of the smallest of cues. If she comes to school grumpy: “She didn’t sleep well.” If she’s being a little petulant: “She’s hungry even after breakfast.” If she’s even more quiet than usual: “Things are loud for her today.” It’s not exactly normal for a parent to be able to read their kid that well, not even a single parent. It’s something Riku’s pretty fascinated by. But even then, whenever Megumi acts less clingy than usual, Sion always seems… oddly lost.
“She’s been like that ever since math,” Daeyoung offers. As the TA he stays with the kids all day even when the subject teachers come in and Riku’s rotated out to do some lesson planning in the teacher’s lounge. “I think she’s just a little stumped, Sion-san.”
Sion doesn’t look so convinced, though. “I guess. It’s just that lately she’s just been a little… I don’t even know.”
Both Daeyoung and Riku blink, intrigued. It’s nosy of them but obviously Megumi is the kid they spend the most time looking after because her threshold for chaos is much, much lower than all the other kids’ - it’s not rare that they have to diffuse the tension between her and a classmate because they prefer to avoid meltdown territory at all costs. Sion is still staring at Megumi like he’s trying to figure her out from all the way over here. Riku sends a sideways look Daeyoung’s way.
He mouths: Should we ask?
Daeyoung shrugs. And then: How nosy are you gonna be?
And, well. That makes Riku huff out a tiny laugh. It’s not like he’s someone who has very many reservations about being in Sion’s business, that’s for sure.
So Riku smiles something reassuring in Sion’s direction as he asks: “What’s wrong? Has she been acting up at home?” It’s not too demanding of him, not as Megumi’s teacher and Sion’s… almost-friend. Or whatever the hell you’d call them.
At least that gets Sion’s attention. He turns back to them and his ears are red like he forgot they were privy to his worry to begin with. “Well, um. No. Not exactly...” Sion sighs a little and scratches at his neck. “It’s just that over time she’s getting clingier. These days she won’t even leave me alone, she wants to sleep in my bed every night…”
“Ah, I see,” Riku nods. It’s not unheard of for a seven year-old, it’s just that Megumi is a little bit particular compared to most kids her age. Any parenting book would advise against co-sleeping, and as a teacher Riku would recommend much the same. So he asks: “But you don’t indulge too much, do you?”
He had a feeling what Sion’s answer would be before he even asked, but the guilty look on the man’s face does a lot of the talking for him. And, well. It’s not like Riku was under the impression Oh Sion is an especially strict dad.
“Well, I’m not supposed to...” Sion avoids their eyes. “And I try not to. But she’s really persuasive. It’s hard to say no when she’s my only baby. I want to give in and she knows it...” Sion’s expression is sheepish. “Sorry. I know that’s bad.”
Riku looks at Daeyoung, who shrugs. He studied child psych more in depth than Riku did and can usually offer better advice about these kinds of things. “I mean. It’s not great, but… um.” Daeyoung, too, looks a little contemplative. Which is probably fair - it’s not like Megumi’s a kid who can be parented easily by the books. “At least she’s fine being away from you when she’s here?”
They’re grasping at straws now, but Sion looks a little more relieved when Daeyoung says that, which is- it’s a little ridiculous. He’d know if Megumi wasn’t doing fine in school because they’d tell him first thing. Sometimes Riku can’t believe how much this man worries over his kid. It’s like every time they tell him that Megumi’s doing alright, Sion’s finally able to take a breath for the first time in hours. Surely he doesn’t spend all his time at work worrying over Megumi, too? Right? Like, seriously, does he?
“Is she really doing alright without me?” Sion peers back over at Megumi. “She’s not… she’s not missing me, right…?”
Daeyoung and Riku look at each other again. The funny thing about Sion is that sometimes talking to him about his kid feels like talking him down off the ledge, so it’s just- they have to tread carefully. Sion can be like Megumi in that way, in that his hearing is selective and he’s highly sensitive to criticism. But Megumi hasn’t changed much over the course of the school year. Or at least not when it comes to her dad. She’s always been rather Appa-forward, babbling about him whenever she’s in a chatty mood. And it's not everyday that Megumi really likes talking any more than the bare minimum, not even to Maku, but when she does…
“Um. It’s not getting worse,” Riku tries, which is at least true. “I think she just loves you a lot, Sion-san.”
He’s trying to be reassuring except he’s not quite sure if it’s working or not. It doesn’t require a genius to figure out that Oh Sion is a very neurotic parent and Riku never tries too hard to appease him on the Megumi front because, well. Sion knows her better than he does and also Riku’s still not quite sure how Sion managed to figure her out so well by himself. Most parents would dream of understanding their kids like Sion does, and yet…
Sion manages a smile as he glances back at him. He looks… not too worried, Riku thinks. “Well, I guess that’s true.” He laughs a little. “I’m just worried. In some ways she’s growing up and in others she’s just so… stagnant, I guess…”
Sion levels out a sigh and looks away again, seemingly distracted by his own thoughts. He sounds so tired. Riku nods empathetically and only looks away when Daeyoung nudges him in the shoulder.
“This is your deal, not mine, so I’m gonna go check on them,” he whispers. “So rizz him up, senpai, or at least-”
“I don’t know what that word means,” Riku despairs. But nevertheless Daeyoung sends him a grin before floating off.
Sion doesn’t seem to be perturbed by Daeyoung leaving mid-conversation. He’s still looking thoughtfully off at nothing and not really paying Riku, like, any attention. And the toxic part of Riku wants to be offended but he isn’t going to get a complex over Sion’s worry for his autistic seven year-old.
(Or at least he won’t right now. Although it is mildly tempting...)
“I don’t think you should be worrying too much, Sion-san. Honestly, Megumi’s still getting used to school,” Riku tells him. “With the other kids she can be… a little abrasive, sure, but she’s learning how to get along with them.” Riku means what he says, too, because it’s true. Megumi’s a good kid. She’s learning, albeit just much, much, much more slowly than her peers.
But Sion turns back to him, this time properly. “You think so?” He seems to be more relieved when he hears that. “Sorry, I just- I worry a lot.” He says it like that’s not the most obvious thing in the fucking world, for god’s sake, as if they don’t have this conversation basically everyday.
But Riku doesn’t say that; he only hums as Sion takes a step in closer and then he, too, is leaning against the desk. Their hands leave a respectable foot or so between them. “I mean, it’s okay to worry,” Riku tells him. “It’s not like I know how it feels to, um. Be a single parent…”
He sends Sion a sideways glance, who huffs out a laugh, except it’s a little humorless like it usually is whenever his parenting issues get brought up in conversation. “Yeah, that’s true. It’s… it’s not easy. But I think I’m doing alright enough. Or at least I hope I am.” Sion scoots in just the tiniest bit closer, barely any more than an inch, and yet Riku’s locked in on the movement like a hawk. “Megumi is a handful. I worry about her more than anything, really, I don’t think- I try not to focus on anything besides her, actually.”
Sion says it like it’s news, which it isn’t, because anyone who has spent more than five minutes talking to him could’ve figured that out. “I noticed,” Riku says a little sardonically. Though he smiles when Sion shoots him a tiny pout, and so he points out: “Sion-san, you hate talking about yourself.”
Maybe that’s a little too straight forward of him, like, in retrospect. But Sion’s ears just go a little red even though he doesn’t seem very miffed by Riku’s words. Even he has to know it’s true, right? For god’s sake, getting any information out of him that isn’t somehow related to Megumi is as painful as pulling teeth. Being bad at small talk is one thing, but being completely adverse to talking about yourself altogether is a completely separate monster. Riku isn’t stupid. He noticed that on the field trip. And he’s sure everyone else in Sion’s life knows it, too…
But:
“Yeah, I know. It’s just a bad habit I have…” Sion turns a little pinker and scratches at his jaw. “I’m… um. Not very interesting…”
Riku raises an eyebrow. “Eh, that’s not true.” Because it’s not. Or at least he doesn’t think so.
But Sion looks away. He must realize he’s been caught. “Yeah, well. Megumi comes first anyway. It’s just easier to…” He exhales. “I’m all she has. It’s easier to just focus on her.” That’s such a roundabout way to say he doesn’t give himself any thought, Riku is almost impressed. Even now he still resists talking about his own feelings entirely, huh…
Riku hums. He- he really wants to push. He wants to know how Sion became like this, so self-sacrificial because he’s got it in his head that something bad will happen if his focus on Megumi wavers even if only for a second. It’s not a dying urge to ask but it’s still there because the puzzle pieces aren’t awfully hard to fit together. After all, Sion’s never really talked about Megumi’s mom or the divorce or any of that besides in a very distant manner, as if it’s still a painful thing for him to think about. It’s not very difficult to pick up on that, the fact that it must’ve been a mess of a separation. Megumi is adamant she has no mother; they are completely cut off from any contact; Sion moved away from his home country to give Megumi a fresh start. None of that exactly screams a marriage that ended peacefully. Nor does it indicate that Megumi’s mom was anywhere near Sion’s level of attentive parenting. Which makes it…
It’s tempting to push. Riku wants to know more. Of course he does. But he’s still not gonna ask. He doesn’t think he should, never mind that he can’t - the flirting is one thing, but at school he has to be Megumi’s teacher instead of Sion’s friend, or- or whatever they are. And so Riku only says: “Well, you could use some focus on yourself, too.” He nudges Sion very gently in the side. “Megumi adores you, Sion-san. She’s a good kid because of you. You should worry about yourself just as much.”
Normally Riku would try to save face by tacking something onto the end of that, something like or, well, I don’t want to presume… But he doesn’t feel that way anymore. They’re close enough that he knows that much; he knows that Sion is selfless and pays his own needs pretty much no attention at all. A lot of autistic kids default to being selfish or acting out simply because they don’t understand their own feelings. But Megumi is nothing like that. She knows exactly what she wants and she knows the exact way to advocate for herself because Sion raised her like that. But what about him? Does Sion ever bother to advocate for himself? It doesn’t seem like he does.
Sion lets out a very long exhale after Riku’s words have a second to digest. “I… no, you’re right. Yushi’s actually been on me. He says I need to be nicer to myself…” Sion’s eyes are firm on the ground and while he always comes across as so self-assured and steady, Riku can see his hands tremble a little bit. Sion tells him: “I just want to be responsible enough.”
Riku nods. It’s not his job nor his place to push, not on this. He won’t ask aven though he wants to. So he only says: “It’s alright. You’re doing your best. Megumi wouldn’t be such a sweet kid if you weren’t.”
He means it even though the thought isn’t anything particularly poignant. But Sion looks over at him and there’s a little smile playing across his lips. “You think so?”
For a second Riku is stunned by the openly eager expression on Sion’s face like he really- like he needs his praise. Riku hardly thinks of himself as someone who is especially reassuring or anything. But it’s then when he realizes Sion takes Riku’s word much more seriously than he takes his own, and that is- that is a ginormous pill to swallow. Riku hardly takes himself seriously. And yet Sion listens to everything he says. And Sion…
Does he want to believe him? Is that what this is?
Riku breathes out. He scoots in only close enough to squeeze Sion’s hand, once, before letting go. “I do. Megumi is one of the most self-assured children I’ve ever taught. That’s not something that comes naturally to kids her age. It’s…” Riku licks his lips. “It’s because of you, Sion-san.”
For a second, Sion says nothing, just staring and smiling a tiny smile at him. It’s a very long second. But then Sion laughs a little. He laughs and he smiles, and it’s so genuine, it’s a real laugh and a real smile. Maybe he isn’t told that often enough. Or maybe he’s grateful that Riku is- it’s too hard to tell. Sion’s fingers loop around his wrist and he squeezes, too.
“Thank you, Sensei,” Sion’s voice is warm. “I really appreciate that.”
Riku’s face feels a little hot and he just shrugs in a way that absolutely does not come off as casually as he wants it to. But Sion, too, lets go of him and Riku wants to- he needs to change the subject. “Well, it’s true. Megumi is a really good kid… and you’re a good dad…”
He’s overly aware of the proximity, of Sion smiling at him. It’s awful. He asks: “Really?”
Riku meets his eyes only long enough to nod. And then, averting his gaze just as quickly: “Yeah.”
There’s a beat, just one, but then Sion’s still smiling in his peripheral. “That’s- that’s good to know.”
It’s weird, this mood between them. It’s weird because they can’t do anything about it. It lingers and lingers but Sion is quick to disengage - Maku and Megumi are the only kids left in the classroom and it’s getting late anyway, and so he has no choice but to herd them off. Sion only sends Riku another smile as he slips away and goes over to the kids. Daeyoung is helping them through a bit of the harder equations, but then when Sion approaches the desk and Megumi realizes her beloved Appa is in the room, she launches herself at him. Riku smiles from his desk. He can see the relief in Sion’s frame from even this far away. He only seems so relaxed when Megumi’s in his arms anyway. It’s so…
God. His heart almost aches. It’s something between I want him to be like that with me, too and who’s responsible for leaving him with all of that tension? Both of those are things Riku can’t do anything about, not now. Maybe not ever. Though he’s gonna try to…
“See you, Sensei!” Sion waves before he leaves, both kids in tow.
Riku waves back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sion-san.”
It’s calm. Most days are calm. Maku leaves with them - apparently those two have been doing their homework together at Sion’s house - and it’s calm as he and Daeyoung pack up the classroom and they go home. It’s calm as they drive home (besides the murmurs of Daeyoung’s scary fucking truck, that is, but they’re used to that) and it’s calm when Daeyoung bargains his way into another hangout and Riku lets him. At this rate Ryo and Sakuya will be over at any moment…
Whenever Riku sees Sion he feels so happy. It’s just funny. There are a lot of lame things about living in rural Kyoto but Riku is feeling good these days, leaning harder into his routine instead of mourning what said routine lacks. Daeyoung whips up some Korean food for dinner, pork belly and kimchi and a bunch of other things Riku can barely pronounce the names of. It’s nice and calm and Riku, who’s usually thirsty for more excitement, feels settled for the first time in ages.
“Itadakimasu…” Riku murmurs. And then he digs in.
When things were too calm, it used to freak him out. Riku is not a creature of habit, he actually thrives more in environments where he has to be pushed into working his hardest. University was really good for him in that way, and so was working in Tokyo. But the calm is starting to feel nice. Especially with Sion’s handsome face in the mornings and afternoons and in his phone. Riku can’t say this is all Sion’s doing but he’s part of it - it’s nice. It’s nice to just finally feel settled.
Dinner, Sion texts him, followed by a photo of a meal that actually doesn’t look all that different from what Daeyoung made. That’s- it’s just a little funny.
Riku sends a photo back. You wanna swap?
Argh, Sion sends back. Daeyoung’s better than me at cooking. Now I’m jealous. Can you ask him to send some recipes?
Riku smiles. Okay, I will.
Everything about that night ends up being calm despite… well everything, really. Ryo and Sakuya are stuck studying for exams so even they are busy; Daeyoung makes Riku binge a new gay Korean dating show with him over wine. There aren’t any subtitles so Riku’s a little confused, but boy, there’s a lot of eye candy to look at.
“You are of the devil, tempting me,” Riku goes red and smacks Daeyoung on the arm when he pulls up a Youtube compilation of the hot guys, again, just to really rub it in his face. “I’m- I’m already interested in someone!”
“What are you even saying?” Daeyoung laughs. “Come on, that guy’s your type!” He points at the screen. “It’s not cheating! You and Sion-san aren’t even-”
But Riku covers his eyes with his hands. “Nuh-uh! I’m already committed to a man!” Though he’d be lying if he said those guys weren’t… very good-looking. Like, very good-looking…
But they’re just not as good-looking as Sion, okay? They aren’t!
Daeyoung leaves right before their mutual bedtime, though he insists Riku keep the leftovers because he’s a literal angel. Riku sees him out with a ruffle of his hair. He only sighs once he’s left alone again. The quiet of the apartment is nice - he really loves his post-work naps, too - but he’s starting to appreciate the kids rummaging into his life more and more these days…
Ah. It’s just- things have just been nice. It turns out that Kyoto isn’t that bad of a place to settle down once you accept the countryside for what is it is. And Riku is...
He’s happy. He feels pretty happy.
He curls up in bed. Sion’s apparently unable to text because Megumi’s been fussy at bedtime recently and Riku, of course, isn’t going to push. He’s just glad Sion texts him at all. He takes a photo of the moon from his bedroom window and sends it in the chat. He could- he doesn’t want to be too bold. Right? He shouldn’t say anything, right? But maybe Sion doesn’t even know the reference…
He sends: The moon looks beautiful tonight. And then Riku buries into his pillow and tosses his phone across the bed.
Yeah, he’s already in too deep. He is. Sion is a man a few years divorced who cares about his kid and nothing else, he’s probably too busy to date an overly nosy teacher. But Riku wants to date him. He wants to know Sion better, he wants to talk all the time, he wants Sion to be the biggest part of his routine. But Sion’s a single dad. That’s so selfish. He’s never- he wouldn’t-
Riku has to hold in a real, genuine screech when his phone buzzes that familiar pattern. But he retrieves his phone where it’s lost in the duvet and slowly peeks an eye open to read what the message says.
Yeah, the moon does look beautiful. Sleep well, Sensei.
Riku’s ears go red and he presses his phone to his chest. Does Sion- no he’d never respond like that if he knew what Riku really meant. So he sends back his own goodnight and puts his phone away, finally, just to- he needs to calm down. Chill, Riku, just chill, Sion’s oblivious so he doesn’t even- you have to be patient, idiot…
Riku buries into his sheets and pats his cheeks, willing for the embarrassment to go away. Who is he to demand Sion’s attention? He’s so busy with Megumi. Sion even said that he doesn’t have time for anyone else, not even himself. So to ask for anything more than this is too much. It is. He shouldn’t be too selfish with someone who already has given all of himself away to his kid.
But god, Riku wants him. He wants all of him. He’s willing to bide his time, too, he’s willing to be very patient. And so Riku goes to bed, hoping Oh Sion understood exactly what he was trying to say.
He dreams of warm hands, smaller than his own. Riku, a low voice says. And he wakes up in the morning with his shirt stuck to his chest with sweat. Riku groans into his hands.
He murmurs: “I can be patient… I can… I can be sooo patient…” as he gets up and gets ready. Though no one would believe him, would they. Not even himself.
˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖
It’s later that day when Riku, for maybe the first time in his career, suddenly understands what it really means to fly too close to the sun. Fuck the- the whole thing with Sion doesn’t even matter. He’s not even doing half as bad with that than he is at his actual, literal job. Because normally Riku can handle messes, right? He’s great at cleaning up messes, he’s been a primary school teacher his entire career. But today all of his usual problem children are on their best behavior and there is no simple “mess” to clean up.
No, today, his problem child is Megumi. And she’s causing a lot more than a simple mess.
“Okay, I don’t think the usual distractions are working,” Daeyoung says to him in a low voice because they’re having a conference about what to do at their desk. “She pushed Hitomi. That’s not-”
“She’s not usually physical,” Riku agrees. He runs a hand down his face. “This isn’t good.”
It started at the beginning of the day. Yushi dropped Megumi off instead of Sion but she was already grumpy, which apparently is because her Appa forgot her goodbye kiss. But that’s- that’s one thing, you know? Kids are like that. But then during math she got sent out in the hallway because she was back-talking the math teacher. And at the beginning of lunch she pushed Hitomi because the other girl stumbled too close to Megumi’s desk. And she won’t even talk to Maku, she won’t talk to Daeyoung, she’ll barely talk to Riku. Sion laid out the work for them - when Megumi is defiant to the point of silence, she’s about to have a meltdown. One of the nuclear level, the kind that they won’t be able to calm down.
And Riku is… he doesn’t know what the fuck to do.
“Should we call Sion?” Daeyoung is especially worried. Megumi’s refused to speak Japanese all day but even in Korean she’s curt, shutting Daeyoung down when he asks questions.
“We really- we shouldn’t.” Riku bites his lip. Megumi is a special case, sure, but what kind of teachers are they if they’re calling a parent because of preemptive signs? Megumi’s seven. She’s probably spending all of her school years in this town - they need to be able to find solutions, otherwise she’s gonna spend the rest of her life being a ticking time bomb. Riku isn’t someone who likes just letting these things happen. Surely there’s something they can do, right?
Daeyoung doesn’t look so convinced, though. “But Sion said-”
“Daeyoung, she’s autistic, not-” Riku lowers his voice to a whisper. “We can’t just pretend the problem doesn’t exist. Even Sion knows that.”
“I know,” Daeyoung whispers back. “But he’s the only one she listens to.”
Unfortunately enough, he has a point about that. Riku crosses his arms and tries to think. Right now Megumi’s standing in the corner and staring at the wall with her hands over her ears. So it’s too loud, then. Riku can’t really calm the volume of the classroom during lunch. It’s unfair to the other kids since it’s their free period. But normally when Megumi’s overwhelmed she comes to Riku, which helps, except she’s not doing that today. And Riku can’t really solve the root of the issue if she’s not going to talk, which she definitely isn’t.
So- ugh. What the hell does he do?
It takes a few moments of thinking, but eventually Riku settles on some kind of simple deescalation. You know, get her somewhere quiet, give her some space. That’s a reasonable accommodation that won’t hinder any of the other kids’ ability to learn, and even if she has a full meltdown, it can be somewhere quiet where there is far less stimulation. Riku has talked to Misato, who taught Megumi last year - she never tested if that kind of thing would help her get through a meltdown without Sion needing to come in, so it’s at least worth attempting. But the longer Megumi stands there, the more she’s rocking back and forth and muttering to herself in a rising volume, which is- it’s not a good sign.
So Riku turns back to Daeyoung. “I need to call the admin. I’m gonna try to get her to an office. They’re quiet this time of day, right?”
“Yeah, they are,” Daeyoung agrees. “But don’t you think they’d try to discipline her if she -”
“They will,” Riku’s a little more solemn than usual. “So I’m gonna make the call and make sure there isn’t any interference. Just keep an eye on her.”
The plan he has in mind will actually work, he thinks, because everything about Megumi’s behavior indicates that it will. Autism isn’t some mystery disease - Megumi is on the highly communicative end of the spectrum, which means there are certainly workarounds. But what Riku doesn’t consider is that the kids would try to take things into their own hands. He’s halfway through dialing the principal’s office number on his landline when from the corner comes an honest-to-god scream.
Riku drops the receiver in reaction. He whips around. It’s Megumi, obviously - she’s on her knees, she’s screaming. There’s Hitomi. Her hand’s on her shoulder, and- oh god, that’s not good.
“H- Hitomi, hold on-” Riku hesitates half a second before kicking into gear and rushing over to them because holy shit, Sion was right when he said that Megumi knows how to make a lot of noise when she wants to. She’s- she’s fully screaming. She’s wailing. Everyone is staring. Hitomi is spooked. She has a packet of Pocky in hand - for reconciliation, maybe? - but she looks like she may cry, too.
“Why’s Megumi so mad?” Her eyes are wide, watery.
“It’s not that,” Riku says. “Go sit down for a second, it’s okay…”
Well. Okay, well, this isn’t exactly something he configured into his plan. Sion was always highly specific - Megumi is inconsolable once she devolves into a meltdown, once she’s screaming and crying and unresponsive. Actual deescalation isn’t really possible with a kid who’s crying their eyes out. Or not at least for Megumi, who is wailing and curled up in a ball. Riku knows not to touch her but he crouches down and tries: “Megumi?”
She doesn’t give him any reaction. Though she hasn’t been reacting to Japanese at all today. Riku beckons Daeyoung closer and motions for him to sit down.
“What do we-”
“Repeat everything I tell you in Korean,” Riku says. “Okay? Even if she doesn’t respond, just say it. And don’t touch her.”
Riku’s never really done any work with special needs kids before but he took classes in college, he gets the gist. So: “Gumi,” Riku says. “You’re okay. Hm? Is it too loud? We can go somewhere quiet.”
Daeyoung repeats him word for word, or at least that’s what Riku presumes. Megumi curls up even more. She gives no indication of understanding him.
So Riku keeps his voice level and says: “We can go somewhere really quiet. No one has to touch you. You’re hungry, right? You didn’t eat lunch.”
Daeyoung is much more stressed than he is, but he repeats his words in a relatively steady voice. Megumi’s still sobbing but she peeks an eye over at him. Her gaze is unfocused but her words are obvious: “A-Appa-” Then she cries something he can’t understand in Korean. Riku smiles at her in a way that he thinks is reassuring.
But he asks Daeyoung: “What’d she say?”
“Oh, uh- she misses her dad.” Poor Daeyoung’s having to switch back and forth so rapidly he looks lost, but he does it well. “It’s too loud. She wants to go home.”
So Riku just keeps smiling at Megumi and he says: “Tell her that Sensei will bring her home.”
Daeyoung blinks. In Japanese: “What?”
Riku looks at him. “We need to get her somewhere else first. Tell her we’re getting ready to go home.”
Daeyoung looks a little confused but does as he’s told. Megumi’s still crying her eyes out but her teary eyes glance over at Riku before darting away. “Really?” He knows enough Korean to discern that.
“Sensei’s gonna sit with you while we wait for your Appa,” Riku says to Daeyoung, who repeats after him. “If you come with Sensei, you’ll get a treat.”
No, Riku’s never directly worked with any autistic kids before but he had a feeling something like this might work. Sion’s directions were always clear: Megumi is only really redirected by food, her dad, or making compromises she thinks are fair. Megumi is unruly in a lot of ways but she’s very straight forward in her ideas of fairness; a compromise would at least do something. Calming her down with food is a sketchy precedent to set in the long term but most hungry children get unbearably cranky. Megumi’s autistic and she hasn’t eaten since breakfast. She needs her base needs met first and foremost and the hard stuff will come later…
Riku tries not to visibly sigh in relief when Megumi finally looks up at him without averting her eyes. Her hands are covering her ears and her bottom lip is trembling as she cries: “Really?”
Riku nods. He makes an attempt at Korean: “Really.”
Daeyoung makes a faint, amused sound. But Megumi’s eyes widen and she looks- she’s almost hopeful. Riku doesn’t touch her but he beckons her to sit up, then stand up. Her hands are still over her ears and she’s still crying, but at least she’s not full-on wailing anymore. Riku tells Daeyoung: “Sensei will get her somewhere quiet. And she’ll get a snack.”
Daeyoung raises an eyebrow at the idea - yeah, the focus on food is probably a little unconventional - but he repeats himself. Megumi nods. She nudges closer to Riku’s side and looks up at him expectantly. Tears are still streaming down her face and her nose is all snotty. But she’s- this is much less jarring. Riku had no idea a kid as quiet as Megumi knew how to scream so loudly, holy shit. That’s gonna haunt him in his sleep tonight.
“Okay, now distract the others," Riku murmurs to Daeyoung. The kids are openly staring at what’s happening and he’d like them to not cause any more headaches for the day. “I’ve got her. Just wait.”
It’d be a comical thing to be doing if it weren’t for their circumstances. Riku slowly, slowly, slowly guides Megumi out of the classroom with a hand hovering over her shoulder. It’s slow because she’s inching after him, pretty much latched to his side. Riku’s confused by her need for proximity but choosing not to question it for now, at least. It’s clear that Megumi’s still scared because she’s scanning her surroundings with a terrified look on her face, the fear only growing when Riku moves too far away from her. So Riku has to pretty much entice her down the hallway, down the main stairs. He goes painfully slow. He ignores when they get stares from kids in other classes. Most of the older students are out playing soccer in front of the school - so on the bright side, things could’ve been much, much worse.
It takes forever to reach the offices on the first floor. Megumi’s leaning into his side and that is- it’s still very confusing. Riku can’t tell if she wants to be touched or not but he’s keeping his hands to himself because it’s really not the time to be making any assumptions. Riku beckons Megumi with him, careful not to touch her even though she’s latched onto him. “Just follow me.” He can’t tell if she understands Japanese right now or not. Which is-
Ugh. That’s a problem for later.
Riku bypasses the teacher’s lounge to go to the admin suite. He’s pretty sure that Megumi can’t hear him when he tells the admin secretary: “I need an empty office and some snacks, please?”
Suki, who works the desk, only blinks up at him with an incredulous look on her face: “Eh?”
“This kid,” Riku tries to be patient as he shows Megumi, who is tucked under his armpit and still very much crying, “she’s special needs. Please help me.”
Suki looks a little hesitant to listen to a random teacher - she and Riku have always gotten along well enough, never mind her habit of being snotty to anyone who asks her for too many favors - but she nods. Albeit hesitantly, but that’s fine. “Alright. But Sensei’s gonna be pissed and I can’t help you with that, Maeda-kun.”
Riku only bows. “Thank you so much, really.” He can deal with the fallout with the principal later. For now, he needs to get Megumi somewhere safe.
Suki unlocks an empty conference room for him. It’s one of the smaller ones. Riku’s aware that verbal communication is a lost cause so he makes sure the door is shut behind them before he gestures to the light switch. It’s off. He makes a flicking motion with his finger.
Megumi, looking wary, shakes her head. So the dark it is, then.
Riku guides her down into one of the chairs while making some ridiculous gestures with his hands. Megumi’s still loosely cupping her ears but it’s pretty much silent here, so she’s less tense. But because he’d like her to actually calm down, Riku tries something new by taking his airpods case out of his pocket and offering them to her. He’s not sure if she knows they’re noise cancelling or not, but even so he holds them up for her to see.
Megumi seems to understand though, because she nods. And then, with a shaking hand, she takes them.
Riku is careful not to touch her as he helps her put the headphones in her ears. He puts brown noise on his phone. When it filters through the airpods, Megumi’s shoulders slump in relief and she curls into the chair. Her face buries into her knees but she takes a long, heaving breath. Then her tears stop and she is- she is finally calm.
Like, she’s not crying anymore. She’s actually calm.
Holy shit. So that’s what it takes to get a kid like Megumi out of a meltdown. Riku is… he’s really exhausted. He sits next to her and is careful not to touch her or make any sudden movements. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Suki. Riku sends a look at Megumi but she doesn’t react.
“Ice cream, water, crackers,” Suki piles into his hands when Riku goes to answer the door. “You owe me seven-fifty yen.”
Riku’s not surprised by that, though he’s a little exasperated. “Really?”
But Suki just grins. “No, I’m joking. I hope your kid’s okay.” And then she slinks off.
Riku returns back to the room. He knows Megumi only likes strawberry ice cream - that’s the convenient thing about him and Sion texting so much - but he offers her the Melona bar. Megumi stares at it for a long, long second. Normally she’d turn him down, but maybe hunger is winning out, because she nods.
Riku sighs in relief. Well, it’s better than nothing.
He unwraps it for her and Megumi’s hands are shaking too much to really hold it well. So Riku keeps it still as she nibbles at it. Again, this would be very funny if not for the circumstances. But Megumi manages to eat most of the ice cream bar. She also agrees to water, which Riku is careful to feed her. Then the crackers. She eats two before making a face. Well, at least she tried.
After eating, Megumi’s breath seems calmer. And she’s definitely not crying anymore, even though every now and again she still sniffles. Riku’s not exactly sure what to do from here but he’s surprised when Megumi scoots her chair in to lean against his arm. She really doesn’t mind the physical touch with Riku, huh. It’s just weird. Sion always said she hated touching anyone whenever she was overwhelmed…
Hm. Riku doesn’t really know how to feel about this. “Gumi?” he tries. She looks up at him with a perfectly neutral expression. And he’s not sure what to say then, either, because this is the first time she’s responded to Japanese all day. So Riku blinks and says: “Um, so would you like to-”
But it doesn’t matter whatever bullshit he comes up with because then Megumi is moving. She leans hard into Riku’s side, briefly, before making a face. Then she’s hauling herself out of her chair and into Riku’s lap, and Riku is- he’s very surprised but he doesn’t give any kind of verbal reaction because it still doesn’t feel like he should be making much noise. Riku doesn't usually let his students in his lap - it’s bad manners for their age - but Megumi is hard to dissuade when she finds his neck immediately. She buries her face there. She seems even calmer, her breath evening out.
For a second Riku has no idea what to do. But then he realizes he can’t really do much about it, not if this is what makes Megumi feel better in the aftermath of something that must have felt very, very, very stressful. So Riku’s movements are slow as he runs a hand down her back and informs her: “Um… I’m gonna call your Appa…”
Megumi nods. And, well. He doesn’t have much choice after that, does he.
Riku feels very out of his depth as he goes to Sion’s contact and calls his number. He presses his phone to his ear. It rings. Once; twice; three times; then- “Hello?”
“Hi, Sion-san,” Riku tries to sound cheery and fails. He’s so tired and they’re not exactly in the most jolly of moods in this conference room. So Riku asks: “Are you… um. Are you busy?”
“I’m at work,” Sion sounds confused. “Did something happen with Megumi…?” There is a tiny, tiny, tiny hint of rising panic in his voice.
“Um.” Riku glances down at the kid in his lap and has no idea how to phrase this. “Um, well. She had a meltdown, I think, the kind where she was screaming and crying and stuff…” Wow, Riku. How can you be an academic and yet still so terrible with your words?
But he can definitely hear the panic in Sion’s voice this time around. “What, she- a real meltdown?”
“Uh. Yeah.” Riku’s not sure how to mince his words, so he doesn’t. “Like, a really bad one.”
There’s a second of silence on the line before Sion almost audibly kicks into gear, all the panic in his voice dissipating as it fades into something firm. “I’m on my way, then. She’s- don’t touch her or else she’ll freak out, so-”
“Well, the thing is- sorry, that’s not all,” Riku cuts him off before Sion goes completely into Protective Parent Mode even though he, too, is kind of feeling freaked out. “The meltdown is over, actually. She’s all calm now. But I wanted to let you know because I think she’d like to go home…” Riku trails off. He managed to phrase that terribly, too.
But Sion is silent on the other side. Like, very silent. Riku blinks. He gives him ten seconds, maybe more, because he’s just-
“Uh, Sion-san?”
“Sorry, I think- I think I’m misunderstanding you,” Sion sounds incredibly confused. He doesn’t sound panicked this time, but there’s that authority again, the authority of a dad who has raised this kid all on his own. “Megumi had a meltdown. And she’s fine now? And it was a real meltdown?” He sounds almost incredulous, actually.
“I believe so. She was crying and screaming like you said she would,” Riku replies. “But I managed to calm her down and now she’s all good.” Except then he thinks better of it: “Or at least I think she is.”
Sion is silent for another long while but Riku’s now realizing that maybe he just needs the time to process things. So he waits. And he waits. And then Sion is saying: “...She’s calm?”
“She’s on my lap, actually,” Riku laughs a tiny, embarrassed thing. “Sorry, I know it’s a little- she just crawled up there, so-”
“She’s-? What?” Sion sounds disbelieving, almost exasperated. Though he doesn’t hesitate this time, exhaling only once. “Um. Okay. This is- I can be there in fifteen.” Again, Sion speaks in that firm tone, the one Riku is the most curious about. “Sensei, just- stay there.” Yeah, he’s really firm.
“...Okay.” Riku’s voice is tiny but that’s because he’d listen to any order Sion gave him. Which is probably not something he should be thinking right now. But alas. “Megumi and I are waiting for you.”
Sion chuckles humorlessly on the other side of the line. He still sounds disbelieving. But he’s saying: “Okay, just- just be good and stay there.” And then he hangs up.
For a second Riku wonders if he hallucinated the entirety of that phone call. Because, like… yeah. He doesn’t know. Sion seemed so shocked by Megumi’s behavior and that’s new, really, because Sion has always been adamant that Megumi is completely inconsolable unless he’s the one doing the consoling. And yet, now she’s- wow. Maybe Riku’s just being crazy by overthinking all the implications. He doesn’t even think the “be good” was directed at him, either, but now Riku knows what Sion sounds like when he says just be good and Riku doesn’t think he will ever, ever, ever be normal again.
But even so, Riku sits there, very still, and waits. Because, you know. He’s good.
Sion actually only takes ten minutes to get to the school, or at least he arrives far quicker than he said he would. Riku’s staring off at nothing and startles when he hears some frantic voices out in the hall, then that’s followed by a rapid knock on the door. That must be him. Riku calls out: “Come in.”
The door opens very, very slowly. It’s Sion. Of course it is. His expression is worried but he walks in with careful footsteps like this is a song and dance he’s very familiar with. Sion’s eyes are not on Riku, but on Megumi, who is still in Riku’s lap. She might be asleep, actually. Her breathing is so even that it’s hard to think anything otherwise. Maybe the brown noise is what did it for her.
Sion’s eyes are wide. That’s the main thing - he sounded disbelieving earlier but now he looks it, too. He comes to a stop in front of Riku and runs a hand down his face.
“Daeyoung told me what happened ‘cause I- I went to the classroom,” he whispers. His voice is shaking. “But you-” His eyes flit up to Riku’s. “You really calmed her down.”
“I did…” Riku doesn’t feel embarrassed but he’s close. “Um. Sorry. I know you said she didn’t like being touched…”
Sion’s staring at him, though. Like, openly. He reaches out and his hand rests on Megumi’s head. But he’s still staring at Riku.
“You…” His voice is tiny. He looks back at Megumi. “Sorry. This is just- she’s never listened to anyone else before.”
Riku already knew that. Sion was specific earlier in the year: I’m the only one who can calm her down. But apparently not. She’s fast asleep in Riku’s lap, not even reacting to Sion’s fingers caressing over her hair. Riku’s gonna have to tell Sion about the airpods hack for sure, because it worked like fucking magic.
“I just… tried my best?” Riku smiles a little awkwardly. “It took a little work, but I was able to figure out what she needed, I think…”
He can’t help but falter a bit when Sion looks back at him and his hand floats up from Megumi’s hand to Riku’s shoulder. Sion’s touch is less delicate than it normally is; it’s firm. His palm is wide. A thumb runs over the jut of Riku’s shoulder and he tries not to shiver. He didn’t- does Sion normally touch people like that? Why does it feel so reverent?
“Yeah, you did really well,” Sion breathes. He laughs. “God. You’re amazing.”
Riku blushes. Like, he goes fully red. But there’s no time to dwell on that because Sion’s quickly letting go of him and dropping to his knees. He is gentle again, shaking Megumi awake. “Hey, Gumi, baby.” Sion’s voice is slow and adoring with her. Riku tries not to be too nosy but it’s hard not to pay extra close attention to that tone because Sion is just so- it’s crazy.
Wow. Sion called him amazing. What the fuck.
Riku gently plucks the airpods out of Megumi’s ears and she wakes up after only a little bit of prodding. Sion has said before that she can fall asleep anywhere as long as she’s being cuddled but now Riku really understands what he meant by that. Megumi blinks. “Appa?”
“Hey, Princess,” Sion’s hands are gentle on her shoulders. “How are you?”
“Bad,” Megumi murmurs, immediately reaching out for him. “Don’t wanna talk.”
In the low lights of the room, Sion’s smile is watery. “Okay, then. We don’t have to talk.”
Megumi goes easily when Sion lifts her from Riku’s lap, up into his arms. She fits more easily with him than she does with Riku; it’s not lost on him that Megumi is actually much bigger than she looks, Sion just kinda dwarfs her. But her head rests in her dad’s collarbone and Sion exhales as he runs a hand down her back. His hands are trembling. Riku notices that, too. Sion’s relief is nearly palpable in the air.
“I should take her home,” Sion says. “I don’t- sorry. I know I should have a plan for when this happens but usually she doesn’t calm down until I show up…”
“It’s okay,” Riku tells him. “We can talk about that another time. If you wait here, I can go get her stuff.”
Sion smiles something grateful. “That’d be great.”
Riku isn’t thinking anything in particular as he pockets his headphones and retraces his steps up to the classroom. He’s not- that was a stressful thing he just managed, he knows that much. So much so that Megumi’s wails hardly even feel real anymore. But Riku’s able to compartmentalize as a teacher, and back in the classroom the kids all seem just fine, so he only exhales. Fuck, they managed to survive a real Megumi Meltdown. That’s no easy feat.
Daeyoung is sitting at the desk - it seems like he ordered them all to spend this period reading. He beelines to Riku when he walks in, his whispers a little frantic: “Is she okay? Sion came here but-”
“Yeah. He’s with her, I’m getting her stuff,” Riku whispers back. He collects Megumi’s bento, her bag, her hat. Her desk is a mess but it’s always a mess - Riku can save that scolding for tomorrow. Maku sends him a wary look when he passes by. Riku tells him: "Megumi's okay. I’ll have Sion-san call your mom later, okay?”
Maku nods. “Okay…”
It’s just- that’s for the best. Maku is much more sensitive than he comes across and he’s also really skittish. It’d be good if an adult could explain some things to him, an adult who isn’t Riku because that’s beyond his pay grade for many, many reasons. Like, holy shit.
“I’ll be back, I’ll tell you more then,” Riku whispers to Daeyoung after he gathers all of Megumi’s things. At least the school day’s almost over. He needs that nap more than ever. “Thank you Daeyoung, seriously.”
“It’s fine,” Daeyoung tells him. “Don’t worry about things here, senpai, just go help Sion out.”
So Riku bows out of the classroom and walks down, again, to the offices. When he gets back to the conference room, Sion is rocking Megumi back and forth in his arms, murmuring something quietly to her. His expression softens when Riku steps back inside. Riku tries to ignore that and fails. He’s so tired and it’s a bad time to get all swoony under Oh Sion’s gaze, like, seriously…
“Here you go,” Riku hands everything over. He’s very intimidated by the soft look on Sion’s face, actually, he’s just- he’s never seen Sion look at him like that before. It’s distracting. “Um. I think that’s everything…”
“I think so, too.” Sion squeezes Megumi tighter and sighs. “I’m gonna take her now. She’s all worn out.” But then he’s looking at Riku a little bit more intensely, somehow, which is- “Is it okay if I call you later? Or you call me, when you’re done with work?”
Riku blinks. He’s overwhelmed for a second by the very firm look in Sion’s eyes. He doesn’t know if Sion’s ever looked at him like that before, or if anyone else has, for that matter. Or not unless it was sex-related. Which this isn’t, but still…
The expression on Sion’s face is very specific, almost… wow. Wow. Sion can be intense when he wants to be, that’s for sure.
“O-oh, sure!” Riku stutters after taking a second too long to process all of this. Because, like, obviously. Though Riku’s slightly scared of whatever this could possibly be leading to. “Yeah, I can do like… um. Nine? After Gumi goes to bed?”
Ugh. The terrible thing is that Sion only smiles and it’s a very, very fond thing. “The time doesn’t matter. I just want to, um-” He laughs a little. “I just think I should be thanking you properly. You’ve done things for Gumi that no one else ever has.”
Holy shit. Something about his tone and his words make Riku’s belly flop around a little bit. He doesn’t know how he feels about being the only person to do anything that involves Megumi or Sion. Riku’s also not sure if he’s ever been so red in his entire life. Which is humiliating. And yet a part of him feels so honored and special and- and so appreciated, seriously, it’s insane…
So Riku averts his eyes and says: “W-well. Okay.” He brushes a strand of hair behind his ear. He feels so embarrassed all of a sudden, as if he hasn’t spent the past hour of his life running around for the kid in Sion’s arms. He hopes it doesn’t come off as too nervous…
And yet when Riku glances back up at Sion’s face, he’s still smiling. It’s like Sion was waiting for him to look, though he- he shouldn’t have. “Then I’ll talk to you later, Sensei. Be safe on your way home, okay?”
Fuck. He’s using that firm voice again, along with that smile, and- Riku blushes even more. He bows his head. “I will…”
It’s so… it’s just a lot. Sion leaves after that. Riku stands there in the dark for what feels like hours and hours though it could’ve only been five minutes or so. He has a class to get back to, after all. But Riku reaches a hand up to squeeze where Sion touched his shoulder earlier and his ears burn, burn, burn. He can still feel the ghost of a thumb against his clavicle, Sion’s touch firm enough for it to have been purposeful… or, well. It was purposeful, right?
Sion’s hand was so warm. Riku squeezes his eyes shut. Holy shit, he’s screwed.
˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖
As anyone could’ve predicted, the day ends up being a long one. Like, extremely long. It’s maybe the longest day of Riku’s career, which isn’t an achievement he gives out freely.
Nothing insane happens. Or at least not anything even remotely as insane as Megumi’s meltdown. Most of the kids are unperturbed by her absence. Riku takes Hitomi aside and tells her that they’ll have a talk with Megumi tomorrow, which the little girl is appeased by. Maku seems reassured, too, when he finds out that Megumi won’t be out of class for long. The day ends on a whimper rather than a bang. But it’s better that way because he has hell waiting for him after the last bell.
As such:
It’s last period when the phone in the classroom rings. Daeyoung picks it up. He listens for a moment before nodding and delivering the bad news: “Senpai, the principal wants to see you after the kids are all gone…”
Riku’s nod is solemn. “Alright.” And, well, that can’t mean anything good.
The day ends pretty quickly and by the time everyone is either picked up or has left on their own accord, Riku has to argue with Daeyoung to go home without him. He can walk when the meeting’s over, never mind that there’s no way in hell this meeting is going to be a nice, cordial one. “Daeyoung, come on, he’s probably gonna put me on some kind of probation,” Riku hisses, pushing him towards the door.
Daeyoung scoffs. “But, still, you- let me just-”
“I’m serious,” Riku shoves him. “I- I need some space! Go home!”
It takes a bit of convincing but eventually Daeyoung gives in, and so then Riku drags his feet all the way to the principal’s office where what ensues is a very long, very stressful meeting. Megumi’s “condition” - as the principal puts it - has always been a kind of neutral compromise amongst teachers. As in, they’ve all mutually agreed to accommodate her to a reasonable extent as long as she is cordial with said accommodations. But now that the admin is aware of it, it’s out of Riku’s hands. He can’t make exemptions for her that the other kids don’t get. The principal, Suzuki, is a real hard ass - this reminds Riku a lot of how things were in Tokyo. He’s trying to run this school like a business as if they don’t live in the goddamn mountains. There are only enough kids in each grade to have separate classes at the high school age; Megumi is but a blip amongst the younger students.
“If my class is small enough to accommodate her, I’m accommodating her.” Riku is often seen as meek by his coworkers but when it comes to his students, he’s no doormat. He’s firm: “She’s seven years old, Suzuki-san, we aren’t isolating her any further.”
“Then next year, when she’s in Mizuki’s class, are you the one taking responsibility?” Suzuki isn’t so nice about it. “You’ve got enough on your plate, Maeda. It’s one kid. She can be homeschooled if she needs to. We don’t have the resources to handle a child who acts so unruly.” He then proceeds to call her a few choice words. Standing by the door is Suki, who winces at each one. Fucking hell.
It’s contentious. Riku isn’t in a position to be making demands this early in his career but he has very little respect for someone who uses slurs about a child, never mind that if he were any other teacher, he’d be much less nice about it - Riku’s temperament is a lot gentler compared to his coworkers, even those who are less lenient with Megumi. So he doesn’t let the meeting end without making himself clear: “If one child can’t be given accommodations in a class of twelve kids, then I don’t think we should be proud of ourselves as educators. I know her father. If she’s left to be homeschooled, then she’ll be a victim of our incompetence.” Then he leaves.
Suzuki scoffs at the audacity, but Riku’s better off if he makes sure things end in a stalemate. Disobeying direct orders is different than simply arguing. He’ll probably be reprimanded again tomorrow for the impolite behavior, but still, he needs some time to think about how he can get Suzuki off of Megumi’s case…
It’s Suki who catches him before he leaves, following him out of the room. “Maeda, I- you have balls. I’ll say that.” Her voice is low, her hand on his arm. “But everything you said- I’ll talk to the others. We’ll figure something out even if Suzuki-san tries putting his foot down. Okay? I was chatting with Misato earlier. No one’s gonna be on his side about this and he’d be a dumbass if he tried putting you on probation.” For a second Riku’s surprised at her support, but Suki has a point about that - Suzuki could fire Riku if he wanted to, but enticing an educated teacher from the city out here is a pain in the ass he wouldn’t risk so easily.
So Riku exhales. He nods. He wasn’t- god, he was being stupid, he didn’t even think about talking to the others. He’s the only male teacher in the school and all the female teachers have at least some kind of soft spot for Megumi, never mind that they’re all older and smarter and more experienced with workplace politics than he is. “Thank you, Suki-san. You’re right.” He bows his head. “And I’m sorry about earlier.”
Suki only shakes her head and squeezes his arm. “It’s fine. Like you said, she’s seven.” Then she pushes Riku out into the hallway when Suzuki’s office door opens. “Now go home! We’ll talk more tomorrow!”
Riku leaves campus feeling pretty rattled, a lot of it being his adrenaline after standing up to his boss. Though it’s not like he regrets anything. Nothing he said was incorrect, at least. Riku knows Sion - he's in no position to be a homeschooler - and he knows Megumi - she’s not unruly enough that she needs to be separated from her peers. It’s an old-school way to look at autism. If she was isolated any more than she already is, her development is as good as fucked and all blame can truly be put right on them. None of his coworkers need that on their consciences and Riku knows he’s smart enough to figure out something for her. It’d probably be complicated if Megumi is only reactive to him, but still, he has to do something. Or else she’ll be tossed aside by the system like- like trash. Or something worse.
So Riku will… he’ll revisit this. He just needs to think first.
The walk home is long. That’s kind of why they drive, actually, it’s close to thirty minutes. But Riku is fine with it. He’s got a lot on his mind and he could use the opportunity to decompress. Realistically, this isn’t the most stressful day he’s had in his teaching career - there was one time back in Tokyo where a kid under his watch had to be expelled and nothing can ever top that - but it’s up there for sure. So Riku sends a message to the group chat he has with the kids: Leave me alone today. Busy being an adult.
Ryo texts back: A date? >_<
Riku thumbs down-reacts to his text. Just go study.
At least he gets home soon enough. Riku dumps his bag in the genkan and immediately strips from head to toe. Really, it’s so fucking humid outside. He showers. Then he dries off. Then he scrounges in his fridge for food, which ends up being natto and rice and egg yolk and some furikake from the cupboard.
“Itadakimasu,” Riku mumbles before he eats. No one else is there to hear him, but still.
It’s been such a long day. Riku’s half tempted to bail on his call with Sion but he knows he probably owes him that much. Despite his very unprofessional feelings, Riku does care for the communication he has with kids’ parents. Especially a kid like Megumi. He lays in bed, closes his eyes, and thinks about what the hell he’s gonna do about Suzuki. Sion doesn’t need to know about any of that yet - it’d be unprofessional if Riku told him, actually - but it’s still worrisome. He was hoping Megumi wouldn’t ever land on Suzuki’s radar. Now she’s gonna get lumped in with the troublemakers when the most disagreeable thing she’s ever done is shove Hitomi, once. Hell, pretty much every boy in Riku’s class has done something worse than that…
Riku sighs. He swipes his phone open and stares at Sion’s contact. Sion-kun. Which was a little presumptuous of him, sure, but a guy can dream to be close enough to Sion to speak casually, right? Riku gave him a contact photo. It’s a bunny meme he found online. He got the idea from Megumi - one time she said sometimes Appa reminds me of a bunny. Appa’s so cute. Riku’s never heard a kid call their dad cute before but it makes sense that Megumi would. Riku should… he should call him now. Otherwise he’s gonna end up falling asleep.
So Riku presses the call button and closes his eyes. Here goes nothing.
This time it rings, again, thrice. Riku keeps his eyes closed as he waits. Soon enough his call is picked up with: “Hello?” Sion sounds a little breathless.
“Hi, Sion-san, it’s me…” Riku feels as awkward as he sounds, which is very. He doesn’t even know what this call is for. Or what he’s supposed to say, for that matter. So Riku asks: “Um. Is this a bad time?”
“Oh, no. It’s not. Megumi’s just- uh.” Sion laughs. “Sorry, I just managed to put her down for a nap. She needed one but she was fighting me…”
Riku blinks. “A nap?” It’s like six PM, what the…
“She’s exhausted,” Sion explains. “And I could use the breather. But she’s gonna wake up again later when she gets hungry, trust me.”
Riku hums. It makes enough sense, he supposes, Sion’s mentioned before that Megumi has weird sleeping patterns. Plus he’s seen with his own eyes just how hungry that kid can get, which is to say that Megumi is ravenous during lunchtime even on a really good day. “That’s good, then,” Riku says. “It’s good that she can sleep. Earlier, she was really…”
There’s a little “oof” sound and then something like a mattress squeak. Sion is in bed, maybe. He only laughs briefly, again breathless. “No, I know. Actually, Daeyoung called me earlier and he was telling me you were getting yelled at or something…”
Oh, god. Riku’s eyes were already closed but he squeezes them shut even more, mildly pissed off. He can’t believe Daeyoung tattled - like, really, he’s gonna punch that kid. “He’s not supposed to tell you that. We have professional obligations to…” Riku inhales; exhales. “It’s fine. The principal doesn’t think we have the resources to help any children with special needs. But I disagree, obviously.”
“Oh. Um, okay…” Sion sounds concerned. And he asks, as any parent would: “Should I be worried about that?”
“No, not at all, he shouldn’t have- that’s none of your concern, actually, I’m making sure of it.” Riku rubs at his eyes and resists the urge to groan. “I would’ve contacted you if it was. I’m going to advocate for Megumi because it’s ridiculous anyway. She doesn’t require the accommodations my boss thinks she does and he won’t listen to me.”
“Your boss?” Sion repeats. He still sounds confused.
“The principal is nosy. The other teachers, we’ve- ugh, I shouldn’t be telling you this,” Riku mumbles. “But we have an agreement, you know, about Megumi. That’s why we’re able to accommodate her, because we’re all on the same page. But the principal doesn’t get the whole- um.” Riku thinks about their meeting and winces. “You don’t need to know what he has to say about disabled kids. But we’re going to figure something out.”
Sion is quiet for a moment. Riku’s not sure why. But then he asks: “...What’d he say.”
Riku should’ve seen that coming. “It’s- Sion-san, trust me, it’s better to ignore it. He’s not worth arguing with. He wants Megumi to be homeschooled.” He runs a hand down his face. “But obviously you can’t do that…”
Sion, again, says nothing for a moment. Riku almost expects him to argue even more. But then he’s quietly agreeing: “That’s true.” And then: “So you’re going to…?”
“If I need to, I’m gonna figure out a way I can keep Megumi under my care. Or-” those logistics sound nightmarish, so Riku sighs. “I don’t know yet. But I’ll do something. People are insensitive but Megumi is generally beloved amongst my colleagues.”
Sion exhales on the other side of the line. “That’s good, I- you’d actually do that for her?” He sounds disbelieving, though. He sounds like he’s expecting Riku to disappoint him. He sounds like the idea is crazy, like Riku hasn’t- like he wouldn’t-
For a second, Riku manages to forget about the kind of relationship they have, and he’s genuinely offended. “Of course I will. I’m not- Sion-san, I’m not going to let anything happen to Megumi. She’s a great kid.”
Riku sounds a little mad and he doesn’t even realize that until he says it. But then the line goes quiet. Riku almost wonders if maybe he was being too stern or something - he knows he can get defensive about the kids - but he’s a little upset that Sion thinks he’s the kind of person to shirk his obligations off at the first sign of pushback, which he is absolutely not.
But then Sion laughs. It’s low, exhausted, but it’s still a laugh. Of all things Sion is laughing, and that is so strange that Riku’s eyes fly open and he sends a weirded-out look to his phone.
“Sensei,” Sion’s voice is a different kind of disbelieving now, “I can’t believe you’re real.”
It comes from out of nowhere, the compliment. Riku doesn’t even- he’s confused. It takes a second to register that. “What?” He can feel his ears turn red. “What does that mean?” He doesn’t know if he’s more embarrassed or incredulous because his voice is almost humiliatingly pitched.
“I mean, I just- I don’t even know.” Sion laughs again and he sounds so, so, so tired. “I can’t believe you’re real. It feels too good to be true. You’re basically my savior.”
Oh. Oh, so- so that’s what he meant. That’s even more embarrassing. Riku’s whole face is red now. “I don’t- I don’t know about that.” For a second he wonders if Sion understands what he sounds like when his voice is that fond, because it makes Riku ache down to his toes. “I’m just doing my job, Sion-san.”
He says that because it’s true, you know. Riku makes special exemptions for Megumi but he’d also make them for anyone who needed them regardless of their dad being hot or not. Riku really prides himself on being good at his job. He’s aware that teaching is a profession that jades you quicker than you realize. Riku’s got the passion and he’s holding onto it for as long as he possibly can. That’s something he swore to himself when he graduated, that for as long as he could, he would fight for his students above all else. It’s, like, his moral obligation.
But even then you can hear the smile in Sion’s voice. “You don’t have to keep saying that it’s just your job. I already know you’re going the extra mile for her, Sensei, no one else would do that.” There’s a long exhale, another breathy laugh. “Maeda-san. Her life’s been uprooted so many times already. And no one’s looked out for her like you have.”
For a second, Riku is almost speechless. Almost. There is something burning, molten hot in his belly. “B-but… what about you, you’ve-”
“Well, I’m her dad, it’s a given,” Sion says. Which, humiliatingly enough, is true. “You’re just- you’re so amazing with her, Sensei. I didn’t think anyone else could ever be so good with my Megumi.”
It’s insane. Riku’s eyes squeeze shut. He doesn’t even- to hear Sion say that in that voice is too much. It makes him feel hot all over. It makes him feel small and vulnerable like he’s being too obvious and Riku doesn’t even know what emotion it is that is making his stomach churn like this. He even tries: “That’s not true…”
But:
“It is,” Sion says, his voice firm again. “Maeda-san, not even her mom could get to stop crying. Megumi is- this is the happiest she’s been in her entire life.”
God. It’s overwhelming. Because Riku obviously doesn’t care for Megumi just because of Sion - she’s a good kid and every good kid deserves to be treated well, and again, he’s got his moral obligations as a teacher. Riku advocates for all of his students without exception. Megumi maybe the most so, sure, but that’s because she needs it.
But no one has ever- Riku doesn’t know if anyone’s ever sounded so fond of him before. He doesn’t often wonder about Megumi’s mom. He doesn’t think it’s his place to think about her at all. But Sion seems to hold Riku in higher regard, at least when it comes to Megumi, and the implications of that make his chest hurt. Riku honestly might cry or do- it feels like he might do something really, really stupid. Riku didn’t think his effort made much of a difference in Megumi’s life, let alone Sion’s, but this is the happiest Riku’s ever heard him sound, too. He’s heard Sion sound frantic and afraid and so unsure of himself. But now he sounds happy.
“I’m just- it’s really my job,” Riku’s voice is tiny. “But Megumi is a really good kid. She’s not a waste of resources. Any teacher could see that.” His hand covers his face. “I don’t want you to think I’m anything special…”
There’s a beat. Just one. And it’s like Riku already knows it’s coming when Sion says: “I already think you’re something very special.”
Wow. Wow, Riku’s burning from his head to his toes. It’s not- he can’t even describe it. It’s not fair that Sion’s voice goes sweet for him like this. Riku’s only heard him talk to Megumi in that loving tone. But Sion, he wouldn’t- not with him. Riku is so plain and boring. He’s just Megumi’s teacher. He’s only-
“I-” Riku doesn’t know what to say. Nothing normal or chill or calm, for that matter, is coming to mind. He mumbles: “S-stop it. I might get an ego…”
“You should.” God, Sion shouldn’t be saying such nice things to people all willy-nilly or else they might be a lovesick idiot getting the wrong impression like Riku is, because he’s definitely getting the wrong impression right now. And yet Sion’s tone is so warm: “Maeda-san, you’re really- you’ve made Megumi so happy. And you-” He inhales. “For me, too.”
Sion’s voice is too fond and the worst thing is that Riku knows why it’s so fond. This man likes him, in some way, this man is the one who flirts with him. But it’s never been like this before. Sion is impossible to read, at times, because he always defaults to putting up some kind of wall once he is too honest. But this is the most honest he’s ever been. Riku’s covering his eyes with his hand. He doesn’t want to push. But god, he’s tempted. For a second he tries to dissuade himself, he really does. But then he dares to whisper: “...For you, what?” He wants to know. He wants to know if to Sion he is only good for Megumi, or if he’s also…
Well. Riku wants to be good for both of them.
The line goes quiet. But Riku can hear Sion’s breathing. It’s not really even or calm, is the thing that makes him almost say something stupid, he’s breathing like how he was earlier when he saw Megumi in Riku’s lap and told him he was amazing.
“I think,” Sion says very slowly, in a voice so low that Riku can feel it echo in his bones, “I think you make me pretty happy, too.”
Riku has to shove a hand over his mouth so he doesn’t hit the sexy man on his phone with one of his classic KYAAAAAAs. Because, like- nope. Just nope. But he feels so full of something he could burst, something that feels like fondness and affection to an extent he’s never felt before. Riku makes a tiny, tiny squeal. That’s all.
There’s the huff of a laugh: “Maeda-san?”
Riku can’t talk right now or else he’ll confess his undying love to this beautiful man. So he tries saying something calmly and- that’s a squeal, too.
Sion laughs. Loudly. “God, you’re so- you’re really-”
“Stop talking!” Riku breaks to wail over the phone. Fuck his professionalism but holy shit, at this rate he will literally die. But Sion only laughs more, which isn’t fair, because he’s an asshole.
“What, I was just gonna say you’re really-”
“No! Stop talking! I’ll hang up!” Riku’s so red he’s probably losing air, but god, he’s really- he’s never felt this before, this need that could burst out of him. “I- Sion-san, please…”
Sion laughs. It’s low, almost fond, and Riku doesn’t want to read into what that means. “Okay, okay. Look, I- I’m just grateful, okay? You’ve really done so much for me and my Gumi.”
Riku fights back another urge to scream. His voice comes out relatively calm: “I mean… I try…” Because it’s true, isn’t it.
And yet:
“Well, I want you to know how much it means to me. Megumi’s-” Sion’s sigh is almost shuttering, deep and guttural like he’s exhaling some of the worry that haunts him all day long. “She’s still little. But things haven’t been easy for her. And I don’t always know if I’m making the right decisions when she needs me to…”
Sion trails off. Riku says, as is his obligation as Megumi’s teacher: “That sounds tough, I’m sorry.”
But Sion hums. He doesn’t sound crestfallen about it, for once. “It’s okay. I’m used to it. I think coming here was the best thing that’s ever happened to her, you know? ‘Cause you’re here. So you’re a really-” Sion breaks into a laugh that almost sounds nervous. “Well. You’re a great decision.”
Riku is curled into a ball in bed. He could hide now. He could run. He wants to run and hide because he didn’t think his affection would ever be returned by this impossibly good man, but Riku says honestly: “I’d like to think that I’m good for her, Sion-san. And you, too.”
Maybe he said too much. For a long minute, the line goes quiet. Sion sighs. It’s fond, somehow, and Riku’s almost convinced it’s because Sion’s fond of him. Right? What else could it be? Riku doesn’t know but he’d like to, is the thing. But then there’s the sound of a door sliding open and there’s a faint voice in the background. Appa? Sion answers with some murmuring. There’s more talking in Korean and then the door slides again and there are footsteps retreating and-
“She’s hungry. So I gotta go and prepare her for tomorrow, ‘cause-” Sion chuckles. “Well. I feel bad for you, I’m sorry. Megumi’s learning about consequences.”
“It’s okay,” Riku manages a smile. He can’t imagine that Sion has it much easier on that front. He’s much more practiced with damage control, it seems, plus there’s far more on the line as her parent. So just this once, Riku will let him get away with changing the subject. But only just this once…
Sion laughs. It’s a low, tired laugh. “Eh, it’s fine. But I’ll see you, okay? Tomorrow morning. And I won’t forget her kiss again, that’s my fault.” You can hear the smile in Sion’s voice. “Maeda-san, sleep well. And I’m really- I mean. Megumi’s very excited to see you in the morning. Okay?”
Wow, he’s so- Riku didn’t think Sion would ever let himself act so obvious. It’s so cute. Riku laughs despite himself. “Okay. I’m excited to see Megumi, too.”
Sion laugh is much more nervous the second time around. “Okay, well, that’s-that’s good!”
There are a few more pleasantries exchanged and then Riku’s hanging up the phone. It feels so… he doesn’t even know what this emotion is, holy shit. Riku doesn’t think he’s ever felt quite so endeared before, burning from his insides out because he’s so- he likes Sion so much. That’s the thing; he just likes Sion so, so much.
He can’t be in love with him - not even Riku is that stupid - but he’s… it’s something a little too close for his liking.
Riku buries into his pillow. He’s exhausted. He doesn’t have any more KYAAAs left in him. But his hand curls into his sheets as his phone buzzes with a text. It’s from Sion, he already knows, he’s already memorized the pattern of when he texts. He feels it down to his bones, the buzz, the familiar hum, the timbre of his voice-
Riku peeks an eye out to read it: Maeda-san, I hope you sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.
It’s silly. It’s really silly. But Riku grins a big, big, big grin into his pillow and he really, really, really can’t wait.
˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖
If Riku thought he was whipped before, he has no idea what’s coming for him next. Like, absolutely no idea at all.
The next day, Sion is almost… it’s hard to describe him. He’s almost jolly. That’s a weird word to use but it’s literally true. He’s smiley to the point Daeyoung asks if he’s okay, to which Sion happily replies: “I’m doing great!” as he drops Megumi off at school, who seems similarly cheery. On both fronts, it’s a little bizarre.
Riku is vaguely intimidated for reasons he can’t fully explain. But that’s mostly because Sion used to always make a point to put up a wall, to some extent, whenever they were around each other. Today he does no such thing. Sion squeezes Riku’s shoulder and says in a very warm voice: “Good morning, Sensei.”
“Um… hi.” Riku’s never turned red so fast in his life because he has no memory of Sion ever being this happy to see him. It’s almost embarrassing. He’s lucky that there aren’t any other parents in the room to witness him turn as red as a tomato, but he can’t help it anyway - being called Sensei in a voice like that is-
It’s not good for his health. Like, at all.
“Gumi’s ready to, um. Take on the day.” Sion pats Megumi’s head, who’s already looking up at him with wide eyes.
“Hi, Sensei…” She’s more shy than usual. She must be embarrassed about yesterday. Though she’s smiling, which is good, because Megumi’s not someone who can fake her cheeriness - hopefully that's a positive premonition for the day ahead of them.
“Hi, Gumi-chan. Are you feeling better?” Riku manages a smile when she nods. “That’s good. Did you get your kiss from your Appa?”
At that, Megumi sends Sion a sideways glance, who smiles something guilty. “Sorry, baby.” But he leans down and pecks her on the forehead and Megumi seems satisfied by that, at least, because she’s squeezing a hug around his waist before she’s running off with her bag.
And, well. Hopefully today goes alright.
“I tried not to make her feel too bad, but she’s learning about consequences,” Sion says, scratching at his neck. “She knows to apologize to… um. What’s the girl’s name?”
“Hitomi?” Riku asks. He can’t help but find this version of Sion’s nonchalant parenting very amusing.
“Yeah, her. And Maku. Sachiko and I talked. He’s gonna learn about autism, I guess.” Sion laughs a little nervously. “It’s making me realize she should get tested. But I don’t know how to do it in a way that isn’t traumatizing.”
“That’s fair,” Riku nods. He wonders if Sion’s also aware of the diagnosis statistics for girls, though he’s having a hard time seeing how a psychologist could spin Megumi’s behavior any other way. “Well, it doesn’t have to be now. We can manage her here.”
Riku gives Sion what he hopes is a warm smile. Sion’s expression softens and that makes Riku’s stomach almost drop to his ass. Almost. He’s pretty sure it comes off casual enough.
“Yeah, well. You can still contact me if you need to. For emergencies…” Sion’s smile is a little too handsome. “Or for other things, too.”
Riku has to avert his eyes before he does something stupid like confess to him right here and right now. He brushes some hair behind his ear and nods. “Of course…” They already text plenty but the idea makes him blush. Like one of their meals actually being shared or something…
“Then I should get to work.” Sion squeezes his shoulder, again, except this time he brushes his thumb over his clavicle like he did yesterday and- ugh. It’s not fair. Sion lets go after a moment - a pointed moment - but the touch lingers. He calls: “Gumi, Appa’s leaving.”
“Bye, Appa!” Megumi calls. She’s in a huddle with Maku, uncaring about Sion or Riku, which is… new. Sion shoots Riku a look and Riku only shrugs.
“She’s adjusting,” Riku offers. “Sorry?”
Sion shakes his head. “No, it’s good. I’ll get over it.” He chuckles. “Okay, Sensei, I’ll see you.”
Sion’s gone with a wave and Riku can only offer his own in reply. Sion often comes into this classroom like a whirlwind but today the energy was a lot different from usual. Almost… he almost seems more settled in the routine, if such a thing is possible for a parent as neurotic as he is. Riku stares after him. He’s feeling very, very confused. Not necessarily in the bad way, either, he’s just really confused.
“Wow,” Daeyoung drawls from the desk. “He’s, like, glowing. It’s kinda sexy.” He wiggles his eyebrows when Riku turns back to stare at him. “Senpai, it looks like you’ll have him locked down any day now, eh?”
“Shut up,” Riku flushes, smacking him in the arm. “Go back to work. You’re annoying.”
Daeyoung only cackles. And, well, life moves on.
Megumi isn’t super different since the meltdown but it seems like she’s slightly more trusting of the class as a whole, which Riku is confused about until Sion offers that Megumi didn’t trust anyone unless her dad was with her, not until the day of her meltdown. Which is… that’s something Riku can’t think too hard about or else he’ll cry. Megumi’s still pretty bad at communicating with the other kids in a way that doesn’t come off as abrasive, but she can learn with time. Or at least she can learn some tricks. Riku purchases some workbooks online and makes a point to sign himself up for an online class for teachers who want to learn how to help kids with special needs - this town will never have the resources capable of supporting a kid like Megumi, but Riku will still give it his best go.
Overall the changes aren’t super potent but Riku still feels overly aware of them. Such as Sion, for one. He doesn’t actually act very differently besides this new, open attitude he has around Riku, but Riku chooses to be cautiously optimistic about that even though it’s secretly kind of making him nervous. They’ve been flirting around each other for about a month now and he doesn’t want to push. Or at least not yet. Riku is mindful of Sion’s past and everything he doesn’t know yet. He doesn’t want to be too selfish with Sion’s time. But they text and on occasion they even call, though Riku can never last too long hearing Sion’s voice in his ear. You need to build your tolerance, Daeyoung suggests at one point. Riku throws a pillow at his head.
But Riku wants to tell him. He- he wants to confess. And he won’t, of course - that’d be irresponsible of him, wouldn’t it? - but he still wants to. Sion is so genuine and he’s so handsome and he’s so nice and Riku's heartbeat won’t calm down anymore. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. It’s a bad idea; Riku knows Sion’s hangups and he’s not sure, not yet, if he’s something whom Sion would prioritize even as half as he prioritizes Megumi. And that’s a lot to ask for, Riku knows, but he has needs too. He doesn’t exactly enjoy being a mere afterthought. So he…
He’s just not sure. Not yet. Sion is particular who he keeps close to Megumi and Riku wants to deserve the proximity. Which is maybe a little selfish of him, yeah. But Riku wants what he wants. And he wants Sion.
So.
Summer is crawling on. They’re getting closer to break, and more importantly the festival. The kids are getting more difficult to corral in class but that happens every year regardless of where you’re teaching. Riku’s trying to enjoy the time while it lasts. He can deal with the Sion stuff later, he can figure out how to properly woo the DILF of his dreams when he actually has the time. He doesn't think he can confess, but he can do something that will show Sion that he means business, too. Right?
But that’ll come later. Right now summer break is so soon that Riku can almost taste it…
It’s funny. The Sion stuff is funny, mostly because no matter how much Riku tells himself not to think about it, he still does anyway. He gets the gift idea when he’s out shopping with Ryo. They don’t go to the city part of Kyoto very often but both Ryo and his sister have birthdays coming up very soon and they prefer getting their cakes from this specific bakery in the city. Riku borrows Daeyoung’s shitty pick-up and they take the drive together.
“I didn’t know you could drive.” Ryo’s got his hand limply hanging out of the open window. And he’s wearing Riku’s clothes, for some reason, some old hand-me-downs from years and years ago that are still way too big on him.
“It’s been a while,” Riku admits. Driving doesn’t make him nervous but this truck certainly does. Normally he’d keep the windows closed but the AC hardly works and so the summer breeze will have to do. He tries to stay focused on the road: “Just don’t distract me, okay?”
“‘Kay,” Ryo says noncommittally, which doesn’t bode well for anything. And then: “Can I put on music?”
“You have to use the radio,” Riku tells him. But then his cousin brandishes a Doyoung CD from seemingly nowhere and Riku groans. “Oh my god. Of course.”
“How often do I get to listen to these!” Ryo leans far enough over that his seatbelt strains. “Indulge me, Nii-chan. Soon I’m gonna be off at college and you’re gonna miss Doyoung.”
“I’m gonna miss you, not Doyoung!” Riku admonishes. But Ryo puts the CD in anyway, and so the rest of the drive is spent to the croon of Ryo’s favorite idol.
Using a car in the city is always weird. It takes them ages to find inexpensive parking that doesn’t involve any fancy maneuvers, as Riku’s too rusty to attempt any moves in this truck (and also he doesn’t even know how to parallel park to begin with). But eventually they find an empty street corner that’s in close-enough proximity to the bakery. Riku deems the spot good enough and parks.
“We’re gonna have to carry the cakes back,” he reminds Ryo before they take off. “You didn’t order anything too crazy, did you?”
“Nope,” Ryo promises, though his mischievous smile says otherwise. But that’s fine. It’s not like Riku isn’t used to it.
So:
They shop a bit before they head to the bakery. They get matcha drinks, which Riku thinks are a little too bitter. They parse through a few tourist shops. Ryo buys a keyring for Sakuya to add to his ever-growing collection. Riku isn’t as interested in those things as the kids are but there’s one of a yellow cat with a book that reminds him of Megumi, for some reason.
Riku blinks at it. It’d be weird if he got this for Sion, right? Yeah, it would be. It’d also make it seem like Riku thinks about his daughter outside of school hours, which, to be fair, he does. But that’s because Riku’s been trying to figure out some kind of failsafes he can implement for her, okay, it’s not anything weird…
He ends up shaking his head and leaving it be. Because, like, yeah, there’s no reason to make moves on Sion when he’s trying to learn some patience. But then a cartoon monkey keychain catches his eye and Riku almost caves. Almost.
That is just- it’s so Megumi. But it’d be weird, right? It’d be so weird! And Riku doesn’t want to come off weird, he’s taking things nice and slowly and as calm as he can and-
“Nii-chan,” Ryo calls from the cash register, “are you ready to go?”
“Yeah,” Riku says, grateful for the distraction. “Let’s head out.”
The bakery isn’t actually that far at all. It’s a doable walk from the car, at least. Ryo gives the lady at the register his reservation number and Riku wanders around the display cases while they wait for her to get the cakes. These desserts are really good-looking. Riku isn’t a huge fan of sweets but this is, once again, reminding him of Sion. He mentioned several times that cake is his favorite but he never really gets to have it because Megumi’s locked in on ice cream. And apparently Sion doesn’t splurge on treats unless it’s something they can share. Riku parses through the different options and tries to act like he’s not tempted even though he very much is.
There’s just a particular one he’s stuck on. A tiny chocolate cake, small enough to fit in his palm. It’s sparsely decorated. It has mousse in it. Riku remembers Sion mentioning he likes chocolate mousse a lot. Apparently there was a bakery he’d always go to when he lived in Seoul…
Riku stares. It’d be weird if he got it, like, almost certainly. Sion would probably be weirded out. Right? Riku’s done that kind of thing for people in the past - the rampant gift-giving, that is - and they all thought it was a little strange of him. But Sion is so- he never gets nice things. He never does nice things for himself, either. Riku knows that for sure. Sion is frugal even when he doesn’t need to be. He splurges on Megumi but never himself.
Riku bites his lip. It’s weird, but he wants to- he’s gonna do it. Because, like, yeah. He just thinks he should. How often is it that anyone does anything nice for Sion anyway? For all intents and purposes, this could be a completely platonic gift…
Right? Right.
“Excuse me,” Riku calls to a worker. “Could I get one of these wrapped up?”
It’s worth it, Riku thinks later. Er, at least it seems worth it, but only time can really tell. They waddle back to the car with two gigantic cakes and Sion’s tiny gift balanced precariously on top. Riku didn’t have the heart to tell Ryo he bought it for Sion, so he says it’s for a coworker as to ensure the kid won’t eat it when his back is turned. At least that works. Ryo can be well-behaved when he needs to be.
Though carrying the birthday cakes is a fucking endeavor. “Do you guys really need one each,” Riku grunts. God, his arms are tired.
“Nee-san only likes vanilla and I like chocolate,” Ryo grouches. “And I’m not compromising!”
They get the cakes into the car unscathed, though. And it’ll be worth it considering that now Auntie won’t have to take the trek herself like she usually insists on. That’s the best thing about Riku being close to this side of his family out here in Kyoto. Their moms only have each other, and both Ryo and his sister are very…
Well. They’re well-loved kids. And maybe just a little spoiled. So Riku doesn’t mind breaking his back every now and again for his family.
The drive back to town is easy. Ryo puts on a different Doyoung CD, which he’s somehow been carrying around with him, and Riku lets him. The sun’s setting and casting orange, pink, yellow over the fields and forests. The humidity’s not so bad racing down the rural road. Though they hit a particularly awful pothole that makes both of them scream.
“My cake!” Ryo shrieks as he’s bounced about three feet into the air.
“Who cares about the cake!” Riku grits his teeth as his own head hits the ceiling of the truck, throwing out his arm so his baby cousin doesn’t get dislodged from this evil, evil vehicle that one day is going to kill them. The cakes end up being fine, though. Thank god.
(Never mind that the truck is definitely cursed. Riku’s gonna figure out a way he can convince Daeyoung to sage the damn thing…)
Riku drops Ryo off first, helping him bring the cakes in. They take up half the freezer but Auntie’s so happy with it all that Riku keeps his mouth shut even as she needles at him: “Kuu-chan, honey, you’re not staying for dinner?”
“I have to drop something off at a friend’s house, sorry,” Riku says, giving his aunt a hug. “I’m really sorry! But I’ll stop by tomorrow!”
He ends up staying at their house a little longer than he’d like to but eventually Riku manages to escape. Though once he’s alone in the truck, he wonders if he should really go through with giving Sion the cake or not. After all, it’s probably a little weird, right? Riku sends the cake sitting in the passenger seat a sideways glance. Hmm…
He ends up texting Sion: Are you free rn?
Riku stares at his phone for a moment but there’s no response. So he busies himself by shuffling through radio stations only to realize those fucking Doyoung CDs were really that much better than the top 40. But then Riku’s phone buzzes.
Lol kinda. I just finished helping Takeda out with some projects around his house. Why?
Riku scratches at his cheek. He’d like to give it to him now, even better if Megumi’s not around. It sounds like Sion’s doing solo work, right? So Riku asks: Where are you?
Sion responds after only a second: Right now I’m slamming Pocari Sweats at the playground. I look awful btw.
That’s just- for some reason, that makes Riku smile. It’s mostly because he really, really doubts that Oh Sion knows what it’s like to look awful. Even after… what, was he doing manual labor at Takeda’s? So Riku texts back: Can I stop by? I have a gift for you.
At that, Sion’s typing bubble pops up so fast it’s almost impressive. But then it disappears. But then it reappears, disappears, then- A GIFT?
Yeah. Is that okay? Riku really hopes he’s not being weird. Ugh.
And yet this is how Sion responds: Yeah but I don’t have a gift for you!!!
Riku laughs. He literally laughs, like out loud and into the quiet of the car as the crickets drone on around him. Something about Sion is just so- he’s so silly. And so, so, so endearing. It makes him want to give him gifts all the time. And maybe he should, huh, it’s not like Sion ever gets gifts for himself…
So Riku texts him back: I don’t care. I’m on my way. DON’T MOVE!!!
The playground is only a three minute or so drive away from Ryo’s house. Riku doesn’t rush or anything but he feels half-terrified, half-giddy. He knows that Sion probably wouldn’t be weirded out but some anxiety is always healthy, right. Riku’s not exactly the best at reading social cues in the world. Hence his disastrous dating history. So he tries not to focus on that, right, because maybe Sion will fucking love this cake.
Right? Maybe he’ll love it. It’s not like he gets special treats very often to begin with…
Riku ends up pulling up to the curb in a bit of an awkward way since you’re not really supposed to park there, but like, whatever. It’s not like anyone actively patrols the area at this time of day. So Riku grabs the cake and opens the truck door. And then he immediately forgets he’s in a truck and stumbles his way out. “Eurgh!”
The cake ends up being fine in his hands - seriously, thank god - but he lands weird on his ankle. Of course he does. Riku’s so exhausted of his own antics.
“What’s wrong with me,” he murmurs. Then he wriggles his ankle around and pain shoots up his calf. Fucking hell, of all things to happen right now…
“Sensei?” Of course Sion finds him like this. Riku’s yell probably woke up the whole block. He watches hopelessly as Sion rounds the truck and glances between the vehicle and Riku. His face is worried. “Hey, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Riku hisses. His ankle can take weight fine, but ugh, it hurts. Except that’s when Riku takes a proper look at Sion and he squints. “Why are you covered in grass?”
“I was landscaping,” Sion smiles sheepishly, like that’s an apt explanation for anything. “I help out the elderly in town. I show up and they tell me what they need done, that kind of thing…”
Wow. Sion says it like that’s no big deal at all but Riku’s a little struck by his humble nonchalance on the matter. Who the hell just goes around fixing up peoples’ houses for them? Sion, obviously. Of course he does. He’s a great guy and that’s why Riku’s not in love with him but he’s maybe slowly getting there.
But then Riku makes a face. It’s because of his ankle, it fucking hurts. “...Can we sit down.”
Sion smiles. “Yeah. Let me help you, c’mere.”
It’s not Riku’s proudest moment but Sion comes over to wrap a very strong arm around his waist, one that Riku is trying not to be too taken by. He’s- fuck, he’s really strong. The cake is balanced in his palm but Riku clutches it to his chest just in case. He might swoon again and he doesn’t need another failure on his conscience today, thus he’s protecting this cake with his fucking life.
“What’s that?” Sion tries only once, though his voice is simply innocent and curious.
“A secret,” Riku tells him. “Don’t look. I won’t let you.”
They end up on a bench. That’s good. For a second Riku was worried Sion was gonna do something psychopathic like take him to the swing set. But Sion sets him down with a little grunt and Riku just breathes for a second, leaning sideways against the backrest. He closes his eyes. Because of course his grand gesture to Sion would go like this. It’s already a fucking disaster.
But then Riku squints an eye open and he realizes Sion is just standing there and hovering over him. “...Sit,” Riku prods.
“I think you sprained your ankle,” Sion points out, his expression incredibly concerned. But he sits down anyway. “Do you need me to look at it?”
And, well. Hm. Riku has to think about that for a second because he almost says yes, you know, like an idiot. But he manages to hold off because that’s not romantic in the least. It’s a shoujo trope, sure, but even Riku can admit that in a lot of ways real life sucks way more than manga does - he’s been walking all day and the last thing he needs is to be humbled by sock odor or something equally humiliating.
So:
“No, it’s okay,” Riku shakes his head. But he turns to Sion and offers up the cake with a small smile, more subdued than he means for it to be but no less well-meaning. “Here. This is for you.”
Admittedly the cake is in rougher shape than it was three hours ago. A lot of the chocolate’s gotten smushed on the box because it was jostled so much in the car. But it’s in one piece, at least, and that’s what matters. Riku sets the box down on the bench between them and laughs a little when Sion only looks very, very confused.
“What is…” Sion looks at it closely. Then he blinks. “Did you- did you get me a cake?”
“I did,” Riku says. He tries not to act coy about it but it’s hard not to when Sion’s looking down at the little cake in wonder like it’s the most curious thing he’s ever seen. “My cousin and I went to a bakery earlier and I remembered how you said you don’t get to eat it much because of Gumi…”
He trails off. It’s hard not to feel a little embarrassed when Sion’s looking at him with an open expression of awe on his face. But that’s- his eyes are so intimidating. Sometimes Sion gets like that, staring so intensely that Riku doesn’t know what to do or say. But this time it’s in a good way, he thinks. Or, well. He hopes.
“Oh. Wow.” Sion licks his lips as he glances down at the cake and then back up at Riku. “I didn’t- you didn’t have to get me one, you know.”
“I know that. It just reminded me of you.” Riku kicks a little at the dirt under his feet and tries not to get petulant about it. “You never get yourself anything. So I wanted to...”
Riku’s voice trails off. Sion doesn’t say anything for a long, long moment. It’s long enough that Riku peeks back over at him. But Sion’s already staring - he always is, isn’t he - and very slowly, his face breaks into a smile. And that is- wow. Wow, he’s so handsome.
“Really?” Sion asks. Like, you know, a dumbass. “You were just…? You wanted to get me something…?”
“It reminded me of you.” Riku knows his face is red. It’s dark enough he can pretend it isn’t, though there’s a street lamp not far away that leaves half of him in the shadows. Riku scratches at his arm. Ergh, the mosquitoes are out. “And I just… I wanted to do something nice for you since you never do anything for yourself… and you said you missed eating cake, so…”
Riku’s so embarrassed all of a sudden. Mostly because Sion’s not really saying anything. But then Sion’s slowly setting the cake down against the bench. “Sorry, I just- I don’t really-” Sion laughs. Like, actually laughs. “I didn’t think you’d remember. It’s been so long since anyone has- uh- haha, I just-”
Riku blinks. Sion’s eyes are avoiding Riku’s, his hands nervously wringing in his lap while he keeps laughing all awkwardly. It’s like he’s trying to laugh this off. Laugh what off, the cake? The gesture? Riku’s not hurt but he’s a little- he's confused.
So Riku asks: “...Sion-san?”
It’s just a little weird. It’s a weird reaction, is what it is, because Riku’s never met someone who is so fucking bad at accepting gifts in his entire life. “I-I’m just really surprised,” Sion blinks hard and his eyes are doing this weird rapidly-fluttering thing. “I didn’t think- I don’t- I don’t know if I deserve this, haha, it’s just- it’s funny…”
It takes Riku a very long moment to realize that Sion’s crying. Or, well, not crying. But he’s wiping at his eyes with shaking hands and that’s impossible to ignore. Riku is even more confused now. He reaches out, though he hesitates actually putting a hand on Sion’s shoulder. Riku blinks. “Sion-san? Are you… are you alright?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. You’re just so- you’re really nice, Sensei.” Sion laughs again, both hands rubbing at his eyes, though this time much more aggressively. “No one has- it’s been- wow.” His laugh is wet, empty. “It’s been so long since anyone’s done this kind of thing for me.”
Riku stares as Sion’s hands shake, using his shirt to wipe his face. Then he makes a face. “Eugh, grass.” Riku doesn’t- does he, what? Should he hug him? What the fuck does he do?
“You deserve nice things done for you,” Riku decides to tell him honestly. “You- you really don’t do anything for yourself, Sion-san. And you should.” He means every word he says but Sion only laughs, again and again, every inch of him trembling.
“Ah. Haha. I don’t-” Sion’s laugh is wet again. “I don’t know about that. I’ve got- my kid’s so- she’s…” He trails off as he stares down at the cake. And then more tears just pour and pour and pour. “Everything I do, I gotta- Gumi comes first…”
Riku can’t help but stare, though he presses in a little closer. He wants to touch him, but- he settles with a hand on Sion’s shoulder. “That’s why I got you the cake. Because I’m... um.” Riku squeezes. “You need someone looking out for you, too.”
He means it. Or, well, he means everything. Megumi is a very well-loved kid. No one in the world would doubt that. As far as a kid of a single parent goes she is self assured, confident, perfectly aware that she is doted on. It’s always been impressive. Riku’s continuously been in awe of Sion because Megumi is the product of someone who really cares and isn’t afraid to show that. But behind the loving, overbearing parent, is this all there really is? There’s only Sion, who cries and presses his hands to his eyes like that’ll get the tears to stop. Sion sobs and then he laughs.
It’d be funny if it weren’t so fucking sad. Sion is crying and laughing almost hysterically. His head rolls to the side and Riku moves in so he can- “Maeda-san, you’re so-” Sion meets him halfway. He rests his head on Riku’s shoulder and he cries: “I told you. You’re too good to be true.”
Riku doesn’t know what to say because that’s not true at all. He’s not anything special in the grand scheme of things. He’s an elementary school teacher in a peeling apartment who spends most of his time on his job because it’s just better to have something to put all of his energy into. He watches Sion’s fingers fiddle at his shirt and without meaning to, Riku reaches out. His fingers curl into Sion’s. And he says very, very slowly: “I think you’re too good in a lot of ways, too.” Riku’s voice is low. “We can both be good…”
Sion turns his head and laugh-cries a little more into Riku’s shoulder. He’s not sure if that’s a good thing or not. But Sion’s pressing his whole face there like he wants to merge into him and he’s still crying. He’s sniffling. He’s nothing like Megumi when she cries; Megumi wails. Sion sniffles like he’s afraid to make too much noise. “I’m not good,” Sion laughs. It’s not one of mirth, he sounds devastated. And then he says: “Riku, I’m not good at all.”
Riku jolts. Just a tiny bit. He’s never heard his given name come out of Sion’s mouth before. Of course he offered it up months ago, but that was more of a formality since Sion is Korean and the last name thing gets kinda muddy. But Sion’s voice is low, nearly a croon, and he says his name with so much fondness even when he says something so cruel about himself.
“That’s… that’s not true,” Riku mumbles in response. Why does he feel so red? He squeezes Sion’s fingers. “I think you’re a very good man. You’re…” He licks his lips when Sion presses in closer. “You’re really…”
He doesn’t even know how to say it; he doesn’t know what to say. Does he tell Sion the truth? I like you, I like you so much, when you touch me every nerve ending in my body comes alive and I can barely contain it, how much I like you. But Sion laughs again. And even more fond this time, he calls: “Riku.”
“Yes…?” Riku breathes. Is he breathing? He can barely breathe, actually. But he feels helpless against Sion saying his name in that tone, with all the affection in just those two syllables. Sion’s fingers squeeze his. His hand is warm, calloused, fitting so well in his. Riku feels so, so helpless…
The moment is nothing particularly poignant in the grand scheme of, like, life. But Sion turns his head. It’s still resting against Riku’s shoulder but he’s looking at him. He’s looking right at him, his tears half-dry. Riku looks down. He doesn’t often look Sion in the eyes, but he’s even more handsome like this. Sion’s next laugh is breathless.
“Riku, I like you so much,” Sion says. “But I don’t think I should.”
It’s- it’s terrible. In a way he knew it was coming, but still. Riku’s heart really falls out of his ass this time. Sion says it almost like a coo. I like you so much.
Riku swallows down a breath and forces himself to speak as he squeezes Sion’s fingers again. “Why- why not?” He sounds so eager even just in those two words, holy shit.
But Sion doesn’t seem to particularly care that Riku is overeager and pathetic and docile to his every breath. “I’ve fucked up my life before. Really badly. No matter what I do, Megumi comes before everything, even me.” Sion squeezes his hand again. “But I really…” He presses in a little closer.
This is- of course this is exactly what he’s been waiting for for months. Of course it is. But Riku doesn’t even know what the fuck to say because Sion is confessing to him in the same way you’d reject someone. “Well. I like you too…” Riku averts his eyes that time, blushing and embarrassed. He doesn’t know why he says it. Would that convince Sion to take the risk, or- or is he still not worth it?
Except Sion smiles in his peripheral. It’s a real, genuine smile. He sniffles again. “You do?”
Riku nods, his face red. “Yeah…”
It’s not funny but Sion chuckles. God, the sound’s so low it’s in his bones. “Can you say it again?” Sion asks. “Can you tell me you-”
“I like you a lot,” Riku whispers. Sion’s hand squeezes his tight, tight, tight. “I really, really like you…”
He means it. Of course he does. He’s been holding this in for weeks and now it wants to come spilling out, Riku just doesn’t know where to begin. Sion closes his eyes as a tear slips down his cheek. “Hm.” The noise is almost thoughtful. Sion’s free hand comes up to brush against Riku’s jaw. “Do you? I think you’re starting to convince me.”
Riku squeezes his eyes shut. He can’t tell if Sion’s doing this on purpose or not, being so insecure that it makes Riku wants to tell him everything. So he whispers, “You’re mean.” But when Sion’s thumb slides over his chin, Riku tells him: “I like you. A lot. I like you so much that-”
“I’m not a good guy,” Sion tells him. He sounds dead-serious this time, like they’re talking about two different things. “I’m a divorcee, I’m a single dad, I’m not-”
“Shut up,” Riku mumbles, honestly feeling a little petulant like he’s a child or something. He’s pouting. “I don’t care. I like you.”
There’s a moment where neither of them say anything. Like, nothing at all. But then Sion is sighing a heavy thing, his fingers are skating Riku’s jaw and turning his head so they’re looking at each other in the eyes again. His gaze is intense. His eyes are red-rimmed. This is deadly serious for Sion, too, Riku can tell instantly. His hands are still trembling. That’s impossible to ignore.
“Riku, I’m terrible for you,” Sion breathes. He smiles. “I’m really- I’m not good. I’ve got a lot-”
“I like you,” Riku doesn’t relent, because of course he doesn’t. “And I-”
“I am not a good guy and if you- if you hurt me in here,” Sion smiles with tears in his eyes and rests a fist right over his heart. “Riku. I need it to be real in here. Or else I’ll die.”
This is probably the most dramatic confession Riku’s ever received. That’s the first thing he thinks, and for a second he just- he stares. Of course Sion is dramatic; this is the Sion he was looking for when he wanted to crawl under his skin. He’s- he’s much smaller, much more vulnerable, much more tired. Riku doesn’t know why he’s surprised, because he shouldn’t be. And yet it’s…
This is how Sion sees himself. Delicate. He’s more delicate than Riku thought he was.
So Riku’s fingers curl into his lap and then he reaches out. He covers Sion’s fist with his own hand and he squeezes as hard as he can. Riku watches Sion’s eyes widen almost imperceptibly. He’s been watching Sion for weeks. He knows what that jaded, teasing, stoicism means. And Riku says: “Sion-san, I like you.”
He’s not so easily dissuaded. Of course not. Even with Sion’s fist over his sternum Riku can feel Sion’s heartbeat echoing in his fingers. It’s so quick. Ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump. This is the closest he’s ever been allowed to touch. His hand makes Sion’s fist look tiny and he squeezes harder because he means it.
“I-” Sion falters. Something in his eyes flickers, too fast for Riku to try and understand what it is. His thumb strokes over the jut of Riku’s jaw and comes to a slow, slow stop. And then Sion says, of all things: “I- if you like me, no take backs.”
And that is- that so stupid. Riku pouts a little bit. “I’m not. I like you.”
Sion’s hands are trembling. Riku always knew to some extent that he was a teasing asshole but this is new. Even Sion’s voice shakes. “But I’m- are you sure?”
Riku’s a little peeved now because he’s firm in his confession and he means it. “Of course I’m sure, how are you being so-”
Sion laughs. It’s watery. “Sorry, I just-”
“Sion-san,” Riku says in a low voice, as threatening as he can manage. “You’re being really-” But then Riku’s cutting himself off because that’s when Sion kisses him.
And, well. Well.
He’s not expecting it. He figured they might’ve ended up doing this at one point but this is- this is a little surprising because Sion was just lamenting himself in a way that was, frankly, quite upsetting. Riku makes a little wounded noise and Sion leans away.
“What’s wrong?” He asks. “Did you not-”
“You’re mean,” is all Riku can think to complain. And then he, too, pulls him in again.
It’s a very innocent kiss all things considered. Like a long, drawn-out peck. But Sion’s covered in grass and his hand rests on Riku’s nape, so big and warm. Like it belongs there. Riku wants to melt into him. He would if he could. He’d seep into Sion’s skin and show him how good he is. He’d whisper it into his ear until he believes it: I like you because you’re wonderful, I like you because you’re a good man, the only one who thinks you’re bad is you.
But they separate after only a moment. They’re both a little out of breath, which is funny, because they hardly did anything at all. But Sion’s staring at him and he looks fond again.
“You’re actually really bad for me,” Sion smiles something that is almost bitter. “Riku, I think you could ruin my life if you wanted to.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t.” Riku huffs a little because he’s embarrassed, but he takes the opportunity to lean into Sion’s shoulder. He smells like sweat and grass. It should be gross but it’s actually- god. He’s so sexy.
Sion hums. “Yeah. ‘Cause you’re good.”
Riku leans against him even harder. “No, you.”
They both laugh. It’s dumb and also anti-climactic considering the weeks they’ve been skirting around each other. But it’s- it’s good. And the cake is still unscathed. At least there’s that. Riku rubs his face into Sion’s shoulder. He’s nice and sturdy there.
“Don’t talk badly about yourself around me. I really… I really like you…” Riku exhales and curls a hand around Sion’s bicep. He peeks an eye up at him. “Okay? Seriously.”
Sion looks like he still doesn’t quite believe him, but he nods. “Okay.” His eyes are dry now, at least, then he exhales something fond as he rests a long arm around Riku’s shoulders to bring him in even closer. “Okay, then let’s kiss again.”
Riku isn’t particularly amused, but he still smiles when Sion leans down to peck him again. “You’re so-” He’s pecked again. “You’re actually kind of lame.”
“Yeah, I was trying to tell you that.” Sion’s hand is firm on him, like he belongs here, bringing Riku in closer by the nape. He smiles into his mouth. “Mm. But you’re so pretty.”
Riku is- he’s speechless. He only mumbles: “Stop talking…”
The kissing is languid for what it is. In a way Riku can’t tell if that’s because they’re both afraid to take things further or if it’s because they’re both perfectly aware that this is as far things should go. Eventually Riku ducks his head again and smiles into Sion’s shoulder. “Let’s eat this cake before something bad happens to it,” Riku says. He grins even more when Sion’s palm squeezes over his nape, and he says: “And you smell, so.”
“That’s not nice,” Sion parrots. But he presses his lips to Riku’s forehead very, very briefly, and says: “Stay here. I’ll get spoons from the store.”
Riku pouts. “But-”
“Stay put.” Except it’s more of an order that time, and so Riku stays put.
It doesn’t take Sion very long. He jogs down the street to the convenience store and he’s back within five minutes. Riku’s impressed but then he realizes there is no world in which Sion, a handyman and farmer boy by trade, isn’t infinitely more in shape than him. Oh well. That’s both a very good and very unfortunate thing for him depending on the kind of man Oh Sion is when he’s dating someone.
“I thought you didn’t like sweets,” Sion says as he passes Riku a spoon. They sit with the cake between them.
“I don’t. But I worked hard to get this to you, I want some.” Riku waits for Sion to take a bite before he does. Then Riku makes a face. “Eugh, too sweet.”
“God. This is so good.” Sion experiences something spiritual as he takes a gigantic spoonful off the top and shoves it in his mouth. Riku would be more judgemental if it weren’t cute for some really weird reason. And then Sion’s leveling with him with a look. “Riku. Thank you.”
“For the cake?” Riku blinks at him. “Or…?”
“Everything,” Sion says. “But if I had to be specific, your face.”
Riku makes a displeased noise as his face goes red. Sion laughs. He’s so handsome that it’s not fair. He takes another tiny bite before giving up. “You’re… kind of annoying.”
“I know,” Sion agrees easily. “But you said no take backs.”
Riku can’t help himself. He grins. “Yeah, I did.”
Sion demolishes pretty much all of the cake by himself. After Riku finds out he’s been doing manual labor all day, it makes much more sense. Sion keeps one arm around him as his right hand shovels at the cake with his spoon and Riku is half-impressed at Sion’s ability to pay equal attention to both him and the dessert. He only asks: “Gumi’s with Tokuno?”
“Yup. She’s gonna be pissed I was away all day, but she’ll be alright,” Sion even scrapes chocolate off the box. He must be really deprived, then. “I’m kind of hoping one day she’ll go to Yushi like she goes to you but that’s never gonna happen.”
That makes Riku blink, deadly curious. “Why?” He’s only ever seen Megumi and Yushi get along wonderfully.
And yet Sion’s smile is a little sly. “I think she knows that he’s not the kind of adult who can problem solve, bless his heart.” He licks his spoon. “But she’s obsessed with you. Which makes sense. Because her Appa’s also-”
“S-stop that.” Riku grumbles as Sion laughs. Loudly.
“That’s not what I meant but it’s true, too,” Sion smiles. His hand loops up to cradle Riku’s jaw so he can bring him in close. Sion’s tone goes low: “And I’m serious, you know. No take backs.”
“I wasn’t gonna,” Riku complains like he’s one of his seven year-olds. But that earns him a kiss that tastes like chocolate and that’s nice, too.
They sit at the bench for a while, mostly just holding hands while Sion keeps Riku tucked into his side. Riku’s pleased by this, he’s pleased more than he knew was possible. He hadn’t realized how touchy Sion would be and he’d really like this to last forever, so Riku asks, a little petulant: “So. Are we…” Wow, that’s embarrassing to ask.
Sion looks over at him. He squeezes his hand. “...Dating?” He smiles when Riku nods. “If you want to.”
Riku squeezes back. “Then, what do you want?”
Sion’s eyes shine. “Boyfriends is good. We should do something to, uh. Make it official.” So he means a date. Why doesn’t he say the word date?
“Okay…” Riku agrees. “I’m busy for a few weeks. Because of the festival.”
Sion nods. “After that, then. But don’t try anything funny with me until then.” He rests his head on Riku’s shoulder. “I’m a delicate guy. I need it slow. Just…”
“I’m not the one to try anything funny,” Riku huffs. Though he’s fine with that. So he adds: “And don’t try anything at school.”
Sion laughs. “I won’t. Gumi doesn’t need to see that.”
Riku nods. “She doesn’t.”
There’s more he wants to ask. He wants to know more, he wants to needle Sion for everything, he wants to ask for details. What they are, what they’ll do. The thing about Megumi, too, is complicated. But Sion is content just sitting there and holding his hand and Riku doesn’t really want to ruin the moment. Or at least not until Sion’s phone rings.
“Aigo,” Sion sighs before he picks up. And then he answers in Korean.
Riku’s not really sure what he’s saying but he can hear Yushi’s voice on the other side. Sion mostly hums along, chiding a little from the sounds of it. At one point he laughs. He looks over at Riku, really looks at him, and says something into his phone.
…Riku really needs to learn Korean, huh. He doesn’t want to give Sion such an easy way to torment him.
The call’s not long. Sion hangs up and pockets his phone. “The kid needs her Appa,” he says with a good deal of remorse in his voice. He lets go of Riku’s hand to run his palm over Riku’s shoulder, one hand even smoothing over his hair. “Can you make it back on your own?”
“...Yeah.” It’s embarrassing. Riku is ninety percent sure Sion is doting on him to the same extent he dotes on Megumi. But it’s not unwelcome. Not at all.
Sion’s thumb caresses his jaw. “What about your ankle?”
“I think I’ll manage,” Riku smiles. “I can drive. I think.”
Sion’s eyes only narrow like he’s not quite convinced. “Well. At least let me help you back to the car.”
So he does. Sion’s arm is around his waist again except this time he’s more handsy, unafraid to bring Riku in close. God, he’s either oblivious as hell or doing that on purpose and Riku has a feeling it’s the latter. But they get back to the truck without that much effort. Riku’s pretty sure he could’ve walked by himself anyway.
“Be careful, seriously,” Sion nags a little as Riku climbs back into the truck. He leans against the door while Riku buckles himself in. “Riku, if you die in an accident on your way home before I take you on a date-”
“What are you talking about,” Riku’s a little exasperated. But he follows obediently when Sion pulls him down into a kiss. “I said no take backs, so…”
“You did,” Sion murmurs. He doesn't seem to want to go yet, though, because he doesn’t let Riku pull back very far. His hand’s on his nape again. Nice and firm. “You’re so pretty.”
Riku squirms. “So are you.”
Sion smiles. “Mm. Thank you.”
Sion lets him go after that, though. He steps back from the truck so Riku can close the door. Riku rolls down his window and shouts at his- oh, god, they’re boyfriends. Holy shit.
“Get home safe!” Riku says. “And- and text me!”
“I will,” Sion promises. “Thank you for the cake. And your face.”
Riku goes pink. “That’s- okay, bye!”
He drives off. He can hear Sion’s cackles following him in the wind. It’s so- he’s so-
Riku presses a hand to his lips. They’re warm. They taste like chocolate. He got kissed so much and it was so good and Sion’s so handsome and nice and sexy and- Riku can’t help it this time, yelling his heart out all the way home: KYAAAAA!
It takes almost no time to get back to his place. Riku hobbles inside pretty easily so he doesn’t think the injury’s all that bad, at least. He texts Sion that he’s home before showering and collapsing in bed. He goes through his routine in a daze. Is he dreaming? No, he’s not. But that’s the crazy part, holy shit, how is this even-
His phone buzzes before he drifts off. He peeks at the text. Riku~ Sleep well, okay?
Riku smiles something so fond that it’s fucking stupid. He types back: Sion-san~ I will~
It’s so- he can’t even process the events of tonight, can barely think about anything besides Sion’s lips and his beautiful, calloused hands. But it feels like a dream that came true, for once, and he’s so fucking happy.